Should We Push Our Gifted/talented Son into Advanced Courses for Junior High?

Well, first...I think you REALLY need to find out why he isn't trying. Something is going on there. I would not proceed until you know why he is giving up. Then, a decision can be made. If you don't find out why, he still won't try no matter what classes he's in, and pushing won't make him try harder.

Does it have to be all or nothing? Seems like plenty of kids take honors classes in some areas and "average" classes in others. I was always the "honors English, average math" type. I got into a decently competitive college and have had a respectable enough career.

More importantly, though, as others have said, you need to find out what's behind all this.

Best wishes,

Mira

I think you need a word exchange Push might be better off replaced with Encourage. I think you should encourage him to do what feels right. I would talk to the counselor and find out if he can begin the year in the regular class and change next semester OR if he can take the regular class with additional challenges from the math teacher. I know a kid that was right in the middle of the two bored in the "regular" but too challenged in the "GT/Honor" class and he took the regular and had additional "extra credit" work given by the "Honors" teacher along with additional tutoring from the honors teacher. I would look for a compromise or find out if you can find another path that will keep him working in his regular classes and allow him to stand out in a different way that helps cure the boredom. In addition Jr. High begins to define him socially - could that be an issue for him? Does he fear being the smart nerd and long for being a "regular" guy?

When did the C's start happening?
We can check our son's grades on Edline online at any time and if grades are slipping we want to know why immediately and then work out a solution.
The school work comes first and nothing else happens until it is finished.
No tv, no games, no recreational computer, no friends, no activities or sports come before school work.
The quickest way to fun is to get the work done.
And my son has done very well with this - he's focused on the work and when it's finished he can relax.
I think you, your son, his teacher(s) and the school guidance counselor need to have a meeting and discuss what is going on before final decisions are made regarding his course selections.
You might also see that he gets a summer job cleaning out horse stalls and shoveling manure.
If you don't apply yourself in school, a lot of hard manual (and low paying) labor is in your future.

Did you talk to your son and ask him why the shift in focus, results and effort?

I can tell you this.... and I don't know your son (my daughter is "gifted" and 11 1/2) and if TOLD her to register for a certain class that is just a recipe for her to flunk it and rebel something akin to asking guns n roses to keep from breaking furniture in a hotel!!!!!!.
Instead of "telling" her what to do.... I have conversations with her to understand what she is thinking. What her goals are. I try to get her to think about college and what kind of job she wants. what kind of house she wants to live in and what kind of car she wants to drive. where she wants to vacation. Then you work backwards...... to have those things, you need a career with xyz earning potential. To have that kind of career you need to do 123. I let HER figure out she needs to learn as much as she can now, that she needs to push herself (cuz Abercrombie shorts don't grow on trees....lol).

I don't push her. I support her. THEN she does better.

We just moved from a big city to a smaller town and my daughter is finishing 6th grade in a new school. In her old school it was cool to be smart. Here...... not so much. So they are different conversations, because it's about fitting in with her peers, but accepting the gifts that she was given - which is to be smart. And it's very tough for her to excel right now, because it means she gets "looked at" and that makes her want to crawl in a dark hole.

Your son may have figured out that he is now "outside the box" and that is a tough place to be when you are a tween. He is trying to figure out who he is.... and for some odd reason that means trying to be like everyone else.

So, no. I don't think it's in anyone's best interest for you to tell your son what classes to take. But he's old enough and smart enough to engage in some very tough discussions about what he wants to be when he grows up and what the best path is to get there.

Good luck.

I would except him to take the advanced courses. For one, he will be bored in the other classes. For two, it will look better on his college apps and his overall GPA. He is too young to really understand how important that is. Give him the option to pick maybe 2 or 3 advanced classes. If he is stronger is math and sciences, than those can be his AP classes, or he can do English and History if those are his strong points. I usually did 2 courses a semester, but, many people I know did more than that. Elective wise, he should choose what will challenge and interest him. There should be some sort of compromise between the two of you.

Have you talked to him about his choices? About why he is getting Cs now (when he wasn't before)?

I have a 12 year old daughter who REFUSES to go back to "average" classes. They are just so boring to her...but, she was only selected this year for GT (she should have been there all along, but I didn't know to push for it).

You really need to have a discussion with him to find out why he chose the easy route. Maybe he wants to find a new group of friends, maybe he wants time to focus more on athletics, music, art, etc?

Good Luck!

I think as parents we have to guide our children to achieve up to their full potential whatever that is for your family. Some think C is the best and some thing B is the best for what they are able to do. It is our position to not allow them to do less then they are capable of. If the C is the best a child can do and it was scene they did the BEST they could, then that should be OK. As long as my children show their BEST, they will get great praise from me no matter what the outcome.

I would expect him to take the advanced course in the subject he enjoys the most - whatever that might be.
My daughter is capable of advanced work in everything. She is taking 3 advanced Math classes, but a regular English class because she hates to write. It works for us... She chose to take AP History --( and it's almost killing her because the test is May 11 and they have to cover all of US History by then... The last month of school, they'll chill out, watch movies, and do easy projects -- and they will have earned that. )
When she went from Middle to High School, we met with the guidance counselor who talked with her about colleges, what they want, and what she needed to do to get in... You might consider that.
If your child wants to do Engineering, he'd best get his act together and take those advanced classes. If he wants to do something else, again -- he has to realize that his classes now will affect what happens next.
YMMV
LBC

One GT or AP course per year.

Does your son understand that his classes and grades in high school are a large part of what allows him to attend the college he would like to attend?

Also to be on any teams and clubs he will need to maintain passing grades.

We always told our daughter we would rather have her make a B in honors than all A. This would mean she was really having to work for her grades, because she was being challenged. We just wanted to do her best.

We also reminded her, SHE would be doing the work. We were not going to be keeping up with her work etc.

I do believe you need to speak with his teachers and find out exactly what is going on with him in the classrooms and where are the lower grades coming from.

In my husbands case he is very ADHD and hated the busy work.. He could look at math problems and tell you the answers, but he hated having to "show his work".. SO he would get terrible daily and homework grades, but pass the tests and exams.
Even worse.. He parents would make sure he did his homework.. but he would not turn it in!!!

He ended up doing well on his SAT and so he got into a great college.

Speak with his teachers and see what the suggest and then have a sit down with your son and see if he can understand the dilemma right now.

You do not want him to be bored in classes, but you also need him to understand he will need to do the work. He will miss out on amazing opportunities in the honors classes. Our daughter had some incredible teachers, attended great plays, museums, dissected all sorts of animals.

Have you talked to him about why his grades have slipped?
I'm afraid at this age he will probably just shrug and say, I dunno, or school is "boring" or "dumb."
He's about to hit a major growth spurt, mentally and physically. Junior high is a tough age for most kids.
I don't think I would necessarily push the gifted classes at this point (though I don't know your son so it's hard to say) but I WOULD push him to stay physically and socially active as those skills are just as important as academics, ESPECIALLY at that age. Tell him he needs to choose at least one activity outside of school, a sport or musical instrument, whatever, so that he stays busy and (hopefully) has some fun :)

My son was in the same boat in grade school....but during a big meeting about how smart he was....they informed me that all this could taper off by the time he reached middle school. No...don't make him take the courses...just let him be a normal kid. Why....my son is extremely smart as an adult....he did not hold that honor roll all the way thru high school. I think he got bored with everyone always making reference to how smart he was. It can happen...you know....have an adverse reaction on the child.

Regardless of whether or not you try to change his mind, you should at least talk with him about why he's stopped trying, and why he wants to drop GT classes. Something else is going on here.

Should you guide him into GT classes? That in part depends on why he's not performing up to his abilities now, and also what level of college you're hoping to send him to. Ivy League? University? State College? JC? Talk with him about his goals. However, keep in mind that life is about more than preparing for the next step. You also have to enjoy the present stage of life.

I was in all honors classes from 7-12 grade. My parents thought it would help me get into college. I thought if I didn't take honors classes, I wouldn't be competitive for college admissions. I did great in all my classes. And I was miserable with all of the busy work. I survived though, and moved on to a great State University (even declining acceptance at UC Berkeley and UC San Diego!). Guess who else went to my same college? A girl who took no honors classes! Colleges look at more than your transcript. They want a well-rounded person.

Bottom line, talk to your son and find out what he really wants and why. Then support him (as long as he's not aiming for remedial classes!). Best wishes.

My daughter has honors classes in middle school. Next year she goes to the HS and would like to be in some honors classes. She probably won't qualify because she does not have "A's" and unlike the HS classes a "B" in an honors class is weighted so it is comparable to a A in a non honors class.
If your son isn't working hard I may not want him to be in honors classes however my daughter is motivated to do well now because all the kids she has been with for the last 3 year are in honors classes and she wants to be with her friends. Tough decision.

I have two sons that are both GT and have been at GT magnet schools in our district since kindergarten. My younger son is in 7th grade and is a very good student. My older son is a Junior in high school (and actually has a higher IQ than my younger son, but ADHD) and is a terrible student. He has been pretty much unmotivated since kindergarten, but really stopped trying in the past two years. We really wrestled with the question about whether advanced classes were right for him. The best advice we got from his counselor - if he is only going to do the minimal amount to get by, then where do you want to set that bar! In other words, if he is not really trying, then he may not perform any better in regular classes than he has been in the GT classes. My son is taking mostly AP classes this year and barely passing, but he is not doing much better in the couple of regular classes that he has. Because the AP classes are weighted then a C in AP is equal to a B in regulars and AP classes look better on your transcript.

That being said, he may rebel if he feels you are forcing these classes on him. Luckily for us, even my older son really prefers to take the advanced classes for the most part. Because my kids have been in GT magnet schools, there has not been such a stigma on being smart. They actually don't want to be in "regulars." I would definitely encourage your son to take at least some advanced classes. What are his best subjects? If science is something that he does not enjoy or is not good at, then maybe he doesn't need to be in the GT class. Is he choosing the regular classes because he thinks they will be easier or because that is what his friends are taking? Is he thinking he doesn't want to be seen as a nerd? You definitely need to try to determine what is causing his new lack of interest in school.

Don't make him take every high level class. Do expect him to take courses that will get him into college.

What does he do in his off time? Play computer games? Go out with his friends? Give him games and fun with his friends after he has credit for turning in his work and studying for a test. If he doesn't deliver in his classes, he does not get his privileges. It's the best way.

Sorry this is happening. You might want to consider a counselor if he doesn't improve.

Dawn