Need Advice - Ontario, CA

I would not worry- children need different amounts of sleep- some sleep the whole day away. Some only need a few hrs. If you are getting 2, 2 hr naps or 1, 4 hr nap (or less), it just may be his clock. It sounds like he is healthy otherwise. Neither of my kids took long naps(my daughter slept very little throughout the day) and they are fine. I would however put him to nap, whether he sleeps or not- this will get him in the routine for quiet time and as he gets older and is able to occupy himself, it will just be a relaxing time and it will just be expected that he will spend ________ amount of time in his room, which will give you a break too.

Where does he sleep? In a crib?

Try making the room completely quiet and dark... or put on some "white noise" like a fan on low. That is what I do with my son.
Or, try and get a crib "canopy" to put on the crib... this can make the crib feel more "cozy" and it can block out external stimuli which irritates some babies as all those mobile stuff can just over-stimulate them and make it hard to sleep.

Or, swaddle him before sleep/nap... some babies like this, and this is the only way they will sleep.

He is probably OVER tired... "over tired" babies actually CANNOT sleep very well, nor fall asleep well, nor do they sleep well once they do fall asleep. He is probably possibly being put to nap AFTER he is already too tired... so try and put him to nap BEFORE he gets too tired... look for his "tired" signs... ie: rubbing eyes/fussy/unfocused/yawning etc.

At this age, a baby needs to nap after about 2-3 hours of "awake" time... at this age, even a diaper change and a bath is an "activity." A baby this age very often takes 2 naps...in the morning and in the afternoon.

He probably gets fussy at about 4:00-8:00p.m. because is he TOO tired by then, without napping, and just needs to go to bed.
A "fussy" baby = a tired baby, or a hungry baby, or a gassy baby or a teething baby.

I would recommend the book "Secrets of The Baby Whisperer- how to calm, connect, and communicate with your baby" By Tracy Hogg. Read it to get tips...and to familiarize yourself with baby "signals."

Your are NOT a "bad" Mom... it takes time to "know" a baby and what he/she is trying to tell us. You are completely normal... don't worry.

Before putting him down for a nap, be sure he is not over-tired, and not keyed up... just get relaxed, darken the room, get in a "quiet" mood with him and soothing... and then nurse him, and have cuddle time...then put him in the crib.
Or swaddle him before hand.

I know it's not easy....and not all babies are the same.. but good luck,
Susan

We've all been there and the helplessness feeling does go away-promise. I wouldn't worry much. None of what you mentioned sounds that bad to me. Babies have varying schedules and every baby is different. Next week he could sleep all day and be up all night! The evening is always a rough time for babies and he may be a touch colicky. Try giving him gas drops in the afternoon and evening feedings and some orajel or teething tablets for his gums. Frozen teethers are great too.
For now, enjoy the chance to sleep all night after some fun with your hubby! Both of those things will make you a great mom and wife!

It sounds to me like he's getting enough sleep! 4 hours during the day and all night sounds about right for this age I think...
It's also normal for babies to be fussy at the end of the day - maybe from over-stimulation, or starting to get tired, etc. Just try and stick to more quiet activities during these hours see if that helps. I think you're doing just fine! :)

I know we hear that babies are supposed to sleep a certain amount of time during the day, but every kid is different. I thought I was going to pull my hair out, my daughter only slept 20 minuttes twice a day until she was 9 months old. I asked a lady that I know who had 10 kids and she told me that it can be normal, all her kids were different. I'm sure your doing just fine, and people will tell you to try whatever if they have never experienced it. With babies everyone thinks their way is best. Don't worry for now, just go with the flow. Good Luck!

It sounds like you are getting alot of the same advice. So apparently your not a bad mom, we just got the kind that don't need alot of sleep. My Oldest only cat-napped in the day, no mater if I held her or tried laying her down. A good 15 to 20 minute nap is all she ever toke, and a horrible sleeper at night to. But that changed when she got older. We never had a regular naptime, she fell asleep when tiered only.

The other moms are correct you know your baby best, you just need to figure out how to work around these short naps, and remember the minute something works enjoy it because something will come along and change it.(sickness, teething, vacations ect.)

Don't ever tell yourself your a bad mom, and don't let anyone else tell you that you are a bad mom. If you love your baby enough that you would do anything to make them happy your a GREAT MOM. We all get frustrated, angry, sleep deprived. It's ok as long as we aren't taking it out on our babies. I remember one evening I couldn't figure out why my baby kept crying I was upset and at my wits end. I finally just put the baby in the crib walked out and closed the door. My hubby told me I was a bad mom, that she was just a baby, I shouldn't let her get to me, and if I wasn't cappable of handling this one I shouldn't have anymore. Which only made me feel worse. I told him then fine you go make her stop crying if your so much better then I. He said, no your the mom get over it and go take care of her. I told him that I needed to cool down before I tried again because I didn't want to hurt her, and that I was a good mom because I knew when I had had enough and needed to cool down. I knew she was safe and breathing in her crib. I walked out of the apartment because my spouse wasn't helping me to calm down, nor was he trying to comfort the baby in anyway. I came back in in approx. 5 to 10 minutes and picked up the baby cuddled her loved her and told her I was sorry for not knowing how to help her. She calmed down rather quickly after that. This is when I knew I had done the smartest thing ever. I never let myself get that upset again. When I couldn't fix her I put her in the crib for a time out and came back in a few minutes. Sometimes that's all she needed to realize that it was have mommy or crib. I looked at my spouse as what an idiot. He not once tried to help me out but sure could make me feel worse. What good is that! You should never put anyone down especially if you aren't going to try to help them out. I'm a good mom because I didn't shake my baby, hit her or hurt her. That's the bottom line.

If your baby is cranky at a certain time a night try going for a walk or the swing think about diffrent things that might comfort your boy to make this time easier. Your a good mom you'll figure it out and as soon as you do, you'll be trying to figure something else out. That's why us moms are so smart. We are always trying to read others minds. Good Luck to you! Happy Thanksgiving! J.

OMG! Your request sounds exactly like my little guy (actually the whole thing sounds like me). I am almost 30, with an almost 4 month old, and have been married for just over 3-1/2 years! Funny.

Anyway, my son only takes about 1 or 2 naps during the day, and they are only from 30 minutes to an hour each. We put him down at 7 and he sleeps until 7 the next morning. So we are thrilled for the sleep time at night. Trust us - you have the best situation.

Some babies just don't need to nap very much if they sleep well at night. And during those fussy periods, feed him, take him for a walk in the baby carrier, or something to engage him so you distract him from being fussy.

Good luck!

A., a lot of babies just don't need a lot of sleep during the day. Plus, this phase is just temporary anyway. You'll see that things will change again soon. It's ALWAYS changing. Routines, eating, sleeping habits.
Don't feel like a bad mom. There is always a family who is worse off then you, trust me. You'll get through it. Do what works for the baby. If he doesn't nap during the day, then he probably just doesn't need them. Use the awake time to your advantage and start showing him flash cards of animals and shapes. Oh, and believe me A., you know your baby better then anyone in this world, and don't you forget it!
Good luck!

i used to stand out on my porch and push my son back and forth in his stroller for about 20 minutes til he fell asleep...i'd face him towards a boring wall..i'd do this a couple times a day..he'd sleep for about 1.5 hours..once he'd fall asleep i'd roll the stroller into his room..kept it really dark ..still do w/ black out curtains
sometimes they don't sleep well b/c of reflux..that is why i had him in the stroller so i could have his head elevated...i also wore him a lot and had him nap on me.
I wish i had known about those electric rocking bassinets!

They GUARANTEE this to work ... All of my friends did (and some of them have 4-6 kids and it worked for every one of them) .... so I tried it, and despite the fact that my son was born with a cleft palate and had two major surgeries in his first year, it still worked for us! It just took him an extra month to accomplish sleeping through the night. As a matter of fact, it worked so well, that he took 3 hour naps EVERY DAY until this year, when he entered First grade!

http://infantstoddlers.suite101.com/article.cfm/babywise_...

I swear by it if you follow it consistently!

I always head to the park in the afternoon. If we stay inside, our afternoon is not so great. Lots of babies are fussy at this time of day. Being outside is the best thing for it. There are distractions outside that keep their minds off teething and internal distress. Teething hardly lets up once it starts... (my daughter is 13 months and is cutting her twelfth tooth) you just have to find distractions as a way to deal with it.

4 hours of napping during the day, AND sleeping well @ night? Consider yourself lucky=)

It is always difficult when you don't know what to do. I relied heavily on a book called "What to Expect the First Year" (written by the same people that wrote "What To Expect When Your Expecting"). This book answered so many of my questions about sleep, teething, how much food my baby should eat, how and when to start feeding cereal, what to do if my baby was sick, and when to talk to the doctor. Also, how to handle advice from others, and how to listen to your own intuition.

my daughter is 6 mo old 14 lbs and primarily takes cat naps (30 min) every 2 hours during the day. at night she's up every 2 hours also, but goes right back to sleep.

i'm used to it and have accepted it as her personality. unless you 'ferberize' or try formal sleep training (book: healthly sleep habits, happy child by marc weissbluth) just enjoy the wakeful hours while you are home--you'll be back at work soon and will have even fewer wake time with him.

and u do know ur child-- better than any other mom who's had 15 kids...
good luck!

I can't say enough about Davis Erhler's 3 day sleep solution - your little boy will be sleeping in no time!! Go to www.3daysleep.com and get her video - it's cheap and quick to watch!! I consulted w/her for my son and he was sleeping 12hrs/night at 4 months. All babies are different but she has great sleeping tips for healthy and great sleeping habits. 4 months is a hard month - a lot going on so be patient and 'consistency' is key!
Good luck!! :)

Just like every baby has a different personality, every baby has a different sleep personality. My baby has only slept for 30 min naps and usually 3 of those a day since he was about 3 months old. And there are so many changes and stages that the baby goes through in the first year. You think you have it all figured out and then the baby changes, all normal. My baby also got fussy in the evening at that age and then at about 6-8months there was another change and the crying baby that my husband used to come home to became the smiling baby who greeted him on his arrival.
Your feelings are very common but please be assured that nobody knows your baby better than you. Take all the advice you get and weigh it and try what you think makes sense to you. When I look back at the first year (my baby is almost 12 months old now) I am amazed at all the changes the baby went through in that year and like other moms have said, sometimes one day everything clicks. Something you have tried several times all of a sudden works or the baby progresses through a stage and you are onto a different challenge or enjoying a new stage of development. As I look back now, I realize that at the 4th month, you are in the thick of it in terms of scheduling and sleep challenges and it WILL get easier. Good luck.
K.

You're doing fine! You'll figure it out. My son is 7 mo. and at that time he had this schedule(maybe this will help).
Woke at 7, morning nap @ 8:30, woke at 9:30, play till noon.
Afternoon nap 12-2:00. Eve nap at 4:00-5:00. Ate cereal for dinner,then bath, then bed by 7ish. He would sometimes sleep through the night, usually not. That's 3 shorter naps, but it adds up to 15hours and that what they should be getting.
Your son may need that extra evening cat nap. My son also got 2 teeth at once during this time. I bought baby Orajel to take the edge off and it was a perfect soother around 3:00 and/or bed-time.
Breast feed on demand,forget the formula if it doesn't work for you and the cereal too, if you don't want. The breast will soothe and feed him all his nutrients.
Also the stomach is maturing at this stage and baby will need more burbs. If baby starts crying out in pain, that means bubbles! : )
Best of luck!
A.

Hi A. - this all sounds perfectly normal! All babies are different - some sleep more, some less. If your bub is sleeping well at night, be happy with that! Don't worry too much about how many hours they are "supposed" to sleep - as long as he is thriving (which it sounds like he is), then there is nothing to worry about.
The fussy time in the evening is very common - it doesn't mean they need to be weaned, or are not getting enough sleep during the day, it it just an unsettled time of day. You could try putting him to bed a little bit earlier if it is really bothering you, but otherwise I wouldn't worry - he will grow out of it.
It sounds like you are doing everything well and he is thriving - just enjoy it and don't worry about others "sleep requirements and advice"!

I am also the proud mother of two boys, my oldest one slept since he was born up to now, he is now eleven and loves to sleep, on the other hand I have my now seven year old, he never had a nap at all. But as your baby, also slept thru the night at very early age, so they are both so different. I know sometimes we need the baby to sleep more than they want to, so we can have a break also, but some babys are not sleepers they just like to be awake during the day and as long as he enjoys it and you are not in the case that he actually wants to go to sleep and he cant, then you will be ok. I would not worry at all. When he gets older and more activity is posible ej. he starts walking and running, then you will probably see him sleep much more. Best regards and congratulations on your baby.

I agree with most of the advice I have read here: you are doing fine, listen to your baby, and try to go with the flow. I know it is hard, especially when books and other people tell you that your baby "should" be a certain way. I went through this with my first; she just didn't like to sleep during the day, and once I accepted that as part of her personality, things went much better. Having a baby that sleeps for large chunks during the day would be great, but luckily he sleeps good at night. He could sleep well during the day and bad at night! :)

You're actually dealing with something very common! My son at this age entered into the stage of teething and restlessness. It's okay to do whatever you need to, in order to comfort your little one. But, also at that age my son moved into two longs naps in the morning and afternoon. He was up at 6am and then asleep again by 9am, and then awake at around Noon and asleep again at around 2pm until just before 5pm.

It sounds like your little one is getting 'enough' sleep as far as the amount of time spent sleeping, but it also sounds like it might not be restful enough if he is getting fussy at 4pm. Try adopting a routine that suits your little one, and maybe talk to your son's Pediatrician about introducing a bit of cereal shortly...but, not full on meals. Also, there are tons of homeopathic teething remedies like tablets and drops that can be used to ease your boy's teething discomfort.

Don't worry, it gets better and you're doing the best you can! Good Luck.

I was lucky if my first born gave me a good 20 minute nap a day, and he wouldn't fall asleep at night until 11pm! The doctor told me that he just didn't need as much sleep as other babies. I would take him out in his stroller in the afternoon and then leave him in it when he would fall asleep. After a while it all works itself out. When my son turned two, he slept like a charm and never any problems. His brother, who was a great sleeper as an infant, became a nightmare when he turned two. As long as he is healthy, there is not much you can do. He will feed off your stress if you are too anxious. Good luck and quite beating yourself up over this. I'm sure you are a great mom!

There are few ways to approach your situation – discipline probably the most popular –discipline your baby – “cry it out ”approach, discipline yourself “teach yourself to accept you baby” – attachment parenting etc. approach. Ask medical professional if what is going on can be “diagnosed” or if they have something to “prescribe”), chances are, if there is no diagnosis or prescription, you’ll get advise along the above lines - depending on personal choice of medical professional it will boil down to the discipline choices (discipline yourself or discipline your baby).The other professional you can turn to is CCH homeopath. They do not resort to life-style/discipline advice since they actually have effective ways to treat your concerns. Especially good if your baby is teething and OTC tablets are not helping much – they are not individually selected for your baby needs. A full case history (taken during appointment) is needed for the homeopath to select an individual treatment for your child. Remember to use classical homeopath (use CCH homeopathic directory), not somebody who does something else + homeopathy.

Hi there,

All the advice you got is great, so I will just add this: your baby is still young. The first few months are the hardest!!! (I am on my second baby, and it is still hard! But not as hard!) My first son was not the greatest or most consistent sleeper until he was five months old. At that point, he slept through the night for the first time (I mean really through the night -- 12 hours), and I never looked back. I did suscribe to the ideas of the baby whisperer, so i was working toward those goals outlined in a previous response, but nothing seems to work until one magical day that is all clicked.

I thrive on the predictability of my son's nap schedule, and I hope you get to that point with all the advice given to you already.

I just want to say hang in there and good luck!

If he is sleeping through the night he is getting enough sleep at night. Not sure why you think it is a problem to not sleep more than that. Sounds normal to me, at least it was with my dd. If he is teething try Hylands teething tablets, my dd loves them. Good luck and hope you feel better. Being a new mom is hard and overwhelming. Just try to enjoy him and not worry about other peoples babies as long as he is healthy.

YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM. Let me say that again - you are not a bad mom. Don't panic, and don't make yourself crazy trying to fix every little thing. People are who they are, even tiny babies, and you just have to work with their personalities.

I have 4 kids (ages 22 to 10) and they all needed different amounts of sleep. If he's getting most of his sleep in one big chunk, well, that works for him (and it's a more "grown up" type of sleep pattern.) Let him "tell" you what he needs. It sounds like he'll never be a big napper.

My oldest needed very little sleep. My second needed a great deal. They're still like that as adults. The other two have their own patterns as well. As a baby my son (baby #3) wanted to nap almost immediately after breakfast, which was hard for me because I like to nap after lunch. But, we did it his way. He also had what we took to calling "Alex's fussy time" at about 5 p.m. every day. He didn't want fed, or sleep, he just wanted held. That was a pain for me, because that's right when I'm starting to make dinner, but it was such a predictable need, like clockwork. So, one parent held him and the other cooked and everyone was happy. My youngest has always been an up-at-dawn person, but then she takes FOREVER to get dressed. It's just how they are.

I remember finding it odd that my kindergarten had mandated naps. I hadn't napped since I was a baby.

Relex! You're doing fine. :)

Sounds like the same problem I have; word for word. One thing that has worked for me is sleeping her on her tummy. I know you are not supposed to, it's dangerous, sids, etc. but she'll sleep for two to three hours this way where as on her back she'll only sleep for 30 -45 minutes. When I first tried this I slept her on my chest and I dozed off with her, that way we both got some sleep.

You are not a bad mom, motherhood is very difficult. Hang in there!

Every baby is different, not to mention that every baby & mommy combination are different, but I can share things that I found helpful with mine. But first I want to say that I am sure you are NOT a bad mom. I know the feelings of frustration and helplessneess. I felt that too, especially with my first baby, and sometimes even now with my toddlers. When I had my first baby, I heard "follow your instincts" so much and it made me feel more and more like a failure because I didn't have any instincts! I had no clue what to do and my "gut" wasn't telling me anything except that I was overwhelmed. This whole adventure of parenthood started a little over 3-1/2 years ago for me, and I can say now that experience has taught me a few "instincts," but I think it is really just the product of learning my new role in life and is not instinctual at all. I found some sources of parenting advice that I felt I could trust, and I followed the advice and am learning how to be a parent along the way.

As for things that worked with my babies, they could never stay awake (happily) for more than 2 - 2-1/2 hours at a time at this age, sometimes even less. Both of my babies usually needed their first nap only 1-1/2 hours after waking up in the morning. I never could understand how they could be tired so quickly after sleeping the whole night, but that is how it was. Both of my babies really enjoyed being swaddled (very tightly) even at this age. If you don't already do that, it is worth a try, and if at first it does not seem to help, give it a few tries to be sure. My first baby liked the pacifier and he would go to sleep in his crib with the pacifier with no problem. My second baby didn't really care for the pacifier, but he eventually found his swaddling blanket to be really tasty (he is 2-1/2 now and still sucks on it when he goes to sleep). There was some crying involved for both of my babies, but if you are going to do that, you need to have a "plan" with how long you will let them cry and how you will respond, otherwise it is fruitless frustration and anxiety for both of you.

A bedtime/naptime routine is very helpful to let the baby know that bedtime is coming. Both of my babies have really thrived on routines, they like the predictability. You can choose some "calming" things that you both enjoy to include in your routine, such as a book, singing, snuggling, bathing, etc. for the bedtime routine, and make the naptime routine a shortened version of the same thing.

The late afternoon/early evening was always a fussy time for both of my babies. With my first baby, we would always go for a family walk in the neighborhood during that time. He liked looking around and it kept him calm. It also helped us get through that "fussy time" until bedtime.

If you would like an extra resource of information, I have a book from an infant sleep expert that gives some helpful guidelines and ideas for helping babies to get on a good sleeping schedule and get the rest that they need. I found it pretty helpful. I have it as an electronic document so I could attach it to an email and send it to you, if you like, just reply with your email address if you are interested.

I hope this is at least somewhat helpful and encouraging. I'm sure you will get some good advice from the other moms here, too.

Some babies just don't need much sleep. I think it is wonderful that he sleeps well at night (count your blessings there!!) so maybe he is naturally just not a good napper. But it seems like sleeping for 4 hours during the day is a lot of sleep! Don't work too hard to get him to go to sleep - you don't want to get him dependent on you rocking him to sleep or some other behavior that will be really inconvenient for you for the next four years.

If you think he is teething, try the hyland teething tablets. They dissolve as soon as they hit spit, so he won't choke on them. Both of my kids LOVED those things and they really put them in a better mood.

As far as not knowing your own baby, the first year, it is literally a new baby every month! They are growing so fast and learning so much that his sleep, feeding needs, mood and motivations will change with each new milestone.

You are not a bad mom! Every child is different. Four hours during the day isn't bad. One thing that I avoided from the very beginning (I have two children ages 4 and 2) was rocking them to sleep. I feel very strongly about allowing babies to self-soothe. Otherwise, babies have trouble getting themselves to sleep without help. They need to be able to comfort themselves.

I have a friend who rocked her son to sleep from day 1 and he is 2.5 years old and WILL NOT go to sleep without being rocked. Then when she tried to put him down without rocking him, he would scream for hours and refused to go to sleep. She didn't mind rocking when it was just him, but now she has a 5 month old that she feels she needs to rock to sleep as well. Her 2.5 year old doesn't get to bed until after 11pm because by the time she feeds, bathes, and rocks them both to sleep, it is extremely late. I feel bad for her, but it's not my schedule, it's hers that is affected. I just keep my mouth shut! :)

Anyway, once they get in the habit of rocking, it is hard to change back, but it can be done. Did your son sleep fine during the day before or is this something that has been ongoing?

I will say that as long as he is sleeping through the night (which my friend's 2.5 year old was still waking up at least once a night to breast feed at the age of 18 months when he should have been sleeping through the night long before!) then you are in good shape. It sounds like your son could just be uncomfortable because of teething etc and isn't sleeping as long as he used to. Maybe try giving him some Tylenol before naps and see if that helps. Also, try talking to your pediatrician if you still have questions. Many times, they can pin point the problem or ease your mind that there is nothing to worry about!

Best wishes to you!
S.

You sound like

HI A.! Your message sounds like mine that I posted a couple of weeks ago! I have a 4 month old daughter born in July. She has NEVER napped during the day and also sleeps mostly through the night.
About 3 weeks ago she started waking up after 5 hours, then I really became concerned.
I spoke to my pediatrician about my daughter and she said my daughter should be at least taking 2 1-2hr naps a day. I told her I was using the method from babywise, well that sure didn't work for me. What she told me to do, is lay her down about 3-4 hours after she wakes up in the morning. This will give her a chance to get tired. She said when I lay her down, basically just let her cry it out and don't go down there to tell her it's okay. (i have a video monitor so i'm able to watch her) I had mixed feelings about doing this because I knew she would cry alot. The doctor warned me that she would cry for at least an hour. The first time I did this she cried for 1 1/2 hours, I wanted to cry. I gave up after the 1 1/2 hours, took her to my room and breastfed her at the side laying position and she was out. She slept for 3 hours. Now this is not a good habit either. I really want her to go to sleep without the breast. It seems like most of the time she cries for about 30min then falls asleep. Yesterday she cried for 10min then fell asleep for only 35min. Today, I did the same thing,she cried for 30 min, I took her to my room breastfed her asleep and she's sleeping. I'm trying to do my naps around noon and 4. The doctor told me to do the same time everyday. My daughter wakes up around 9am. At least she's finally sleeping, now I have to do it without the breast! Good luck to you. Its very difficult!
oh, and I'm strictly breastfeeding until she is 6 months.

Have you tried getting him on a daily routine? We followed "The Contented Baby" routine by Gina Ford (you can get her book quite cheaply on Half.com) and our little guy THRIVED on it. This helped us a lot when it came to naps. And you're right; your guy might be teething already; talk to your ped. about Anbesol for his gums or a dose of Motrin for the pain. When my little guy was fussy in the late afternoon/evenings, it was usually becasue of gas, and "bicycling" his legs helped a lot.

One other book that was a lifesaver for us was "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" by Tracy Hogg. She tells you the signs to watch for when your baby is starting to get tired so that you can then take him somewhere quiet and dark to wind down for his nap. Her book was brillant and you can find it on Half.com too.

DON'T put cereal in his bottle - when its time for him to go on solids, its better for him to eat them from a spoon and not get confused that he can "drink" his solid food.

You're NOT a bad mom!! I totally understand the frustration and helplessness but you're here, asking for help - that's what a good mom does! Hang in there, 15lbs at 4 months; you're definitely doing something right :)

Happy Thanksgiving!
M.

You'll soon realize that there are two types of Mom... the ones blessed with a naturally easy sleeper, and the rest of us who end up a tad obsessed about sleep issues. You're in the large majority feeling a bit lost about this one!

I highly recommend Mark Weissbluth's 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child' - I got obsessed enough to read Sears and Ferber and about three other sleep books as well, and Weissbluth's is the one that really helped me.

One point he makes, based on very solid evidence, is that it is a complete myth that hunger is affecting his sleep. Everyone who offers you formula- or cereal-based solutions is well meaning, but wrong.

My baby is also 4.5 months and 15 lbs 10 ozs, and has a pretty similar sleep schedule. She is breastfed, sleeps about 11 hours at night, and maybe gets about 2 hrs in naps throughout the day. I asked my doctor and she said it's fine because she continues to grow and is in good spirits. From about 6-7pm, she gets fussy right before going to sleep, but that's about it. It sounds like your baby is fine, though you could trying starting bed time a little earlier, if you're concerned he's not getting enough total hours. Best of luck and try not to get too worried!

There is no problem with your son!!! He is absolutely fine. You are extremely lucky that he is a good sleeper at night, but you seem to be minimizing that and focusing on an imaginary problem with him. The problem really is that you are not accepting him for who he is. An individual. Every person on the face of the earth is an individual, your son included. Not every newborn sleeps a lot. Not every baby starts teething at a certain age. Not every baby follows the manual. Stop listening to other people. If your son had liked formula, you would have stopped breastfeeding by now just because of an imagined problem, and the bad advice you have received. Nothing is better for your son, physically and emotionally, than breastfeeding, but you would have thrown it all away in a misguided attempt to.... what? Get him to sleep longer? That is kind of scary. The problem lies with you. Stop resisting. Your son is who he is. Not every baby sleeps a lot. I have four, and my second child just never needed as much sleep as "average" babies. I would have been thrilled if he had ever napped for 3 hours a day. He never did, not even as a newborn. That is just him. He is now 23 years old and he still needs less sleep than other people. He was also an early teether. My fourth was fussy from about 4 pm until 8 pm every day of his life until he turned about 5 months old. Not all that unusual. I think what you are suffering from is "new mom shock". You had an idealized expectation of what motherhood would be like, but now reality is here and it is smacking you in the face. Acceptance is the key. Once you accept your son for who he is and stop trying to change him; once you relax and start to enjoy your son for who he is; once you realize that your job is to be there for him, even if he is not the "average" baby out of the books, your life will be much, much easier. Hurry up, though! Your time at home is almost over, and you have not been enjoying it as you should.

Good morning A., First of all you are not a bad mom, I have a 5 month old in my daycare who doesn't sleep much during the day, very healthy, happy baby, I get her to sleep in the after noon sometimes for a couple hours on a good day like you said. She has been eating cereal in her formula bottle since she was 6 weeks old, and has been sleeping through the night as well, she gets to my house about 5:30 in the morning, I give her her bottle, she holds it herself and then drifts off to sleep for about 45 minutes, and then she is up the rest of the day until the afternoon time. I know when i was rasing my babies/kids we were sleeping them on their tummys and they slept most of the day as babies, I have been doing daycare for 11 years with babies sleeping on their backs and they slep a lot less than babies in the day who slept on their tummys. In my opinion as a mom for 25 years. I would off set the breast with a bottle, you can put rice cereal in a bottle with breast milk just as easy as formula. I do believe formula is more filling, breast milk is a lot of water, I think thats why in my day breast feed babies were feed every 2 hours and the formula fed babies were fed every 3 hours. Just going into 4 months not sure he would be teething, but he could be. Don't ever think you are a babd mom cause your baby doesn't sleep much during the day. Having someone tell you maybe your baby isn't getting enough to eat can make you feel like a bad mom. 15 pounds at 3 1/2 months does not sound like an under fed baby to me. From what you have told me I think you are doing a great job, and if you ever need advice, or you start to feel like a bad mom, send me a message, I'm always out here. J. L.