Need Advice on Getting My 9 Month Old to Sleep Through the Night

Hi G.
My son did not sleep through the night until he was 15 months old, so I understand what you are going through. Dr. Weissbluth's book helped solve his sleep issues. Below is the link to his book:
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp...
Good luck!

You definitely need to be doing some kids of sleep training with him. Remember that it is not unkind to leave him to cry - you are helping him within a short period of time to get into a good pattern of sleep, which will allow him to grow and develop as he needs to and to be well rested for all his activities during the day. Also it sounds like you desperately need the rest and once he is sleeping it will allow you to be a less exhausted mother - good for everyone.
In order to let him learn to self-soothe, he does need to be sleeping on his own.
Is there another room you can move him into? If you don't have a second bedroom, is there a study/dining room you could use instead? If it on a different floor, a baby monitor means this is fine (and you can switch it off for a little while if you need to let him cry). Or could you guys sleep on the sofa for a few nights and let him have the bedroom to himself?
I found that a few nights (about 2 or 3) with each of my kids being left to cry for a while (max 20-30 minutes each time) meant they started to sleep through 12 hours straight each night and we were a much happier family!

Hi There,
It sounds like your little one isn't getting enough solid chunks of sleep during the day, so he is overtired at night, and having trouble sleeping. If you try to push his first nap back a little, maybe he will start to sleep a little longer. Then push his second nap until later in the day, and start skipping a third nap. Little cat naps aren't really doing much for him at this point. Then, at night, I suggest putting him in a different room if at all possible. Then, just let him cry for a couple of nights. If you want, you can try going in his room and lying him back down, don't say anything, just let him know you are there. Then, wait a little longer, and do the same thing... etc. He is getting up out of habit at this point, and needs to learn to soothe himself back to sleep.

Good Luck!

if you have the room, you should put him in his own room. you should try having your husband only (whenver possible) to get up and calm him down.
it may take a few days of trying, but it will work. just have to be very patient and persistent! also, make sure he is not teething or feeling sick, those can screw up any routine you have worked hard to establish.

Sleep expert Dr. Marc Weissbluth gives advice about scheduling naps and sleep:
http://billiediscoverytoys.blogspot.com/2008/09/sleep-beg...

Ugh- I went thru the same thing when my son was young and we shared a room. Other people have recommended the book, "Healthy sleep habits, happy baby"-- and I have to agree. The book and the sleep training methods were miracle workers for me. It goes chapter by chapter advising how much your baby should be sleeping/napping according to age and gives you very direct instructions on how to make this happen.. It does involve letting the baby "cry it out" which is hard, but it works. When I was doing it with my son, I would sit in my tiny manhattan apt kitchen on the floor sipping on a glass of wine and talking on the phone with my sister, who would re-read me segmants of the book and give me encouragement to stay on the phone and not to go pick him up!.. Sounds crazy, but he and I both needed the sleep, and sure enough, within a week of following the methods, he became a GREAT sleeper, and still is a great sleeper to this day. Even now when he wakes in the middle of the night on a rare occasion, he soothes himself back to sleep within a few minutes and I usually do not even have to get out of bed! Also, maybe you can sleep on the couch while your husband's out of town and use these nights to bite the bullet and do the training. It's so worth it once you're all getting the sleep you need. Good luck with whatever you decide to try :)

Sorry about your troubles!! Try putting your son in his own room. That way, he won't be able to see you1! Good luck!

Start a sleep routine--a song you sing or cd you play, accompanied by milk or paci which he identifies with rest/calm then leave the room. If he cries go in and gradually lengthen how fast you go in. Also try not to pick him up (you may have to at some point...even just to put paci back in mouth, sing again then leave)...do this as many times as necessary the first night (also good to switch off so do one night when husband is home). It shouldn't take more than a few days and he'll sleep thru night. Also know the first night is hardest and you'll be called in by a crying baby at least every 15 minutes and also discuss how long you'll let him cry max. Do not let them cry more than u can handle.good luck. At this age they don't need the food for nutrition, just miss you....

Oh mama, I feel for you - it can be a really hard time. I've heard of people having success with the book "Good Night, Sleep Tight"... it's kind of halfway between CIO and No-Cry Sleep Solution. Sleep is so important for all of you... I H. something works out soon.

I went through the same thing with our daughter when she was about 9 months. Unfortunately, unless you can create a superficial wall so that he can't see you, you're going to have a hard time with this. Co-sleeping is something we tried and worked like a charm until our daughter started staying awake because being with us stimulated her rather than calmed. The only way we were able to rectify the solution once and for all was to move our daughter (then 14 months) out of our room and into her own (which required moving apartments all together). It took three painful nights of her crying for up to two hours at a time but now she does sleep through the night for up to 12 hour stretches. If you do not have a room to move your son into, books I read suggested you sleep out in the living room for a 1-2 weeks in order to sleep train and give time for a new sleep pattern to be established.

Hope this helps.

MOVE HIM OUT OF YOUR ROOM. Once you do that, he will probably start to get better. My first son's sleeping changed dramatically at 4 months when we moved him out of our room. My little guy (7 months) is still in our room because of a family sickness we had to give his room away. But his sleep habits disrupt us and ours disrupt him. I am working on moving him out of our room even if that means to the hallway for a few weeks!

Can you put him in a different room? My daughter sleeps in her own room but I can see her on a video monitor. She often wakes up a few times during the night but just moves around a little and goes back to sleep on her own. When we are traveling and she sleeps in the same room as us, she usually wakes up a few times during the night but sees us so she wants us and will cry.

It's hard to hear them cry but after a couple of nights, they get the idea. I also just bought a sounds machine and it worked wonders for some reason. Maybe you should try it. He likes the Babbling Brook sound.

G.,
My daughter slept really horribly for the first year of her life, so I can relate to the sleep deprivation and angst you're going through!

My solution was to co-sleep. I know people go on and on about how awful it is, but I say tell them to shove it. What's more awful? Sleep or no sleep?

I found letting her sleep in bed with me meant she slept longer, and more soundly. She would still get up for a feeding sometimes, but it was only a matter of reaching over to her, instead of getting up, and trying to get her back to sleep and to stay in her crib.

Hi G., I feel your pain. I had my last 2 sons in my room for too long (until we got a house) One would wake up many times and I would take him out of the room because my husband needed to go to work (UPS driver) I would sometimes bring him into my bed so I could sleep too. He did grow out of this stage. Maybe he takes too many naps. He could also be having trouble because you went back to work and wants to check if you are still there. There is no easy answer. I pray you can find a way. Grandma Mary

You and your baby both need more sleep! I also recommend the Weissbluth book:

http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp...

He probably needs to go to bed even earlier than 7pm, especially since he's not napping enough during the day. And putting him in his own room (if you have the space), could help a lot too. My daughter started sleeping through the night once we put her in her own room. Go get that book! Good luck!!

Two things...if he still drinks a bottle, put cereal in it at night. It helps them sleep longer.....time for his own room maybe?

Nanc

I would try using Valerian Root, you can put a little of the fragrance on your sons pillow and it will help him sleep. it is an organic all natural product that can be purchased through most health food stores.

This is a link to Back to the land health food- there are FAQ's related to Valerian and other information or you here.

http://www.backtothelandnaturalfoods.com/common/adam/Disp...

have a wonderful day.

You have my son's twin!! UGH. I truly know what you're going through. When my son was that age, I was 6 months pregnant with #2 and working full time (with excellent help from my husband though) and was at my wit's end. I skimmed through the other responses and have 2 thoughts: YES, READ the Weissbluth book! Saved my life (didn't start until 8 months old and it still worked wonders). My other thought, which you're probably not going to love me for: neither of my kids slept through the night until after 12 months. I don't know why, could have been the many illnesses/ear infections, could have been my son's celiac disease causing him pain before I knew he had it, could have been my daughter's snoring problems, who knows. But it also could just be that my kids just plain weren't ready for the 11-12 hour stretch until later. At 9 months, the only promise is the MOST babies should be able to go all night without needing food/bottle. (And this WAS true for my kids). Hang in there - you will feel like a new person with newfound happiness once you get some more sleep.

Oh, and yes, we did cry it out. Reluctantly, after we tried EVERYthing else. And I mean everything. Letting the kids cry took 3 days for my son (who was 9.5 months when we tried it) and 1 day for my daughter (who was only 6 months). Letting your kid cry might be hard, but it's not cruel and horrible or abusive. Teaching your child to soothe himself and learn excellent sleep routines and habits is a life long blessing for him.

Have you tried giving him a bottle?
Perhaps he is hungry.
Babies usually will sleep well if they are satisfied.
Does he get a bottle when you put him down at 8 pm?

I am NOT a fan of letting a baby cry it out. It is very stressful on you and your baby.
Most babies do not wake up in the middle of the night and cry just for the heck of it. They want nothing more than to sleep soundly through the night.
Since it seems making him cry is not working anyway, try giving him a bottle...he may just be going through a growth spirt and needs a little more to eat to get him off. He will outgrow this soon as long as his needs are being met.
Good luck!
P.S. My daughter is 15 months old and has been sleeping through the night since she was 6-7 months old. There were some times, especially when she was teething, that she would have a rough night, but a little formula or a pacifier would help her get back off to sleep. If it was very bad, I gave her some Tylenol.
I never let my daughter "cry it out" and I didn't care what the books and "experts" had to say. It is just plain cruel. And my daughter is a great sleeper without having to go through that horror!
Hey, 8 months is definitely "teething time"
Is he cutting teeth?