Seniors in High School

What are her plans? Going away? Living at home while attending local university or community college? If the plan is to go away to college, maybe she isn't ready for that big step at this point and perhaps you should steer her toward a local school where she can continue to live at home.

I agree with Jennifer. I teach high school seniors, and senior year can be overwhelming for them. Our counselors are wonderful at helping students to figure out exactly what they need to be doing when. I would start there and see if it will help her figure out a game plan and ease some of her stress. Good luck!

Our daughter is now a junior in College. She did not want me to help her with her choices. She did ask that I help her gather her information for her college resume and all of our financial information.. She and I attended College information nights at her high school and the large college events held here in town to see as many college reps as she wanted..

I did not think I would ever be able to get her to write her College essay, but one night she sat down for about 10 minutes and all of a sudden asked, "what do you think of this?".. I read it and realized it was her essay! It was hysterical..

I had told her I had read an article about the people that read the college essays and what they are looking for. It stated they get tired of reading these essays about "changing the world" "about "how their religion has inspired them", unless they were planning on going to religious schools to preach.. It said they were looking for essays about the actual student and what it is like to be them. To be a teen, where they fit in or do not fit in.. that type of thing..

We did not go on ANY college visits until she had been accepted. She did not want to have her heart set on a school and then not be accepted. Plus we just did not have the money to /or time to go to all of them.. FYI.. Our daughter wanted to go out of state, so she only applied to one in state college.. We did this because we had a friend that was a freshman at TULANE when Katrina hit.. He would have missed out on his freshman year if he had not already also been accepted to the University of Texas.. We had another friend who's daughter became very ill her freshman year with mono.. Since she was accepted to college here at the University of Texas, she was able to transfer there for the rest of her freshman year and live at home during recovery..

Our daughter ended up applying and was accepted to all 9 of her college choices.. We then based her visits on which schools were her top choices and which offered the most financial help to her.. So none of the visiting part took place till the spring..

When your daughter fills out her FAFSA forms.. that will allow the colleges to see what she qualifies for scholarships, grants and student loans.. Make sure you have your 2009 tax information available and then ASAP get your 2010 taxes done so you can update this info.. Do this together with your daughter.. She needs to know all of this, because EACH year SHE will have to update this information for the following school year. She will be sent the requests because she will be of legal age.

She is totally freaked out and this is not unusual. Remember unless she is applying for early admission, most applications are not due till the middle or end of January.

What she will need.
A high school resume covering all 4 years.. Include interest, education, clubs, sports, work, volunteering, church service.. all of this type of thing.

Recommendation letters from 2 to 3 teachers. (get her to o these ASAP),, it takes some teachers FOREVER to do these or they only accept a few students. Remember to have your daughter write a thank you note to these teachers, I also gave gift cards to nice restaurants to these teachers once they gave the letters to our daughter.

She will need your financial information to fill out the FAFSA.. this can all be filled out online.

Have her get other information through the "College Board".. They are the people that gave her the SAT.. This can be done online..

Also make sure she is going to any information sessions held at her school for different colleges.. They really do help..
PM me if you have any questions.

My daughter was the same, and she asked me one day the summer before her senior year if it was "mandatory" that she go straight to college. I said she could do what she felt would work for her (I saw no point in forcing her to go, I figured she would just hate it and quit anyway if her feelings were so strong), and she came up with volunteering (through Americorp - like the Peacecorp but in the states) for a year before going to college. Once she made that decision, the stress totally was relieved, and she still looked at colleges during her senior year, but waited to apply until the next year. Most kids in England take a "gap" year between high school and college to work, travel or volunteer (that is the "norm" over there). Perhaps this is something your daughter could think about doing?

I went through kind of the same thing as your daughter many years ago. I was very apathic about the whole process - I didn't do any college visits, applied for no scholarships (although I'm sure I would have gotten some). Needless to say, I ended up going to a huge university and did horribly. Looking back, I can honestly say I only went because I thought it was expected of me. I would encourage her to try community college first. She can transfer to a university any time she wants and I think it's an easier transition.

Have you met with her counselor to discuss various options? My daughter and I just met with her counselor a couple of weeks ago. The counselor had all sorts of information and suggestions.

My daughter is fairly motivated and knows (or thinks she knows) what she wants to do so I am just helping guide her but leaving a lot of the work up to her.

On the other hand, my son had no clue what he wanted to do when he first graduated. He took about 6 months and just worked after graduation, then decided to enlist in the Air Force.

She may just need some space and time to figure out what she wants to do. Help her understand what her options are and then give her time to figure it out. I'd put the responsibility on her, if she misses a deadline then she misses a deadline and she will have to deal with the reality of what that means. If it is important to her she will eventually figure it out. Immediately going off to college the fall after graduation isn't always what every teen needs to do.

I agree if she is "not ready" for the larger campus, university, that a community college might be best for her.

She should be responsible with checking her email, meeting deadlines.

Senior year is fun, exciting, scary and all kinds of emotions rolled together. I am sure for many kids, they are overwhelmed.

Our daughter is almost 16 and we are actively visiting colleges at this point. It is something she love planning and preparing for.

All kids are different.... be there for her to help her through it.

Hi K.,
The previous posters are right. Every child (and they ARE children) is different. It can be an ENORMOUS amount of pressure.

I just got one successfully off to the 'right' college and I have a junior as well, so the process is starting all over again, with a VERY different kid, with VERY different needs.

The first one is the brilliant slacker. But frankly the paperwork alone is so daunting, I struggled with it myself and it occured to me that there is NO teenager in the WORLD who could handle this process themselves. So yes, I DID keep on top of things for him, I DID occasionally have to NAG him about deadlines (whenever I did, he would threaten to Just Go To Community College Then! as if this were the WORST thing that could happen to me as a parent, sigh).

Incredibly, we pulled it off together, now he is there and thriving so of course I'm VERY glad I helped/intervened/nagged/contacted people MYSELF that he should've been doing.

What I did share repeatedly with him, my junior, my neice who is also a junior, and any other kid who'll listen....

College is NOT the law. It is NOT like high school in ANY way. A college student is a PAYING CUSTOMER, you are buying a product. You are there because you CHOOSE to better yourself. The teachers are NO LONGER the BOSS. YOU are the BOSS.

I have a lot more savvy this time around.
I also know a lot of the reccomended things we didn't do did not really effect the out come.

I guess you know her best (in fact you know her better than she does), you know (or can guess) how successful she'll be in any given college setting. So you can't drag her kicking and screaming off to college (like you can to kindergarten, tehehe), you CAN help with the leg work, you CAN paint a desirable picture of college life, you CAN be in contact with her GC everyday, you CAN encourage her, cheer for her, nag her....

But ultimately it's HER decision, sigh.
Good Luck!
:)