Picky Toddler

Updated on April 23, 2008
C.C. asks from Carrboro, NC
22 answers

Is there a way to do a search on this blog? I'm positive there's been lots of discussion about what to do with an 18 month who won't anything unless it's white. I'm concerned that she's not getting enough protein, because our household is pescetarian (fish eating only), and she won't touch it. Ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese, and milk are her only protein sources and that can't be sufficient, I don't think. I tell myself it's just a phase, but it's lasting an awfully long time, and I am a bit concerned about her growth and well being (even though she's above average on all the stats). Also, I am a firm believer in natural, healthy, wholesome foods, and refuse to "sneak" veggies in e.g. brownies. I want my children to learn to eat well from the beginning, with very minimal sugar and white flour.

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A.V.

answers from Knoxville on

You've got some great advice here. If all else fails, tofu is white and full of protein! There are lots of ways to cook it and it can be really good!

Good luck!

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D.P.

answers from Raleigh on

Yeah.. I wanted all that healthy eating too. But you can't really force them to eat anything they don't want to eat. So far, my son refuses to eat any meat and very few veggies. I just put 1/2 carnation instant breakfast packet in his milk so that he gets all his vitamins. I still try new things out on him, although they just usually end up chewed up and on the floor. It is a slow process...

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S.F.

answers from Charlotte on

I'm in the same boat :) with an older toddler. He eats more then I give credit for I'm sure, but I did consult a ped this week about this. We're going to be evaluated for a food texture aversion just to be sure.

I know you said you refuse to 'sneak' but this isn't really sneaking. There's a juice brand that some stores carry, it's organic, and it's called Kagome. Has 8 veggies and 4 fruits blended in each bottle, and TASTES WONDERFUL! My son LOVES the Orange Carrot Blossom. Maybe that's worth a try. I dilute it, even though it's 100% natural w/ no sugars added.
http://www.kagome.us/

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L.R.

answers from Raleigh on

There is a great resource for you at Emerge, A Child's Place in Chapel Hill and Durham, NC (www.emergeachildsplace.com)

They have feeding therapy classes and feeding therapists you can call to discuss your child's situation and ask for advice. I know of someone who dealt with a therapist named Mim - she said was so incredibly helpful!

Hope this helps!
L

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J.M.

answers from Nashville on

C.,
You can do a topic search: at the top of this page click on "Requests and Responses", and on the next page you should see a big pink bar of topics on the left; click on "Food and Eating" and you'll be able to browse through previous requests and view their responses.
Oats, pumpkin seeds, almonds (you'd probably have to skin them), white beans, quinoa, and tofu all have decent amounts of protein in them; although I'm not sure how well she'd take to them since they're not pure white. Best wishes!

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M.T.

answers from Nashville on

Make sure you give her a vitamin every single day and don't forget. I give mine the gummy chewables. You can't make her eat but at least put it in her plate in front of her and let her see you eat and then hopefully one of these days she will catch on and eat. I know you said that you are fish eating only but she may be different. She may never like fish. She may want to be a chicken eating only person. If it is not some kind of religion or anything, I would fix her something like chicken and see if she will eat that. That doesn't mean that you have to eat it but she may chose that instead and that may be her preference. It is worth a try. But whatever you do, GIVE HER A VITAMIN. Her brain has to have the proper nutrition in order for her brain to grow properly because it is still developing up until she is nearly 20.
Good luck

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J.A.

answers from Louisville on

Start now teaching your toddler that what you fix for dinner is what everyone in the family is eating. Eventually, she will be hungry enough to eat what you put in front of her. If you are constently trying to "please" her, then she will only eat what she wants to. It's normal at this age to be tested in this way. Just stand your ground and put healthy food in front of her. She will eat it eventually.

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J.N.

answers from Nashville on

C.,
Check out Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook, Deceptively Delicious. She has some great ways to sneak in everything your child needs. I know you don't want to sneak, but when I "sneak" things in on my kids, I tell them after they have decided if they like it or not what they just ate. And sneaking them in on "treats" is pointless as it only teaches them to eat "treats" - that's not what Jessica's recipes do. I don't know how well they will work on a child that only eats "white", but if none of the white fish are cutting it with your little one, maybe some of the things in there will.
Good luck and God bless!
J.

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K.M.

answers from Nashville on

C.,

Would you consider giving your son toddler formula or adding the mix to milk? It would ensure your son rec'd the appropriate nutrients until he gets past this phase. Just a thought.

Good luck!

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L.P.

answers from Louisville on

To determine your child's exact protein needs during this time of life, use these figures. Multiply your child's weight in pounds by the number of grams of protein needed per pound of body weight to calculate their daily protein requirements.

Ages 1 to 3 - 0.81 grams (child's weight in pounds x 0.81 = daily grams of protein)
Ages 4 to 6 - 0.68 grams
Ages 7 to 10 - 0.55 grams

So your 1 year old should be eating around 20 grams of protein per day if he weighs around 25lbs and your 4 year old should be eating around 24 grams of protein per day if he weighs around 35lbs. I have no idea what size your children are, so I just used weights close to my own kids weights. It is possible to get enough protein from cheese and milk and yogurt. We don't eat any meat at all and my kids are fine. Keep offering the foods your kid won't eat and eventually he will try some. Let him feed himself with a grown-up fork, my kids love that. Cheer for him when he tries a bite. Put ketchup on everything. Don't stress yourself about it.

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L.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

this happened to my daughter at 2 1/2. Her dr said it was probably her way of controlling something. This happened after I had her brother and then we moved from san diego to north carolina. She is still really picky, but I am able to get her to eat about any fruit. We are still working of veggies.

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K.D.

answers from Raleigh on

In my opinion, and the opinion of many other alternative health care practitioners, a person can get all the protein they need from fruits and vegetables. Protein is made up of amino acids. We have an amino acid pool in our body. If you eat a variety of fruits and vegetables you will get all the essential amino acids, and in a much more usable and absorbable form than meat or even cheese.

A banana, for example, has all 8 essential amino acids.

Here's a great article that explains it better and about how the "need to combine your foods to get complete proteins at every meal" myth was later debunked and even recanted by the author of the book that started it all. http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/09/the-great-protei...

As to the white food issue, that would concern me more. Sounds like she is eating way too much dairy since that is white and dairy is the number one food allergy and causes inflammation and congestion (why do you think singers don't eat dairy before a performance? ;-) ) It also sounds like she is not eating many fruits or vegetables. Peeled apples cut into tiny pieces - is that white enough for her? How about cauliflower? Also, tahini is white and it works as a great dressing for salads when dilute and maybe add a little lemon juice. She might like it as a dip. If you are still concerned about protein, then tahini would help.

I would work on desentisizing her to the color issue. Place one piece of something not white, maybe a tiny piece of canned peach, off to the side on the tray of her high chair. Then ignore it and feed her the white food. Do this for a week or two until she gets used to it. Scoot it closer in future meals. Make a game of touching it at some point. Then a game of smelling it and then licking it. Then finally (after a month or so of the above), you put it on her tray as usual and then make a point of eating another similar piece right in front of her. Do that for a week, while she still gets to touch and smell hers. When you eat your piece, savor it and show how good it tastes. If she still doesn't take a bite after a week of that, then the next time start to put it on her tray but hesitate and go 'you aren't going to eat this' and start to put it in your mouth. If she fusses, offer her a chance to eat it. If she doesn't, eat it next time along with your piece and offer her another piece.

I had to desensitize my special son to textures and he now eats salads. Good luck.

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J.K.

answers from Wilmington on

I don't want to sound harsh, but you are raising your child to be a picky eater by being a picky eater yourself. There are other foods that are white that aren't fish, but are still healthy for you. Pork and chicken are white and you can purchase those free of additives and healthy. Cauliflower, potatoes, turnips and jicima are all white and very healthy. There are also butters, like tahini butter (I think that's the one) that is white and loaded with protien. Put that on white wheat bread and he will have no idea what he's eating.

As far as him only wanting to eat white foods, that will pass. It is an effort on his part to control his enviornment and you. Since you have that final say in just about everything else, let him have this one until he feels secure enough to make you only feed him orange foods...that one is a lot harder.

I hope I didn't offend. I wish you luck on this one.
J.

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K.V.

answers from Nashville on

My cousins growing up were vegans. My grandmother told me a story in which my cousin Brendan was visiting her for a week. She caught him sneaking the largest glass of milk he could get, while standing in the fridge. I always thought it was funny that he didn't care about veganism or things like that being a kid, he just needed the nutrients.
I know that you said you only eat fish, but why is that? Is it really that important to you that he not eat any meat such as chicken or is it that you think fish is just better for him? There are many healthy organic markets around here that sell meat such as chicken, veggies and everything you can think of without the pesticides, hormones etc. Fish also can have high concentrations of mercury and are not recommended as a daily thing.
My 2 cousins and aunt in Alaska have eaten fish for years because of the necessity. They all came down with breast cancer and one of my cousins died after a 10 year battle. My uncle also had brain cancer. They think it might be from the high fish diet. Noone else in the family has had cancer. It might be something to research. Even though a lot of people want to say that fish, fish oil etc. are healthy, fish also pick up any contaminents in the water more easily.
Here is a website that talks about how to pick, cook and eat fish safely: http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=3... .
My sister just went to the Whole Foods market at the Green Hills mall area. She said it was great. They even let her try everything before buying. An organic store like that might be what your looking for.

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J.M.

answers from Raleigh on

Kudos for trying to make sound nutritional choices for your child! I would like to point out that not eating meat does not mean you are being a picky eater. But I'm sure you know that and are aware of the many good reasons people might have for doing so (moral/ethical, religious, nutritional).

My only suggestion is parsnips - my 13 month old LOVES them! I peel & chop them into bite-size pieces and steam them until tender. They have a nice nutty flavor, and are pretty close to white. Oh, and a previous reply might have mentioned this, but white beans (if they're white enough for her) are a good protein source. Will she compromise and eat non-white foods if they're mixed w/ white ones (e.g., beans with cheese melted on top)?

Good luck!

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K.C.

answers from Johnson City on

I haven't had to deal with a color fixation, but my mother-in-law says that my sister-in-law went for a year where she wouldn't eat anything red and my husband went for a year where he wouldn't eat anything green. I asked her what she did and she said "Nothing, because they ate everything else and eventually, they outgrew it." My 2-year-old daughter went through a stage where she would not eat any vegetables. I fought her for about a week, then decided it wasn't worth it. We kept putting them on her plate, encouraging her -- but not forcing her -- to eat them, and eating them ourselves and talking about how good they were and after a month or so, she starting eating them again and now she's fine. If it's something she really likes like broccoli or green beans, she eats them first!!

Between about 18 months and 3 years, children have a lot of changes going on in their taste buds, so they are likely to go through a lot of stages of not wanting to eat particular things. But as long as you keep encouraging them to eat a variety of food, they should outgrow most of their pickiness by age 4. The worst thing you can do is force a child to eat. I've been told that that can be a contributing factor to several eating disorders later in life. And no child will starve herself. When she gets hungry enough, she'll eat.

As for the protein thing, you've gotten some good suggestions. Tofu is an excellent source and it takes on the flavor of whatever you mix it with, so it's easy to cook it in appealing ways. We scramble it with mushrooms, onions, a little garlic, seasoned salt, and soy sauce and eat it instead of eggs for breakfast. (We add tumeric for the yellow color, but you could easily leave it white.)Also, don't stress about whether she's getting enough protein. The average American gets far more protein that is actually needed every day. Talk to a dietician about what your daughter's nutrient requirements are and he/she could probably make some good suggestions about how to go about filling them.

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R.B.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi C.. Have you discussed with your children's doctor about your choice of eating habits? It is my understanding that too much fish in a child's diet can cause iron poisoning. Too much iron can lead to significant learning difficulties. Your daughter's pickiness may be her body's cry for something more. I understand that you and your husband have made a decision about a certain eating lifestyle,but a child's developing body needs a variety of sources. Your body is full grown-theirs is not. I encourage you to really research everything and discuss it with a pediatric nutritionist. Your doctor's office should be able to give you a referral. I don't want to sound like I'm knockin' your lifestyle, my nephew has autism which is caused from too many metals in his brain and blood.

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J.C.

answers from Hickory on

What about tofu? It's white and loaded with protein. You can do so many things with it. My 13 year old actually prefers tofu when his dad and I eat fish. Also, what about white fish? Will she eat that? Fish sticks? Does she eat other cheeses? Swiss? White American? I remember growing up that my best friends little sister would only eat Chik Fil A chicken nuggets. She would literaly starve herself otherwise. After about a year, she grew out of it. Just make sure that she's taking a good multi-vitamin for her age and that she's eating and by about 2, you should start the idea that what we eat, you eat. Bottom line. Don't make her sit at the table until she's done (that has been proven to lead to eating disorders later in life), but she won't starve herself, I promise you that. No child has ever starved themselves. She will eventually get over this and figure out that she won't get her own way. Currently, she's got you wrapped around her fingers and feeding her whatever she wants. If you stop playing her game, she will eat what you put in front of her, otherwise, she will get very hungry, very quickly. Keep trying to get her to eat other foods and within about 6 months, quit making white things for a week. She'll eat what is there for lack of a better option. Good luck!

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J.N.

answers from Knoxville on

This is what I do. I always try to make everything from scratch. Let’s just say I make muffins, and the recipe says there is 2 cups of flour, I would puree 1 cup of oatmeal and add it to 1 cup of flour. If there’s 1 cup of sugar, I’d cut it in half. Sometimes I substitute yogurt for butter or oil. I just play around, make my own judgment and be creative. I do add puree veggies or fruits in e.g. muffins, pancakes, cookies, some desserts, meats, etc. I have a son who is 4 and a daughter who is 2 ½. There are 2 things I strongly believe 1) Always encourage kids to eat veggies, fruits, and anything even kidney beans or chick peas no matter what if they would eat them or not. 2) Always try to add puree veggies, or fruits in anything that I make from scratch. My son wouldn’t eat raw spinach, but just the other day he nibbled one bite, then the next day he ate the whole leaf. What a surprise. He hasn’t eaten one again, but at least he tried one. My work of encouraging him has paid off, but I’d keep it up. My daughter wouldn’t touch it. My son saw me taking frozen sweet potato (puree) out from the freezer. He wanted to taste it. I let him nibble it. It’s so unusual for him to do that, but he’s changing a little. I make sweet potato french fries and bake them. My son likes it. My daughter doesn’t care for it. My son wouldn’t touch cauliflower, but my daughter likes it. My son loves scramble eggs with puree cauliflower, parmesan cheese, and flaxseed in it. My daughter doesn’t care for it. My daughter loves dairy products too. Sometimes, I feed her cottage cheese with any kind of cereal in it for breakfast. Doing all this makes me feel better that my kids are at least getting some nutrients.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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I.W.

answers from Greensboro on

I also have a picky-eating-toddler and sometimes it drives me nuts. This "white" thing is normal. And usually a phase, but maybe a long phase.

Here are two links to my two favorite places.
The first is Dr. William Sears on picky eaters :
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T030800.asp

This one is to kellymom.com. Although it makes reference to toddlers who are still nursing, it also addresses picky eating in general and has some great reference links at the bottom of the page:
http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/toddler-foods.html

Sounds to me that you are doing a great job. If there is no junk there, she won't eat it and parents are the best eating role models and you're doing great there. Wish I could be that diligent.

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M.M.

answers from Raleigh on

you can look up things by category so you can get advice on general picky children. last months parent magazine had an article. explaining most children go though this phase. it is actually part of our genetic makeup to be afraid of food around the age the we learn to be independently mobile. it is a safety mechanism so we don't eat anything we see. I found it helps to eat the food with the child and to keep trying. he may not grow out of it 'til he is 3 so just keep trying. another thing you can do is let him help make the food. it will get messy but some kid just need to be hands on for every thing.

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