3 Day Potty Training Not Working

Updated on December 10, 2011
K.S. asks from Arlington Heights, IL
12 answers

I have used the 3 day potty training method for my two older children and it worked like a charm, but now I am on to my third and it is a disaster! We have been at it for 4 days now and she still is having a ton of accidents in her underwear. She says she has to go, then sits on the potty, then gets off, and then soon after goes in her underwear. So I know she can tell she has to go. And the funny part is that for the past two mornings she has woken up dry, called to me that she had to go potty, and then went a full amount! So why can't she do that during the day? I don't know what to do...do I give up and try again in a month or so? I am worried that she will be totally off if we stop, yet I can't keep going with no progress forever! I have to go to work on Monday and have a friend watching her, so I have to figure something out by then or put her back in diapers, which I really don't want to do. Any suggestions? We are doing rewards and getting super excited when she goes in the potty (even if it's after she already started in her underwear). I don't know what else to do - help!

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So What Happened?

Update...today is slightly better. She continues to start to go in her underwear, but then stops, tell me and when I rush her to the potty she does go a little more on the potty.. So I am rewarding her for that and she gets a different reward if she keeps her underwear dry. Oh, and she woke up again this morning completely dry and asking to go to the potty, where she fully emptied. I DO NOT want to go back at this point as I do feel there is progress being made, but I also don't think she will fully have it by Monday. I could send her in underwear and training pants and send a change of clothes if needed. Also, I won't give her anything to drink that morning and hope she goes potty before I have to take her over to my friends. What do you think? You all are right - I definitely don't want to inconvenience my friend as she is doing me a huge favor. And yes, she has kids and one of them she recently tried to potty train unsuccessfully so he is back in diapers for the time being until she tries again. I think she would be ok with it, but I don't want to put her out. I should have waited until after the holidays, but I really thought it would only take 3 days since it went so well with my older two! Btw, my daughter is 28 months old. Thanks for all the suggestions - I really appreciate it as I just feel like I don't know what to do!

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

The three day method did not work with either of my children. My SIL used it and it worked wonders with her older daughter. With her younger daughter she had to give it two tries. It didn't work the first time, so she took two weeks off from the method and went back to it later. I think in between she went to pull ups. For me, I just kept my daughter in panties and put plastic pants over them. Because she had similar issues. SHe would stay dry all night. SHe would also stay completely dry if we left the house. Even if we were gone the entire day. But if we were at home it was accident after accident. We still have a rogue accident around here, but it's gotten much, much better. I was just really consistent with my daughter.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I hate to say this, but earlier this year when I posted some questions on this forum regarding potty training (what people had wished they'd known, what was the best/most frustrating advice), the common answer was "They're ready when they're ready."

You don't say how old your daughter is, but my best and favorite suggestion is that when you are working on using the potty, stick with only training pants. No Pull-Ups, because this does tend to cause confusion.

Also, be sure to *tell her* when to go; don't ask. It is usually the case that if we ask a child, they'll say "no" (even if they do have to go) because they don't want to break off from whatever they're doing.

I'll post a website that I like which has a checklist for assessment of readiness.
http://www.betterkidcare.psu.edu/AngelUnits/OneHour/Toile...

Likely, your 3 day potty book had something similar. I think the main point is that either she's got the necessary abilities AND the interest or she doesn't and you can decide to wait for a while. Good luck.

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M.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I loosely followed this method....and it did not work in 3 days but it did work within the month. What I mean is by the end of a week, I saw progress....I saw the wheels spinning in his head that he was getting the concept. Within 2 weeks, we were doing so much better than week 1. Week 3, we were doing great. Week 4, we were going to amusement parks, zoos etc, in underwear and comfortable that there would not be an accident in the car or during our outing etc. 3 days no, but worth it to keep at it and be trained that month? Absolutely. Good luck.

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J.✰.

answers from San Antonio on

What worked for my son at age 3 plus 5 months - I said to myself "I am sick of diapers. We're running errands in underwear today." So I put him in underwear and off we went. I reminded him that he isn't allowed to pee on the floor of the library or the grocery store. We used the potty before leaving each destination and he had no accidents. He's been great ever since (this was about 3 months ago). In those 3 months he's had a couple accidents, but none were inside a public place (playground or at home).

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

You should not stop and start so if you started and she woke up dry for two days I would say she has the idea and maybe set a timer and take her during the day and have her sit on it until you tell her to get up and then set the timer again. Don't use pull ups and don't revert back. It confuses them and they think it's a choice not something they have to do. If it takes longer than 3 days just keep at it because kids are different too. Can your friend take her to the potty during the time she has her too?

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J.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

I was going to post a similar question so I will wait to hear what people have to say about yours...except we are on week 2!

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

Man, I have to say this... NEVER do pull-ups!! Last month, right after my DD turned 4, I finally told her that Santa wanted her to keep dry. WORKED LIKE A CHARM!!!!!! Then, I had Santa email her to let her know how proud he was of her (www.portablenorthpole.tv) and we have been dry since!
When she's in pull-ups, she just pees in them. In panties, she'll stay dry so we've left them out even for church now. I reminded the teachers to take her and she stayed dry last week. :) I thought she'd be in high school before she potty trained, but I just had to find that "golden ticket" with her.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm not familiar with the three day method, but I can tell you what I did. I'm guessing this may not be very popular...but...here goes. I have a boy and for a couple of days I let him go around the house naked. He absolutely did not want to go to the bathroom on the floor and so when he had to go - he went to the potty. We then went out and got him some underwear and explained how these were special and not meant to be peed on either ... worked like a charm! Maybe I got lucky - but it worked for me.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't know if the friend watching her has kids, has been through the potty training stage with kids or not, etc., but I would definitely talk to her today and explain where you are in the process and that you would not want to put her into diapers or pull-ups at this point; however, I also would listen if that friend sounds hesitant about your child being in her care all day yet unable to use the potty. This friend's doing you a favor, I assume, and if she has other kids around to watch or has to take your daughter with her on errands, etc., it's asking a lot of her to expect her to hover and watch your daughter all day for signs of potty-readiness. If she says, oh, it's fine, we'll be right here at home and I have plenty of time to work with her, then agree with the friend that you can send your little girl to her diaper- and pull-up-less, but be sure the friend is fully on board with that choice.

Frankly, despite the fact I'd usually say don't put a child back into diapers or pull-ups at this point, I would override that in this case with the fact your daughter is staying with someone who is not necessarily buying into helping you potty train. If the friend is balky, you could end up losing a friend, or at least losing that friend's help while you work.

It might be best to go into pull-ups and put off trying again for at least a month; I would not do pull-ups on working days and potty train on days off, because that would confuse your child. I would arrange to potty train at a time when you will be mostly at home with her for at least a week and won't be in the position of a few days of training followed by sending her somewhere she may or may not be able to go in just panties.

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

Just hang in there. Do not put her back in diapers! She is getting close. It sounds like she doesn't have full control yet, she should get it soon.

If she doesn't have it by Monday, put her in thick pants and gerber trainers. Nothing should end up on the floor.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I would be upset if a child came to my house and peed on my floors. I say buy some pull ups so if she does have an accident the house is protected and then she can pull them up and down by her self. She is not ready and that is no reason worry.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I would wait. This probably means she isn't ready. And, some people say once you start, you can't stop. This wasn't the case for us. I started potty training my twins when I was four months pregnant with my daughter. I decided to give up and wait until she was born to start again. One was potty trained in two weeks, and his brother took about a month. This was shortly before their third birthday.

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