5 Year Old Son's Bedtime Is Midnight

Updated on May 07, 2013
M.M. asks from Pittsburgh, PA
7 answers

our sched starts at 6 pm with dinner, milk, stories, brush teeth, and then HE DECIDES TO POOP, and he poops for 1 hour he keeps saying he's not done until an hour pass, then when in bed, after 1 hour of trying to sleep he says, I have to poop again, another hour -- boom, it's like he knows the time -- he sleeps at midnight instead of 9 pm
help please mom, this is torture
Also, he does not poop all day long he says hedoes not feel like it he does poop 2x at night before midnight so I do not want to deny him of pooping since I know he really does poop at this time-2x an hour apart each time
His poop is not the constipated type (sorry for the tmi) since he gets a lot of fiber during the day, I make him a smoothie daily of an apple, spinach, carrots, bananas mixed with skim milk and ice and he loves that so it's not a constipation issue it's like he trained his body to do this -this way to prolong his awakefulness but I cannot say 'don't poop" because he does poop and it's the only time he poops, this schedule though is truly torture for me so if you have any ideas pls help

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Portland on

I urge you to plan a schedule and stick with it. What he's claiming is not reasonable unless he has a health issue, perhaps chronic constipation. I would not let him sit on the toilet for an hour. If he doesn't go in the first 10 minutes he's not going to go. Take him off the toilet and put him to bed.

You know that he poops twice before midnight. This means he needs to be trained to poop earlier in the day. I would not be so sure it's not a constipation issue. If he's trained himself to not respond to his bodies signal during the day he's constipated. Then when he focuses on needing to go his body responds. It sounds like he's holding it until night time.

Treat this similar as potty training. Take him to the toilet and have him sit there 10 minutes or so. Only 10 minutes. Do this several times during the day if he's with you.

Know that we all naturally poop within an hour or so after we eat. So take him to the toilet then. I also suggest that if he didn't poop so late at night he'd poop first thing in the morning. If he's not with you during the day, get him up earlier, feed him, and sit him on the toilet. Feed him and put him on the toilet when you get him home. Put him on the toilet every hour until he poops. Change his routine.

You don't mention fluids. He needs to drink several glasses of liquid during the day. His poop needs to be soft in order for him to poop easily. What is the texture of his poop? If it's really firm or in more than 2 pieces I suggest he needs more liquid in his diet.

I would talk with the pediatrician about giving him Miralax until you're able to get him on a different more reasonable schedule. Talk with the doctor about this.

I suggest that if you make changes to his routine he can be trained to poop earlier in the day. A part of this is to think about whether or not there's an emotional side to this. Has he been in trouble for pooping earlier in the day? Is he afraid to poop while at school? Is pooping an emotional experience for all of you. He'll feel your tension, wanting him to poop and be less able to poop. Deal with the emotional aspects of the situation, too.

I would not think he's doing this to prolong his wakefulness. It is not pleasant to be awakened in the night by the need to poop nor is it pleasant to face your unhappiness. If he's trained himself to only poop at night I suggest that he's found pooping in the daytime an unpleasant experience. Whatever you do make pooping fun. And do not let him sit for an hour or until he poops. Ten minutes and he's off to play. Give him something pleasant to do during those 10 minutes. Perhaps have special books or toys for him.

More liquids. A schedule. Not more than 10 minutes. Make the time pleasant. Do not show frustration or irritation.

I read a previous post of yours stating that you son has been diagnosed with high functioning autism and ADHD. Both of these conditions can cause difficulty with bowel movements. He may not even feel the need to have a movement until his intestines get more full. I suggest that you talk with his therapists and/or his pediatrician about this issue.

I googled Pdd nos and bowel difficulties and saw several sites referring to this and bowel difficulties. I suggest that you get professional help in learning how to deal with this.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I think he's realized you won't risk an accident so you let him try for an hour. Instead, you take charge. Let him sit there for 10 minutes. If he hasn't pooped, then he doesn't need to. Continue with the bed time routine. If he says he's not tired say he can lay quietly in his bed but cannot get up or get out of bed. If he gets up to "poop", give him 5 minutes and take him back to bed. I would call his bluff and let him have a messy accident rather than have him sit in the bathroom for an hour.

He is probably overtired and needs to start winding down for bed earlier. If he gets up out of bed, take him back. Say only, "it is time for bed" once and then after that simply take him back and put him in his bed. Over and over. No attention. He will get the hint that he is not to get up.

If he is constipated, change his diet. Encourage him to eat fruit, fiber and drink water. If my DD is constipated, blueberries usually do the trick, or a glass of water.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B..

answers from Dallas on

Yikes! I bet it's torture. I'd start with the pooping issue. Some pear juice, prunes or grapes or all three. Cut down on the milk or milk products. You need to clean him out during the daytime. If those things don't make him go then call his ped. He should not be on the potty for an hour.

After you have taken away that power play, you can deal with bedtime issues. Don't start bedtime stuff so early. Start with an 7:30-8:00 getting ready. Then he goes to bed, he can choose to look at books but he must stay in his bed.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Detroit on

Are you kidding me? Is this a joke? He sits for an entire hour on the toilet to poop, 2 different times? Tell him right after dinner he gets 10 minutes to poop and if nothing happens after those 10 minutes, that's it! Is he constipated? Does he need a change in his diet to make it easier/quicker for him to go? Have you discussed this with his pediatrician? Get him in the habit of sitting and trying for 10 minutes after breakfast too if he needs to be more regular! But I would not allow him to drag out the bedtime routine for this long!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D..

answers from Miami on

Ditto what the other ladies have said. I would almost venture to put a little potty chair in his room at night for him to get up and use, rather than letting him go out of his room, and you NOT get up with him. Once he is sitting there in the dark on a 3 year old's potty chair in his room, he will start deciding that it's boring doing this all by himself, and stop doing it.

I think that he is trying his hardest to stay up and using this as an excuse, and has trained his body this way. Take away your attention and his ability to leave his bedroom, and he'll train his body a different way. This way, you leave it all up to him and take the "struggle" out of it.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.F.

answers from Boston on

Well because I like My sleep. I would be changing the clocks around him and start at 4 pm getting him to bed. If he as to poop, let him poop and go back to bed. I would not be waiting until midnight for anyone.

I love the idea of putting a little potty in his room.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from Miami on

You first need to go to the pediatrician and find out why he's holding his bowels all day long. That is not good for him. Your doctor can recommend ways to get him on a different schedule.

As for the bedtime issues... put him to bed earlier. He's stalling. No child needs to sit there for an hour on the toilet (unless there is a medical issue). If your evening routine starts at 6, there is no reason why he can't be in bed by 8:30.

6:00 Dinner
6:30 Play time
7:00 bath and brush teeth
7:30 Potty (let him sit there until he goes)
8:30 Stories and sleep

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions