Seeking Advice About Law School.

Is this really a question. This is an incredible oppurtunity for you. You have the chance to teach your daughters that no matter your age, life status, or circumstances you still have the amazing chance to reach for your dreams. This is your time to teach them that they don't have to settle. That no matter what life hands them they can change their fate. This is an incredible chance momma...remember...their watching.

You've already received some great advice. I just want to add my congratulations for all you have achieved. What a grand role model you are for your daughters! Talk with them about your ambitions, dreams, and concerns. They will appreciate being considered grown-up enough to be included. Also talk about how the three of you as a team will work out schedules, chores, meals, studying, and making sure to have some fun times. Good luck!

M., you where accepted in to law school not by coincidence. The people that reviewed your files knew who you are and the responsibilities and sacrifices you would have to take on in order to succeed in law school, and they saw in you the ability to excel beyond what the many others that where not accepted. Trust in yourself that you can do it. I became a wife and a mother while I was in law school, and I found that more than just working towards my dream, allowing my self to take a full time schedule, although the debt was a calculated risk, allowed me to perfectly manage raising my child somewhat like a stay at home mom would and take on the challenges of law school. That is something for you to consider. I saw many classmates like you succeed and graduate with honors and better grades than the ones that did not have the same responsibilities, partly because we become more focused and know that there is no time to fuss around. I also saw great classmates drop out because they where going through a divorce and because their children where not understanding the responsibilities that their mother was taking on, but as she saw the ones that where able to do it, she regrets dropping out to this date. Like others, my advice is to talk to your children, and make this a family project, but don't let this decision be made by anyone but you. Your children are growing and will be gone some time soon, but any regrets will stay with you for the rest of your life. Some people sometimes brought their children to class, if they had conflicts and the professors are more than understanding. Before you take any decisions, go visit your law school and talk to the students there that are like you, and then make a decision. The proudest moment in my life was to walk across the stage in graduation with my child in hand getting my law school diploma from the school Dean and the applause of all the attending and all the people I love. I'm sure that you can do it and trust that there are much more benefits than down sides to going through with it.

Love your self first, that is my advice.

I can only speak from my own experience: As a child my mother was always in school. While we missed her, the time we spent together was intense and good. I know she wishes she had been there more, but neither my sister nor I felt deprived in any way. We learned to be very independant, and having a happy mom who was following her dream made up for the times we wanted her and she was not there. Happy kids need happy moms.

Your kids are old enough to talk it out with. What do they say?

Wow - that is not a simple question is it? And there are so many possible answers, none of which are right or wrong. First of all, congratulations on your Master's and on getting into Law School. I think it is important to realize that ambivalence is to be expected under these circumstances; law school is a major investment of time and money and it will mean sacrifices by all. I think you should be feeling some doubt at this point - it's only natural and is all part of the decision making process. It might help to list the advantages and disadvantages of going, to start. I mean, there are options. Depending on the school, you could probably go part time and thus reduce the demands upon your time, or you could defer your acceptance. But I'm wondering what your master's is in and why you chose Law School. Is this something you really want? I think you can manage the demands of school and your daughters if this is what you want and if you don't overload yourself. You will be setting a wonderful example for your girls, and doing something important for your future, as well as for yourself. How hard was it to get the Master's degree? It sounds like you felt a real sense of accomplishment. In thinking about moving ahead with more school, that should be a useful guideline. On the other hand, I am assuming this is a choice and you don't have to do this, which means desire plays a big role. You have to want it enough to make it work. The good news is there are no wrong answers here. Either choice is a legitimate one and neither is binding or irrevocable. I'm sure you will discuss it with your girls and other people involved in your life. The teenage years are interesting ones - they are not around nearly as much and yet they require your presence and supervision. Yet soon they will be moving on and you will need to build a different kind of life. I think it is wonderful you are taking such a thoughtful approach in making this decision and I know that means you will make the choice that is right for you now. It isn't easy to live in the present with an eye toward the future. Good luck!

I'm about 7 years out of law school and attended the night program in my 20's so I was the baby in my class. The majority of students were in their 40's who also worked full time and had families. I never heard anyone complain about lost time.

For me, organization was key. I worked full time and took 4 classes per semester (had class M to Th 6 to 10pm). I did all my work on the weekends. As time progressed, it took me less and less time to do the homework because I became more proficient at reading and digesting case law. Finals are always a ton of work. But what finals aren't?

The best advice I can give you is absolutely pursue your JD. Since you just received your masters, you understand what's involved in studying to pursue a degree. A JD is just one more degree. If you're lucky enough to go FT during the day, treat law school as a full time job. See your kids off to school in the morning, and start studying/going to class during what would be normal work hours. You'll find that by approaching it that way, you'll have nights and weekends free for the most part. Obviously this won't be the case during finals, but for most of the semester you should be able to handle school without sacrificing time with your kids.

Good luck!!

Personally speaking, I think you would be a fantastic role model for going, showing your daughters that they need not ever be dependent on anyone and that they can do anything they set their mind to!!

What an amazing example you will be setting for your children...that education is important and that you should never give up because it might be too hard! It will be hard, but use any resources you have at hand to help you...family, friends, etc. Congratulations on being accepted...good luck!

M.,
Congratulations!! You should follow your dreams. If you have other support, especially for your daughters, everyone will benefit!! And your daughters will see what can come out of hard work and determination. There are not a lot of people that would be able to do what you are doing. That is a compliment! Go and follow the path that is calling you!!
Good luck!

Firstly, I want to say congratulations on your amazing achievement! I can not imagine how hard it was to balance school and your family! If law school is a dream of yours it would be a shame for you to miss that. What about going at night and doing it very slowly? It may take longer to graduate, but it could lighten your load of responsibilities. Best of luck to you!

Congratulations!!!!

Go to law school. I had the same fears about continuing my education. I have a BS in Criminal Justice and want to get my Masters. I have a 16 and 2.5 year old and have the same concerns. You have a better situation. You have teenagers who can take care of themselves.

If this is what you want to do, pursue it by all means. This will show your daughters determination and that they are not supposed to give up on their dreams since you didn't.

Nanc

M., your children sound old enough to have some input on t his decision. Explain the circumstances to them, your concerns, and ask them what they think you should do and how you think you, as a family, can overcome the obstacles presented by this opportunity. Lay out a list of pros and cons and for every con, list a potential solution. Have your girls sit with you and work it out; they're old enough to learn from you, to have some input, and who knows, they may have some real insight. If nothing else, including them in this decision (while ultimately restricting the right to make the final decision as your choice) can help strengthen your relationship as they transition from children to adults.

M.

Hi M.,

First of all, congratulations on being accepted to law school!

As an attorney who has been practicing now for 17 years, I will say that it is not for anyone else to say whether you "should" go or not. I think if I were in your position, I would be asking myself why I might want to go as well as what if any doubts or concerns I might have. Yes, law school is demanding, particularly if you are working during the day and going to school at night. Other questions are what do you anticipate the impact would be on your teen agers? Do either of them have special needs? Are they supportive? Are they generally responsible?

I knew from the beginning that I did not aspire to work at a large firm. I started out in public interest law (legal aid/legal services). Ultimately I left that, and now I am in-house counsel at a staffing company and enjoying it. I do not make as much money as I would if I worked at a large firm, but I enjoy what I do, I have nowhere near the stress that I have encountered working in not so large firms, and I have a life! So again, I cannot emphasize enough, that it is important to know why you want to go and what you think you would be looking to do when you have your law degree. Are there other things you can do and enjoy doing that would not require a law degree/license? If so, would you want to do any of those things? Why or why not?

If you need to bounce questions or ideas, please feel free to contact me---and good luck, whatever you decide!

J.

Dear M.,

Congratulations! You already sound like one smart, high-achieving, accomplished lady! I suspect that if you can handle the rigors of an MA program, you can handle law school. And I agree with a lot of the moms on this thread: you'll be a phenomenal role model. Plus, since your daughters are in high school, you may be able to work toward your academic milestones with them: you study for the bar while they study for their SATs, etc. That will likely teach them how to set aside the time, create the space, etc., to succeed in college and beyond.

Congratulations "counsel"!

Mira

I just have one question I want you to ask yourself: When you're old, like 100 =), and you look back at your life, will you think "I wish I would've went to law school" or "I regret not going to law school"? If either of those is yes, you need to at least try, for your sake.

I'm working on my Master's now and this has been something I never thought of completing since, to me, it felt like an impossible dream. But I'm taking the steps I need to fulfill my path in life. Sometimes I miss my 3-yr-old when I'm at school or think I'm missing out but I know, in the end, it will be worth it and what a great role-model I'll be for my son to reach for his own dreams and achieve them!

Good luck!

M.,

First and foremost congratulations on your wonderful achievement, both your master's degree and getting accepted to law school. Second, I want to say go for it. I think it will be hard and you will definitely feel the stress. Your daughters will too. But they are old enough to pitch in and to help take care of household chores while all three of you go to school. I'm not saying they should take care of everything, but make sure they understand that law school will be more demanding of your time if you are to be successful. Our children are stronger and more resilient than we give them credit for. Your daughters will understand and they will be very proud of their mom. I also think you are setting a wonderful example for your daughters.

Again, congratulations. J.

Go for it M.. You've achieved so much already, keep that momentum going, you'll never regret it.

Hi!
I can relate - I've been accepted to a doctoral program and have two girls: 4 yo and 18 months.
I can't do this without the support of family - know that your kids will need to support you but also GIVE you the time to do homework and all that.
Have good time management and hopefully you have other people to watch the kids - maybe they stay over a friend's/family member's house once a week or once a month or whatnot...
Best wishes!

o gosh...i guess it would depend on your teenagers. i mean if they are very close to you and are willing to help out a lil more and understand the demands. if it were me i would wait a two years--with my girls 16 and 13. but my girls are dependent on me--althought they are very independent girls.
i wanted to go to med school and finsih up. i think i am going to just take a few more classes here and there. do residency when they are in college. too difficult when they are home. good luck..i know how u feel. i would just hate to see you start and have to leave. but if you make up your mnd to do it..i am sure you will do a great job.

M.,

You CAN do it. Talk to your daughters. See what their concerns are.

www.flylady.com

Plan the heck out of things. By the time you are taking the bar (I am thinking 4 years? You'll have to correct for that if it is different) your youngest will be 18.

Plan life, plan activities, plan planning. What will your kids be doing during the next 4 years (make a list). What will you need next 4 years (health ins., health planning - appointments, etc. (not saying MAKE appointments, just have a rough list from doc what you will need).

Simplify your life and possessions. The less you have to clean the better.

Also, plan on wearing a suit to class. One of our local colleges does this with their business majors. Allow for cleaning bills, expenses, clothes, wear and tear, etc. Even if you are changing into a suit for class like you change into gym clothes, it's a planning thing. Wearing the suit also gets you into the mindset, too.

Be careful of rote memorization and core dumps. The first is hard to use years later when you need it. The latter doesn't help you at all. Develop a system that works for you for remembering vast amounts of information. A tickler file would be a good idea (3x5 cards with tickle info about subject and cases). (tickle your memory into remembering useful info).

Look at the hardest times for your kids - you might need to take time off from classes altogether - for your sanity and theirs. Plan around that if you can.

Do your homework with your kids.

Have your kids help you with meal prep, etc.

Have your home concerns checked out ahead (if not in an apt, that is). Remember you can't let maintenance and upkeep go during this time.

There's so much more you can do to help you and your family.

But most of all: What would you do and where would you go with a law degree? Will it take you from family? Where do your girls want to go to school? How will you get them there?

Finally - go gangbusters on scholarship and grant applications. it can't hurt. It'll show your daughters that there is a way to go to college if they really want to go.

Good luck,
M.

Hi M.,

I went to law school at age 40 while I was going through a divorce. My kids were 5 and 7 at the time. In my experience, it was manageable, but only because my ex-husband took the kids a lot on the weekends so I could study and do the work. I feel that I am a good role model for my kids, and I don't feel like they suffered at all. It was probably more difficult for me, since my kids couldn't be left alone at that age, and yours can. In any event, the law school experience was fantastic for me. I felt on day one that I really belonged there, and I still miss it (I graduated 2 years ago). Good luck with whatever you decide.

--D.

Being a mother is the most important job you'll ever have. You're already questioning whether you should do this or not, is there any reason that you couldn't wait until your youngest graduates from High School and then go to Law school? You don't get a second chance at raising your kids...Good luck

I didn't read all of the other posts so I may be repeating.
My husdand finished law school 2 years ago. It was a very challenging time for us. He was VERY busy with classes and homework. There would be times, especially near finals, when we would not see him all week.
I know that your girls are older and more independent but you have to ask your self if you think that it is worth missing out on their high school years.
You are the only person who knows what your study habits look like and wether or not you think that you can balance raising children and studing. I will tell you that if you do go to LS you will need to be very organized.
Good luck with whatever you descide to do!
K.

Congratulations M.! I am 46 and finishing my BA (My Art school + Dental hygiene school credits did not amount to a degree. Go figure. lol) but I have 2 boys (single mom) and it is wonderful for them to see me study and we all celebrate our grades together! You'll juggle it! My lawyer began law school in her mid-50s and her family is so very proud! It really is a great example for the children and fantastic for you too.
Best of luck!

Hi M.,

I am 43, mother of a 16 MONTH old and teach at a law school, so I am drawn to your question. I want to encourage you to pursue your JD, but also give you realistic advice. Your daughters are in school all day and pretty self-sufficient, I would suppose, so that does free up to attend classes and do some studying during the day. (Maybe you can also study together at night!)
I think a lot depends upon your other obligations and your plans to finance law school. Does the school you've been accepted to have a part-time program? I think that would make things much more manageable. Will you also be working? That could be tough to manage. As you've probably learned by now, the first year of law school is the most demanding and it is the year that the pecking order is established. By that I mean you are graded based on a strict curve and your class ranking -- unfortunately -- is a substantial factor in job opportunities. Plenty of students in the middle of the class obtain jobs and internship opportunities, but you want to place yourself in the best position possible. You can't "wing it" in law school or cram just before the exam. Absorbing all of the information from classes requires constant, steady preparation, i.e., outlining each week (which you can do with a study group.) After first year there are things like journals, moot court, etc. that take up time in addition to class. You'll have the hang of law school classes by then, but these other activities -- which are important for gaining experience, making contacts, etc. -- can be time consuming.
Regarding finances: think carefully about borrowing heavily to fund law school. Many are graduating with six figure debt, but the six figure salaries are getting harder to obtain. Many of the large firms are laying off associates now.
You should ask the admissions people at the law school if there are any students in a similar situation who might be willing to speak with you about making it work.
Best of luck to you.

Only you can decide of course but question is, do you have someone who could look in on your girls when you are not home? No matter how responsible we think our children are, it wasn't that long ago we were teens and I'm sure you remember what it was like. Look at that movie called She's Much Too Young. Teens are becoming sexually active much younger, doing more things than our generation, and doing more with drugs, even prescription drugs.

You can make it work...it's just going to take some figuring out. Congrats on your accomplishment!

Try to go part time. It would be a great inspiration to your daughters as well as a great opportunity for you. At 14 and 16 they should be old enough to understand and help out a little at home. I am 66 and just got my 2nd Masters in SW 4 years ago. It's never too late and it will make you feel accomplished.