Hi Moms,
We are re-sleep training our 8 1/2 month old. The first round was just shy of six months and went very well. After three days she would sleep 7:30-5 dream feed, back to sleep then wake at 6-6:30. And throughout the process, she never cried more than 15 minutes. With developmental leaps forward, and I'm sure some fix it quick laziness on my part, she is having trouble sleeping through the night. The goal is to get her back to a 5 am wake up and then eliminate it. Last night was our first night, she woke up at 11:50, which she has never done. I swear, we shouldn't have had the conversation about it in front of her, she knew it was coming. It took two hours to get her back to sleep lying down. (We used a combo of Ferber and Weissbluth methods. We would let her cry and then my husband would go in and talk to her at increasing intervals). At one point I think she fell asleep standing. She DEFINITELY slept for twenty minutes sitting up before we laid her down. I suspect that developmental leaps forward have complicated this. She crawls and stands. She doesn't always know how to sit down once she stands and when tired, it's even more difficult for her. Apologies for rambling, I guess my question is, have any of you tried initial sleep training at this age or a second dose? Part of me wants to hold off on training until she passes this developmental stage, but I realize, she'll just be hitting another milestone once she gets through this one. We do put her down to sleep awake at night and she falls asleep fairly easily. She does not take a bottle. I breastfeed but put her asleep while still awake. Middle of the night and naps are impossible. Any advice or war stories welcome.
Thank you!
Liz
Sleep training does not work for every child. If the goal is optimal health and sleep, then I would suggest co-sleeping and nursing on demand so that you know her brain is getting the critical nutrients it needs when it needs it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Co-sleeping
Your child is a unique individual, doing her best to communicate her needs to you. Throw out the books and listen to her instead.
You definitely need to do something now and not wait. The older she gets, the harder it will be. I used the CIO method and it was a miracle for us. For both my girls, when they were 5 mos. and 6 mos. old (they are 4 years apart). It only took them one night, crying of 1/2 hour. One woke in the middle of the night and cried for just a few seconds, then seemed to remember she CAN go to sleep on her own, so she went back to sleep. My doctor recommended this. It was the best advice I have ever gotten. My girls are older now and are totally normal, smart, and nothing detrimental happened to them, contrary to what some people think about this method! Good luck!
I have no good advice on the sleep training (my 13 month old still wakes up 1 to 3 times a night to feed / connect) but I wanted to mention that my son also went nuts-o during developmental milestones. Waking up 1 time a night became 3 or 4 times a night as he learned to roll over, crawl, walk. The good news is, they seem to master these new skills pretty quickly, and the upheaval only ever lasted about 2 weeks. Of course, those 2 weeks felt like 2 months, but that is a different story!
Good luck, happy crawling, and happy sleeping.
E....you didnt say much about your bedtime routine with her but I know for my two boys routine was everything and once you set it...you cant break it. Make sure for dinner you are giving her good solid food thats going to keep her full. We always used sweet potatoes at that age. Our bedtime routine takes about 45 minutes. We take a bath and play in there for 15 minutes...they then would get a bottle of milk for 15 minutes...and then they would play for 15 minutes...a quick story in their rooms and then bedtime. We would lay them down, give them their pacifier, cover them with a soft blanket, tell them we loved them, gave them a kiss and would leave the room. At nearly 2 they now know this is the routine and we dont get much fights. Everyonce in awhile one will still wake, but we just go in and make sure everything is okay put them back to bed the same way. Sometimes they cry...but we would only go in 5 min later...then 10 min after that if it persisted then 15 min after that if it still persisted. Rarely has it ever been that long. My boys would usually stay in bed for 12 hours (still do and they are almost 2). If shes waking at 5am...is she hungry or just wants to play? Is she tired still? Does she have windows that the sun shines into in the early morning? If shes hungry then...you have to feed her...she wont go back to sleep and relook at what you gave her the night before...maybe she needed to eat more food (or maybe shes just going through a growth spurt and needs additional food). If shes tired adn not hungry this is the time she needs to learn we go back to sleep when we are tired. If you find that the sun is entering her room and makign it bright I would highly suggest buying some block out curtains or shade for her room. Mine will wake up with the sun if its too bright...so we have installed these and it makes a big difference. But def...pick a sleep strategy...and just stick with it and let her know...this is what happens.
Hi Karen,
Your sweetie pie little girl has got you wrapped around her finger, which my children did too. Try the Sleep Lady Book...it worked for me and my little ones. :)
The older they get, the more stubborn they can be! It's definitely the development that's throwing her off right now, so it will pass and you can get through it. We re-sleep trained around 9 months. It was hard, but it worked. He cried for an hour the first night (with us checking on him and reassuring him), then only 10-15 minutes the next night and 2 minutes on the third night.
If she stands herself up and gets stuck, definitely lie her back down ASAP so she understands that it is time to lie down and sleep.
At this age, unless she is a really tiny girl (less than 15 lbs or so), there is no physical need for her to eat at 5 a.m. You should be able to get 11 - 12 hours of straight sleep without eating. If you're re-training, you should probably just eliminate that feeding altogether, rather than making two separate adjustments.
Hello I wish I had the magic answer. I think you have answered it yourself. During each developmental stage there always seems to be a disruption in sleep, eating, and moods. I just roll with it. As soon as I have had enough my two year sleeps wonderfully again for no apparent reason. I am like you always looking for the reason. They are just little people growing up and can not always express themselves. I know it is frustrating as a parent especially when you are sleep deprived, but hang in there it does get better and as you know it is so worth it.
I am a forty-one year old stay at home Mom with a two year son and an eighteen year old daughter. Talk about never getting sleep!!! It was easier all the years I worked in restaurant management at least when my 14 hour day was done I could crash! Good Luck!
We had to re-sleep train around 9 months too, due to our travel-for-work schedule that impacted our son's bedtime routine every other weekend. The key to making this work is 2 weeks of pure consistency. If it were me, I would cut the 5 am feeding along with re-training her for sleep. At 4 months our pediatrician said that our son's stomach is big enough to sustain him through the night and that a 5 am wake up is just a routine that we can break. Her suggestion was to wait 20 minutes during nighttime wakings, and sure enough, our son would fall back asleep after about 10 minutes.
The key is setting up a routine for going to sleep and sticking to it. A bath, bottle, books, and then put her in bed awake. Then do the Ferber intervals if she cries. If you're consistent, it'll work in a few days. It's harder at 9 months than at 6 months... somehow their cries are a lot more expressive! But stick it out & it'll work. My husband and I would take "Ferber shifts" through the night, so we'd at least get some sleep in the first few days. I'd take the 9-2 am shift, and he'd take 2am - 7am if there were any wakings.
I hope you start getting some rest!
Yes, been thru this, too. My son is 15 months old and we first trained him at 6 1/2 months. He's a great sleeper most of the time now. (night time was a dream but naps are often a struggle) My advice is, remember that helping your child learn to sleep is a constantly winding road. Milestones, teething, bad dreams, traveling, house guests, ect. ect. will throw off a good nights sleep and naps. Be compassionate at these times and give your baby the extra attention and cuddling that she needs. Then you can be more firm with the rules to guide her back to a regular schedule. Yes, there will be times when it seems like there is always an excuse to put it off. Once she gets past standing proficiently, you can focus more on sleeping, then she'll master walking, then a molar will come in... Just keep coming back to more firm sleep training when she's ready. Soon she'll 'get' that a regular sleep schedule is the norm, and is what is expected of her, AND that when she needs extra support and a little compassion she will get that from her parents, too.
The other day my son woke up from sleep crying and I thought, oh, here we go, he's protesting, and started 'check-ins'. 15-20 minutes later I noticed at a check in that his hands were in his mouth and realized he was cutting a tooth. My baby was in pain! Then I dropped my 'rules' and went right in, picked him up and gave him some medicine, read some books, and put him back to sleep later.
It's a marathon, not a sprint!
Blessings!
J.
I highly recommend the Ferber method, it worked for us when nothing else did.
Oh Liz... My daughter is 11 months old and we are on our 3rd round. Just like you she did great until she learned to stand. My advice to you is stick to it and eventually our little ones will get it. Our daughter does not wake in the middle of the night much but when she does we dont let her CIO. I because I am worried about my neighbors for some reason. But naps I am just now starting and she is doing better each time.
Good luck!!
S
