Parent Shyness

Updated on July 12, 2008
T.K. asks from Plainfield, IL
8 answers

My son has been invited to his 1st kids birthday party, it is for a girl who is turning 2 in his class. I am so nervous, because I am a very shy person and don't really know how to talk to people and there are going to be other parents there. I know this isn't going to be the last party he is invited to and I will have to somehow get over this shyness. Any advise on how to do that, and be able to talk to people?

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R.

answers from Chicago on

Kids are the best remedy for shyness! Just talk about the kids! Another good conversation starter is to ask about summer vacations/plans. It's not easy when you don't know people; I've been there many times. it does get easier though! Good luck.

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J.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with what the other moms said. This is a good occasion for practicing - the conversation is easy to make.

I'm not exactly shy, but certain social situations with unfamiliar people sometimes are difficult for me so I have a couple of tricks I have used. If you have an outgoing friend, "channel" her. Think about how she acts and sort of imitate it. Or imagine an outgoing mom and play her role. Watch and comment on/compliment the other children - we all love that, especially when they're toddler aged. Look for ways you can quietly be helpful to the hostess or other parents/kids - big parties can be more work than they look like, and working together (putting out snacks or face painting or whatever) makes for comfortable conversation.

Oh, and best of all - remember that you are doing it for your baby, and find that Mama Tiger inside. I'm so much more outgoing than I was before kids, because I want them to have as much of a social network as possible. And I sometimes really have to push myself because with work and housework, I'd often rather just veg out at home than get out there and be sociable, but it's so worth the effort every once in a while.

Good luck! I hope you both have a great time.

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J.J.

answers from Chicago on

I agree, talking about your children and asking about their children are some of the easiest conversations to have - most parents love to talk about their children :-) It can be helpful to to have a few topics ready to talk about should you find lulls in conversation - the weather, vacations, summer activities, movies you've seen or want to see, etc. You can also keep busy helping with the children and activities. Good luck and have fun!

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S.E.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with Regina. You do not have to start the conversation if you do not feel comfortable but when someone does just talk about things you know and your children.

One thing have done in the past is if a mom is sitting close by and she has on an outfit you like or she is carrying a bag you like say, "I really like your outfit. Where did you get that?" or "Those are nice shoes your son has on, I have been looking for shoes like that."
Simple conversation is the best.

Good Luck

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E.P.

answers from Chicago on

If you are breaking out of your shyness...you choose a good party to practice at. You may be too busy to even think about your shyness with a bunch of 2 year olds around. Talking about the kids, making small talk about something positive that you've observed about the guest of honor..."he's quite tall, isn't he" or "I've noticed your son is so athletic/musically inclined/always happy...(anything positive about him is good), commenting on cute/fun things at the party or your hostess's home is always a good conversation starter. If worse comes to worse, there's the infamous..."how 'bout this crazy weather!" Finding someone else who is also uncomfortable will be a kind thing to do. Lending two hands to help with keeping kids entertained or helping with basic clean up is always appreciated. Keep it simple...if there's a lull go get some more lemonade or appetizers. Enjoy the party...this is a great step that you are taking - just take little steps and you'll have fun.

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E.R.

answers from Chicago on

Just relax and be yourself. Know that you are not alone. There might someone else there that feels the same way you do. Just make I contact and say hello to people as you come in. A good way to spark a conversation in a kids party is asking them who is there children. Talk about something you might be able to relate with.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I used to be a bit of a shy person, but that has changed since having kids and going to activities and parties with them. I usually have no problem starting a conversation with another mom because the kids become the focus of the conversation! You can start by simply asking basic questions: How old is your child? Is he/she your only child? Try to relax and have fun- it will probably go easier than you think!

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E.M.

answers from Chicago on

T.,
I used to feel like that, but I learned a simple trick...ask questions! People love to talk about themselves, so if you ask questions, you can usually just relax be a good listener. If it helps, make a list of some questions before you go. For example: "How does your child know the birthday girl? How long have you lived around here? Are you planning a summer vacation? Do you belong to a pool?"
Also, try to smile a lot. (This is something I don't do often enough and sometimes people think I don't like them or that I'm in a bad mood.)
Good luck!

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