Anyone have suggestions on the later and later bed times for a staller? When we come right down to going to bed, she says she's hungry. I'm sure she is not hungry, she is stalling. I try to have her drink water, but that doesn't always go over well. I'm sure its a matter of starting the bedtime routine sooner, but that is not always an option.
I am a working mom that would rather have good times with my kids instead of the crying and the carrying on about the little things.
Thanks for all the advice! I am starting to try and remember to feed her something small before bedtime and brushing teeth. So far we've only had a couple hiccups, but for the most part its been working. I will try out the reward system, I think that's a great strategy too.
Before you get her into her bed, cover all of the bases so that when the magical time comes, there is nothing else that she could possibly need. Then don't let her manipulate her with her whining. Be firm. She will learn that when you say it is time for bed, you mean it. No more conversation either, keep putting her back in her bed without dialog. Keep up the good work, it does pay off! Mother of 5
Push the bedtime routine back about 15 minutes so that you can account for that stalling.
Explain to her that dinner time is when she eats and if she doesn't eat, then she has to wait until breakfast to eat again.
Don't give into the snacks. Leave some water by her bed but don't make a big fuss of giving it to her.
Give her time to unwind, but give her time reminders, for example say "in 5 minutes, I am going to start reading you your books", "this is your 2 minute warning to start putting your toys away and come over to your bed", "now it's time to start reading your good night stories so if you want to hear them, I would come over and we can snuggle and read", etc etc.
I have one of those and he is getting more and more clever by the day =:)
I too had a terrible staller. What I started doing and still do (she is 7 now), I tell her when she has 30 minutes till bed, then 15, then 10, once we get to 5 then it is right down to 1 minute. She knows that she has this time to get something to eat and re-brush her teeth, or ask for a book or even cuddle time. If she goes over her time limit and is late for bed then she has to go to bed that much earlier the next night. Also she knows she was given her time to ask - so she can't start begging then when she goes down.
This worked great for us. Also helped her with counting down and keeping time. Works great with a digital clock.
My daughter and niece did the same thing. Like you, I wasn't in for the argument @ bedtime, so I would started actually feeding her before bed. She scarfed it down! My niece and my daughter would eat a bowl of cereal, or grapes or cheese before bed. Not a huge helping, a small portion. It was enough to solve the hunger pangs, and they were off to bed. Just an idea! I know it's annoying to open the kitchen back up at that time of the day, but it does do the trick.
The more you allow it the more creative she'll get. My kids clean their rooms, get jammies on and brush their teeth right after dinner so when it's time for bed they go potty and get a story and it's off to bed. We don't allow any eating or drinking after dinner because then they will pee the bed. The more routine you get the more she'll realize that it's not worth the bother because you won't give in.
Best Wishes,
J.
Mom of 4 going on 5.
My 4 yo can have a piece of string cheese right before he goes to bed. However, he has learned that once teeth are brushed for the night there will be NO more snacks. I keep a cup of water on his dresser in case he gets thirsty. Then it is pjs, books, and snuggle. Negotiations are not allowed, but I will occasionally allow one special request (like to be rocked in the rocking chair or one more hug/kiss). Over the years we have various times where he tests the limits but we have stuck to the rules and he allows gets back into it.
We posted a bedtime chart from Brite Music (but you can make your own) that has a path of stars that have bedtime preperation steps on them (pajamas, brush teeth, drink, potty, etc.) outside of his bedroom. He would start at the bottom and move his marker up to to the next star every time he accomplished a task until he got to the top. Here's the most important part: If he had everything done by a certain time (for us it was 7:30)m gets in bed, and STAYS there he would get a point. When he got 7 points in a row for getting ready in time and staying in bed 7 CONSECUTIVE nights, he would get a prize (we gave him a paper dollar since he earns his own money to pay for extra toys that he wants). There were some tearful nights when he didn't get his point and had to start all over, but we hardly ever have a problem now and he still gets a dollar almost every week. Good luck!
I am also a mother of a staller. Some things that have worked for us is giving a five minute warning. This is when she gets her snack and drink or whatever it may be. Also we have started putting her to bed earlier, how ever many minutes she stalled the night before. Which has worked really nice for us. Hope this helps, I know how frustrating it can be.
My daughter has been a staller forever. Still @ 4, she still isn't good about going to bed. Here's what we did, I hope it helps you.
When she was 2, we explained that we were going to start a new bedtime process and she can't get out of bed or call to mom and dad unless it was an emergency. (like being hurt or going potty) If we had to go to her room and we found a non emergency situation, we would shut her door (which she hates) Then, if she called again,we would shut off her nightlight. (Which she REALLY hates) Then, we made a ticket and gave it to her that allows her to get out of bed ONE time free, and after she uses her ticket (We actually take it), then the rules above apply. We only had to follow through on it once and she understood that we were serious about the new bedtime process. Occasionally, she tests us a bit by getting out of bed, but all we have to do is threaten the door shut, and she stays in bed. She seldom falls asleep right away, but she stays in bed which is good for us and gives us the time we need in the evenings. We give her a little pile of books (which she picks out, and sometimes, they are the ones that we just finished reading to her). She can look at them before getting sleepy and always falls asleep with a book in her lap.
Hope this helps.
I had a bedtime staller. What I found worked best was to give a small snack before bed time, a drink, Bathroom, then she lays in bed and I read her a story then lights out. Since we started with this routine she has stopped stalling. We have to stick to the routine otherwise she starts her stalling.
