Phasing Out Naps for One Child, Continuing Naps for the Other

When mine were 3 and 4, I had my little one take a nap in my room while my eldest played alone in their bedroom room or in the living room.

Now they are nearly 5 and 6 and sometimes they just need extra rest. On those days, I'll have them both have "rest time". They get to choose their spot (living room, my room, their room) but they have to be in a laying down position and quiet. They can read or otherwise amuse themselves while in bed. If they fall asleep, okay. If not, okay. But for 30, I don't want to hear a peep. This is my rest time too :-)

You can do quiet time for your 4 year old, books and quiet toys only. Put her in another room so she doesn't disturb her sibling, it can be your "one on one" time, too. Just explain that 4 year olds don't need to take naps, though my 4 year old would disagree ;) A little time apart is fine, it sets the stage for when your older child goes to school.

I had to do this with my twin girls. One needed a nap, the other didn't. The only thing that worked for me was separating them in two rooms for nap time. That meant that one went in my room and the other stayed in their bedroom. I rotated who got to go in my room because it became a treat. My first step was to get the non-napper settled in with books, then I put the napper to bed, and came back and checked on the non-napper.

My girls' naptime was two hours. The napper slept the entire time, and the non-napper was "required" to stay in the room quietly for an hour, then she could get up and play quietly or help me out around the house.

Why don't you have your 4 year old just have a "quiet time" while the other child takes their nap..

This quiet time could be a project, quietly looking at books.. but no nap..

My older one has quiet time every afternoon while my younger one naps. He can choose to play, read, color, etc as long as he's quiet.

It's ok to tell your younger one that three year olds nap and four year olds don't have to. Tell her that when she is four (or 4.5.... whatever your oldest really is), if she doesn't need naps anymore, she can stop them too. Let her know that there are privileges that come with reaching a certain age and she will get her turn as well.

If you don't have a playroom, consider letting your older one have her quiet time in your bedroom. Let her take in a few books, quiet toys, and coloring books. Set a time limit (maybe an hour to an hour and a half) and tell her she needs to stay in there and play quietly. If she comes out, take her right back. If she can't tell time, tell her you will come get her when her quiet time is over.

Definitely different schedules. I agree the 4 year old is done napping. She may need some quiet time with books or quiet activity, vs. actually sleeping. It's more important to keep the night-time schedule as is.

Have you seen the little foam chairs that fold out sort of like a "convertible" couch? Kids in our family used those - they each had their own chair, and it folded out to form a "bed" but it wasn't the same as their regular beds. They'd curl up in it and often fall asleep when they were resisting a nap. Maybe you could put the older one in that while the younger one slept?

You'll have to tell them they are doing quiet time separately from now on - don't tell the little one that the big one doesn't need a nap anymore or that the older one is getting "special time" with Mommy! Tell them quiet time is non-negotiable, and put in a simple clock with a "don't move until..." time.

What do you do now when one wakes up before the other? Does one wake up the sleeping child, or just leave the room quietly upon waking? If the older one can lie there for 30 minutes with a book without the younger one seeing her doing it, then she can tiptoe out when the clock says it's time. The younger one doesn't need to know the older one isn't sleeping.

This will keep you in the "quiet time" habit for when the 3 year old wants to give up naps but really isn't ready - there's always a 6 month period of torture when an overly tired child has stopped napping! Mine napped well past the age of 4 and he still got run down in the afternoon until he was about 5.

Just have some lay down/quiet time for 30 minutes or so.
Though NONE of my kids were still napping at three. They pretty much stopped napping when they potty trained, around two.
My BFF went through this as well,. I think it was harder on her than the kids, SHE needed a nap more than they did!
Oh and my kids NEVER went to bed before 9, but that was just us.

If she is still sleeping, let her sleep. Keep her busier in the afternoons so she is tired and ready for bed at 8. But I would separate their schedules some.

If she is done napping, I like the idea of giving them to different places to nap or take quiet time.

I'd let her take the nap. If she's still doing one often then she's needing it. She'll have to take a nap in kindergarten until at least Christmas Break.

I'd just work on helping her to get down and then let her lay there if she's not up running amok and disturbing everyone.

Have them both lay down at the same time. Wake the 4y earlier than the 3y.

If she's still willing to lay down for some quiet time and isn't waking your 3yo, I'd let her. When she becomes restless doing so, then find other types of quiet time to engage her.