No Motivation... HELP!!!!

Updated on October 19, 2010
C.K. asks from Fort Worth, TX
10 answers

I have been going through my postpartum pretty bad it seems. My doctor put me on lexapro but it really doesn't seem to be helping me. I personally don't think it is postpartum but my mom says it is. Anyways, I feel tired all the time and it's really easy to make me get in a bad mood. Now... let me be more clear on that... I love my girls and they don't make me upset, it is my husband and my uncle(we share a house with him). It seems like anything they do it just irritates the life out of me. An my husband is starting to get really upset that I don't wanna be close anymore or have any motivation to get up and clean all the time like I used to. I don't have a history of depression, so I honestly don't know if that is what this is or not. I don't feel depressed but I know I have symptoms of it. Anyone else have this problem, an if so how did you fix it?

My husband really is a good man, he helps me with the kids all the time and works his butt off so I can stay home with my babies.

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answers from Dallas on

I was having similar issues and the blood work came back saying I had a vitamin D deficiency. I was put on prescription vitamin D and it has made a huge difference. It also helped get my metabolism back in check.

Just another avenue to check...

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answers from New York on

Get your thyroid levels checked. Hypo-thyroidism symptoms mimic some symptoms of depression.

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answers from Allentown on

Love some of the answers that you got- and I struggled and still struggle with this right now! You are not alone. I push past this lithargic feeling by taking a GREAT multivitamin, and that makes all the difference in how I feel! I know it is hard to believe, but if I skip just one day, I am back to not wanting to do anything around the house, have no energy, no mental energy, and a short fuse! Make sure you are taking one that has a high absorbancy rate (mine is 85%- highest I have found) compared to your generic one a days which are at 10%- may as well not take them! I can give you a link for info on studies on this if you want!
This allows me to treat my hubby so much better as well- also works so hard, and comes home and helps with the kids! Hang in there, use the suggestions you got- and remember we are here to talk to if you need support along the way! - other moms with similar challanges! ;-)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Charlotte on

Ask the doctors to check your hormones. Perhaps they are out of whack. A blood workup might be in order. Do you get out of the house at all? Try several things, including Vitamin B supplements. I hope something helps soon for you!

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answers from Houston on

I felt like that and had a vitamin d deficiency too! or, it does sound like a little bit of post partum. You can try a different med if you think it may help, but you must wean off of the lexapro under the dr's care, stopping cold turkey could give you horrendous withdrawals symptoms!

As for the irritation, just try and refocus and let those annoying things slide. I know from experience it takes a great deal of patience to live with other people, and getting frustrated will only make it way worse. Try to have as good and calm communication as possible and overlook the little annoying things if you can, for your own sanity :).

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Charleston on

I went through that, about 4 weeks after bringing my daughter home. I couldnt do anything. I mean I did it but I had no motivation I cried constantly. My mom who is anti-medicine for things like that made me go to the Dr. They put me on an anit-depressant but it didnt help me either. it would just make my heart race, and it would literally wake me from a dead sleep and my heart rate would be 130 from being asleep. I took myself off it.
I wasnt sad. after thinking it through my problem was anxiety. I was having anxiety attacks and my Dr. just assumed it was depression. I was having trouble processing all the new things I was gonna have to do for a new baby. So I made a list and I gradually felt better after accomplishing each task. My list was comprised off meanial things. They were so small and easily accomplished, after I made the list.
I hope this helps and know that you arent alone in feeling that way and it will get better. Your doing a great job :)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

C. --
I don't remember if you're breastfeeding or not.
If you're not breastfeeding,
can you and your husband get away for a weekend, just the two of you?

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Good thoughts here...also...a little sunlight everyday can do wonders!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Stress causes depression, even if you don't feel depressed. I go through times of hormone imbalances and stress and it makes me so blah! I was on Lexapro too and it didn't help me, it made me crazy. I got off of it, started taking multivitamins, b-12, magnesium and iron and making sure that I never skip a meal (I'm a tad bit underweight). Good luck hun. I know times can be hard.

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answers from Portland on

How long have you been taking lexapro? If it's been a month or so, ask to try a different medication. I've taken several different ones over the years and know that some work and some don't work for me. Do not stop taking the Lexapro without your doctor's supervision. Stopping cold turkey can sometimes result in worse symptoms than you had when you first started taking it.

It doesn't matter what you call it, having the blah's and being easily irritated is no fun for anyone. Have you tried exercise like going for a walk every day. Do you get out of the house? Are you interested in doing anything in particular? Depression presents in many different ways. Perhaps you're thinking depression is feeling sad and wanting to cry. That is just one way it presents its self.

If you don't exercise, eat a balanced diet, and have an interest then try cultivating those activities. See if that helps.

How we feel and respond is directly related to how we think. Try, when you find yourself feeling irritated, telling yourself something positive about that person. Focus on positive ideas and get rid of the thinking that leads to irritation.

Perhaps make a list of everything that irritates you about your husband and uncle and then make a list of everything that you like about them. See if you can find enough to like to ignore the irritation. Also, underline the things that irritate that you could discuss with the person and perhaps change either the way they do something or the way you think about it. I've found that being able to talk about irritations with the other person helps me let go of the irritation even when nothing changes.

If you and your husband don't have date night, try that. You need to have good times with him to balance out all the stresses of parenting.

You mention not wanting to get up and clean. OK, don't clean but find something else as an incentive to get up. You're naturally tired. Allow yourself time to rest without feeling guilty. At the same time be sure to balance the rest with interesting time awake.

Perhaps counseling would help you. If nothing else, talking with someone would clarify for you what is going on. That in its self would be helpful.

Later: I had a thought related to my own experience. I used to clean all the time too. When I stopped I realized that my cleaning was a way of handling my anxiety and depression. Could you now be more irritable because you're not using the cleaning as an escape from the frustration? You're naturally too tired to clean and it's good that you're doing less. Perhaps finding another outlet for your feelings would help you be less irritable?

3 moms found this helpful
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