Please Help 4 1/2 Month Old Waking Every Hour

Hi T.,
You poor woman! That is rough. Well, here's what worked for me. I think what you need to do is adjust his sleep/eat/wake routine. Right now you are feeding him just prior to him going to sleep, which I think is your problem. I think that if you feed him right when he wakes up, that will help. That way he will get a big, full meal, and he will be awake so you can burp him, and then he will be awake if he needs to burp any more after that. Keep him up for a few hours, then put him to bed. It's okay if he is awake when you put him down. Put him down BEFORE he gets cranky (because that is setting you both up for failure). Swaddle him, give him a binky, or whatever he likes to soothe himself, or lay your hand on him and say "sh-sh-sh" or use a white noise machine, or soft music... you get the idea. Help the little guy get to sleep without eating his way there.

What I did with my younger child that worked was that I'd feed her when she woke up (say, 7am), then burp her etc, then she would have play time for a while, and then at about 9:30am, she'd go down for a nap. She would wake up around 11, at which time I'd feed her, burp her, then we'd have awake time, and then around 1:30 I'd put her down for her second nap. You get the idea. At this age, they can be on about a 4 hour schedule for feeding/sleeping/waking. The great thing about doing the same thing at the same time every day, is that there is no need for CIO. The baby knows what is coming at all times, and is much happier and sleeps better. Also, make sure you're putting him to bed for the night early (like 6pm). For whatever reason, that REALLY seems to help the baby sleep longer and better.

I know this sounds way too easy to work, but it really did work for me. A mama friend of mine recommended it to me, and I've recommended it to others, and it has worked for us. If you want more information, the book that goes into more detail is "On Becoming Baby Wise" by Gary Ezzo.

Good luck, and remember, this will pass! (Even though it doesn't seem like it now!)

Hi T.,
I read you said "no CIO", so this is not what you want to hear. In fact, I almost didn't respond since you obviously don't want to go that route. But I've decided to share what I've done anyway...just as an FYI if nothing else. I have 4 girls, ranging from 7 years to 8 months. All 4 were sleeping through the night (and I mean 10-12 hours straight THROUGH THE NIGHT) by 2 months. If the method mentioned previously by the other 2 mamas works, then by all means go for it. I just want to say we did use CIO and my girls all learned to self-soothe very quickly. Within a few days to a week was all it took. I didn't ignore them. I would go in every 10 minutes and pat them on the bottom and make soothing sounds so they know they're being cared for, give them their paci (if they take one) and go back out. Tears your heart out.....BUT only for such a short time. By 2 months they do not need the food at night. It's just habit to wake and eat. Honestly, that really is the truth. You've probably heard/read that before and you may have your doubts about that, but it really is fact. No baby ever died from CIO, and as long as you smother them with love and affection otherwise, there are no bad outcomes. My children are happy, healthy, loving, confident children who are secure in the knowledge that they are loved to the ends of the earth. We have the most loving family I know....and one of the happiest families I know because EVERBODY gets a full night's sleep. I know this probably won't change your mind or your life, but I just wanted to share my experience with you. I'm not into all the studies that try to show this and that like "they have abandonment issues when they get older" etc. I have no, and I mean NO problems like that. I'm not going to go any further with this now, because it sure sounded like you weren't going to go this route anyway. I just wanted you to hear from someone who has done it....4 times, no less, and it has worked beautifully every time. And p.s., for a white noise machine, we use a hair dryer with a very mellow (not shrill) sound to it, and turn it on low. The ones that say they are "quiet" on the box seem to work well. It's nice to get the kind that have a heat control option, too. That way you can turn the heat option all the way down so it's basically blowing room temperature air and not heating anthing up. And lastly, as someone mentioned before, just be assured this is a period of time that in hind site lasts for such a short time. We live in the now and so everything seems like it will last forever. But in 6 months (or less!) this will be over and you will be wondering where the time went. I encourage you to relish every single moment, good or bad, because all too soon it's over and gone, and our babies aren't babies anymore, and we're longing for the days when they needed us more! God bless, from one mama's heart to another's.

Please, please look at www.sleepsense.net and order the e-book online to solve your babies sleeping issues. At his age, he should be sleeping 6-8 hours through the night or more! I was desperate for help with my first baby, and found sleepsense online. It saved our lives, our sleep, and our sanity. I am now using the tips with my second baby, who is now 5 months, and sleeping 11 hours through the night. Life is good. Best $47 I ever spent! Please check it out. Go to the website, click on the do-it-yourself options, and get the e-book. Dana Obleman is a infant/child sleep specialist, and really knows her stuff. You can get online help, as well, by chatting with a staff member. They will get you help, and send emails if you want.

You won't regret this.

Hi, T.;

My son had the same problem. I didn't know what to do until we were visiting an older woman who, seeing him grab at our plates on the table, said he was ready for solid food. I couldn't believe it, but I started feeding him a little cereal at night. He loved it, ate more than I would have thought possible, and slept through the night. That tummy gurgle might be hunger. Good luck!

T.,
Your son sounds like my girls. They were both poor nappers at that age and started waking up every hour in the 3 to 4 month old range.

I don't have any silver bullets... my oldest didn't sleep well reliably until she was two and my 14 month old sleeps well some nights and not others... so maybe you want to stop reading, because what do I know... LOL.

Seriously though, two suggestions...

1. Somehow you have to stop feeding at every wake up. He is waking up this often because he wants to be with you and wants to nurse. You may have to try many different things, and may need to enlist the help of your husband, but you need to set a rule of only feeding every three hours, and after a few nights, if you are consistent, he should go back to getting up only every three hours. You can't do this for newborns, but by 4 months he should be fine every three hours (unless he has weight gain issues of course, then consult your pediatrician or a lactation consultant).

2. Another thing that helped me to get them to sleep longer chunks as infants was to make sure I had a good bedtime routine and was putting them down awake at bedtime. You may want to try an earlier bedtime so he doesn't zonk out while nursing. With my oldest it was quite a challenge. I don't like CIO either, and I had to stay in her room with her for about 30 minutes, keeping her calm until she would fall asleep. My youngest did much better and would fall asleep on her own easily... they are all different, but for both of them, until they started going to sleep in that crib instead of my arms, they were waking up a lot at night.

On the CIO front... I agree with you it's not the way to go, but I have an unplanned success story nonetheless... At around 4 and 1/2 months with my youngest, we had one of tose very long, sleepless nights. I was trying to enforce the "only every three hours" feeding rule, and since that didn't go over well from me, my husband had been walking up and down the hall with her for an hour, while I lay in bed listening and stressing. Anyway, we had reached one of those moments that all parents reach, where we needed to step back and take a breath for everyone's well-being. My husband put her in her crib and said "We are going to take 5 minutes." He nearly had to hold me down, but I knew that we did need a break. Much to my surprise, after 4 minutes our darling bundle fell asleep and after that night she slept for 3 - 4 hours at a time for quite a while. On the occasions when she did get up more frequently, she would go back to sleep with rocking only.

Good luck. Sleep is elusive, and I know this is a hard time. Lots of us have been survived it. And some lucky folk have kids who sleep.

-A.

Have you tried a pacifier? My baby was such a sucker and needed to be soothed by sucking. And I wasn't much for being a personal pacifier! So after nursing, I would burp her and then use the pacifier. It sounds to me like your little one is over tired and not sleeping well because of that. Ironic, I know. I learned a ton from these books: "Healthy sleep for Happy Babies" and "Baby Wise". Another great one for us: "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer."
Good luck.

Dear T.,
Neither of my kids, a girl and a boy, born 10 years apart, ever slept during the day. They might konk out in the car here or there, but for the most part, they were awake. But, they slept all night by the time they were just little, tiny.
My daughter, my first baby, started screaming her head off at about 3 months everytime I cooked anything. Dinner was always torture because I was trying to get dinner done and soothe her. I started letting her eat food. I held her at the table with me and she ate when we ate. It didn't take long to figure out she didn't want the bland baby food stuff either. And my son was the same way. They got their tummies full during the day, had a nice bath and slept all night. Neither of my children used a pacifier, but you can try that.
Babies grow so much in the first year so be prepared for changes.
I wish you the best!

Hi there,

It's so hard when your baby won't sleep -- I feel for you!

Our daughter is 15 months and has been a good sleeper and a not so good sleeper at different stages. She is still breast fed to sleep. We have tried the Ferber method (when she was about 11 months), but I regret doing that. It worked but was too h*** o* all of us and I didn't have the heart to do it again after she got sick the first time.

I think it was about 4 months that she went through a difficult sleeping phase. I think the thing we tried was not respoinding right away, but waiting a little bit to see if she soothed herself back to sleep. If she was really awake and crying we'd go to her. We realized that we were going to her when she was making sounds but she was really still asleep or could get herself back to sleep if we gave her a chance.

What we've found is that we can make some adjustment that help, but that she worked out her sleep issues herself. We just got frustrated when we thought she "should" be sleeping better than she was because other parents or books said she should be.

Sorry I can't be of more help!

H.

My daughter is 8 months old and she has been doing the same since she was about 4 months old. It was super h*** o* us because we also work full time. I finally went in to check that she was physically fine. She is. I then starting really researching the Ferber method. I had been DEAD set against this from the get go, but after 4+ months of not sleeping I was ready to try anything.
It is working really well for us. Our daughter is waking up only once a night now. I go in and check that she does not have a dirty diaper, then I put her back in to her crib and sing to her. Within 10 minutes, she is asleep.
The first night was really hard. She cried for over an hour. I did not just leave her alone. I went in at 10 minutes to comfort her (I did not pick her up), then I waited for 15 minutes,then 20 minutes, etc. She eventually went to sleep on her own. She did wake through the first night, but each time she went down easier and easier.
Now she is laying down on her own. She will cry, but only for about 15 minutes. We have been doing the same thing for her naps. She was like your child. If she did take a nap, it was only for a short time. Now she will take twp naps a day that are a little over an hour.
Our daughter is very much happier and rested. We have now gotten the grandparents (they do the child care) on board with the schedule. I see a HUGE difference in our daughter!!!
Research this method and make sure that you are ok with it. It was really hard at first. I was crying in my bedroom the first night, but after that I was much better.
There are a lot of myths out there about this method, so I really suggest that you research it before believing anything (including myself) that anybody says.
Good Lick!!!!!

Your son may be going through what can be called 'preparation for growth spurt.' More sucking, more often will provide a larger result the next day. The growth spurt itself will be seen in a couple of weeks at most. Leche League can provide the kind of information and support to help you keep nursing as long as you want. I recommend using that resource.

If the baby just has gas then , in my opinion, gripe water always worked better than the mylicon. PLus gripe water is a more natural treatment (I believe). I had a baby that would NOT sleep either, for the first 6 months. She RARELY slept. I was breast feeding so I eliminated the dairey, critus etc first and when that didn't work we had some tests run. We fifnally found out was due he inability to digest food easliy. I gave her the children's dose of acidopillus and 1 week later she didn't have athat gurling tummy or wrenching anymore. We kept her on it for 6 months and then she has been fine ever since.
Good luck

She could also be teething. Babies' sleep is affected by any major changes - which are many in the first year! If trying remedies for gas doesn't work, try the teething tablets. Or, if you really get desperate, Tylenol infant drops. My babies sleep changes generally lasted 6-10 days so hang in there! I'd only use Tylenol if I REALLY thought she was uncomfortable due to teething pain (I think I've used it twice for this in her 8 months).
Oh - also - for the advice about insisting that she only eat every 3 hours. My daughter still eats every 2 hours. Maybe she's more of a snacker, but if I tried to make her wait an extra hour, I'd just be depriving her of what she needs for no good reason. Every baby is an individual so if your used to need to eat every 2-3 hours, listen to that. On that note, babies also go through growth spurts when they need to eat more - so maybe your baby is just going through a growth spurt! Just try to be patient although I know it's hard!
Good luck!!!

You can try Gripe Water for the gas. Its natural and I have had good results from it with my kids.

Dear T., After raising 7 kids, I am all about keeping a schedule. I could not survive without one. So as some said put your baby on a schedule of up at the same time each day. He should eat and play for 2 hours and then sleep for 2 hours. All at the same time each day. This helps develop his nuralogical system and his digestive system.
I have lots of experience with up set stomachs. Check what you are eating and what makes him worse and eliminate it from your diet. For a soother I have used Gripe Water. IT is all natural and works like a charm, actually better than mylicon. YOu can find it at Goores or RiteAide. Hope this helps.
Stac

Hi T.,

I noticed this seems to be a problem for many mothers. I am a wellness consultant and see that our children are not getting enough nutrition today from the foods they are eating and that causes them to not get enough sleep and if they are not getting enough sleep their immune system is becoming compromised. That is why we have so many challenges with our children today. Experts also estimate 1 out of 3 children will have diabetes 2 as a result of poor diet, lack of sleep and too soda and juice consumption and the environment.

I work for the largest wellness company in the world and they address the wellness home and and the issues we are challenged with today and inspire individuals to discover a whole new way of life and provide them the opportunity to live it by changing their life's through improved health and financial well-being.

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N. Marie

Hi there -
I agree with the other poster Catherine. I did basically the same routine as she did and it helped SOOOO much. It takes a day or 2 to get in a routine.. but it is so much better for everyone - trust me!! You must be a zombie by now!! They key is feed the baby when they wake up. So nap, wake up, diaper change, bottle/feeding, butp, awake time (tummy time, swing, etc), go to their room, change diaper, turn on noise machine or music, rock for a minute, and then lay down while awake..and then repeat the whole process when they get up. This was the BEST routine I got in with my son. Now he goes down all the time when he is awake, he knows the routine, and he is a happy baby. I hope this works....good luck to you!!
~K.

My 4 1/2 month old girl is going through the same problem of waking every hour. It sounds like it is common. Just a stage.

Hello, my name is D. and I have a 14yr old and 3 yr old daughters so please keep this in mind. I had that same problem with both and there were two solutions with I tried with with both and each of them took to the other. So first for the upset tummy I found a chamomile tea that you can add to maybe a pumped bottle every so often or even use a medicine dispenser. It is called Tummy soothers and is by baby naturals it usually has winnie the pooh on the bottles of their product. I have found it at places like target, walgreens, and most grocers. If you read the label, there is nothing unnatural in the ingredients and I know if I had an upset tummy I wouldn't sleep good either. Also, I had suggested to me, to add a little rice cereal to their last bottle before bed (sorry, again with the pumping) just to let them feel full for a little longer. I am not a doctor so I don't want to give wrong advice, I just what has worked for me. Good Luck !!

Hi T., My now 5.5 month old daughter went through a sleep regression at about the same time as your child apparently it is pretty typical anytime they are about to go through a developmental spurt and around 20 weeks is a classic one. You have had some great advice. I would say for sure putting them down earlier really helps and a routine is key. As for the gas we love gripe water. Another thing to consider is that you may be starting to teeth. Even though you may not see teeth for a couple more months they are still moving around in there. Hylands teething tablets work really well and were recommended to me by my Dr. We are now going through teething one gear up and are having to use some tylenol some evenings. We are about to start doing gerber rice cereal (powder in breast milk) for lunch and at the end of the day. Everyone says that helps them sleep longer we'll see.

Good luck.
C.

My daughter did the same, and it took me a long time to figure out that for us, it was nursing her to sleep that was causing most of the problems. (Once you rule out teething, sickness, etc.) At 4+ months your baby can learn to fall asleep on his own. Here's how to do it: Nurse every 3 hrs or whatever your pattern is, but don't nurse until your baby is completely asleep. Remove him from the breast and then lay him in the crib when he is drowsy but awake. Be prepared for some crying the first few times. You don't have to leave him alone to cry though, you can stay in the room, gently pat and shhh to help things along. If he cries a lot and you don't feel that he is ready, you can wait a few weeks and try again. My baby cried a lot the first few times but she picked it up and starting sleeping a lot better. It's tough but worth it.

Mylicon is pretty useless (and had a recall a few months back, I believe). If the problem really is gas, you can do a couple things. One is to adjust your diet so that it doesn't include gas producing foods, such as beens, broccoli, cauliflower, and even dairy in some cases. I would call your pediatrician's office for advice about what foods you should avoid so that gas inducing compounds don't come through your breastmilk. Also, try moving your baby's legs in a bicycling motion while he is on his back. This can help gas pass. Finally, you might want to check in with the pediatrician because what you're hearing might not be gas. It could be reflux or something else entirely.

Thank you for not being a cry it out mother, I feel so sorry for those babies who have to cry and cry to sleep, basically they give up and sleep, at 4 1/2 months old, they still need you. One mother told me her babies foot was stuck and she didn't realize it. So, thank you. Anyways, we used mylicon, I know you said you weren't sure, we added it to our son and daughter's bottle, not every time, and what a difference. My friend used gripe water, I think. Think of mylicon as a tums for your baby. If you are concerned he might have a reaction call your Dr. for advice before you give it to him. Also, have you offered a pacifier as a soother while rocking him, he may just need to suck and not eat. Good luck