PLEASE HELP! Ready to Pull My Hair Out. Battling with 18 Month Old...

I just don't even GO there.
Food is offered, they eat it, or not.
Seriously, this is America, it's not like he's going to starve to death.
I NEVER stressed out over food or mealtimes.
As long as my kids were growing and hitting all their milestones? That's all that mattered.
Give him those gummy vitamins if you are truly concerned, but really, he's probably fine.
My middle child has hated vegetables her entire life and she is the picture of health (now 16 years old.) I swear the only vege that girl eats is the lettuce in a really good Caesar salad :(
Somehow they not only survive, but thrive!

You have taught him that if he refuses what is offered, he'll get what he wants... its up to you as a parent what route you want to take from here. Id suggest offering a few small servings of whatever the family is eating, preferably with one item he'll reasonably eat,along with his milk, and let him eat or not eat. Once he figures out his backup yogurt isn't happening, he may be a little more willing to try. I'm of the opinion that my job is to provide my children with healthy meals, it's up to them to eat. Good luck.

Babies/children go thru food stages. This is one battle that you cannot win. Feed him what he'll eat. Offer other foods but don't try to make him eat them. If you're not trying to force him to eat then he won't need to throw a tantrum.

You are in the midst of a power struggle and kids nearly always win those. They dig in their heals. And, you dig in your heels and the battle is on. There is not need to do this. His tastes will change if you don't make this a battle. When you try to force him to eat certain foods he won't be interested in eating them. It becomes a battle of wills, as you stated it.

Also try to make the vegetables fun/enticing. Call broccoli, trees for example. Hide veggies in other foods. And, most importantly don't make it so important that he eats it. Leave it on his plate. Ignore whether or not he eats it.

It really is no big deal. He won't go hungry and his taste will change and he'll have a new set of preferred foods. As his taste buds mature he'll eat a broader palate of food.

I agree with Jennifer T. Only provide food at meal time and a morning and afternoon snack. Provide small servings of what you're eating along with one food you know he likes. Don't try to make up for food not eaten at a meal. Give him an incentive to eat what you prepare. Let him be hungry. It won't hurt him. He'll eventually eat. He will not starve and his diet will balance its self out, nutrition wise, if you can relax and make meal time a pleasant experience.

First: every very young child I've worked with hits this point at some time or another. We should even name this phase: "Guess What I'm Going To Eat Today".

You will always guess wrong. Just know this now so you don't feel bad about it.

This is often about toddlers expressing their autonomy and digging their heels in, exerting their personality. And we adults, myself included, get emotionally dragged in at times when it's around food.

First, I'm going to say this very mean thing and I know it's going to be hard, but here it is: Stop giving him choices. Decide for him. Three things on the plate. Let him choose from there.

Do not grab substitutions. I always suggest serving two things he would readily eat and one 'wild card' food. If he liked mac-n-cheese three days ago, you know he ate it and didn't die. Serve that with apple slices and a veg. (This is just an example, by the way.) And then let him do what he is going to do.

Here's my thinking on it.... at this phase, it's all hit or miss. Kids at this age are really not good at following through on their choices because they are just learning how to make choices. So when we ask them beforehand and do it verbally, they think "Oh, she doesn't know what I should eat" instead of "she's asking me my preference". I know this sounds silly, but this is how toddlers think--"Why is this adult asking me? Don't *they* know?" And then, because they are little people and very silly and inexperienced at making decisions, they are going to drive us out of our wits by changing their mind or not being happy with their decision.

So-- don't let them make the decision. You decide, and then follow through.
One strong hint I would give is to avoid packaged foods as much as possible because toddlers get fixated with packaging and then they will "only" want the prepackaged milk, juice, single serving yogurt, the single cheese slice.... and then they'll take two bites out of it and then at the next meal... they'll want to open up a whole new one. And you will be pissed off.

As you can tell, I've done this phase with a lot of kids and don't have a whole lot of good to say about it. :) But I do have a sense of humor.

Remember to stock your cupboard with healthy foods, to buy the large carton/block of cheese, etc. and serve it in a dish or on a plate, and then, just stick to what you are serving. No running around serving substitutions. Unless your child has a serious sensory issue, they are not going to starve. They will eventually start to eat veggies again.

My son went through this and he is a great veggie eater. He's five now and had been doing great on it since about four. Please give it some time, give yourself a break and let this journey be on him to explore-- or not. All you can do is offer the good food, the rest is up to him. (And yes, stop giving sweets. The longer you get away from it, the more their sweet tooth subsides.)

So normal! At this age, my kids were in a booster seat at the table, and they sat next to me or my husband. Whoever sat next to them would simply place 1 or 2 bites of each food from our plate. If they ate it, more would be placed in front of them. If not, no biggy. We did try to only offer healthy food - fruit, veggies, meat. At 18 months, I would simply let him get down if he wasn't interested in eating. I would not put him in timeout. Letting him down is really just saying, ok, if you don't want to eat you don't have to. I think you'll find if you take that approach, you'll see fewer temper tantrums. If he gets hungry later, offer him some healthy food.

Keep in mind, there will be some times when he just isn't hungry. My almost 6 year old is a skinny boy and very small for his age. My 3 year old, on the other hand, is in the 90th percentile. It's hit or miss on any given day which one of them will eat. They both have days where they seem to survive on 2 or 3 bites (total) and other days where I swear they are bottomless pits. Still, the weigh about the same.

Try to relax. Keep offering the veggies, maybe in various forms, and try to remember that he really will be ok. There will come a day when he will eat a veggie again!

I agree... so normal. Your little guy is still getting used to eating table food... different textures, smells, tastes. And after the first year growth slows and the need for food declines, so eating everything that is put in front of them isn't a requirement anymore. Tastes are changing as well as a need to make his own choices about what he wants to eat.

I have a daycare and often come across kids who are "picky" eaters. I don't battle them. Kids eat when they are hungry and you're right you can't "make" them eat anything. I serve a variety of food at meals, so usually even for the pickiest eater there is something that they will eat. Keep in mind that their stomachs are really small, so keep portion sizes small. Get creative about how you serve things... How you cut them, how the food is presented, a variety of colors, are all tricks to making food more interesting....try disguising fruits and vegetables in other things that he likes. Try using dips or spreads like cottage cheese, yogurt, cream cheese, peanut butter, hummus, guacamole or plain mashed avocado, tomato sauce, pesto.

My own kids had very few sweets/treats at 18 months. Fruit or yogurt was their sweet treat. And even now at 6 and 8, they eat breakfast around 7am, snack at 10am, lunch around 12:30ish snack at 4pm and dinner around 6:30pm Keep meals and snacks at about the same time so that they aren't filling up too much on snack and are unwilling to eat dinner or other meals. Most kids are grazers and need to eat more than 3 square meals, but picky kids are even more of grazers. Just make sure that you are offering healthy choices at each opportunity to eat.

Don't battle him and don't give in to what he wants. He won't starve. I wouldn't put him in a time out or remove him from the table for refusing what you give him. Offer a variety and when he starts throwing, remove his food. Just say "we don't throw food" and take the tray away. He'll get it. Show him how to sign "all done", which is putting hands out palm side down and passing them over one another. This will give him a way to tell you that he's done rather than throwing food over the side.

Hang in there mama~ The more you make it a battle the bigger battle it will become. Good luck!

First off I just wanted to say you are doing the best you can and don't sweat it! I am going through exactly what you described right now with my little one. She used to eat everything but meat and cheese. Fruits, Veggies, grains, beans, ect. She now is only wanting fruit and that is even tough because it is only certain fruits. I chopped a pear one day she gobbled it up I did it again the next day she kept spitting it out. She used to love pasta and all green veggies and we can't get a green veggie to touch her lips.
Last week she survived off of a few spoon fulls of mac and cheese for dinner and lunch's were hit and miss.
I am trying to stick to at meal times offer her what we eat and then one thing she will eat usually. She still doesn't eat meat but still gets offered it every meal. I like you give her yogurt if she doesn't eat dinner and I really am figuring out that is what she is waiting for. Last night that finally dawned on me, she saw the yogurt container and wouldn't eat until she got that. Tonight I didn't bring it out until I felt she ate enough stir fry and fruit to warrant the yogurt.
Also this past week and a half she will not let my hubby or I to help her eat. She wants to do it all herself. She is more set doing this with me than my husband just for the fact that I let her explore and try more than my hubby which hates messes. I am finding she will eat more if I just give her the spoon and assist with my spoon at times.
Time outs don't happen in my house really. I usually let her throw a fit but show no reaction to it and it stops 9/10 times. I will introduce them as she gets older but feel at 18months she just can't comprehend this concept yet. We tried putting her in her room with a baby gate but she just went and played in her dresser drawers. :(
At the peds today I kept a diet of her intake the past week and I brought that with and asked what I should alter if anything. I explained the veggie thing and she said that was fine just offer and she will eat it if she wants. She said you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. That really made sense. All as we can do as parents is give the kids the best options and they have to make their decisions. Also she said that at 18 month they really start declining in their intake and not to worry to much. I don't like that at times but nothing I can do to much.
Just remember at his age you probably didn't eat veggies everyday or eat a balanced meal and you turn out fine. You are doing the best you can and keep offering healthy options and things will turn out fine.
Good luck in coming weeks. I think times like this are just to start weaning us into the terrible twos! I swear someday's my angel was switched at night for another cranky little girl that doesn't listen and is a whiny little thing.

In all just do what you can and be happy that he is growing

My son is 18-19 months right now and I just wanted to say... I SOOO know how you feel! Last night, for example... He usually likes potatoes and he LOVES meat (Nicknamed carnivore for this reason), and don't even get me started on his love for bread. Last night we had meatloaf, baked potatoes, baked beans, and buttered bread. He ate two small bites of meatloaf and started throwing it on the floor. He wouldn't even touch the potatoes or the beans. And he only had a couple bites of bread as well. Finally, we got him to try the beans... Everyone at the table (We were at my grandma's with my parents and sisters... So there were about 8 people at the table) had to take a bite of beans and go "MMM" with a big smile on our face, and then he would take a bite and go 'MMM'. That went round and round until he got bored of the game. Ugh!

Hi P.!

My daughters are 8 & 5 so it's been a while since I've had a toddler. I'm pregnant again so gearing back up. I do remember that phase well, though, because I remember being every bit as frustrated & scared as you are now. Was I doing the right thing? Should I let her choose? Should I be more strict? It's hard to know. What I learned is that this phase is VERY normal, and that your child will not starve himself. Sometimes I wondered how my daughters survived on so little food, but they eat when they're hungry. They're exercising a new sense of ability to control things around them. There is very little that such a tiny person can control, and when they realize that they have the ability, they tend to exercise this control over food and potty. The key to overcoming this is to stay consistent. Keep offering him healthy choices at each meal, and if he doesn't eat, don't freak out. He will eat when he is hungry. If he doesn't eat it at his meal time, when he asks for food, offer him the same food. That way he doesn't learn that when he refuses lunch, he gets goldfish crackers later.

Lastly, when he starts to throw a fit or throw food on the floor, immediately remove his food/drink, and remove him from his chair, place him on the floor, and tell him, firmly, "We do not throw food. Lunch time is over." Then, don't look at him for a solid 30 seconds. This is like a mini time-out for toddlers. He will get the hint that that behavior is not acceptable and won't be tolerated.

After the situation is diffused and he has run off to play for a while, offer his food again. Repeat if necessary. It won't take long.

Remember: Your child will NOT starve himself!!

You're doing great, Mom. Relax and remember that this WILL pass!!

Totally normal. Take a deep breath. It's a stage. It's to be expected. Their
tastebuds change...several times.

What they liked yesterday they can no longer stomach.
The trick is to roll with the punches.
Go with the flow.
Introduce new things, new items, new foods.

Just keep trying anything & everything. New things.

At this age, it's a constantly changing world.

Also, a 5 min timeout at this age is too long. Can't draw the parallel.
It's 1 min per year. So at this age he would be on a time out for 1 min.
At age 2yrs = 2 mins, 3 yrs = 3 mins etc.

Don't worry, this stage will pass & he'll outgrow it. He's still young.
Keep trying to introduce NEW things.
The point is to get him to eat, not to get him to keep w/his same pattern.
Keep introducing new items when he gets tired of a certain food.

My son has gone through many/numerous food like/dislike changes.
At this age, it's not a matter of control but of liking/disliking and not being able to handle a certain taste or texture.
Hang in there. PM me if you want some more ideas. This gets better. Give it awhile. :)

I have a grandson who's just a little younger than your son. He's doing that, too. Despite his good start, he currently won't eat anything that looks even remotely healthy. In fact, you can practically see the little wheels turning in his head as he picks up a bit of food and examines it: "Oh, is that a cheese curl? Nope, it's a carrot. No way!" And he sweeps it off the table.

This is a classic maneuver under the heading, "Games Toddlers Play."

As long as your doctor says your son is healthy, play this very cool! When I was raising my children, my doctor said, "You can't fight every battle, so pick the ones you can win." The reason you can't win about the food is that it isn't your mouth the food is supposed to go into.

You can give him only healthy choices. If he gets one bite of them in his mouth, that's points for you. When he starts throwing instead of eating, then he's not hungry. Really! Clean him up, set him down from his chair, and don't give him anything else to eat until the regularly scheduled snack time. Be firm but friendly (don't take his actions as a personal offense).

He will live! Children do eat when they're hungry, and they will not become malnourished if they don't eat vegetables at every meal. It's amazing how little a toddler can eat and still stay healthy.

Try not to interpret his actions as defiance. He's trying out his newly discovered powers of choice. It's good for him, and part of his job description at this age. In a few months he'll be over this stage (and into another one). Keep your cool.

relax... this is normal.. if you keep batttling him over what he eats.. you will have a lifetime of food battles..

We never made a special dinner for our kids ... but they rarely rarely ate dinner at this age.. they eat breakfast and lunch but not dinner..

There is no reason to be stern.. the less attention you give to his eating the better. offer the food.. if he doents want it.. ALL DONE and send him away.