Pottty Training

It took us a good 6 months or so to be fully successful at potty training my daughter. Trust you're instincts, you know better then anyone else. At one point we reverted back to pull ups during the day (got tired of cleaning up accidents), and then went back when I got tired of buying pull-ups. It just takes some kids more time and more patience (sp?) on our end. Hang in there, he'll be done before kidnegarden.

We have the same issue. When we first started potty training, and for long time now, we have to remind him to go. We started training in March. He was 27 months. For a long time, if we didn't take him (many times under duress), he wouldn't stop playing and would have an accident. We're finally starting (after months and months) to get to the point where he'll tell us several times that he has to go. I still have him go before we leave the house every time, and he has to go if I think it's been too long and he's had a lot to drink, but we're starting to not have to tell him every time. I consider him day-trained even though we have to do this (night, no way) because if we bring him throughout the day every few hours, he won't go in his pants. One of the steps that helped him was when he had an accident while we were out (more recently, not at the beginning of training) and we couldn't change him right away so he was sitting and walking with wet pants. He didn't like that at all, so it's gotten better. Stick with it, and give it time. Your son sounds like he's on his way. Just keep reminding him that pee and poop goes in the potty, not underwear. I wouldn't go back to diapers at all during the awake time of the day because you want him to know you're serious about helping him learn to use the potty. Good luck!

They go through a lot of changes at this point, so it's easy to think that somehow you've failed him. However, you haven't.

Some of my friends who have boys the same age as mine (over 2 1/2, but not quite 3) are jealous because their boys have NO INTEREST whatsoever in learning how to use the potty.

In our son's experience, we reverted back to diapers once (because he knew how to work them). However, now that he has the hang of pulling up the pull-up, he doesn't want to move to regular underwear. We take the approach that he'll let us know when he's ready to move forward with that step.

You're both doing great! Keep using the timer method, it takes some time for them to take the responsibility on themselves by stopping play and remembering to go - that's alot for a 2 yr old! Do not revert back to diapers. Within a few months, he'll start noticing on his own that he needs to go.

He sounds like he's not ready for full training. Many boys are 3+ or more when they get fully trained - my daughter was too & she's a doctor now/very smart but couldn't be bothered to stop what she was doing. I'd gently talk to him about it and go back to nighttime diapers if you need to and either diapers or pull-ups if he's not interested enough to stop playing and go. Keep your tone very sweet, light, and matter of fact. This is not a big deal - don't make it into a big deal or you'll start a long battle. Say something like we tried this and when you're bigger, we'll try it again. let him lead as much as you can. You will hear stories but those moms are not you/your kid. sometimes it does go easy - often it doesn't. It's a big step toward independence and they have to be ready to take it.

No you didn't start too early. However, I'd suggest following an intenstive potty training routine. My favorite is http://www.3daypottytraining.com/pages/help.htm?official

Her system works really well, it trains the child to notice that their body has to go, rather then just going at a set time of day. Its totally worth $25. Plus she has online help if you get stuck.

My oldest was about 22 months when she started talking about going on the potty. We waited until about 2 years old to start, but she had such good bladder control that the first day of training (with a one day method) she held her pee for over 4 hours and with 1 liter of fluids in her system. Once she had her first accident it was really traumatizing. Then the system had her on and off the potty in timed intervals and it just didn't work well for her. She'd hold it and hold it, and we'd KNOW she needed to go and put her on the potty until she'd finally do it, and it could take 20-60 minuets, and we'd be HOLDING her on the potty so she didn't jump off in the middle, and she'd be screaming and kicking. It was aweful. So I started researching for a new method and found the above one. It advised me to wait about a month and go back to diapers, to "reset" her system. In 3 days she was totally potty trained. The first day she went through 20 pair of underwear, the second about 8, the third 2. After that we were good. And this was for night time too.

Best wishes!

This isn't about your failure, L., it's about your son's success. Everything you do to help him get trained is really about supporting him. And that includes timing.

Readiness depends on the body (bladder and sphincters) being ready, the nervous system being mature enough to send the right signals at the right time (and this is VERY complex, because there are different sets of signals and sensations before, during, and after peeing), and the emotional maturity to accept the responsibility to drop what the child is doing to go pee. Also, it helps if the child is able to get his own clothing down in time and back on afterward.

Before all these factors are in place, the parent is the one who's trained and on a schedule of regular reminders and enforcement. So a parent who starts training 7 months before her child is ready will essentially be training for 7 months, or even longer if the child has begun to feel like a failure, or frustrated or resentful of mommy's obsession with making him use the potty.

The parents you're comparing yourself to who had an easier time with training had children who were ready in all three essential areas. When that state of readiness is reached, training can happen in only a few days or a couple of weeks.

Going back to diapers creates great dread in many parents who have already invested weeks or months in training. They're afraid they'll undo the progress to date. But really, what if there is no "progress to date" other than your own investment in time and effort? The "failed" kids I've known about who were allowed to go back to diapers didn't get confused. If anything, they got a few extra weeks or months to sort it all out, learn the signals, and become excited about making this great developmental leap forward.

Kids will train when they're ready. For little boys, this may be quite a bit later than girls, occasionally as late as 4 or so. But quite a few show eagerness and interest by the time they are 3. And when they are willing and interested, it will happen very quickly, without bribes, charts, rewards, or punishment. They will be as motivated to use the potty as they were to learn how to walk and talk.

It's good to be aware that poop training involves different signals and happens separately for many children from pee training. Night training is also later for many kids – they sleep deeply enough that they may not notice full bladder signals reliably until they are well into grade school years.

He doesn't sound physically ready (he wakes up wet) or emotionally ready (doesn't want to interrupt his play). Although I am sure you can "train" him, why set him up for failure and you for frustration. Just as one of your responders mentioned, when a child is very ready the training is within a few days (or less). There is no correlation between the age a child is potty trained and any other meaningful skill. So relax. Every five years the "appropriate age" to begin toilet training changes (and yet we all end up potty trained!)