Needing a Little Reassurance About My 1 Year Old.........

I'm in agreement with Lehi. My son was at 10% for weight and 95% for height at 18 months (a drop in the weight from one year). Honestly I wasn't worried - we're a tall and lean group and he's breastfed. His hunger comes and goes and I've learned to respect that he does know when he does and does not want to eat. It is hard sometimes, but totally normal.

You might also consider breastfeeding MORE if you're comfortable with that, none of the solid foods are as nutrient dense as breastmilk

A..
Nursing on demand is the healthiest; physically, psychologically, emotionally. Don't stop unless you are not enjoying it. You can bump up your own fat intake as well hers by cooking with butter or eating more nuts and nut butters if you are veg. Those percentage charts are based on formula fed babies and look at the obesity rate in our country. Is your daughter happy? Her age is very active and therefore a logical time to wear off some baby fat. If she is happy she will not starve herself. If your Dr. isn't concerned you shouldn't be. If part of the problem is that Daddy is having trouble feeding her then read up about separation anxiety at this age. Quite normal and partly temporary. You are doing nothing wrong by giving her all the nursing you enjoy giving. It is what every baby needs.

A., we went through the same thing with my now 5 yo dd. She was 17 lbs at your dds age, is 31 lbs now - has been 31 lbs forever! She is just small, as her doc puts it, someone has to be at the top of the charts and someone has to be at the bottom. As long as your dd is healthy, developing like she should, and following her own small growth curve, I wouldn't worry. One thing, my doc suggest weaning my dd from nursing, as it sounds like your doc is saying - the thought is that if they take in too much bmilk, they will be too full for food. I weaned my dd - it broke my heart - but she did NOT start eating more food or gaining weight. I completely regret weaning her, I so wanted her to self wean as my other kids did. I would let your dd nurse as much as she wants, you KNOW that is good for her and she is getting calories in. When she does have milk, make it whole milk, and any dairy products - cheese, yogurt, etc - make them full fat. Use butter or cream cheese on her foods, add cheese to whatever you can. Make milkshakes for her, fruit smoothies, etc. Use nutritious food, but high calorie. Good luck. Email me at ____@____.com if you want to chat more. I am sure your dd will do fine. You are obviously a very caring mom.
S.

Hi A.,

I wouldn't worry about it too much. If the doctor isn't worried, I wouldn't worry. I went through a similar thing when my daughter was your daughter's age. All of a sudden food that she would eat without issue became an issue and because she was under the 25% for weight, I was concerned, but my daughter is petite like me so the doctor said the same thing that she would just be thin and short growing up, which is what I was growing up.

The main thing you want to ensure is that you don't get discouraged and give up. This is the first test of many on us as mothers. (She'll go through another stage around 2 years of age. I don't know how many more tests I have since mine is 2 1/2 and I noticed that she now goes through cravings...right now she's on a cereal kick. LOL!) It's all about us learning how to be understanding yet still striving to instill healthy eating habits.

So my advice is this, in each meal include one food you know your daughter will eat along with one that maybe she will eat along with introducing foods you would like her to eat. I always follow the food rule. I decide what to make (although sometimes now I will give her a choice), but she gets to decide what to eat of what I serve her and how much she eats. I never worried if she ate very little at one meal because she would make it up at another.

Also, keep in mind that your daughter's growth will start to slow down at this point so she doesn't need much food. Normal food consumption is 1 to 2 Tbs of each food served. That's really not a lot of food if you think about it! At age 2, it goes up to 2-4 Tbs, but I find my daughter will not eat good at one meal and make it up on the other two so realize that it is stressful at first, but once you learn your daughter's pattern, you will relax and be assured that she's okay and she's healthy and that's the most important thing.

Finally, I think about in a world of increasing obesity, having a daughter who's on the leaner side because she is so active and not eating a lot of junk food isn't such a bad thing. Maybe it will pay off later in life. Good luck!

Angie

A.,

Keep breastfeeding as much as possible! Your child will be on processed foods for the rest of her life. Why the urgency to eat begin this process any sooner? This is the only opportunity you have to give her the ideal nutrition, breast milk.

97% is great! Especially for height. Imaging if height and weight were switched you would have a shorter fatter child instead of long and lean. Think of the long term repurcussions of babies who are not breastfed and are too heavy.

A really wonderful book is Nursing your toddler. Also, Ask Dr Sears Web site has never failed. It is excellent.

I also have cause for concern for any doctor that says nurse less. This is the one time in your life and your child's life that you can have positive health benefits that will impact both of you long term. Including better cholesterol levels as an adult, (for your child) and breast cancer and diabetes risk reduction for you. IQ and many others are great reason for nursing. Perhaps consider looking for a physician that has more experience and background in breast feeding. They are out there! American Medical schools spend very little time on nursing and it is such a crucial issue with regards to long term health of our country.

In our culture today, we have this urgency to make our babies wean, crawl and walk and be independent as early as possible. In reality, met needs go away, unmet needs go underground and can resurface later as bigger issues. Take your time in each stage.

Enjoy this time with your little one and whenever in doubt, offer the breast. It is a powerful parenting tool.

Go to www.lightlink.com/hilinda/Diane/breastorbottle.html to see some really great info on breastfeeding benefits.

Also, keep in mind, small children are experts at quitting when they are full and eating when they are hungry, a task I wish I could master as an adult!

Take care and cherish this time,
J.

Your daughter is entering a completely normal stage of development. Feeding your child over the next handful of years gets challenging. Provide appetizing and balanced meals for her, and let her decide what she needs. This is also a time when they start losing their baby shape and start slimming out. I had a friend who was worried about her son's weight when he was that age. The doctor had them giving him Pediasure. The funny thing is, a few years later she was worrying he was too heavy! All this worry! Try to relax or she'll probably just pick up on your stress. Good luck!

Nurse her as often as she wishes. Breastmilk is super high in fat (moreso than whole cows milk or any other high fat food) and its more nutrient dense. Stopping nursing will only deprive her of what she needs now that she is going through this stage. Nurse her on demand and give her plates of the food you eat, cut up small of course, let her choose what she wants to eat and call it good. SHe wont'; starve herself, her body doesn't need as muc hright now as she's not growing as rapidly as she was her first year.

Relax, nurse on demand, and let her regulate her food intake. SHe's fine, she won't starve herself and will eat when she is hungry.

If she is happy, has energy, and normal urine & bowel movements, relax. Those percentile charts are a good GUIDE, they are not the gospel-truth and not worth losing much sleep over. Your doctor isn't worried, and it doesn't sound like your husband is, either.

Not all toddlers are fat or chubby. Remember, just a few bites IS a lot of food to a toddler. She will eat when she's hungry, and stop when she's full.

If you'd like to see her eat more, you could try offering her food at closer intervals throughout the day. I'd try every 2 hours while she's awake--she may be a grazer.

Good luck!

The way I understand it, the more a parent pushes, the more the kids refuse.

I also worried a lot about my son (he's 24 months). His weight went way down (to my eyes) when we stopped giving him the bottle. But little by little he started to get the idea that he needed to take bites and chew instead of just drink.

How much does your daughter drink? I got some nutrients into my son by adding the 9 months - 24 months formula to his milk (whole, vitamin D), in his zippy cup.

Have you tried not trying to force her to eat? When you put food on her plate, do you put only 3 or 4 bites or a whole lot? I suggest you do sit her down to eat but don't force her to eat. Put only a small amount of food on her plate.

Keep up the good work with the nutritious stuff. Fruits and veggies are good for them and it's now that you teach her they are delicious. :)

You said "her" meals. Does it mean that you prepare special meals just for her? If so, try instead to serve her whatever you prepare for the family. She will be more apt to eat what you put on her plate if she sees you and her dad eat it (and saying 'hmmm').

I know it's hard (I really do know it's hard!) but try not to be too freaked out about it. She's picking up on it!

Good Luck!

My son did this from about 15 months to 3 1/2 years old. It drove me CRAZY. I can't tell you how many times I took him to the doctor. She told me kids won't starve themselves. His stomach was so little, that only a few bites here and there were all he needed. She said just to make sure I had healthy snacks like bananas and carrots for when he did finally want to eat. Once I stopped stressing about it so much, he seemed to eat more. I know how frustrating this is! :) Good luck, and just know that in time it will pass. :)

Healthy fats like olives (cut to slivers), olive oil, and avacado.

A.,

The first thing to do is relax. Children are SO perceptive; they know just how to push our buttons. And they don't starve themselves to death - just worry their parents that they will. Don't get too worked up about charts and comparisons. Genetics are a big part of a person's frame and if you and your husband are both tall and thin, she probably will be, too.

Regarding adding a little padding to your daughter, there are lots of things you can do. Add healthy fat where you can - peanut butter (if you're certain she isn't allergic,) olive oil, butter - into her foods. Give her whole milk to drink more than water.

Also, this will sound counterintuitive, but cut out the snacks. I have seen kids who never eat decent meals because they are constantly around food. Why bother to eat when snacks are coming in an hour or two? And it ruins their appetite so they are never properly hungry. What's the latest weight LOSS advice? Eat lots of small meals throughout the day.

Good luck,
S.

All 1 year olds go through this. They will seem not to eat anything and then begin to eat more later. They go in eating cycles as they grow. Continue to offer her healthy foods and only have her eat and drink at the table for meals and snacks. Don't allow her to graze all day long or carry a sippy cup around. I would conitue to nurse her as long as you like for that 1 feeding.

Relax, she is fine and normal. If you make a big deal over it she will begin to feel like she is being forced to eat and then it will become a battle of the wills. God gave our bodies the ability to decide when we are hungry so trust that when she says she is done then she is done.

One thing that might help is if there are no extra distractions around like having the T.V. on. Make meal time - family time and linger at the table. Even if she is done eating you and your husband can talk about the day and include her in the conversation as her language development allows. Make meal time a relaxing time and force yourself to say, "alright" with a smile when she says she is done eating.

As well as the doctor you already consult with in regards to your daughter, you can always check with a homeopatic/alternative type of medicine doctor who specializes in working with children, for some additional legitimately good advice on your daughter. In the meantime, you can feed her good, healthy things such as:
avocado chunks
cottage cheese
queso fresco (yum)
sugar-snap peas
bananas
poached egg on buttered toast
rice cakes
freshly cooked chunks of chicken breast
non-homogenized organic milk
...and yogurt of course!

We like to visit our chiropractor from time to time to discuss nutrition and nutritional supplements and he really has had some very good advice which we've happily followed. Also it is not too soon to start teaching her yoga exercises, which are beneficial for anyone's body. Also, try reducing your level of stress, for our children are very good barometers for how bad or good we moms are feeling. I hope things get feeling better for you. The first baby is very difficult because it can be a super-stressful experience, especially during the first two years.

If she's happy, sleeping well, and generally healthy I wouldn't worry too much about it.

My 10 month old is very picky about eating. I give him a choice when it's time to eat: I'll offer a jar or a Graduate box and let him choose one. If he doesn't choose one, I'll try something else until he picks something to eat. He generally will eat what he picks. Not all of it, but most of it or at least enough that I know he's getting what he needs.

He still takes 3 bottles a day, so he isn't refusing formula like it sounds your daughter is refusing to nurse. Weaning is supposed to happen around a year, which it sounds like your daughter is doing well, but perhaps she misses the closeness and/or just the taste. Do you offer breastmilk in a cup for her at meal times? She might be comforted by the taste/smell and drink more if it's offered throughout the day. Have you tried snacks during the day? Yogurt/cheese/applesauce, etc... just something "special" she might enjoy that is outside the normal meal times? Maybe find a different place for snacks than meal time, and make it special for her.

She sounds healthy and happy, so I wouldn't be too concerned. My 10 month old is just the opposite: greater than 97% weight and 75% height and I'm not worried about him at all. He'll even out eventually, as I'm sure your daughter will. Children know what they need to eat and they aren't shy about it, and it's been said that toddlers can survive on much less than their parents believe they can.

Hope you feel better about the situation soon, the stress on you may be transferring to her so relaxing will certainly be good for you and maybe help her as well.

Hi A., our neice was the same way and it lasted until just recently when she just now turned 5. She was very picky, would only eat little bits at a time and stayed very thin. Now she is finally eating more and putting on some normal weight. I wish I had some ideas but honestly you probably know what she likes better than anyone, just keep offering the things that she will take a few bites of and see if it improves.
E.

heres the good thing about kids; they dont get anorexia, they wont starve themselves to death, and they WILL eat when they are hungry.
kids will go through times when they arent hungry for one reason or another. some reasons are teething, illness (colds or something), or just the process of a growth spurt.
kids grow TALL AND SKINNY and then they will "plump" up again and then they will get tall and skinny again.
dont worry
just dont worry. dont force her to eat if shes not hungry. shes listening to her body's cues, and dont force her to eat when her body is telling her no. you want her to listen to her bodys hunger/not hungry cues. this creates a healthy relationship with food and diet.
just keep serving her foods. make sure the foods you do serve her are HIGH in nutrition. snacks like apples and peanut butter, make sure to give her vitamins to maybe keep the nutrition going, fun kid snacks. raisins, toast, pancakes (you can use baby cereal in pancakes! and they taste terrific! and its a boost in iron!)
anyway, just be patient, and soon enough she will be eating you out of house and home.
whatever you do, DO NOT feel forced to stop breastfeeding!!! it is actually VERY important when shes not eating a lot of solids to MAKE SURE she is getting the nutrition she needs. breastmilk is perfect for her growing body, no matter what solids shes eating. you are doing an AWESOME thing by breastfeeding this long (i breastfed my son until he self weaned at 19 months!!) and its very comforting to know that every time she breastfeeds its another boost to her health. dont worry about what she looks like physically, cuz that will fluctuate. :D
anyway,
good luck and keep doing what you know you should do. dont worry about the doc's recommendation to nurse less, you should actually nurse on demand - dont ask, dont refuse. :D like i said, breastmilk is EXCELLENTLY healthy for her!

We brought this same concern to our daughter's doctor, and the doctor said that we can't force her to eat, and we don't want to when childhood obesity these days is so common. She told us: It's your job to provide the food, it's her job to eat it. Our daughter is 2.5 years old and weighs 25 pounds. Sometimes she'll eat a lot, other times, a half cup of yogurt is all she'll have at dinner. She's happy and healthy, and that's what counts! Don't worry!

My little girl was less than 20 lbs, but about the same height as yours at one, now she will be two in a week, still only weighs 22 pounds, and 33 inches tall - the DR. has never mentioned it, and she eats, and has developed fine n every other way. Everyone has their own size and shape, as long as eh si peeing and pooping and eating and drinking, I would say she is fine!

I don't think you need to worry much about getting her "back on track" because she sounds like she IS on track! 35% in weight and 97% in height sounds exactly like my son. Don't do her a disservice by "obsessing about her not eating." She will eat when she needs to eat. It's a basic survival instinct.

The advise you are getting is good and I have to agree with most of the posts. (did't read them all) She is eating when hungry and you are giving her the best foods then don't sweat it too much. As long as you see growth then she is doing fine. What happens is some mile stone they hit at that age is more important than eating. For example if she has only been walking for a month, now that she knows how, she will be more interested in doing that until it comes natural to her. Feed her about 6 times a day, and she will do fine.

The advice I received when my daughter went through this phase was: be careful.Your child may be picking up on your reactions to her. Instead respond by offering her food or try giving her two choices. Another idea is to wet her appetite before a meal. Start with something little, say a few fresh slices of apple or cantelope, or little pieces of cheese. If youre worried about her nutrition you could try childrens liquid nutritional drinks by Ensure; its loaded with vitamins. Try to not obsess, she will not starve. Its probably a phase. Godspeed

A. -

It sounds as though you are doing everything right. Yes, they do go through this phase, my son did also. The only advice I can give you is when at the table and she says done, say something along the lines of 2 more bites. She won't know how many 2 is and I have been known to get my son to eat most of his plate by repeating these simple words. Also, make sure she has her 2 or 3 healthy snacks per day. Maybe she is going through a grazing period where she would rather eat on the run rather than sit for a meal. We went through that also, and still do from time to time and our son just turned 2.

Hope this helps, she will be fine.

You know, I have always fought my weight my whole life, and my 18 month old daughter has my build, and I can feel the anxiety over the fact that she will never be skinny. Are you maybe projecting your own issues on her? Each person has their own build, and I know that I am going to be fighting like crazy to not give her issues that are mine. A child's portion size is the same as their fist, so it is not big at all. She will eat if she is hungry. As long as she is continuing to grow, and the doctor is not worried, then maybe you are stressing about nothing. Good luck to you! It is so hard with a daughter to not worry about protecting them from all the "stuff" we experienced, but they have to go through it, just like we did.