Sleeping - Santa Clara, CA

Don't let do cry it out! Please! Try pick up/put down method. Tracy Hogg wrote "Baby Whisperer". She is really good. I've tried all her ideas and they work! Get a used book on Amazon and flip directly to sleeping at night using pick up/put down, please!!

Hi J.,
I too am a big fan of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth! I actually worked for him as a pediatric nurse back in Chicago, and I've seen his methods work for all his patients. My son is now 10 months old, and he sleeps from 6:30pm-6am. He also takes 2 naps a day, one at 9am and one at 1pm.It took some hard work and time to get there, but it was sooo worth it. We tried doing the graduated extinction method which is where you check on him in 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, etc.. but that didn't seem to work for him. That made him more angry when we would go back in there, and patting him on the back or talking to him also only made things worse. We decided to let him cry it out, and he cried about an hour the first night, 45 min. the next night, 40 minutes the third night, and by the 4th night, he was asleep in a matter of about 5 minutes. Ever since, he's learned to fall asleep on his own. We have a bedtime routine that we stick to religiously, and put him down with his favorite blankie, and he sucks his thumb and plays with his blankie until he falls asleep. It usually takes less than 10 minutes..but he doesn't cry. He knows it's time to sleep and he knows how to soothe himself. He naturally stopped waking up in the middle of the night b/c he learned how to fall back asleep on his own. Although, when he is sick or is teething really bad, we would go in to him in the middle of the night and hold him until he would go back to sleep. After the illness is over, we have to retrain him to go back to sleep, but that's usually just one night of him crying for 10 minutes or so. I believe that sleeping is a learned process..and that's why some adults even have trouble falling asleep without assistance. Teaching babies at a young age will lead them to be well rested and they'll learn to love sleep. Best of luck, and feel free to ask me more questions if you have any.

Hi J.! I have twins that are 5 1/2 and a 3 year old. I started putting my girls in their cribs when they were 3 months old which some might think is too little. It worked for me however, and they liked their cribs versus the bassinett in my room.

I let them cry for 10-15 minutes and then I would poke my head in and check up on them to make sure they were not crying from something other than not wanting to go to sleep right away. Sometimes I would sit on the floor next to the crib and sing softly to them or rub/pat their backs until they relaxed enough to fall asleep. Sometimes they just wanted to see me so I would sit on the floor and slowly move a little towards the door as they got sleepy until I made it out the door and they were gone! My twins always slept with soft music playing. I did children's music and classical. They also went to sleep at night with their little lamp on. Once they were about 2 yrs old, they started only wanting a small night light on. They cry if they don't have it on, to this day!

Also see if closing or opening the door to their room makes a difference. All of my kids wanted their doors closed and cried until I closed them. My co-worker however, has to have the door open to her daughter's room or she cries non stop. Routine makes a big, big difference. Find one and stick to it as much as possible for instance, naps (1-2 during day), bath before bed, read a story, bedtime 7/7:30, soft music playing, night light, door open/closed. Children love and need routine. It makes them feel safe and they know their tiny world is ok.

To this day, my children do not fight me when it is bed time (they even ask to go to bed!) which is 8/8:30. They don't fight me to take a nap and they love to read because we made it part of the routine when they were babies. They also love music. I have never had a problem keeping them out of my own bed either. They love their beds/rooms and they don't ask to sleep with my husband and I which makes everyone happy! :-)

I hope this helps you. It does get better as they get older and overcome fears, etc. Good luck!

We were at the same place at 10 months. I tried a lot of different techniques but for us crying it out worked. But every child is different. He fell asleep after 45 minutes the first night, 20 minutes the second night, an hour the third night and by the 4th night I think it was like 2 minutes. This doesn't work for everyone and it was so so h*** o* us. I wanted to vomit, so we turned off the monitor and watched a movie and turned the monitor back on after 30 minutes on low. But I have to say now he is 14 months and he sleeps so well all on his own. I still hold him a few extra minutes in my arms before bed even when he is scrambling to get in his crib. =)
His napping got much better too after this. He still takes 1/2 hour to get to sleep but he talks to his animal friends in the crib and rarely ever cries (usually b/c he needs a diaper change). We have also been using a sound maker since he was born and he loves the white noise. I have some friends who have tried this as well and it has worked for them too even starting it at 10 months & 2 years. But do what is right for you. Try different things. Something will click.

Dear J., My babies are now 38 and 40. I started when they were infants to read Bible verses and singing to them. Sometimes I just made up little songs. I held them and I did get them into a schedule as they got older. It's mostly a trial and error finding the happy medium. But just remember, I know you are tired. but babies grow very fast. I have no Grandchildren. Hold them and love on them as long as you can.......some things never change with time

Hi J.!
I have a 2 1/2 yr old daughter who has slept thru the night since she was 2 1/2 months old. I used techniques from the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth and now I recommend this book to everyone. First, what time is bedtime? I find we have less problems with going to sleep and staying asleep if the bedtime is early. My daughter no longer wants to nap so her bedtime is at 6:30pm and she is asleep by 7:00pm. When she was 10 months old she still napped at 9:00am and 1:00pm for about 1-1 1/2 hrs and was asleep by 6-6:30pm with a wake-up between 6-7am. If she woke up at night I didn't go in and she went back to sleep. "Sleep begets sleep" is what Dr. Weissbluth says and I have seen it happen with my daughter. I have a video monitor so I know exactly how long it takes for her to go to sleep and I know I hit the perfect time if she goes to sleep within 30 mins. Of course the times are flexible depending on naps, activities during the day and how she seems. I have gotten very good at "reading" the signs of tiredness in my daughter and can get her to bed BEFORE she gets overtired. During the holidays it is very difficult to get her back on track as she is a little sleep deprived so I have an extra early bedtime for a few days. I would L. to help you come up with a personalized plan if you would like. I have done this for all my friends with great success. E-mail me!
Good luck,
L.

i think it depends on the kid. if your child is figuring out how to self-sooth within 30-45 minutes, still crying but not as intense, then crying it out may work for you. most things i read, even from the cry it out proponents, say 2 hours max. so i would try it for a few days, listening every so often. other moms have tried to gradual withdrawal (you're in the room, but on the floor next to the crib, gradually sitting further away each night until you're out of the room), check and soothe (you go in, pat the back every 5 minutes until they fall asleep, but don't pick up), or just wait until they outgrow needing you. our son was very responsive to crying it out. it took 45 minutes the first night, but his crying started to calm down after about 30 minutes. we started to learn that if we went in to check when the crying was abating, we just worked him up.

btw - we were worried our son was waking up in the middle of the night while visiting my in-laws because he was afraid of the dark (12 months old). we called our pediatrician because he was having such a hard time sleeping, even though he is a fantastic sleeper. apparently, that's impossible at that age. kids do not develop an imagination until they hit around 2 years. you cannot be afraid of the dark if you don't have an imagination, because the dark is just the dark - you don't project images or objects that don't exist into what you see. so babies are not afraid of the dark. a 2 year old on the other hand...

My friends told me I should let my son cry until he falls asleep and I did that, though it hurt me hearing him cry for 3 hours. To this day, ater 30 years, I still wish that I had never done that. I wish that I had held him in my arms to let him know that he was loved and then put him down in his crib and I sleep on the couch or floor next to him until he learned to sleep on his own. I believe this would help him to have security and know that his Mama loved him and would always be there for him. He would grow up to be more self confidant. He would never have to be afraid of the dark.