Seeking Sleep Advice for 6 Month Old

Hi, J.,

My son was an awesome sleeper, all through the night by 3 months. Still a great sleeper at age 4.5.

My daughter didn't sleep through the night consistently until she began walking at 13 months, that was 3 months ago. Hang in there, we thought we had tried it all. But she just needed to be tired enough from walking to sleep all night.

All kids are different!

H.

Hi J.,
Here is advice from the Mayo Clinic. I hope you find it helpful.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/baby-sleep/FL00118
K.

You are going to get advice that is all over the board. Do remember that the most important thing is that you do what works for your family. Personally, I think sleeping for 4-6 hours for 6 month old is pretty good. I have 3 children, 1 slept through the night at 4 months...her twin brother didn't sleep through the night until he was almost 2!! Their little sister didn't sleep through the night until she was 14 months (and often woke every 3 to 4 hours). I tried every method under the sun, including letting them cry (I was desperate for sleep...didn't work for me and was very stressful, but I do know it does work for some). After 3 kids, I think that every child is different and what works for some may or may not work for others. I think we can help kids sleep better, but we can't make them sleep. So I would stick to a routine, feed if you think you need too and basically do what you need to keep your sanity. I personally don't think your baby is too old to be feeding during the night. If that's what works for you to be getting some sleep, I wouldn't feel bad about it. Your baby will grow out of needing it. Also, I would try to advoid changing the diaper in the night (as long as it is only wet). Try nighttime diapers or use one size larger then he uses during the day. Also, you can cover diapers with plastic training pants so PJ's stay dry.

So, honestly I just wanted to let you know that there will be an end...my kids are 4 and 21 months now and all finally sleep through the night. This is temporary (although it doesn't seem so temporary when you are going through it) and it will get better. Read all the advice you get and take what you think will work for you. Good luck.

Sounds like you're doing great so far in terms of listening for the differences in your son's cries. I agree with other moms when you should go with your gut instinct with your son. He's probably waking at 2am because he's slept his 6 hours (which is sleeping through the night at his age) and is HUNGRY! You and your doctor aren't always going to agree on what is best for your son, so when it comes to feeding him at 2am, I would listen to your son, not his doctor. 6 month olds still need that middle of the night feeding, especially if they're primarily breastfed like your son is. Breastmilk digests more quickly than other foods, so it stands to reason that even if he nurses at 7pm, he's going to be hungry 6 hours later.

I never liked the cry-it-out method. I don't mind my son (who's now 2) crying, but when it changes or goes on for longer than 5 mintues, then I know he needs something, regardless of what I have going on the next day. But it sounds like you're already doing that :) My son never slept well either; it's just something we as parents have to get through. Good luck, and I applaud you for still breastfeeding!

Hi J.,
I had also the same problem. It started when we came back from NL. We though the first couple of week because of the jetlag but after 1 half month?????
We brought her to bed at 10.00,but she still woke up at 4.00 a.m. After that we decided to move her crib to our room. I do not know if he sleep with you or not. Our daughter slept in her room. Nowdays she sleep in our room.
First time she had to get use to it and she still woke up and I gave her pacifier and she turned to sleep again.
After a couple of week she sleep very good until now.
When everything is going well, you can try bring him to bed at 9.00 p.m and after that 8 p.m.
It need also patient. I hope it will work with you and your husband.

Oh I feel your pain! My daughter is a year and only occasionally sleeps through the night. It is really important to remember that every baby is different, and not all methods work for all babies. We have tried several methods, and many of them have not worked or felt right to us. The bottom line is that there is tons of advice out there, but you know your baby best, so do what you are comfortable with. It is so hard as a mom to realize that there are some things we can't control- and sometimes baby's sleep is one of them :-). So try some methods, but try not to get too frustrated if they don't work. Your little love just may have his own ideas of how things are going to go. Others have written in some good suggestions, so give them a try, always remembering that you are a good mama, and it is not your failure if the methods don't work. Having said that, I sincerely hope the methods work for you! As for my little one, unfortunately she has made the sleep rules in our house, despite my best efforts. Good luck, and know that you are not alone!

More power to you if you can figure out a way to get a 6 month old to sleep through the night when he doesn't do it on his own. My nearly 10 month old is such a better sleeper than his older brother was, but he still wakes once or twice a night and nurses. The oft referenced book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, says that it is normal for some babies to eat at night through 9 months.

If you don't want to CIO, you are going to have to invest more time and energy on gentler methods, and, in the end, it could be a losing battle if he really is hungry at night. Maybe you can focus on extending the maximum period before you nurse him rather than eliminating night nursing altogether.

I am in exactly the same spot as you. We used to co-sleep and baby woke up 2+ times a night. He has been in his own room for a week and there is no change in wake ups, but I am less tempted to plug him in and go back to sleep. We are 3 days into my version of the Ferber method and Dad is having to help. I feed the baby before bed (was 7:15, but I am keeping him up until 8:15 now to see if helps). I feed him again at first waking, usually 11-11:30 pm. If he wakes up after that I give him a pacifier IF he needs more help or if he pecks at my chest Daddy is on duty for the rest of the night (last night he woke at 2:30 and 3:30 am). He is waking up at 6:30 and I feed him then, but he is not that hungry. SO, I conclude he wants to nurse because he knows it is me. He screams at Dad for about 5-10 mintues then settles down great. This is the time when your hubby should step in, before he starts the new job.

Things that seem to be helping: more solids starting with breakfast so he feels full, less naps at daycare (he was sleeping 4 hours there, now down to 3 hours.) Hope this helps, I know both you and I will survive!

One suggestion, if you are comfortable with it, is to feed more solids during the day. I have a 6 month old, and each family is different, but we started her on solids at 4 months because she had the signals (reaching for foods others are eating etc). She has always been a good sleeper in the night, so it might be disposition, but she sure seemed more satisfied in the day with greater solid intake. Also my friend of a 7 month old just increased her daughter to type 2 solids and found she has been sleeping better. Good luck to you and to echo another mother that responded, do what feels right!

Hi J.,

My advice to you is to try to slowly introduce a later bedtime. I think if you could get him slowly and gradually to have an 8:30 bedtime, it would work out better for all three of you. Introduce the new bedtime in 15 min. increments per day or every two days or whenever you are able to achieve happy cooperation. Also, it's important for a baby to have a "boring" routine. Keep a regular, quiet schedule around him during the evening hours and seek out very quiet, calm family activities. When you get ready for bedtime, it's important to keep a lowkey, slowly tempo'd pace. Rushing around getting ready for sleeptime is kind of stressful itself if you're keeping up a daily hectic pace.

Two hours before you get to sleep each night make it a point to take the slow, sleepy journey to an extra drowsy, sleep-inducing bedtime ritual. This includes mom and/or dad turning off the television, maybe some very sleepy and drowsy music, some calming one-on-one with the baby involving sleepy lullabyes, baby massage (make it slow and sleepy--none of that raucous clapping patacake or surprising games of loud peekaboo), or sleepy bedtime stories. Pull out the cosy pajamas and get them ready. Make sure baby's bathwater isn't too hot because hot water can be a stimulating factor. A little bit lukewarm bath is fine as long as the baby is wrapped and dried right away. Make sure also that your home isn't too warm or stuffy. Open a window in the evening to let in a bit of fresh air. Give your baby a conscious feeling of love when you lay him down to sleep so that he knows he's cherished and maybe that will help him relax more into a longer sleeping pattern.

The library has some baby-massage books, maybe you can find one with a section on relaxing baby night owls. Try drinking fennel and chamomile tea instead of soda or any caffeinated drinks; these relaxing herbs will also be present for you to nurse him with and maybe he could sleep through the night without waking up so often.

Within one month I hope all will be readjusted to a new family rythm that is more restful to your family.

Hope this works for you,
-M

Hi J.,
Hang in there! Your doing great! My suggestion is to try the ferber method. I did see you are not into crying it out, but may I suggest trying it for 3 nights? That's all it takes sometimes. The ferberizing method is basically this: let him cry for 5 minutes, go in and just pat/rub his back, tell him you love him, stay for about a minute, keep putting him on his back if he tries to get up and then leave the room. Go back and repeat this every 5 - 10 minutes until he falls asleep. It worked for us. The first night (both kids) was the hardest. It took about 30 minutes the first night and then both my kids did about 15 minutes the second night and then we knew we almost there. Good luck with whatever you do.

My 12 month old son went through a huge growth spurt at 6 months old, and he just could not get enough to eat! It took me a while to figure it out, because of course I had to investigate all of the other possibilities. Eventually I started feeding him more babyfood and solids because any form of liquid just wasn't enough. I'm wondering if this is what's going on with your little one. . . .specially since he seems to want to nurse when he wakes up. I wonder if you could try giving him some cereal or babyfood at night with his bottle if that might help.

J.,

Just something that no-one has mentioned but for babies sleeping for 6 hours is considered sleeping through the night! It is just frustrating when their 6 hours starts at 7pm and ends at 2am. What is your gut instinct about how to deal with this as the mother of your child? I know you have a gut instinct about how to deal with this and it is always tempting to see what other things are out there when you are at your wits end and ignore your gut instinct but as my pediatrician said to me trust your gut it is always right. As you read through the ideas given here listen to your gut and I bet you will end up doing what you were originally thinking of doing originally what ever it was your gut was instinctively telling you to do originally.

J.,
I don't know if this will help, but I'm going to say it anyway...don't worry too much about the sleep. My mom tried to tell me this a few months ago, and said that my anxiety about the sleep was probably causing my daughter to have anxiety about sleep...I think she was right. I spent almost the whole first year worrying about how to get my daughter to sleep, or how to get her to stay asleep...now she's 14 months old, and only waking about once a night. At that point, I bring her in bed with us and she goes back to sleep within a couple minutes usually. I breastfed her until just over 12months old. I used to breastfeed her in bed to get her back to sleep! Whatever worked was what I did...in order to get sleep (my husband and I both work). I think now I realize that the first year (and I'm sure every year from now on) was just REALLY tiring. Exhausting. I just wish I hadn't worried so much about sleep. I drove myself nuts reading all the different methods and trying them out. Just do what feels right to you, and your baby will adjust as he grows older.
I hope this helped a bit. Take care and try to get some rest. :-)
-N.

hello J.,
I went through pretty much a similar situation with my daughter. shes 16.5 months and is finally sleeping through the night as of a couple of months ago. Have you thought about a co-sleeper or just laying him next to you in bed and nurse him? a lot of contradictory statements have been made about co-sleeping but it was the only way i could get some kind of sleep. sometimes i was even able to lay her down with me and nurse her to sleep and then slide her back into her bed. every baby is different so i dont know if this wil work for you. I dont quite agree with the pediatrician. He's only 6 months old and maybe he is hungry. My daughter woke up every couple of hours (sometimes i think it was just for the comfort of it) if he's crying that hard it sounds like he's not kidding around.
Hope this helps
and good luck
A.
Also, i agree with J. A. about not changing the diaper unless its poopy. it just wakes them up more then need be.

I wish that I had some advice for you. My first daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was a year old. It was tough. She was up every 3-4 hours during the night and I was at work fulltime. My second however is a great sleeper. She goes to bed at 7 and wakes up at 5 every night. She is also only 2 months old. My pedi suggested with my first to give her rice cereal before bedtime to try and hold her over. Maybe try feeding him a little more before bed and see what happens. I am sorry you are going through this as I know how it feels. Please keep us posted.

If you're open to co-sleeping, try the book by James McKenna on how to cosleep safely. Some babies just need to be closer to their parents than others. My 7 month old daughter has always co-slept with me and, thankfully, I've had very few problems with her sleeping through the night. I'm sure this is partially due to her disposition, but I think it's also partially due to her being close to me at night and easily accessible to nurse when she needs it. 6 months seems too young to cut off night feedings.

Good luck!

HI, J.,
I just wanted to share what we do to get sleep in our house with our eight month old. He sleeps in the bed with us. I realize that this is not the solution for everyone, but it definitely allows all of us to be well rested and a functioning unit! My baby wakes about 2X a night. He wakes up around midnight (when I am just going to bed) and then again around 5 AM.
We have yet to tackle how to get him to sleep on his own still, but I have faith it will work out somehow. My older boy slept with us from age 2 until 3.5 and his transition to his own bed could not have been easier.
Do the best you can for your family and I hope you find some sleep soon!
A.

Hi J.,
I LOVE the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. I used it with my kids and they've slept through the night at 3 months. I don't have time to go into more detail now but you can check previous replies for which I've also recommended this book for more details.
Good luck whatever you try,
C.

I'm a mom who went without sleep for 3 years with my first child. Everyone said, "let them cry and after one week it will be better". Well, I couldn't stand to hear her and after 3 years of not sleeping I have one thing to say...let him cry!!!
When my second child came along, I started immediately with the following:
-Make sure he is not hungry when you put him down(and not overly full either)
-Always put him down AWAKE so he gets himself to sleep by himeslf(they must learn this so they can do it by themselves when they wake up in the middle of the night).
-Play some soft music every night when you put him to bed, then if he wakes in the middle of the night turn on the music again(and walk out of the room immediately-try to do it without him seeing you) and he will learn that signifies going to sleep.
-Do not engage in any eye contact, patting, picking up etc.he will learn to expect this.
-If you don't have them, invest in blackout shades or a thick piece of heavy black fabric to keep any light out of the room.

Both of my children are great sleepers now (12 and 8 years old). I know it's hard but one week of hard core work pays off BIG time in the end.

Good luck!

I must admit that I was hesitant to let my son cry it out because I thought it would be too difficult, but I stuck it out and he now sleeps throught the night.
I must first say that when we are out of town and he sleeps in the same room as us, the progress goes out the window! So, I know it is so important for him to have his own space and his own peace and quiet without hearing mom and dad noises through the night (snoring, getting up to go pee, restlessness, etc.).
I am still breastfeeding and have made sure to adhere to a schedule with his feedings (milk and real food). He goes to bed at 7 now and wakes up anywhere between 5 and 6 in the morning, which is OK with us!
I will say this: When I let him cry, I was sure not to let it go more than 30 minutes--any more than that and there is something wrong--hunger usually.
Good luck!