Sleeping Issue - Ann Arbor,MI

Updated on April 07, 2008
H.I. asks from Edwardsville, IL
20 answers

Hello ladies. I got such wonderful input to my toddler food question I thought I would try another. My daughter is almost two. She has NEVER had an issue with sleeping. I simply would lay her in her crib and she would go to sleep. Recently she started to climb out of her crib. Due to the safety issue, I now have her in a toddler bed. It has only been a week or so, but she doesn't want to stay in her bed. I was shutting the door, but she would get up and knock on it and call out for my husband or myself. The last few nights I have sat in the room so that she doesn't get out of bed. The problem is sometimes it is for up to an hour. I don't want to start a habbit of having to sit with her. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to keep her in her bed without having to sit in there with her? I appreciate any advice.

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So What Happened?

I just wanted to say thanks for all of the great advice. I guess I knew what I needed to do, but I didn't know what to expect and all of the feedback really helped. I went with just laying her down and doing our normal bedtime routine. I gave a kiss and walked out shutting the door behind me. I have done this for three bedtimes now- 2 nights and 1 nap. She gets up only a couple times. I let her be until I hear her knocking. Then I go in and lay her back down without saying a thing. I guess that I am lucky, cuz she took to it very well. The first night she only got up 4 times. At nap time today she got up twice. Tonight at bed time she got up 4 times, but on the last time she only knocked once so I let her be and she got back into bed on her own and went to sleep. I was expecting alot worse but was hoping for the best. Thanks again for all of the input.

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R.B.

answers from Lansing on

H.,

I would close the door like you started to, but don't respond to her knocking. she'll cry, but will she'll learn that she will be better off just staying in bed and she'll sleep.

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C.C.

answers from Grand Rapids on

ever watch supernanny? i've tried her ideas and they work wonders - everything from time outs to bedtime! BEST OF LUCK be patient - it' won't last forever!! :)

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B.S.

answers from Detroit on

My Daughter-in-law came up with a solution that worked extremely well for them. They purchased a gate and put across their sons bedroom door. Even if he did get out of his bed he could not get out of the room. At first he would fall asleep on the floor near the gate but it didn't take long for him to start staying in his bed.

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W.A.

answers from Detroit on

Leave the door open but put a baby gate up so she cannot get out. It will let her feel not to isolated. Tell her is time for bed and she must stay in her room. Make sure her room is childproof and wherever she falls asleep so be it. You can always go in after she falls asleep and put her in her bed.

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A.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

my three year old just out of nowhere started something simioar, needing to floss, left teddy bear downstairs (on purpose i think) drink of water, etc, I got her a wind up flashlight...problem solved. she can have it on all night if she wants, and it gets dimmer through the night, but doesn't go through hundreds of $ worth of batteries. good luck, A.

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J.R.

answers from Detroit on

I had that problem with my 3 year old, well he was 2 when we put him in his toddler bed. Same thing constantly getting out of bed. I saw this on the super nanny. So I thought, why not try
it, we've tried everything else. Sit in the room with your back to your daughter, and every time she gets up put her back into her bed. It's a battle of the wills. Make sure you don't say to much, just that it's time for bed. It will take a few nights. The first night with my son took almost an hour and I did cry a bit from frustration. But it got better and he stays in his bed most of the night now. I say most of the night because he started having night terrors and sleep walks. Yippie for me:) Hope it helps

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J.H.

answers from Detroit on

I would suggest putting up a baby gate, instead of closing the door to at least keep her in her room. I was told by my daughters doctor that its not your responsibility to put them to sleep, but it is your responsibility to give them the opportunity to sleep. She said its ok if there playing in there room quiety, because that is still considered resting, they will fall asleep when they want. It's also a way to give them a little independence and choices. Just make sure her room is as safe as her crib, obviously. So she cant hurt herself. I have done this with my daughter who is 19 months old and she has fallen asleep within 15 minutes of putting her in there. Hope that helps!

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K.G.

answers from Detroit on

I don't have any real advice but if you get desperate my Mom used an old pair of pantyhose to tie my brothers feet together so he couldn't get out of bed;)

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A.R.

answers from Detroit on

My son kept climbing out of bed and wondering around. I did not like the gate and we tried to just put him in bed over and over and it was multiple hours for over a month. Ugh. In the end, we realized what he really could not live without and each time he got out of his bed, we would remove that thing (for him it was just having his door open, so we would close it) for just a minute or even less. Then go in, hug him, tell him "Good night" and tuck him in. In two nights, he was staying in his bed and while it takes him a little bit to settle and go to sleep, he does go to sleep. I have heard similar issues with other parents where they would turn off a favorite night light, blanket, or some other well loved object. Good luck!!!

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L.C.

answers from Saginaw on

It seems that she is changing her sleep needs. Perhaps you are putting her to bed these days a little before she's tired. The changing light (lighter in the evening) is stimulating, and it is normal for people to sleep less and less as the nights shorten, and then more and more as they lengthen.

Have you tried putting her to bed half an hour later? You're not getting that hour of sleep/alone-time in the evening anyhow...

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

1. Watch Supernanny now and then. Jo has great advise on consistency and this particular probelm is covered often.
2. Quit sitting in there with her. This is a matter of adjustment to a new bed. You and dad are going in there all the time and she gets used to it.

So go back, put her in her new bed, say it's bedtime/time to go to sleep, and leave the room. It may take a few nights, but the time it takes and number of visits back will decrease and she'll get used to it.

Be patient, H.. Being a parent just isn't always easy and we have to think, often, what if it was you or me. I've often had to think back to when I was a kid to figure out my own kids. And even now, sleeping in a hotel bed can mess up my sleeping, so I empathize with your little one. Good luck!

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C.P.

answers from Detroit on

H.,
We had the exact same problem with or son. It's a pain in the butt, but after about a week they usually stop knocking lol. Every time my son would get out of bed and knock on the door, my hubby or I would go in there firmly tell him "no, it's time to go night night" and place him back in his bed. We're doing the same with our daughter and it's working the same with her. We were just very consistent and they finally gave up. Good luck!

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A.H.

answers from Benton Harbor on

this sounds crazy but works, with the sleeping issue she is trying to get you to stay with her until she falls asleep, but who seriously has the time, so my son did the same thing and what i did was put him in his bed and say good night, read him a story, give him kisses and every time he got out i would then place him in his bed, and keep repeating this until he eventually gave up and realized i wasn't going to stay with him until he fell asleep. she has to realize if she can be in a toddler bed she is a big girl and really play up the fact that she is and make bedtime fun! this might take up to an hour but each day you do it will take less time and the next night might take no time at all.

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L.B.

answers from Detroit on

We had the same problem with my son. We eventually got to the point where we told him, "two books and then bed." We would read the two books and for the first week we sat in his room until he fell asleep. The next week we did the books and then sat right outside his door. Eventually he stayed in his bed on his own. Some nights were harder than others, we would have to carry him and put him back in bed several times. Try it. When it gets frustrating just think about super nanny or one of those shows where parents can't get their 10 year olds to sleep. A little frustration now is worth it in the long run. And remember, she is learning something she has never done before.

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L.M.

answers from Detroit on

Is your dtr 2? That is still quite young for a bed. I had the same problem. My son was a fantastic sleeper in his crib but would get out. We tired the toddler bed without success and frustration. We ended up getting the crib cover/tent. It was like a tent that went over the top of the crib and prevented him from getting out. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2404625
Babies R Us sells it and I put a link to it. This worked wonders. We were able to keep our son in the crib for another year of blissful sleep! Good Luck
L.

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D.M.

answers from Saginaw on

hello, yes my son started climbing out of his crib well the first time he was 9 months but we lowered it then it happened again at 16 months we could no longer lower it. What we did that seems to work, we have a side gaurd so he doesn't just fall out and we also put a sound and lights show on the side of his bed whenever he wakes up he turns it on and it some how sings him back to sleep its amazing...also instead of closing the door which freaks me and him out. we put up a baby gate. That way we close the door enough so that we won't disturb him walking by and I can look in on him but he doesn't feel so trapped. We have not had any problem as long as we stay to what he understands. We give him a bottle, cuddle when he is done we take him in his room say prayer, then I sing away in the manger and lay him down so that he is facing the light sound toy and he pushes the button and we leave. Beleive me his sleep issues have been constant this has actually been our easiest transtition. Hope some of these tips help you.

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K.D.

answers from Detroit on

I found that if you just keep putting them back without saying anything more than it is bedtime, and ignore the crying eventually they will get that they have to stay there. Supernanny Jo Frost has a wonderful book out that explains the whole process and calls this one ironically the "stay in bed technique" It took about an hour the first night, about 20 min the next and 5 the next. Now he goes right down and stays :)

Gook Luck
K. SAHM of 3

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C.V.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi H.,
I have been through this with my son. What we did was take turn putting him back to bed. My son kept getting up and I would be him back once and say, "Its time for bed, Good night". After that we wouldn't say anything. When he got up we would put him back, no talking. Don't get mad. I would highly recommend your husband being a part of the process. If it would have been just me I would have gotten stressed and it wouldn't have worked. I think the first night he got up 56 times, if I remember correctly. The second it was much smaller, maybe 15 times and the third night he didn't get up. He will be 5 in August and sleeps great now. I have a 2 year old that will be transitioning soon and I'm not looking forward to it. If you are consistant it will work. Good luck.
Chris

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N.K.

answers from Detroit on

Hi H.. Just switched my daughter to a toddler bed at 13 months. Now she's 16 months and loves her bed. It took some adjusting. You said it's already beena week but I swear it took my daughter a good 3 weeks beofre it was a thing of the past. What we did was got a baby gate so she wasn't going into mommy and daddy's room. We were not going to have that. That's too stressful and so is sitting by her while she's trying to go to sleep. I would'nt shut the door b\c my opinion is they are too closed off from you and could possibly be a little frightened being that this bed is all new too her. Too much change can be overwelming to little ones. I mean, look at the way too much change effects adults.So what I did was at first I would stand by her bed side but not until she fell asleep but to where she was settled down and calm. After a week then I would move closer to the door. Then eventually she WILL get used to that. She will, mark my word. It does take some time. Iwas very consistent and let me tell you she adjusted very well because of that. Try that and I bet you and her will get the hang of that and that more than anything will feel settling to her to know that your still close by without having to sit by the bedside. Good luck and "this too shall pass" P.S. play some soft music while going to bed and maybe a Disney character nightlight or something. That works!!

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W.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi H.,
Try putting up a baby gate in her doorway. That way she can stay in her room, she can see out, you can check on her once she is asleep. MAybe consider using the 'bedroom time' instead of 'bed time.' If she wants to look at books while she is in bed, that's okay, but she has to stay in her bedroom.
Just a thought... hope it works.

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