Should I Tell Him Not to Come with Me??

I'd let him decide. He should (hopefully) know if it's acceptable to leave early from work, trust his judgement unless he gives you a reason not to. This is the only way he can participate in the pregnancy and parenting right now, it's great that he wants to be so active. Tell him the likelihood of you going to the hospital right after the appointment, he can deal with the disappointment when/if you don't go. Congrats to both of you, and be happy he's so involved!

Awww, thats kind of cute of him :0) I think "one and done" said it well - tell him there is no need for him to be there but then if he really wants to go, let him make the decision. You can also suggest that by missing this week it would be easier for him to come next time (if needed), or he can save some extra time off for when the baby does come. Even if they do send you to the hospital, he would have PLENTY of time to get there before the baby does! Congrats to you both!

If it's that important to him to be there, then you should not turn him away. Do not start teaching him now that it's no big deal and you can handle it alone.

Trust.

As in trust him to know his boss, and do what's right at work, the same way you would want him to trust you.

Just my .02

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Heck, one of the reasons my husband got on the outs with his boss at one job was that it was a Mormon company, and they kept finding out he was "ditching us" for work. His boss MAY be the same way. "What kind of husband wouldn't be with his expecting wife unless it was an absolute emergency?"

He probably knows what he can do or not do at his company. Don't micromanage him in that arena. If you want to reassure yourself just ask him if his boss is okay with it.

Yes, he should go with you. It's great that he is thinking of you, and you want to have that continue, so positive behavior needs to be rewarded.

This is his baby too, and he should be intimately involved in this exciting process leading up to the arrival of your baby. It will serve you well in the future.

Yes, he should go. And good for him for wanting to.

He's excited and nervous...let him come with you! Enjoy this special time together, and you never know...he could be right!

When I was a surrogate, both parents came to every appointment and with twins, there were a lot of them. Towards the end they got into the habit of picking me up at my house and driving me there - it was about an hour out of their way but they were understandably nervous nellies and didn't want me driving. I knew that I was fine to drive but indulged them anyway.

The thing is...when you're the pregnant one, you're the one who is in control. You know what your body is and isn't doing, you know how you feel and what you're capable of. He doesn't know, which is nerve wracking. And if his boss has kids, he probably remembers those first-time dad jitters too and will cut him some slack. I know that the guys in my office were always supportive of other first time dads - they would tease them a bit, but let them do what they needed to do.

Tell him that only happens in movies!!

Seriously, I have four, I was the first to know not my doctor!

Both. Assure him there's no need to be there (there isn't!) THEN let him do what he wants.

My husband was hundreds of miles away when my water broke and he still had time to pack, book a flight, and get home for the last 12 hours of labor!

Wow, he is really caring about the appointments and actually goes to it.
You are lucky.
Do you realize that?

With both my pregnancies.... I went to the Doc alone. My Husband did not take off work. He only came when, I had had my Amniocentesis testing.
I also had had a miscarriage once... and D&C and he was not there. I had gone to the appointment and had the procedure with only myself there.
But... I didn't expect him to go to my appointments, nor all of them, and didn't want him to be getting off work all the time and compromise his standing there. He was not employed there long.

You are 39 weeks pregnant.
Your Fiance wants to accompany you.
If he is able to get off work, and his going to many of your appointments does not affect his job... then let him go with you .
And, he can speak to his Boss.... and hopefully his Boss IS allowing him to do this. I mean, if your Fiance takes off work, he does have to have clearance from his Boss, right? So I assume, it is FINE that he is getting off work etc.

You are going to have baby soon.
Your Fiance is obviously excited.
Let him come.

As long as he isn't putting his job at risk, I would let him go. It just sounds like hes excited and wants to be there for you. =) Good luck!!!

I would cut the guys some slack. It's first baby, I assume, but either way it's his baby with a woman he loves and there are plenty of guys out there who could care less about doctor appointments. Let him fuss, let him worry a bit, let him be that dad who cares. As long as it's not to an extreme which I don't think it is, let him do his thing. If you truly have a concern about his job and his boss then have a talk with him and tell him your concerns and/or have him talk with his boss or if you know the boss and feel comfortable speaking to him just let the boss know that your fiance is having daddy jitters. It's all good.

My husband is a retired Marine. He was only at the birth of the triplets, 3 out of 5 kids.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

The day my 2nd was due (had an induction, 38 weeks, no signs of budging), hubby woke up and said 'anything?'. I said, nope, go to work, i'll call you. so off to work he went. He didn't get sick leave, and was going to be using his only 2 week vacation for right after the birth, so I wanted/needed him to be at work as much as possible so that the paycheck that week wouldn't be short.

So off to work he went. I got up, called the hospital to see if they had a bed for me, I was told to call at 7a. So I called and they said, um you were supposed to be reporting here right now. How far away are you? 30 mins.
So I called my Dad and told him to come over now instead of when we'd planned. When I finally got to the hospital, still didn't feel anything. They hooked me up and said 'oh, you're 4 cm'. really?

Dr. came in and said looks like today's the day. So I called hubby at 10:30 to fill him in. His boss sent him home that second! He got to the hospital at 11a. (3 hours early). The baby was born at 3:30p. (hubby totally could've done a full day!)

Part of it may be that he doesn't want to miss the moment. So if he really wants to be there, don't push. Let him come. However, one option is if you have someone able to drive you to the appt., then tell him he should stay at work, but available to leave if needed.

I would just tell him to stay at work and save the time off for when the baby actually arrives. I think he will understand that.

Wow, it sounds really important to him. As it should, as this is probably his first?

Just know, I am from the generation of husbands/fathers who showed up for the conception and the birth only. My doctors asked to meet my husband eventually. Oh, I did not know that dads came in, I said. So, he did come in towards the end.

Talk to him & make sure he's not compromising his job, or losing too much time-off that he could save for after the baby is born. If those things are ok, then I'd say let him be there! I would have loved for my husband to be able to go to more of my appointments with me. He was several states away with the military for the last 3 months of my pregnancy. I ended up being induced, with that decision made the morning before it was scheduled. We were able to get him home, but he only got there maybe 5 minutes before our daughter was born!

So yeah, I'd let him come as long as it's not going to hurt his job! :)

I'd let him go. What if the doc does say that???????LOL.

He is excited about the baby. His co-workers are most likely getting to enjoy this too. It will all be over in a few days so let him enjoy the attention and becoming a daddy. He sounds awesome!

My husband only came to my OB appts on days that we were doing ultrasounds, and the 1 appt I had to check out 1st trimester bleeding. I figured I'd be needing him much more after the births than before when they were just listening to heart beats & checking my urine, BP, weight & measurement.

If there's no harm in him going, let him go. That being said, my husband has never gone to a regular appointment. The average first time mom doesn't have their baby until 41weeks 2 days, so most likely you won't go into labor for a while yet. Also, even if you were actually in labor, it almost always goes on for many hours (I knew I was in labor for 12 hours before I even went to the hospital). There's always a small chance that there will be some complication where the doctor wants to induce you after your appointment, but even when they tell you to "go straight to L&D" it takes hours to get there, get checked in, hooked up, drugs started, and for labor to begin (and then labor is many more hours), giving him plenty of time to get there.

To me, it would just be pointless for my husband to go, and he has commitments at work, so he doesn't go. When the baby comes, he will absolutely be there no matter what. But some peoples' jobs are flexible and their bosses really have no problem with them taking that time off. If that's the case, let him go. It will almost certainly be a let-down for him, but hey, he wants to be there! I always enjoy having my husband around, even if he doesn't NEED to be there. :)

I was there for my wife for the majority of her appointments through all 8 kids. It was tough when I was in the Army, but when I was in private industry, I had a boss that was supportive of me wanting to be with my wife for appointments and to be around her and the family when the kids were born. (This was before all of the federal laws letting a man be home with his wife when a child is born.) I used some of my vacation time and all of my sick leave, but I was there.

I was in the delivery room for all eight, except the first. The doctor was of the belief that the husband was to be walking the asiles rather than helping his wife through the birth process. So I walked in when the doctor had his hands full. ;~))

Riley J, you gotta watch those Mormon companies. They are all about home and family. They really support their employees and their families. I don't find it unusual that they would "push" your husband to be with his wife at that special time.

If your husband want to be there for your appointments, let him. It will do him good. One special thing you can do for your husband is to put your bare stomache in the small of his bare back when the baby is kicking. This is as close as he can come to feeling what you feel when the baby kicks inside. My wife and I didn't figure this out until we were having our 7th. It always felt special to me.

Good luck to you and yours.

I would think about if it was important to you....and him. My DH didn't attend the routine "Yup, you're pregnant" appointments. He went to the ultrasounds and anything important but any time he did want to come, he came. I would also let HIM decide how it impacts his work. If he can come, and you're only worried about his work, let him support you. I would express these concerns and find out what he's thinking vs telling him not to come because you are worried about his job.

With my first child, my husband came with me to every appointment. With the 2nd, he just came to.the ultrasound and the one where we heard the heartbeat for the first time. Tell him theres no need for him to leave work early unless he really wants to. They never really do much anyway. If something emergency happens, he can always come right there. Leave it up to him. Its cute hes so into it, my husband got pretty bored with the appointments, especially when they got to where they were every week.

My husband saved up all his time, then was with me for labor/birth and stayed home with us for a month.
We had no family near by and I don't know what I would have done without him.
Because he was saving up his time, he didn't come with me to most appointments.
You're at week 39 which means baby could come any time, or you could be waiting another 2-3 weeks.
As it is - most labors are not that fast.
Mine was 36 hours long, and my husband was great with fetching the ice chips and Popsicles.
I knew a guy at work who's wife knew it was going to be awhile so she told him to go out to dinner and come back to the hospital in a few hours rather than have him standing around worrying.
If anything happens and you need to head to the hospital, promise him you'll call him right away.
But for right now, he can finish up his work.

i can totally understand his excitement/nervousness/apprehension, etc. and it is not unheard of that you could, at 39 weeks, be told, "oh yeah, you're dilated enough/time to get this baby out, etc., but if this is a first baby, it is more likely that you won't be told this.

but i trust your instincts that your fiance should stay at work and not attend this one. after all, he has a child on the way (and almost here!) and in this economy, keeping a solid steady job, and impressing the boss to boot, is no small matter.

take your cell phone, tell him to have his on vibrate and in his pocket, and that you will call him from the examining room with a real-time update. also, remind him that wait-times for appointments at the obstetrician's office are unpredictable, and maybe even offer that if he wants he should meet you there AFTER work and you will do what you can to delay the appointment (let a few other women go before you), assuming that it is not the last scheduled appt time. perhaps it will be a busy day at the ob's office, and he'll still get to attend the appointment. But, I'm with you. Tell him how much you appreciate his support and excitement, but that you and the baby have other needs from him as well, particularly, that his job is steady and solid, and that it would give you peace of mind to know that he's taking care of that department.

Have a wonderful labor and delivery, whenever it is, and enjoy the family you are creating with this thoughtful man!