Potty Training and Losing Momentum

Updated on January 16, 2013
S.A. asks from Bremerton, WA
9 answers

My son will be 3 in 2 months and he has been doing really well with potty training. But lately it seems like we haven't made any progress and it seems like he has more accidents than going in the potty. Any advice on how to get back on track? I'm so frustrated. It could be that he still wears diapers part of the day? Maybe it's confusing him? He does wear a diaper during nap time and bed time.

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So What Happened?

We decided that after his current diaper supply runs out, we're going to put him in pullups at nap time and bed time and underwear for the rest of the day.

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L.F.

answers from Dallas on

I'm having the same issues with my 2.5 year old. I'm just going with the flow (no pun intended) right now. Much can change in a short amount of time when they are this age. In just a few weeks/months he may decide he is ready to stop wetting himself. good luck!

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Get rid of the diapers during the day. It is confusing him.

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I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

None of my kids progressed steadily with potty training. It was always one step forward two steps back. I decided to be more hands off and let them take it at their own pace. After all, i'm not washing cloth diapers so whats the big rush? I don't see a problem with regression. He'll progress when he's ready. Go back to reading his potty books for some inspiration.
If it makes you feel any better, my two and a half year old insists on panties then proceeds to poop in them. But I know that as she watches my reaction to cleaning panties and what a production it is, she is learning. My oldest never had accidents, but refused both pull ups and panties and tell she was good and ready to use the toilet.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

You need to ditch the diapers and keep in mind that development isn't linear. Get some Gerber trainers.

He will regress before moving forward. My kids had terrible regressons right before they poop and night trained. Also, it is unreasonable to expect them to just become 'fully" trained. They will have accidents due to distraction and not timing things right, etc. Our job is just to say 'pee and poop' go in the potty.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

He needs to wear a pull up at nap time and in bed unless you want to add a lot of cost to your monthly bills for adding laundry.

He should be doing well with wearing both. It's not confusing him, he is just a little kid and isn't totally ready for this.

I can truthfully say that most kids who are "trained" during the winter months aren't going to do much progress until spring sets in. I am not totally sure why but kids just don't do well when they start during cold months. They just go for it in the warmer months and it works.

So I'd probably just do pull ups all day so I didn't have to do more laundry and add all that work and extra cost to my budget. Then once it warms up I'd go for it with just underwear if he's doing well at all.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Consider swapping to pull ups for those times. My DD wears a pull up when she is sleeping and I just explained that when she is asleep, her body doesn't always tell her she needs to go. She's nearly 4.5 and talks about when she'll be able to keep on her big girl underwear at night. I told her that we'd try it during Spring Break...when if we need to give her a bath it won't ruin our schedule.

I would remind him to use the potty at times you think he might need to go. After/before meals, after waking, before bed or bath, before you head out. My DD went through a period of accidents in school that was maddening, but she got past it. Make sure he's not sick and not fighting a UTI or anything.

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R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would ditch the diapers. They're a crutch, if he pees the diaper wicks it away, so accidents are no biggie. Cloth, he'll feel the wet. Keep him in undies and pants loose enough to get down easily and quickly. My guy wears pants that adjust at the waist so I adjust them to where they stay up but can be pulled down and back up with no problems at home and at preschool. Take him potty (don't ask, he'll say he doesn't need to go) at regular intervals until it's a regular practice on his own.

To get him fully trained you might want to offer a "power incentive," something to spur him along. Not prizes or treats every time he goes, rather something to encourage him to want to train. My guy resisted pooping in the potty and toilet, I offered one to my guy and he was literally running to poop on the potty within a little over a day. The concept is explained here along with other helpful advice:
http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

Praise him like crazy for successes, he'll get there!

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D..

answers from Miami on

The way to get him back on track is to stop stressing about it and stop being frustrated. He knows it. He feels it. It makes him stressed.

He cannot hold his urine while he is sleeping. Don't even expect it of him. Daytime and night time toilet training are two totally different animals.

You can put big boy pants on him during the day and pullups during his nap so that he can feel wetness. When he has an accident, don't make a big deal of it. Help him change his clothes. Don't go beyond that AT ALL. Just let him go at his own pace.

Don't even try night time training until he is totally daytime trained. Remember that part of night time training is chemically induced up in his BRAIN. You can't force that or hurry it.

Dawn

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

You can potty train a couple different ways. So, if what you are doing isn't working for your son, I would definitely try something else. Maybe back off for a couple weeks and then re-introduce. That will lesson his confusion.

I can tell you what I did.... which was to back off and let my daughter lead the way. But, once we went undies..... we were DONE with diapers. My daughter was pretty verbal, though. We were able to have conversations about what it was all about. I told her to tell me when she wanted to change into undie-pants, which she had seen at Day Care on another girl.
When she was ready, she said "no more diapers" and we changed to undies. She had 2 or 3 accidents, but that was really it.

Because I let HER own the process. I dangled a carrot (the princess undie-pants), I was consistent with consequences.... if you have an accident, you help clean up and then we move on and try next time.

I am against reward systems or punishments for potty training. You will have parents suggest BOTH. Did you reward for walking? Talking? Sitting up? Eating? Did you punish when he stumbled? Said a word wrong? NO, of course not. Those are PHYSICAL milestones. They are just something they are expected to do and they WILL do eventually (unless there is an actual issue). If you reward or punish you are giving them a choice. This is the FIRST opportunity they have to really really exercise CONTROL.... and if you attach power and emotion to potty training they will use it.

So, I would back off the actual pottying and wait until HE decides he's ready. Then go full -force. No more diapers during the day.

Good Luck

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