Salon Birthday Parties- Yay or Nay

It's a party, not a suggestion that she should be like this. I would just let her go. My niece went to several from 5-8. She was fine. There really isn't a slippery slope, because it was no different then what she already did. Played dress up and put a little play makeup on. She never went to a party where they put on a ton of makeup. It was a little color and sparkle.

She's not going to be standing on the street corner, because she went to a salon part at 6.

It's called having fun. So if she was in a play or recital, she couldn't wear makeup? I am sure its all age appropriate. Have you found out exactly what is happening? It's your job to set boundaries. My parents were very strict with me growing up and it really hurt me socially in the long run. Talk about a "slippery slope".

What is the slippery slope? It's play time similar to playing dress up. Perhaps you don't let her play with little girls' make up or try out yours? Sounds like you're very protective if your daughter hasn't already done these things at home or a friend's house.

I would call the mom and ask what exactly the girls will do and if it's as Bug suggests, let her go.

This is the most popular type of party for little girls to have and I see we are practically neighbors. (I live outside of Philly too). My daughter has probably been to over a half dozen of these parties. They are so much fun for girls. I really think you should reconsider.

I am confused over what your gut is telling you and what slippery slope you would be going down to attend a party like this. These parties are just good clean fun😀

My daughters went to one of these and spa parties at someone's house. I understand your fear bc I kind of felt the same way but don't worry. They forget fast, it doesn't become an obsession at all etc. my girls didn't even like the salon party that much. They like ones at the park better.... They're now almost 9 and 7. I think the idea of a salon for kids is absurd but unless you started taking her a lot or putting her in pagents, I rally don't think it becomes a slippery slope. My kids have had the occasional mani or pedi at a real salon and I hate that idea too. I didn't have my first professional one till I was about 25. But we don't make it a habit at all. I consciously avoid it and they don't ask. So I would let her go.

well, if the party involves pony rides, it doesn't mean you have to go buy a pony if she likes it, does it?
if your family walks its talk, no child in it is going to be irretrievably tainted by an occasional party with a fun but innocent theme with a potential slippery slope, KWIM?
khairete
S.

I am happy to see your SWH. I think it's sad when parents blow things that are fun way out of proportion, like girls playing with Barbies, or boys playing fighting games. Playing dress up and grown up is something kids have been doing probably since time began, and if you're children live a balanced life then that's only a PART of who they are.
I'm glad you'll let her go in the future. Forbidding it would probably just confuse her and make her feel bad about something she enjoys (something we never want to make our daughters feel!)

I totally agree with Dana K IF it is that type of party. You need to do some research. When my daughter was around that age she was invited to a "Dollhouse Tearoom" party. They dressed up in their choice of a variety of clothes, a few boys were present, they got some very light make up and sparkles, had tea and desserts. It was all very "magical" themed. About a year later, her Girl Scout troop of all things suggested an event at Libby Lou in the mall. I don't know if these even exist anymore, but when I looked into what it was I was horrified that her Girl Scout troop would engage in such a thing! It was clearly focused on dressing up girls in a much older manner than their age with lots of makeup, tube tops, strappy shirts, tights shirts, short skirts--all of which you had to buy--then the groups of girls would go into the mall to eat or "shop." I let the leaders know she would not be participating in this and why. They decided to cancel the event. My daughter was also invited to two birthday parties at Libby Lou and she was not allowed to attend and I told her why. Just like both my son and daughter knew exactly why I felt Bratz dolls were inappropriate and we would not have those in the house. Set your standards now while your daughter is young. And most importantly, talk to her about why you make these decisions, in an age-appropriate way of course. That is the only way your values will be instilled in her, by discussion. Let her tell you what she thinks about it and ask questions without judgment. She may pleasantly surprise you with her take on certain things.

I wouldn't do it. It is teaching all the wrong lessons - she is valued for her appearance alone. Also there is no reason to support an industry that pushes premature sexualization of little girls' appearances. Also - there is ZERO reason that boys should be excluded and I am pretty certain this party will exclude them. Shouldn't she think that boys are people too? I would discuss the reasons she is not going with her and then do something else fun and empowering together.

It is not the same as playing dress up. Dress up is a fun CHILD LED activity involving their imaginations and involving BOTH boys and girls. A salon party is adults teaching little girls how to be 'grown up' in what they view as the 'appropriate' way.

As long as you keep your dialogue open with your daughter about the values you hope she adheres to, she can still enjoy parties like this. One of the wonderful things about feminism is that we women and our daughters get to make CHOICES for ourselves about how we present our femininity. If we want to be frilly and froufy and princessy, we can be. If we want to be tomboys, we can be. And we can be anything in between and interchangeable.

When we insist that our girls CAN'T and SHOULDN'T participate in these sorts of activities then we're actually fighting against what feminism is about.

As for whether or not boys will be there or they'll be excluded... that's such a non-issue. I've always let my daughters include their friends. They get to choose who attends their parties. I've never forced them to invite their entire class. So if that means "no boys" then tough noogies. My friends' sons have always been invited, even to our "Rockstar and Make-over Party" that we had. EVERYONE had frilly make-overs and nail polish and glitterized hair and it was a blast. If my daughter had chosen to make it all girls, I wouldn't have blinked. Just like when my friends' sons occasionally choose "all boys."

*No boys have been discriminated against nor marginalized in the posting of this comment.

So you're saying that on a regular basis you encourage them to dress up play with make-up and you've taken a six yr old to the nail salon. But a once in a great while, special occasion to a salon party, seems to send her the wrong message. I think it's more about what we do on a regular basis not the special occasions. It sounds like someone who lets their child drink Kool aid every weekend but is upset when they have soda at a party. My son has water and milk on a regular basis but may have whatever at a party since we dont go to parties every week. I never took my daughter to a salon, but I allowed her to go for parties. The compromise is that you make sure that on a regular basis she is exposed to sports, outdoor activities, educational activities, gardening, science, math, etc and gets the message that appearance is way down on the list of priorities. That she sees you do not put your appearance first and foremost (which can be really hard because this is an outward thing that our daughters see).
I ask my daughter how do I look in this, do you like my hair cut? all the time but I dont ask her to critique reports for work.....)

Actually, I think that this type of party would be so much fun. My daughter would love something like this and she is 5. I think that if they just do hair and nails with a touch of make-up, it would be fine. I highly doubt that they would be doing a ton of make up at this age.

My dd went to one and enjoyed it. Some girls at that age are really into dress up and others are still rough and tumble...but either way, I don't buy into the thought that this is going to be detrimental to them...it's just a party...most sleepovers she's gone to involved hair and nails too...not a big deal.

i'm sending you a private message I just went today to a spa party.