Baby Sleep Issues

Go get the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It is the best book for sleep problems and setting sleep schedules. I used it for both of my kids and even though their sleep habits were very different from one another the book still worked for both.

I warmed up my baby's crib with a hot water bottle I had wrapped with one of my nightshirts I had worn (as others have suggested) and then used the nightshirt as a blanket. I always suspected the coolness of the sheets woke up my baby when I laid him down.

I know this will be conflicting advise, but I think with all of this advice, you need to make teh best choice. I am NOT a fan of crying it out. I have a 14 month old. He was very difficult to get to sleep in the beginning. Now, he has become accustomed, as much as a baby can, to putting himself to sleep. I have had friends who marvel at how easily he goes down. This took work. And, it changes when he's sick and teething. I used a few books. I used "the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby" as my main guide. It was very helpful. She had a second book that was very good at answering specific questions that come up. You can buy these second hand for relatively cheap. The other book I used was, "Good Night, Sleep Tight: The Sleep Lady's Gentle Guide to Helping Your Child Go to Sleep, Stay Asleep and Wake Up Happy". This uses a similar approach--putting your baby down sleepy, but not asleep, and picking up and putting down for crying. This one is a good balance to the first book because it's a bit less rigid. They use similar methods, though.
I used these for a long time. It took time, but it worked. I trained my son so that, when I do use crying it out, it is really for a short time. By picking him up when he cried, and putting him back down when he was quiet--repeatedly!--he learned that I would be there, but that he still had to sleep. He also learned to put himself to sleep.
Sleep is really hard. I had a hard time. We had to hold my son a lot. But, I am a firm believer that letting him cry on his own without being there would have hurt my relationship with him. I hope this helps you. You need to feel completely OK with whatever approach you use. You will work it out.

Have you tried putting your baby in a baby swing to fall asleep? My daughter couldn't get her baby to sleep unless she was in her swing. She did this for months until she could get her used to her crib. Although that was a little bit difficult also. While her baby slept in her swing she was in her mother's bedroom at night so she still felt safe and close to her mother. It's worth a try. Good luck. Dynaohana

30 minutes is a normal waking time. If you can anticipate that first wake then comfort him back to sleep he may sleep longer. My son sounds like he was similar to yours. Do you nurse? You can always put him down on your bed for naps and if he wakes, go in to nurse him back to sleep. At night, do what you can to keep him in his room all night. He should be ready to sleep through for about 6+ hours without feeding by now. We tried "cry it out" & "no cry sleep solution". By the time he started sleeping well, he started teething and his sleep went out the window again! We got to the point where papa's job was to go in when he woke in the night, calmed him down and laid down on a sleeping bag until baby is asleep. For the most part, he sleeps great now - about 11 hours straight with 0-2 short wakes, naps 2+ hours during the day. Quite the 180 from where he was at 6 months. Go with your gut. I wish I didn't stress so much about "how" to do it right.

Our twins killed us sleep-wise when they were infants, by the time they were 6 mo old, we just couldn't do it anymore. They have always been good about going to sleep, but they would wake several times during the night. We decided that once we put them in bed for the night at 7pm, we wouldn't come back until 7am unless there was an emergency. The first night, they screamed to two hours collectively and the next night, 10 minutes, then nothing. Having them cry it out was tough that first night, but well worth it in the end. Good luck, it is so hard when you're not getting solid sleep

Our baby used to only take a great nap if I would hold him. 45 minutes if in the crib, 3 hours if in the recliner with me. I loved the snuggling but it was difficult as I'm sure you know! He was also colicky the first 12 weeks so I was willing to do ANYTHING to make the screaming stop. I decided at 6 months we were going to make a change and I read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I was scared that it wouldn't work, that there'd be a lot of screaming and torture for both of us. Much to my surprise within 3 days...3 days - can you believe that?...he was taking two naps without fuss, and waking up happy and was well-rested. I was shocked.

I feel like such a broken record saying this, because it is the advice I always give!

Read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth (he is a pediatrician who specializes in infant/child sleep issues and has been an expert in the field for over 30 years). Become familiar with the techniques and if you think they will work for you, give it a consistent try.

Good luck to you!

I don't have any specific advice but I found the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth to be very helpful. In addition to general info on sleeping patterns etc for children of all ages, he gives suggestions for problems, such as you describe. My little one is 2 1/2 and I still refer to it now and again as his naps and sleeping patterns change.

You have to read the book Healthy sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weisbluth-it is my bible. It might take a week or two but you have to let him cry it out. This book is a great resource for helping a baby sleep. I have a 4 month old girl and she sleeps from 7pm-6:30-7am and I followed the book step by step. Good Luck and let me know how it goes......

T.

Did you try to lay him down with a stuffed animal? One a little smaller than him. You can sleep maybe 2 nights with them both and then lay him down with him leaning on the stuffed bear (human shaped).

Wow! Sounds exactly like my situation. The only difference is that we choose to hold him and help our baby get to sleep. For us, it's a philosophy...attachment parenting. There is nothing wrong with holding your baby while he sleeps. I can COMPLETELY resonate with the daytime schedule. My son will sleep for 40 minutes in is crib. However, it's more like 30 after I've gotten him to sleep. 2 hours later, he's ready for another cat nap. If I hold him, he'll sleep for hours. A regular sleep cycle is 30-45 minutes at this age. It is VERY NORMAL for a baby to wake up after one sleep cycle. I agree with Dr. William Sears that babies need help falling asleep. Yes, this is not necessarily the most popular way to parent, but I don't agree with the alternative...sleep training. Hang in there and enjoy holding your baby. Your house may be a mess, you may not have showered in awhile, but enjoy your baby. You can google "attachment parenting" or "Dr. Sears" if you're interested in learning more. It's wonderful to find a well-respected pediatrician (Dr. Sears) that endorses this philosophy that I stumbled upon just because of my instincts.
Good luck!

J.
Where is your baby's crib? Co- sleeping is a blessing up until 90 years ago we all slept in the same room for warmth ,comfort, protection. You might try using your night shirt( used the night before) as a blanket so your baby knows your near. Our children only little for a short time this to shall pass. I have used this with all 5 children. My oldest is 12 and I don't hold her in her sleep any more she as tall as I am now. Trust your instincts Good Luck!

J.

I have used BAby Wise for all four of my children. They were sleeping through the night by 10 weeks. I am able to lay them down awake and they will sleep. It is a training process, but so worth it.

I am sure you can buy it online for $10-$15.

T.

I nursed my first daughter and it was easier to have her sleeping with me then it was to put her in her crib. I remember those days of not sleeping. I was given some good advice, which I have passed on to a few new moms and it works. Wear a t-shirt or a sweatshirt for a day and put it in her crib on top of the sheet that she would sleep on. Just having your scent near will help the baby sleep without you holding him all night.

My 2nd daughter was also colicky for the first 3 months (not fun!) She would also sleep much better with me either on me or in our bed than she would in her crib. As hard as it is to do, you have to let him cry it out so he can learn to put himself to sleep and sleep by himself. Go in after about 10 minutes (earlier if you feel better) and just comfort him without picking him up. I would stroke her head or pat her butt and just try to soothe her with "it's ok, it's sleepy time". The baby aquarium that plays soft music has worked wonders for us. The first night, my daughter cried for about 30 minutes before she finally gave up and went to sleep. I would feed her when she woke up and rock for a few minutes but then put her back down whether she was awake or not. After 2 or 3 nights it went to 20 minutes, then 10 until she went to sleep without a problem. It will take several days and seem like it is not working at first, but eventually he will give in and learn to sleep in his crib by himself. Good Luck!

Hi J.,

You probably don't want to hear this but in my opinion it is the only thing that will work....you have to let him cry it out...and learn to sleep on his own. It is so difficult for the parents but in the best interest of the child. Sleep problems can lead to many, many other problems down the road. I promise you that you won't regret it and you will be such a better parent if you are both well rested. I had to do it with my son at 6 months -- it took 2 days...and he cried for over an hour at times. It was so brutal but again, so worth it. He is 15 months now and a great sleeper. My husband and I used Marc Weisbluths (spelling?) Healthy Sleep Habits book to help us through. You may not be ready to let you son cry yet but you will get to the point where you realize it is what is best for him. The results are amazing and having a well rested baby is very rewarding!

I totally agree - get "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth. But take note, I actually go to Dr. Weissbluth's practice (he is the head pediatrician at Northwestern Children's Practice), and our doc there (who of course works for Weissbluth) cautioned us on taking the book word for word. She said to read it and glean from it what will work for us and our child. So definitely use the book as a guide, but don't treat it like the sleep bible. Your child and your maternal instincts will guide you in the right direction, with a little help from Weissbluth. : )

Hi J.
My now almost 5 month old was the same. I thought I was going to loose my mind - I also have an almost 3 yr old who gave up naps. The baby would wake up as soon as you would lay her down, so I had her sleeping in her swing at night for a couple months (didnt work right away, but eventually did). Our doctor thought she might have acid reflux and put her on Zantac at her 2 month appointment. We have noticed a difference, she can lay down without all the drama. We notice when we've forgotten the meds due to her added crankyness. I then started to lay her down for naps every time she fell asleep - even if it was for 5 minutes. As that got better I started her in the crib and we were lucky it went well. She sleeps all night now. She still has bad evenings where she'll cry and nothing calms her down. I suspect that it is do to tiredness (still not a big napper). Those nights I've tried everything from Orajel and Mylacon to Tylonol. I have found that she only will calm down 10 minutes after Tylonol, so think she has trouble relaxing to sleep (over tired from not napping like she needs). So I just humm and rock and walk....(you know the drill).
Good luck. I wish I could be more helpful. You'll find out what works and it will get better!

Is the crib in the room with you?? I had the same issue with my 6 month old. She would only sleep on me for the first month or two, but she wasn't colic. Eventually I would get her to fall asleep on me and then after a good 10-20 minutes, I would lay her in her crib. You have to wait until they are completely out. It takes a few weeks but eventually she got used to sleeping in her crib. Although I do feel your pain because she still doesn't sleep through the night and twice a week she has to sleep with me for an hour or two. It's hard. But hopefully he'll get over it.
Also, if you have his crib in another room just let him cry in his crib. My friends have told me that they will cry for 5 or so hours but after a few days to a week, they finally slept in their own crib without the need of you to sleep with.
GOOD LUCK!

I feel for you, I was in a similar situation. I used the cry it out method to teach my daughter to sleep on her own and to also teach her to go back to sleep when she wakes up in the middle of a nap/sleep. It was awful but it did the trick. Unfortunately, she then seemed afraid of her crib and would scream everytime we walked into the bedroom to put her down. GUILT!!! So I finally found a great book with a middle of the road approach that I could relate to called Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hog. Another thing you should know, when they wake up cranky because they haven't had enough sleep, don't rush in to comfort them. Let your baby fuss it out for 5-10 min and often they will go back to sleep on their own. IF your baby just seems to be getting more and more upset you can go in and DO NOT PICK them up but pat gently on the back or bottom and say sssshhhhh until they settle back down. As soon as they get quiet and settle, stop the comforting action immediately. This lets them know you are there for them but they need to sleep and do it on their own. When they wake up quietly/in a good mood, enough sleep has been had. This has worked great for me. Occasionally it still takes an hour or comforting on and off to get her to calm down and sleep BUT that's because she has started teething (occasionally bc she's gassy) and is out of sorts with need of extra TLC. Hope this helps!!! :D God Bless!

By the way, my daughter's crib is in our room and she sleeps fine.

Well my advice would be if you are breast-feeding, to lay next to him and nurse him to sleep and slip away. The family bed is how we slept mostly for the first year. I used pillows so he never fell out of bed which I placed strategically around the bed to keep him safe.

Hi J.,
Is your baby breastfed or bottle-fed? If breastfed, you can take him to bed with you and nurse him to sleep. He cries when he wakes up alone in his crib because he needs to be close to the people he loves the most- that's just what babies need. Adults don't even like to sleep alone- a baby certainly doesn't.

I have 2 children, ages 2 1/2 and 11 1/2, with another on the way, and I have learned that the "crying it out" method does not work. They are only babies for a short time, and he will eventually sleep by himself and not need you as much to comfort him in the night, but right now, he does.

You may feel pressure from other people who ask, "Is he sleeping through the night yet?!" But his sleeping through the night is not representative of you being a successful parent.

I got lots of rest at night with my son, and later, my daughter, sleeping in my bed- they didn't wake up as often as they would have in a crib, because I was always right there to comfort them when they needed me.

Parenting is a full-time job- the shift doesn't end at bedtime! :)

Best wishes to you and your little guy.

J.