Did Your Husband or Signifgant Other Go with You?

No, why would he go? Short of the ultrasound, what was he going to do there. They are boring, well the heartbeat is pretty cool, but beyond that...?

If I could have avoided them I would have.

My hubby went to the sonogram ones and the births ... and when I was spotting at 5 months with my daughter, He met me there after a friend took me to the doctors office.

Other than that ... nope ... After the first one he was put to work keeping the child(ren) I wasn't pregnant with.

Whether you were lucky or unlucky is strictly a matter of perspective :) I was fine with my hubby not going with me. In fact he probably would have driven me bonkers if he went to every single one. I'd come home ... he'd ask "How'd it go" ... I'd say "everything is progressing as it should", maybe give him heart rate details and that would be the end of it. Had "the interrogator" gone with me ... gah ... not only would he have driven me batshit crazy ... my OB probably would have dumped me as a patient LOL

No one went with me to my first son's doctor apt.'s. I was a single mom.
When I got pregnant with my second and third child my husband only came with me to the ultrasounds.
There really isn't a reason for him to take off of work and lose money just to sit in the drs. office and listen to me answer some questions.
I find it amazing that so many dads go to prenatal aptmnts.

No, most of them were completely uneventful. I don't understand why women think it is so great for their husband to go to every visit. Do you drag him along for your annual pap? I am sure my husband is just pining away hoping I invite him to my mammogram! Nothing says love like watching your wife poked and squished! :p

He went for a couple of the ultrasounds, that was about all and that was about all I wanted him there.

No. My husband never attended any prenatal visits with me. I can't even imagine why he would. He doesn't go to any other doctor appointments with me. I didn't need an ultrasound. He did attend prenatal classes with me before the first baby and attended the hospital tour.

ETA: What does your husband do at the appointments? I like to read in the waiting room and if my husband was with me I'd feel like I needed to sit and make small talk or somehow keep him entertained. It's bad enough that with my second baby I had a two year old accompany me to every single appointment!

Normally, I was running to my visits in the middle of my work day, so, no, he didn't go to many, certainly not "all."

For my 2 miscarriages requiring D&Cs, he was there (after we knew there was an issue) for the confirmation of no heartbeat and subsequent hospitalization. In other words, he was there when it counted.

Can't imagine why other people's husbands or SOs not going would affect you in any way. If you need your husband there and he is--great. Otherwise, I don't see the big deal.

Here's a list of the doctor visits my husband went to:

PG1 - I was spotting at 6 weeks--he came with me for the ultrasound to check to see everything was ok. The next time he was with me at the doctor was at 36 wks, when our son was born via emergency c-section.

PG2 - He came to the 20 wk ultrasound, and took me to the ER one night when I was concerned when the baby wasn't moving very much.

PG3 - Came to the 20 wk ultrasound.

PG4 - He will only be there for the 20 wk and any emergencies.

I actually don't mind at all that he's not there. My appts never start on time, so he'd be missing too much work and would have to cancel some of his own patients to be there. Not worth it for me. I don't feel that he needs to be there for most of them.

He didn't but I certaintly don't feel unlucky. I'm perfectly capable. Don't need my husband to hold my hand for routine visits and make him spend 3 hrs driving back and forth in the middle of work. My husband has a senior position so him leaving disrupts too much. I'm surprised when women seem to need their husbands along for things when there is absolutely nothing for them to do. Such inefficiency would bother me.

He came to the ultrasounds. Why would I want him to come to a visit that is basically a Pap smear in terms of waiting, poking, checking? It's very nice that your SO came to all the stuff, but I would have felt bad making my husband sit in a waiting room and take time off for no real reason.

It is great that your husband is doing what you want him to do.

For me, it was no big deal. My husband was in sales and on the road a lot (up to 4 nights a week). I was perfectly fine taking care of myself and he knew that. It didn't mean he loved me or our baby any less.

Those appointments last about a whopping 5 minutes and there was no logical reason for him to be there unless there was an issue of course. Now when I had an issue and was in the ER and had 2 followups with a high risk Dr., of course he was there. Other than that, he was in labor and delivery.

Quite frankly I didn't want him at every visit. He also does not go with me for yearly paps and mammos either, ugh.

He is a very hands on great father and makes sure we are well taken care of all the time. We are blessed.

No, none, he was working.
I prefer to go alone, too.

My husband went to the fun ones. The ultrasounds. The rest I was happy to handle myself. They were so routine that I really didn't need him there. Pee check, weigh, listen to heart beat, how's the nausea, go on your way.

No...he was too busy WORKING!
I wasn't about to make all evening appointments, just so my husband could sit at the Ob Gyn for an hour and a half waiting for the doc to come back from a delivery at the hospital, just to hear the babies heart beat for 10 seconds and watch my belly get measured.
He was there when I got pregnant! He was there for all the ultrasounds! He was there for all the deliveries! Most importantly, he's there for our family!

Well as you know, our situation is difficult. Since these appointments can only be scheduled during business hours and since my husband's work sites are at minimum 45 minutes to an hour away from my dr's office and I can ONLY go during the mornings that both boys I nanny for are in school, it is quite difficult to coordinate him going to my appointments with me. Yes, he has time he could take off, but he is saving it for the birth and paternity leave afterwards, so he can be there when I REALLY need him. I just tell him about it and showed him the ultrasound pics when I got home and that was fine with me. I know it sounds odd that he hasn't been with me to any of them, but we are doing what we can because we don't have a lot of options of where we can go with my insurance and we both have limited time off work we can take. It's not that easy for everyone. He'll be there for the birth and with me home afterwards for a while, so that is all that matters to me.

Just wanted to add, that I too would not necessarily WANT him at every appointment with me anyway. First off, a waste of precious paid time off work, and secondly, he'd likely have to meet me there and that is a waste of gas money. I've always had a fairly independent streak too and actually thought nothing of going to the appointments on my own. It just never even occurred to me that it would be considered a big deal.

ETA: I am probably one of the rare ones whose husband was not at the 20-week ultrasound where I learned it was a girl, but I also had to go have the perinatologist do that one due to my being 37 and considered high risk since she was doing some extra check up for that. Her appointments were not easy to come by so I had to take what I could get and fitting it in with MY schedule was hard enough. Sure, I suppose it would've been nice for him to to be at that one, but it didn't bother me and it is no reflection on him as a person, husband or dad to be. He'd already used up a week of vacation for our honeymoon since we got married so close to this time frame as well and we knew we had to be conservative with his time off after that point. He's an amazing guy, great husband, and despite his anxiety over being a first-time dad (which I think is normal), I have no doubts he will be a wonderful dad as well. He loves me and cares me in the ways that matter most to me. And I think that's what it's really all about in the end for any of us :)

He was working and saving up his vacation/sick time so he could stay home with me when our son was born.
He was with me at the hospital and stayed home for 6 weeks afterward.
He took us to all our Dr appointments during that time and the hospital for bilirubin tests and he took such good care of us.
I don't know what I would have done without him.
Honestly - I needed him with me more once the baby was born than I did at prenatal appointments.

No, not unless there was something wrong. When I was past the due date with our first, he went with me for the non-stress tests. He went for the ultrasound appointment earlier on, also.
But for the regular pee-in-a-cup and get your blood pressure, and measure your uterus? Nope. No reason for him to be there. We were both adults and had jobs. He saves his leave for after the baby was born, when there was actually something he could do to help me.

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ETA: with our 2nd, I was a SAHM. So I was able to schedule most of my appts when he was not at work. But he still didn't come to most of them. He stayed home with our 2 year old, so I didn't have to deal with him at the doctor's office. He did drive me and come with a few early on, before my doctor prescribed Zofran. Because I was too sick to function on my own. But once I was up to driving again, he only came to the sonogram appt and then with me to the hospital to do the external version procedure to turn our breech daughter.

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ETA #2: Since you were so clear in your SWH, I must confess, that I am stunned that you know so many dads who haven't been to ANY of the prenatal appointments. Every woman I know with kids, and every dad I know (this generation--not my parents' generation) has been to at LEAST one. But most certainly NOT to MOST of them.

I'm surprised husbands go to ANY except the ultrasound or if something is wrong. We ended up choosing a home birth around seven months in my first pregnancy so of course he went to the first appointment with the midwife.

Prior to that I can't imagine having him come to the OBGYN office with me and wait for and hour or more only to have the doctor spend five minutes with me ask how I was doing, do a two minute exam and then rush on to her next patient.

Lucky? I consider myself lucky that I got the time alone with kid #'s 2 and 3! Once we had one, I didn't need or want him at every appointment, so I consider myself lucky that it wasn't doable for us.

My OB is 45 minutes away, so it takes an entire half day of work to go to an appointment. He was there for the first one for most of the appointments, but I was young and scared, so I wanted him there. With the other two, like I said, I cherished the quite time I got alone.

He went to the sonograms but not the normal doctor visits.
We talked about it but we both thought, why bother with BOTH of us using limited sick/vacation time from work for routine appointments.
We wanted to save our sick time.

I love my husband and he's a great dad, but did he want to go to all of my appointments? NO! And frankly, I didn't want him there. Waste of his time. Of course he came to the BIG sonogram appointment when we found out boy or girl. And he came to the special appointment I had in the middle of my first pregnancy when the doctor thought the baby wasn't growing. Otherwise, for the routine appointments? NO. Personally, I think that's silly.

My husband went to one. I seriously thought it was silly. I fit them in when I had a break during work and did not see any reason for company. I go to my other doctor's appointments myself. I have never volunteered to go DH's doctor's appointments. Now - he does do at least half of DS's doctor's visits as well as half of all his feedings (night time and daytime), changing and other care.

He only came to the ultrasound. The rest of the visits were pretty boring, I mean why would I want/need him there to watch me get weighed and hand over my pee in a cup?

No he did not go with me and the reson was simple, his job is not a leave for an hour or two kind of job. If he were to join me at an appointment he would have to take the day and that meant loosing out on at least 200 that week of pay. Sorry but going alone was better than loosing 200 with a baby on the way.

My sister and nephew, 11 at the time, came to my ultrasound because he was learning about these things in school and we thought it would be a cool experience for him ... he LOVED it. He actually got to do it again the following year because his mom was pregnant with his little brother.

Prenatal visits, are frequent.
Husbands who work, cannot take off and it depends on the office and Boss and their job.
With both my pregnancies, my Husband went to the ultrasound one to find out the gender and to my Amniocentesis appointments.
Other than that, I went by myself.
It did not bother me nor did I expect him to come with me.

He came to a couple of them with my first pregnancy, fewer with the second.

I honestly don't think he needed to attend my appointments on a regular basis. The first visit and the ultrasound that revealed the sex, sure, but otherwise I was happy to go alone.

He only came to the first one and the ultrasounds. Why would he need to go to the other ones? How boring, and what a waste of time off work.

With my first he went to a handful of them. With my second, I don't think he was able to come to any. Both times he was getting ready for a deployment so his ability to get away from work was limited. *shrug* He's not the type of guy to get super involved in that kind of thing, either. I'm okay with that. I knew who he was when I married him. He hasn't changed. :)

He went to the really important ones. The other ones, I told him to stay home. I was SO sick and high risk my pregnancy, I was literally at the doctor 3-4 times a week.

We didn't want him to eat through his vacation time, for 9 months of visits. I imagine, that's the same situation for most women. Remember, it's not about WANT...but CAN'T. Most men can't, and that has nothing to do with if they want to. Most don't want to, and I completely understand. It's boring. There wife is getting their lady bits checked out, they are getting poked and prodded, and really...what's the point? It's completely uneventful. I wouldn't be surprised, at all...if your husband wasn't as eager as he let on. Lucky, has nothing to do with it. There are AMAZING husbands who don't go to any appointments, and crappy ones who go to all.

My husband came to the ultrasounds. Frankly, I didn't even think to invite him to the other ones. I just took care of it, plus (for my first) I scheduled them during the work day when it best suited my work schedule and (for the second) I again scheduled them when it was convenient for me. Didn't even think to try to coordinate his work schedule. Both my pregnancies were uneventful, so I didn't see the need - he was happy to get the report each time that everything was going well :)

My guy works in the middle of the Sound on a boat. He wouldn't be able boat in, in the middle of the day (and he's certainly not going to swim in!), and we can't afford him taking off work. So, he works while I get to ham it up with my midwife. He'll get to come to the 20 week ultrasound and, once I'm closer to the end, he'll come in for a few appointments so that he can get to know the midwives again. :-)

Heck no! I was self-conscious enough without my husband watching that big black weight bar click over to the next slot! ...lol... He did attend Bradley classes and met with our doula once or twice for our second. He just wasn't very interested in the pregnancy part, beyond helping me stay comfortable and healthy. I think that, for some men, there is some truth to the saying that a mom becomes a mom when she finds out she is pregnant but a dad becomes a dad when the baby is born. I know it wasn't "real" for my husband until they were born.

Nope.

He came to 2 (ultrasound & later when my OB / midwife GENTLY read him the riot act for trying to get me to exercise on modified bedrest).

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I have/had a friend who is a surrogate, and is pregnant every other year. She brings her laptop so that the biological parents (invitro 100% not her DNA, embryos are all fertilized in a lab and implanted) can be at every apt via Skype they wish to. Only about half choose to, about half the time.

i would be beyond annoyed if my husband wanted to attach himself to me for every single appointment.
he came and saw sonograms. but he needed to work, and thank all the gods he's not a guy who looks for reasons not to do so.
khairete
S.

No there was no reason for him to miss over an hour of work so that he could come to a 5 minutes appt. He came for the ultrasounds but that's it.

Mine went to the sonogram visits. I agree with most. I didn't see the need for him to come to the other routine visits.

My husband went to the initial one, the appt where we heard the heartbeat and the ultrasound. Any more than that would have been too difficult to schedule. I think we were both comfortable with when he was/was not there.

yes my husband went to every single one with both of our kids :)

Nope..... he was working..... we never really considered it.... that was 30 years ago, though.. (my kids were born in 82, 84, 86, and 91...)

The important ones. For many of them "yup, you weigh more and are measuring fine" there was no reason for him to take time off work, IMO. I wouldn't have minded, but I wanted him to save his leave time for after the baby was born. He was there for all the ultrasounds and took 2 weeks off when she was born.

My husband attended sonograms and glucose testing. There was no need for him to attend anything else because not every appointment is a big deal. If there were complications, he was there for those of course, but not for the routine stuff.

No - for us it would have been a complete waste of time and money as he doesn't get paid time off from work, plus we would have paid for gas and parking for two cars instead of one as we would have been coming from different directions. He came to the 18 week u/s and met me at the hospitial when I had some bleeding with one but that was it. When I was a surrogate the dad came to all of our appointments but that was because this was going to be the only pregnancy they would ever experience and they had been waiting 5 years for this so it was an exceptionally special time for them. But for routine pregnancies, I don't see the point. I would have been annoyed if my husband showed up for every appointment. I'd prefer that he just go to work and leave the routine appointments to me. We didn't have time for him to waste sitting there every month (or two weeks at the end).

Yes. My husband went to as many as he could. I was on bed rest for the last 2 months of my pregnancy with our first, so he was at every appointment.

With our second? Again, as many as he could be. We tried to schedule them for first AM or last afternoon to help since my husband commuted via metro for work.

He went to three total....two with our first and one with our second...

The big find out the gender ultra sound on both and the very first hear the heart beat one for the first.

We saved his time off for after the birth...we figured why waste it on getting weighed, measured and questioned.

Went with me for 3 visits for first and second. None for the third, other than the one sono. I got to the point where I really wanted just to go by myself.

He came to the ultra sounds and the Amnio, but other then that no.

My husband traveled quite a bit for work when I was pregnant with my daughter, but when he was in town and was able, he tried to make as many appts as he was able. Still wasn't as many as I would have liked, but he did make a few. I was a high-risk pregnancy, so he was quite concerned and wanted to make sure both I and the baby were okay.

You are very lucky your husband was able and willing to be with you at your appts!

With our first, he went along to every one. With the second, he only went to the ultrasound, and I was okay with that. At that point, we had another child at home and he needed to stay with her!

my husband came to the ultra sound for the first baby. other than that if he was off work yes if not then no. I don't think he came to any at all with the last baby lol. i remember going for the ultra sound with son #4 and had the other 3 kids with me. they were pretty excited but hubby didn't go. he was however in with me for all the labor and delivery stuff

I've had a total of 4 children. I believe my husband went to a grand total of 2 appointments. I just don't see why anyone else would need/want to go.

Nope. I went to all of mine and with all of my kiddos with me. I took them to ultrasounds, blood draws, prenatal's etc. I wish my husband could have gone, but he had to work. It wasn't worth it to me to have him miss his work to be with me at an appt.

He did come to the ultrasound to find out boy/girl though :)

Yes, every one of them.
And he did it with bells on.
He was great about questions. I would get there and be amazed at what his concerns were. I also think it helps to have the doctor reassure him, the baby and I were doing just fine.

We are having a baby due in April. I am going to a high risk ob that is almost an hour away one way. My husband has offered to come with but financially it would not make sense. I would rather have him use his time off once our baby is here. It was the same with our other two. Each appointment is pretty standard. The only ones he came with were the initial appointment when we found out we were pregnant and the ultrasound.

It is not that he doesn’t want to be involved; my husband is very involved father and I am very fortunate.

With our first, he went to most of them. With our second, not as many, but he went to the important ones. He certainly went to the ultrasounds. With the first child we found out what we were having then, and I'm glad we were together.

Dawn

With the first one, he went to all of them. With #2, he just came to the heartbeat, sonogram and hospital tour. He was home watching baby number 1, who was 2 yo at the time. With the first pregnancy, we were both nervous, but with the second, I didnt see the need for him to come to watch them measure my stomach with a tape measure every week. I didnt even really want to go. I think a lot of those appointments are just for then to make extra money, they seemed dumb to me.

Yes, my husband came along to most of my appointments. I made the appointments at a time most convenient to his work.

Well, I was special (wink to Jo!) in that we had midwives who did housecalls b/c they were moving their clinic. Husband was working during most of those...

He went with me to both ultrasound visits, though (at an associate doctor's). He was so excited, esp. at the 20 week one, where we found out Kiddo's gender. He also attended all of the 'couples' sessions of the birthing classes the midwives held. And was a solid rock for me in labor-- I am so glad he was actively involved in the birth. He could remember things for me I was too far gone in laborland to remember.

My hubby only goes to the second level ultrasound at 20 weeks, and then he will go the last 3-4 weeks. My hubby then takes two weeks off, even though I labor naturally and am up and about within days. He loves babies and he loves being able to bond when baby is born.

We are fortunate that he is upper management and can set his own schedule.

Only the first one, where we were able to hear the heartbeat, then the amnio/ultra-sound. Other than that, they were pretty uneventful anyway.

MY husband went to almost all of my prenatal visits when I was pregnant with my first. With my second he went to the confirmatory visit, the 18-20 week ultrasound, and the two before I gave birth. With the first I care a lot whether or not he went - with my second not so much.

my fiance went to all of my appointments that i got ultrasounds..and then my last couple because i was so gigantic he didnt want me driving

Almost every single one...I think there was a couple in the beginning of pregnancy #3 that I went to with my sister? #3 was the one and only girl and my sister was SO excited, she kinda took over there for a minute!

When our first was growing, yes, he was there at every one. This second round he wasn't, he had to wrangle our 6 year old. They were both there for the ultrasounds and a few heartbeat checks, but that's about it.

Mine just came to one, pretty late in my pregnancy - the midwife wanted to meet him once at least before birth, otherwise he would not have come at all. He is honestly grossed out by anything medical, he (and I in retrospect) also wishes he had not attended the birth of DD. Even ultrasound pictures gross him out!
I guess some people just can't handle it..

He's a great dad though...so once she was born and past the newborn stage he was fine.

My hubby went to the ultrasound appts for both children.
I really didnt need him at any of the other appts and he is construction so to leave for an hour or two would have disrupted his and his crews whole day.
I do know that if i said i wanted him to go he would have.
Many blessings

My husband came if I was getting an ultrasound, but didn't come otherwise. I didn't mind and didn't really think there was much point to him being there.

No. He didn't. He had a job and wanted to save all vacation time for the time of the birth. I really don't see the point of men going to routine appointments. It isn't like they are missing out on much.

With my first, he attended one sonogram. He attended a few sonograms with the second.

With our first, my husband went with me to many of the appointments. We both worked so I scheduled evening appointments.

With the second and third, he only went to the 20 week ultrasounds so we could find out the gender.

He went to the ultrasounds to find out the sex with my first, third and fourth. Can't remember why he didn't go to the second, but I'm pretty sure that he didn't. I never really wanted him to go with me- there was no point.

yes my ex went to every one BUT only because the first time i was pregnant he went to the ultrasound and then I went in for my 12 week alone and found out i miscarried and I was stuck there alone and then almost passed out (someone laid M. down right before) had to walk home after finding out alone.
I was high risk with Emmy so he went to every one. If I hadnt had that first sittuation and wasnt high risk I dont think he wouldve went to all of them

My husband came to the initial sonogram/and finding out the sex sonogram. He worked in RI and I commuted an hour to work in Ma. My Dr. was in MA, too, so it made attendance difficult.

I went to almost all of my appointments alone. DH went to 16 week (I think?) sonogram appointment for sure & maybe one other one, although I'm not really sure on that. He met me at the hospital when I went into pre-term labor at 26 weeks. DD was born at 37 weeks. I don't really remember wanting him at my appointments. For me, it's a little weird having DH in the room when another person is looking up your hoo-ha.