Question About Adoption

Updated on August 07, 2011
S.T. asks from Liberty, MO
11 answers

hello ladies, how are we all on this saturday evening??? so, i have always wanted to adopt a child. we have been blessed with 3 wonderful sons. i would like to someday, if we could ever afford it, adopt a little girl. so, for those of you who have adopted children, or know other who have, does it really cost 10's of thousands of dollars??? how do you do about finding an agency or what about "private adoption", what does that mean??? we could never afford to pay so much money, so maybe we will never be able to, but i would appreciate some general info. i know where my hubby works they have a program that helps with adoption, i think the financial aspect, but will have to check that out. any help or advice, stories anything would be appreciated!!

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answers from St. Louis on

My parents gave me no indication that it cost a lot, nor did are one friend who adopted. I never actually asked them how much cause it would have been kinda awkward just after we found out their son and I were adopted through the same agency. It would have felt like so how much did I cost my parents. :-/

Anyway, the agency would be Catholic Charities. I know they are national and so far as I know not expensive. They are picky mind you and there is a waiting list but I don't think it is pricey.

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answers from Des Moines on

You should look into adopting from your state foster care system. What a great way to give a child a wonderful gift and a gift for your family as well. You can become licensed pre-adoptive home. YOu will have the chance to talk about what children you will accept into your home and I think (varies by state) that you can say you only wish to adopt (so, kids whose parental rights have been terminated and they are legally free from adoption) or you can be foster/adoptive which means that you accept children as foster children and if their parents are unable to have them returned to their care, then you can pursue adoption of that child if you wish. You won't get a perfect newborn baby girl (well, you may if you do foster care, I suppose) but what a precious role to play in a child's life.

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answers from Boston on

Hi! We adopted internationally 9 years ago and yes it's expensive but at the time domestic was even more --like double the fees....And each state has different Massachusetts , you need to have your home study done by an agency..we went thru Wide Horizons for children -- wonderful to work with--and we stayed with them for placement and for postadoptive and all the other legal stuff and used their lawyers (agency doesn't want to get screwed either so they will look for your interests as well as theirs)....You could also check into adopting thru your state's fostercare system which is usually alot less expensive or even free...and great if you're OK with not necessarily adopting an infant...Good luck...our little guy was almost 9 months old when we picked him in the Philippines and well worth all the fees and paperwork and the waiting ...Hope this helpsagain, good luck with whatever you decide...
PS Catholic Charities no longer does Adoptions in Massachusetts and 11 years ago they told us they had a 3 year waiting for the home study alone and shortly thereafter they stopped doing adoptions here

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answers from Los Angeles on

Adoption can cost between $10,000 and $45,000. My sister and BIL had been approved to adopt a little Korean girl over 10 years ago, and they then found out they were unexpectedly (and happily) pregnant. They decided to give another family an opportunity to adopt her, which she was, but at that time were looking at a cost of about $18,000.

One option for financial adoption assistance I'm aware of is Show Hope, established in 2003 as Shaohannah’s Hope by Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth, (and named after their first adopted daughter.) It was initially founded out of their desire to see more children find their way into families. Many families they talked to wanted to adopt, but the financial costs of adoption were too high, so now through adoption assistance grants, Show Hope offers financial assistance to those in need to adopt orphans from 40 different countries, including the U.S. ~ for information and to apply for a grant ~ for referrals to other adoption assistance ~ for adoption assistance covering all aspects from start to finish

Hope this helps, God bless.

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answers from Bloomington on

As someone who has seriously looked into adoption (but is beyond broke atm)... A domestic (USA newborn) adoption can cost anywhere between 10 grand and 30 grand. Independent/Private adoptions can be cheaper because there are no agency fees, but still probably not less than 10 grand. There would be birth mother fees and lawyer fees, both yours and the birth mom's lawyer that you would pay for. Counseling fees etc. An agency while costing more, will take care of the counseling, manage the birthmom fees etc.. The lawyer would be a separate fee, but I don't think the birthmom needs a lawyer if going through an agency.

This year and I think next year, you do get a tax credit for adoption, 13,000 I think.

As some have mentioned, adoption from foster care/foster to adopt. That version would be virtually free, if going through an agency might be a fee, but still a lot cheaper. 2 Grand maybe.

Agency, private or foster adoption, you are still needing a homestudy done. An agency will take care of that and the fee is included in their price. If foster care it should be free. If private adoption, you'd have to pay for one, usually about 2 grand.

Google Adoption Agencies in "name of town" and most of their websites will tell you how much they charge.

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answers from Dallas on

I have not personally adopted. However, my family and my best friend have. Through an're looking at 10,000 +. International, is much more expensive. Private adoption, is where an agency is not involved. Usually an adoption attorney is used, for that. Those are not always recommended. An agency (a reputable one) is there to protect you, and there is not a whole lot of protection in a private adoption. There are adoption grants out there, but they are pretty hard to snag. You have to work really hard and be diligent to get one. My family and friend used the same agency. They both found out about the agency, through friends who had adopted. (It's called Holt. ) The both adopted internationally. They found it was incredibly diffucult to adopt in our country, they spent more money and went international. Now, there are some real unique difficulties with international, as well. Your best best (In my opinion) is to speak with an agency and get as much information you can about adoption laws and policies.

My friend did look into Catholic Charities, and their estimated costs are $20,000 +, as soon as 2 years ago.

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answers from Philadelphia on

I will try and keep this short and let you know you are more than welcome to email me privately if you have more questions. The process for everyone is different. First remember that there is a tax credit that you get back a chunk of money. When we adopted it was about 10k. Now its almost 13k I know they are dropping it but there will still be a credit the quick and dirty on this is that you claim the credit for the year you adopted. Now this being said it is good for us adopting parents BUT a lot of agencies have now started to charge more. That being said we completed two domestic adoption and each was under 10k after the tax credit, this included home study fees, agency fees, birth mother expenses, lawyers fees ect. Our adoptions were wonderful experiences our first we met our birth mom via the phone on a wed, she chose us and called us Thursday, our son was born Sunday and we arrived Monday and she put him in my arms. Our daughter was a little different. We met with her birth mom during Christmas break and flew out the end of Jan for her birth. I was in the delivery room when she was born and for the most part we had a great experience. We chose open adoption and it has been great! In keeping this short as promised, not every adoption is like this. If you are looking for the perfect blue eyed blond haired baby girl it can be expensive. You need to know your rights (pretty much none) as well as birth moms rights (pretty much all on her side). Things vary from state to state. California is a total pain to adopt from, although they terminate rights and finalize the state allows a birthmom to come back up to 3 years after the birth and fight to get the baby back, now this rarely happens but it is something to think about. Oklahoma was wonderful. Some states allow what is called a facilitator and they can help and there are a few wonderful ones out there. A dear friend adopted as a single dad from the state and he waited a long long time but he had a 6 month old placed with him as a foster to adopt and now he will be 5. Its really what you are comfortable with! Again please feel free to email me and I can give you the info I have! Good luck

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answers from Austin on

Yeah I think it may vary between states. What I'd do is try to look up info online or contact an adoption agency or attorney that specializes in adoption to find out the most current information. I know that you hafta have attorney fees & prob adoption fees also. I think your best bet is to contact the adoption agency. You can do a general search online. Good luck!!

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answers from Kansas City on

I live in MO and have adopted. There are several types. You can foster/adopt from Missouri Division of Family Services, and this is for free. You don't pay anything. You would have to foster the child for 6 months and then can adopt.

A private adoption is one that is set up between you and a birthmother. It is usually arranged by an attorney or an adoption agency. These can rage in price from $10K up to $40K depending on what the B-Mom asks for in help with housing, etc. There are many agencies that assist in this type of work.

We started with MO DFS, got nowhere (however, others have done well with this route), went overseas and waited for two years with no results. I finally found a woman in Colorado Springs, CO who puts together adoptive parents and birthmother/babies. I hired her in Jan, 2007 (her fee was $2K) and got a call in April, 2007 that there was a baby born (on the ground) in OK City and if we wanted her we had to get on the road immediately. We went and I now have a beautiful 4 year old. We worked with a private adoption attorney in OK to handle the legal work. The attorney's fee was $23K

The bottom line is if you want to adopt, you will find a way to finance it. Whether it be free through DFS, or to pay a private attorney/agency. A lot of folks take out home equity loans, have fundraisers, sell things on eBay...where there's a will, there's a way. Also remember, there are tax incentives available. You can also get a tax credit through your husband's FLEX/Cafeteria plan, and yes, take advantage of the adoption subsidy your husband's company offers.

I am a huge proponent of adoption. In the adoption community, we say that your baby will find you. Mine certainly found me. Good luck!

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answers from Oklahoma City on

Call your local child welfare office and inquire about being a foster family. If you do this there are often children who will eventually be put up for adoption and they go to the families that fostered them first. The state also pays all the fees for the adoption. In Oklahoma they even continue to support those adopted children in some ways after the adoption is in place.

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answers from Kansas City on

I do know that in the state of Kansas there is a tax credit that you get from the government after you have adopted. For the tax year 2010 I think it was about $13,000 per child depending on your income from federal and also a credit from Kansas. It changes every year. It doesn't help up front but can help after the adoption. Check out federal tax form 8839 and read up on it or ask your tax person. Hope this helps. Good luck.

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