Regular Schedules??? and Other questions....LONG!

C.,

I wouldnt worry about a schedule, my son is 5months old and i let him make his own schedule and it has been the best thing ever. He is like clock work now! He is just a joy to be around, happy all the time.Let her make her own when she gets older. I have a friend whos 8 month old is on a schedule and he she wishs that she would of let him make his own schedule......

There's no reason for a child that age to be on a schedule yet. Feed when she asks, let her sleep when she is tired, she'll fall in to a schedule around the other kid's when she's ready.

My first son didn't go in to his own room until 6.5 months, my second it wasn't until 9 months. Until she sleeps through the night, there's no reason out put her out of the room. She should be up ever 2-4 hours at this point and no one wants to have to go to another room to get the baby that often at night.

Hi C., I agree with the mamas who are saying not to worry about a schedule yet. Just give her what she needs when she needs it at this point. With everything on your plate, I can't believe you're starting school in the fall! I hope your school schedule is not too intense at first. Good Luck! :)

Wow! What a crazy life! But wonderful right?! :) Your baby is still too young for a schedule. She needs to be fed on demand, sleep when she's tire, and be awake when she's not. You can watch her for cues. Gradually, you'll notice that she eats and sleeps at about the same time every day. Do you get your other kids used to a school schedule before school starts? I can remember about a week before school, going to be earlier and getting up earlier. If you can start that with the older kids, you can start to get the baby on the same schedule. I think I would wait till she's a little older though, 3 months maybe. As far as moving her to her own room, I'd wait until she sleeps through the night. It may be Gabby's room full time, eventually, but why not let it be the other little girls room while she's there this summer? 5 weeks isn't going to make that much of a difference to the baby. Plus, it's SO much easier to have her in the same room for middle of the night feedings. Let Lexi have "her" room this summer. If she's constantly woken up in the middle of the night by a crying baby, she's going to be grumpy and cranky, not a good combination! Seems like you're used to going with the flow, so I'd say just do that with the new baby, at least until you HAVE to be on a schedule!

I wanted to put my baby on a schedule at birth but didn't because I felt pressure from friends and family that he should be fed on demand, etc. My life was insane! It didn't work for him and it didn't work for me at all. I'm not saying this method is bad, but it just wasn't right for me and my family.

When I finally trusted my instincts and put him on a schedule, I used "The Contented Little Baby Book" by Gina Ford. Her philosophy is a bit of middle ground between feed on demand and cry it out.

It changed my life so dramatically!! When he was fussy, even at a couple months old, I knew what it was, generally. It was nearing nap time or feeding or whatever. I felt a freedom from the schedule, as strange as that may seem. I could (and still can) plan ahead activities and appointments around his naps and feeding times.

He is also MUCH happier. I admit, the transition was tough from no schedule to a schedule, but once we got there he was MUCH happier! I think he absolutely feels more secure knowing what comes next in his day.

Every baby is different, but I'd give it a try. The other place to look is babycenter.com. They have suggested schedules from real parents of babies from 1 month to 12 months. But, the book gives you the steps on how to get there! Feel free to PM me if you'd like. All the best to you and your family!!

I would be insane trying to keep up with your schedule without adding school in the fall! As to "fair" and "unfair" who said life was fair? I guess I would move her to her what is supposed to be her room soon and then start trying to work into a "schedule" for her. School here is starting in a month! Better to work into it now than to wait and have yourself trying to adapt to three new schedules all at one time! I would think that would be far worse for all of you!

Hi,

The book Babywise is a great scheduling book. I used it with both of my girls and had friends that used it with lots of success. They have it at Barnes & Nobles. They have a whole series, but Babywise is the first one. Congrats on your newest addition!

L.

Schedules don't always work for every baby - sometimes they just want to do their own thing lol. Anyways, my son is 5 months old now. At first, he had his days and nights mixed up but slowly he started to re-adjust himself. I had to return to work when he was 6 weeks old and that is when I started a regular schedule with him. He ate every 2-4 hours during the day, and before his last feeding I would give him a warm bath, put lotion on him, put his pj's on and then feed him. After the feeding I would rock him to sleep and then gently lay him in his crib (which is in his own room). And gradually I started only rocking him halfway asleep and putting him down, and now after his feeding I put him in his crib awake and he falls asleep on his own. I also have a "womb bear" in his room that I turn on for him to fall asleep to - it's supposed to be the sounds of the womb. I know most of my success with him is probably luck - he sleeps 10pm - 10am and has been since about 7 or 8 weeks old. But I truly believe keeping him on this schedule has helped him to realize when bedtime is and that its time to sleep. Also I really think that its important for her to be in her own room - I think both of you will sleep better. I wish you luck!!!

And I thought my life was hectic!! Okay, my response is LONG as well - I hope it helps though!

Regular schedules and routines are a personal preference. For me, I definitely wanted a routine. I started working on a routine with both of my kids around 6-8 weeks old. The initial key to having any kind of a schedule is starting your day at the same time every day. Once the schedule has been established, you may flex it within an hour or so on the weekends, etc.

Please keep in mind that the following advice only comes from one philosophy (there are many) but it worked for both of my kids. The basis of the philosophy is to have a routine that follows the order of feeding time, awake time and then nap time. It seems that many people tend to switch the awake and nap times. The routine needs to be doable around your schedule as well (when you need her to get up, when you are available to put her down and to feed her, etc.).

If your daughter is eating about every 3 hours, a schedule may look something like this:
7am – awake and feeding
8/8:30am – nap (1.5-2 hours)
10am – feeding
11/11:30am – nap (1.5-2 hours)
1pm – feeding
2/2:30 – nap (1.5-2 hours)
4pm – feeding
8pm – feeding
8:15pm – bed
If she doesn't sleep through the night, I would not wake her but feed her as needed.
I would try to do at least 2 of the 3 naps but would definitely have one in the morning and one in the afternoon.

If/when she is on a 4 hour schedule, it may look something like this:
7am – awake and feeding
9/9:30am – nap (1.5-2 hours)
11am – feeding
1/1:30pm – nap (1.5-2 hours)
3pm – feeding
5pm - nap (1 - 1.5 hours)
7pm – feeding
8pm – bed
This is generally the schedule that my daughter has been on for a few months. The evening nap does not always happen.

Once she starts taking naps, the start time of the naps may shift a little based on how long she typically sleeps. For example, if she only naps for an hour or so, the nap should start an hour to an hour and a half before her next feeding. If she typically naps about 2 hours, the nap should start about 2 to 2.5 hours before her next feeding.

It may be difficult at first trying to get her on a schedule. She may cry the entire time she should be napping, etc. We also put our kids down for naps and bed awake so that they could learn to fall asleep on their own. Sometimes my youngest has issues with going to bed so occassionally I will walk her to sleep.

My thought is that it is not only a good thing for children to have good sleep habits/routine but it also gives you time to get things done as well.

As for when to move her out of your room, I would suggest maybe doing it gradually over the next few weeks. I don't know if the bassinet is easy to move but I would suggest having her take her naps in one room and sleep at night in the other room. My initial thought was to nap in your room so your daughter can play, etc. in the shared room during the day and then have them sleep at night together. The only down side of this is if the baby gets up regularly at night and may disturb your older daughter.

Good luck!!

You might try reading "The Happiest Baby on The Block". It will help get you on a schedule and quickly get your daughter to sleep through the night in her own bed. It's not for everyone (co-sleepers, etc.) but it worked wonders for us.

C.-

She is just way too young to be on any kind of normal (for her) timetable. She has barely been born, she is still establishing major growth and needs YOU very close to her at all times, so what you are doing sounds right on!

Here is a great article in case anyone tries to tell you to impose some harsh timetable on her, to give you strength to 'listen to your baby and your heart to know the right answer':

http://parentingbabytosleep.blogspot.com/2008/03/damage-o...

The above 'expert' has a TON of great articles (research) and links to support you mama, great luck, enjoy, kiss, hug, breathe in your new baby and no worries...she just needs you, you and more you to survive!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008
The Damage of Cry it out and Controlled Crying

My interpretation of when people ask "what is the damage of cry it out?" is that they are wanting a scientific one stop answer which is what we would get if we were dealing with something like gravity that is a yes or no answer.
If I drop this apple will it will fall to the ground? Yes.

When we really can not get that single answer when dealing with humans - variation, anomalies and just being plain different .
What we are looking at is statistics, history and common out comes.
Many articles I've been reading are authored by people who feel that there is no damage done to babies by using the cry it out/extinction method.
But I believe they are not looking at the adult product.
By that I mean - How does an adult that has had the extinction or cry it out method used on them in their baby hood function as an adult.
These authors I feel are short sited possibly because the outcome is what we (the authors and the general population) want to see. The extinction method does seem to work (for some) which is probably why it was so heavily used (pushed by originations like Plunket and even shortsighted doctors) in the 30's 40's 50's and 60's.
But this it where science and behavioral science is starting to come in now (well it was back then too but the net was not around then to share its information) and also statistics, research into the human brain as well as the many health issues we (mostly) western peoples seem to be suffering from…obesity, depression, anxiety, panic, fear, anger, frustration, self worth, communication problems…these issues are growing causing more problems for not just the adult but many others around this adult.

Look at a few short bits from
Jan Hunt Naomi Aldort (just because we've forced them to sleep does not mean they have really learnt to sleep well)
Something I've learnt from Jan Naomi and Pam Leo is if you fill a child's need now they will not have that burning need for life. Like that friend of yours that is looking for a life partner but can never find the right one - its all part of it.
But that is looking at the Adult and the dysfunctional problems that they have…what about the child?

"...As the unconnected child gets older, much of his time is spent in misbehavior, and he is on the receiving end of constant reprimands; or he tunes out and seems to live in his own separate world. This child becomes known as sullen, a brat, a whiner, or a spoiled kid. These undesirable behaviors are really coping strategies the child uses in search of a connection. The unconnected child doesn't know how to regain a sense of well-being because he has no yardstick to measure attachment. He has difficulty finding a connection because he isn't sure what he lost…" for the full article see this link

Miss behavior is often thought by many as just a part of childhood or the parents say they have got a problem child…there are many more issues to be named in here.
While I do believe that there are some kids who are genuinely hyped up or have a little silver streak in them I do not believe that the numbers we are seeing today are all due to genetics and misfiring body chemicals.

Please see my post on Emotional Disturbance to explain my ideas in this area.
So while there may not be a firm yes or a firm no in the question does cry it out/extinction or controlled crying do damage to your child there are MANY MANY well educated people and organizations who have been finding links to the way we treat children will be the way they perform for us as parents and the way they perform with others for the rest of their life as adults.

babywise worked for us. eat, play, sleep. repeat. she slept through the night from 2 months on, and we always knew what to plan on.

If you get up at the same time each day that will help, but at her young age a set schedule will be a little difficult. Once she is 3 mos old or so it will be easier. The routine will happen naturally when you are doing the same things each day. Give her bath, lunch, dinner, play time the same each day. She will catch on.