Potty Time! - York,PA

Hi H.,

Here are two websites:

http://www.cdadc.com/ds/potty_training.htm

http://www.pottytrainingadvice.org/article.aspx?ld=14

Hope this helps. D.

I've found with my son that I have to be patient with him, I don't want to push the idea & have him not want to do it. I've been working with him, just getting him to use the potty at least once a day. He was doing well with that for a week or two. Then yesterday I told him no more diapers, he's too big & if he uses the potty all week for me that I'll get him the spiderman scooter he wants. Yesterday he did amazingly well. He used the potty all day long, I only had to put him in a diaper at night. Hopefully today will be the same! I did the same thing with my daughter, who is now 6. I just picked a day & stopped using diapers. To wet your pants is a different feeling than wetting a diaper/pull-up. I would try that & lots of encouragement & praise.

I have elmo's potty time for my son... he is young not two yet, but since he started watching this video we have moved to training pants... maybe it will help? I got it at barnes and nobel. We read potty books too.

Have you tried to explain to him that no one in pre k will be wearing them? Maybe that will kickstart some motivation? I know this may be tough but what if you just got rid of the pull ups and told him there is no other option? Good luck.

Hi H.

I think that you might just have to try putting him in undies and planning on staying home for about a week. He's 4, he won't like constantly getting wet. Make it a big deal when he goes on the potty, I think a small reward for every success if a great motivator, my son got an M&M for every time he peed on the potty, even if it was only the tiniest bit, and even if he started to wet and then made it to the potty for the rest. If he has/had an accident, I would tell him he has to get changed because he can't stay in wet clothes. He changes himself and has to get the dirty clothes into the hamper. I didn't scold him for accidents, I'd say utoh you had an accident, make sure you get to the potty next time or ask Mommy to help. This worked in less than a week for us. Although, distractions are still sometimes a problem, new toys, vacation, things like that are more interesting than stopping and going to the potty.
Will his preschool take him in pull ups? I was told no by several places before my son was peeing on the potty. If not, explaining to him that he can not go to school until he can pee in the potty may help. Good luck.

Hi H.,
I personally love Brandi's advice first and foremost.

You definitely want to make this a positive experience and a reward system might help. My daughter is only two, but I can share what I do with her; she's pretty much trained now and it's been a little less than 2 months.

My DD was excited about potty training; once she was actually ON the potty. Getting her there was another story and getting her to say she needed to go was a nightmare. So, instead of fighting with her and making everything negative, I made a reward chart. She has five areas that were hard for us; 1) She will say when she needs to go potty and be dry when we get there 2) She will tinkle/poop in the potty (she was sometimes saying she had to go to get out of doing another task, then would sit there for eternity) 3)She will walk to the bathroom to go potty when asked, without arguement 4) She will wash her hands correctly (no water throwing, soap everywhere, washing up to her elbows, etc) 5) She will open her mouth to let me brush her teeth without arguement.

So, after she uses the potty, we check her chart to see which of these things she accomplished (if they applied). If she did well, she earns a bean for each task (I use dry kidney beans). Most of the time she is getting three beans....one for getting to the potty, one for using it and one for hand washing. Then we count the beans as she puts them into her own special container (a plastic snack cup). When she gets ten beans, she gets a "special treat". I origionally started potty training with a reward of raisins. One for tinkle, two for poop, three for exceptionally good behavior and use of the potty. However, once I put the chart in place, I moved to M&M's. I don't love using candy, but I only give her 5 pieces after she's earned 10 beans and I think we'll be done with the whole thing soon.

All in all, the chart has been in effect for about a week and a half and a total attitude turn around has happened. Her success rate in every area soared by day 2.

Reward charts can be used at any age for almost any skill. It doesn't have to take a lot of time, expense, or effort, but can give you HUGE payoffs.

The only other thing I can say is that I didn't use pull ups. I thought about it initially, but then read that the SuperNanny doesn't recommend them and thinks they impede progress in training (who can argue with Jo Jo!). Also, I only use a diaper at nap time and overnight and she is in panties the rest of the day.

Don't fret....this will come. One of my close friend's was in the same boat....her son went to kindergarten and was still not using the potty. He went to school for a few days and was "cured" of diapers! Your son will get there too.

Good luck!

Ditto what Brandi posted.
Also, my son loved the book "Once Upon A Potty" (get the boy version--it's gender-specific).
Maybe you should consider NEVER using the pull-ups during the day--only at night. He might be confused. It will mean more clean-up, reminding, asking from you but it might work.

hi sad to say i too have 4 year old who refuses to use the potty unless i force her to. if i sit her on it and tell her she has to try then she usually goes but sometimes she is just stubborn. she has no problem going in her pants/underwear so i don't know what to do. it got to be so bad i had to go back to wearing pull ups for going out of the house because of all the accidents. i hope you have better luck than i do.

Hi H.,
The first thing to do is talk to your pediatrician to make sure nothing medical is going on. If that has been ruled out here are some ideas to try:

1. Chill for a bit. Dylan may me feeling a lot of pressure at this point and just fears failure.
2. Let him know that the potty is there when he is ready to use it.
3. When he seems a bit interested you can set up a potty chart or reward system. Make it something pretty great and not necessarily candy or cake. He can choose the weekend activity (thats a good BM reward) or the book, tv show or game for the night. I am not the biggest fan of charts and rewards but when situations get a little intense they can be very helpful
4. Wash new underwear a bunch of times to soften them before your son has to put them on. Some children are sensitive to new fabrics on their skin.
5. Put him in underwear and if he has a pee accident he is responsible to get changed. NOT A PUNISHMENT. It is about taking responsibly for actions. "Oooo honey looks as though you are a bit wet and it is not ok to have wet clothes on our skin. Its ok, let me get your clothes so you can change."

I hope some of these ideas help.

B. Davis

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A friend of mine had this same problem and used cheerios to fix the problem. Sounds a bit wierd but it worked! She would drop a few cheerios in the toilet and her son would "aim" for them. He thought it was the coolest thing ever. Within about 2 weeks, he had no more accidents and he was using the potty like a pro.

Bite the bullet and never buy another pull-up again! Do as one other poster said, put him in undies and don't go anywhere for a week. You can be positive and offer rewards but remember...he only has a choice in what reward he gets,NOT the choice whether or not to be potty trained! At age 4 it's time to be in undies.

When my grandson moved in with me he was 4 and never potty trained. I went through the same thing I even tried the music potty he loved it to play the music but not to use. What worked for me was a stool and a potty set that went on the big toilet. "which he picked out" I had to take the pull up away because he would not use the toilet if he had a choice, but he did not like to be wet. "never get mad when he messes his pants" Say thats ok lets find some new underware that you would like to wear. I would ask about ever 1 to 2 hours, lets try to go potty, maybe read a book while he sat on the toilet. Give him some toilet paper that he can hold to use when he is finished, and some fun soap for washing his hands when he is done. This worked for me, he liked that he could do this himself. I would go in the bathroom and wash my hands or do something so I would make sure he was ok until he got it.