Separation Anxiety with Going to Sleep.

I think the stalling is normal. My three year old tries it, but we just make sure we have covered all bases before laying down- go to bathroom, drink of water, all stuff animals are in the bed, noses are blown, etc. If he asks for anything else, we just say firmly "No, it's sleep time- all done!". Then we say good night, do our kisses, and walk out. Occasionally, we do let him have a little toy radio that plays nursery rhymes. That helps him get to sleep on some nights where he is feeling especially restless. Once he is asleep, we go in and take it out of his bed. Also, we bought this thing called the Glow Mate (at BabiesRUs). It is a nightlight that has a soft, soothing led glow that changes colors which he looks at until he falls asleep.
As for your second problem- what time do you put him down for bed? Too late of a bedtime will cause nightwaking and restless sleep as he may be overtired. If his bedtime is reasonable (say between 7-8), then I would suggest moving his bedroom around. Ask him where he wants the bed to be, and where other furniture should go. Once the bedroom is "his" he may be more likely to stay in his room at night and be more comfortable there. If he is a light sleeper, and you suspect house noise could be waking him, then I would suggest getting a white noise machine. Those things are excellent in drowning out house noise and the things that go bump in the night. I couldn't live without ours!

Hi A.,

A few quick answers and then a longer one:
No your son is not sleep walking. Yes, he does go to sleep on his own. You described a few examples of how he does this.

Your son is just interested in being with you. Since you have allowed it to happen, he is still enjoying this experience. It sounds like you and your husband have both decided that you do not want it to happen anymore. If so, then you also need to express this clearly to your son. He won't know unless you spell it out.

There are many ways to go about this conversation, but it should be matter-of-fact, compassionate, and showing interest in his response. You can explain that you love to snuggle with him, but it needs to happen during daylight or day time. Once it's nighttime he needs to snuggle. . . (fill in the blank w/ whatever snuggly he has).

I have recently written a bedtime series. You can find it here: http://www.childperspective.com/nighttime-parenting/quiet.... Take a look and read through the various posts. I think you'll find the different strategies to be easy to understand and replicate.

Keep me posted on your progress!

E.
http://www.childperspective.com

My 2 year old started stalling not to long ago. Any excuse under the sun to not be lying down and going to bed. She also would get out her bed in the middle of the night and come climb into my bed. I thought this was sweet until the night that she did it 6 times between midnight and 4 a.m. I put up a gate on the outside of her door. Every once in a while I'll hear her open her door and sigh when she sees the gate, but then she closes her door and climbs back into her own bed where she promptly falls back asleep. This only happens once every few days which is a major improvement over the several times a night she was doing it before. Hopefully it won't be long before we can take the gate down so she can get to the potty at night when she needs it! I hope you figure something out so you all get more sleep at night.

Just a thought- try adding a good night prayer to your bedtine routine. It may give him that little bit of peace he is lacking to sleep well.
Blessings!