Separation Anxiety - Key Largo,FL

Staying with his dad or grandparents is NOT the same thing as leaving him with a bunch of strangers (to him). He will be fine leaving him with his own relatives... prob. cry a little after you leave, but he knows these people.
If I was you, I would just enjoy having him home. This time goes by way to fast, and before you know it, they are up and gone, and you wished you had spent more time with them when you had it. :)
I know you need a break...take them, but leave him with family, who are going to have a genuine interest in him, and love all over him!...and he won't be just another number in the classroom.
I have three kids of my own....been there, done that for a short time, and wished I hadn't. It's not worth it. :)

I don't think he will suffer if you start him in preschool but I also know that it is not necessary that you start him on school this early. Many parents think they are doing a huge favor for their children by starting him in school early. Studies, and my own personal experience, show that it does not make them any smarter or any better prepared in the long run. Keep him at home for another year or two. Preschool is necessary for some children who don't get the mental stimulation at home that is necessary for growth, but I am sure you are giving plenty of that to him. Let him be a kid for another year or two. He has his whole life to go to school, then to work, give him a chance to be your baby and experience things with you while he is still so very young.

You may need some transition time to get him adjusted. Would the center allow you to stay with him for awhile and then leave for like an hour and then come back to reassure him that you'll be back. Then maybe the next day stay a shorter time and then come back and have lunch with him. He is anxious that you might not come back. Also, is there a way to observe without him knowing?

When I would drop my kids off at the Church nursery I would stay in the hall and peak if they were fussing at first. I would stay until they were settled down, which helped me. At different times some of my kids went through an anxious time and I would stay with them but would leave for a short time and come back. If I said I would be back in 5 minutes, I was back in 5 minutes, if I said 15 or 30 minutes I would return to reinforce that I would come back. This took some time but they eventually adjusted.

Have you ever done playgroups with your son so he has had a chance to play with/near other kids? Or just a park playdate with another mom. Some kids are introverts and don't like being with big groups. It overwhelms them. My son was like that. I found if I could get there early so that he was there and then gradually others arrived it didn't seem to overwhelm him.

You may need to explore your feelings some more. You sound like you would like to get out on your own for short periods but feel conflicted. If this isn't the right situation for your son maybe you could look into other options. Perhaps a family day care where there are only 5 kids in someones home. Or could you train up a mother's helper, like a teenager,to come and play with your son while you are home. If you could find a 12 year old to train up, you would have a babysitter later on that perhaps your comfortable with.

You also need to help your husband feel confident with your son so you can go out occasionally. Discuss with him some strategies for your son and you hubby to bond. Could he take him in the backyard to play for a bit while you pop out. Or could he take him to the park? I would encourage you to find a way here because you don't want your husband to have a lack of confidence in this area. Be sure to give him affirmations when he does do something with your son and things go well. We as moms have to give our husbands some slack sometimes. Remember they are not us and they shouldn't be expected to do things exactly the way we do.

Well enough from me...
Take care and good luck,
LaurieK
www.mymonavie.com/LaurieK

I know how hard it can be, and frustrating for you, but I think your son will get used to the daycare. It will be really difficult for him at the beginning, but little by little he will get use to their activities, and soon he will enjoy it... give him time to adjust, trust me he will soon be playing and having fun with the other kids....
My daughter also cried for a while, but after I was gone she was up and playing with all the kids... She would only cry for 5 minutes when I dropped her off... I also change her routine everyday ( woke her up a bit earlier and have breakfast some place close to school, or do little kids exercise with her before getting her dress, one day I would give her a bath before heading to school, and like that I tried many many things, In other words I kept her busy, busy, and did not give her lots of time to think . Also when she would ask, I always told her, that no matter what, she had to be in school, even if she cried, soon she understood, and never cried again....

Good afternoon! Been there, done that - with my now 9 year old boy and 4 year old girl. I was firm and kind when I left them, telling them that this is one of those 'have to' things that comes with growing up. And I reassured that I'll be back very soon to get them. It lasted a LONG while with my son - getting less and less everytime I left him. And the crying only lasted about 2 weeks with my 4 year old.

I always made a point to ask questions about their day when I picked them up. Asked what their favorite part was. Also, with our son, we made 'love stones' out of flour and salt. Before we baked them to dry, each of us - mom, dad and son - put kisses and love into them. He would pick one out each morning and stick it in his pocket. Anytime during the day that he missed us, he would hold his stone in his hand for comfort.

As a stay at home mom AND parenting coach, I can tell you that it always seems a little harder on our kids that have had the luxury of being at home with mom. But, kids are incredibly resilient!

I hope this helped!

Hey there
I am a single mom with 3 children, 19, 9 and 6. And I went thru that with my oldest and my youngest. I just had to let them cry it out. It broke my heart and I hated doing it - but I think once they get thru they're ok. If you have someone that is very caring and understanding that helps. I know that when my oldest started pre school (he's 19 now) he cried for a MONTH! But, one of the teachers was very sweet and she would hold him as long as she could. So hang in there and talk to him about all the fun he;s going to have and its only for a little while and mommy will be back soon.

AND IT ALSO HElPS TO PRAY A LOT!
Good luck!
A. J. Noll

Hi G.. First, I'm sorry you and your son are having such a tough time with separation at school. As I am sure you know, you aren't alone. My daughter had a really hard time adjusting to preschool when she was two. We were blessed to be at a school that encourages parents to be a part of the separation process while the kids are transitioning. I spent a good 3 weeks in and out of my daughter's classroom at school before she was ready to go the whole 3 hours without me. Then and now she has a very positive attitude when it comes to school and she LOVES going. She's almost 4 now. She actually got upset with me for picking her up early the other day (that broke my heart a little). In my opinion, 2-year-olds are still so young and they are supposed to be attached to us. What a wonderful connection you must have with your son! Discuss that even though mommy leaves she will always come back- ALWAYS! Talk about the fun things he gets to do at school. Focus on the positives with him. Still, NO oNE knows your son better than you so I really believe that only you know if he's ready or not. Do what your "mommy intuition" tells you and you'll have no regrets. Best of luck! -A.

G.,

I went through the same thing with my youngest son. He wanted nothing to do with anyone but me. However, you do need to do it. It is hard. It has taken several (three and a half to be exact) for my son to come around at daycare. I am a SAHM as well and I put him daycare so that I could do things during the day and get things done around the house. He will eventually get to a place on his own it will take a little time you just have to be strong and let him work through it.

Good luck.

S.
SAHM of 3 boys

i agree with the woman who stated that he will probably be fine with family, but not with strangers at day care. Enjoy having him at home with you while you can - that's why we had kids - to be with them and raise them ourselves.

Your child will NOT suffer if you don't put him in preschool. I have never understood the cry it out method that so many parents feel they need to do to their babies. He is a LITTLE boy and right now he wants his Mom! What is more natural than that? Personally I think you should pull him out and enjoy your time together. In time he will seperate from you without all the trauma!

Hi SAHM,

It will be hard for the both of you for a while, but definately not for long. I didnt have a problem with my daughter but my nephew was the same as your son. It took him about a week and he got used to the idea of school and is having a blast...keep it up... he will be fine.