My 3 1/2 year old son will not stay in his bed at night! He sleeps awful. The night if full of fists to the face and kicks to the shins. He will fall asleep anywhere and when I put him in his bed at night, he comes to my bed in the early morning hours. He will fall asleep anywhere, even in his own bed but ALWAYS ends up in my bed in the morning. I need to get him to sleep in his own bed! Someone please help me!!!
V... this is an age old problem. If you are not sleeping well then you must gently take him BACK to his bed. This requires perservance and patience but if you do this each and every time he will get the idea that he must sleep in his bed. A very low wattage night light could also work.
good luck and enjoy .. they grow up fast
It sounds like your 3 year old needs more time with you...maybe at night is the only time he can get it.
There really is no "quality time" with kids, only time, and it goes fast. Most kids with healthy emotional attachment want to be with their parents.
Yeah, I am an attachment parenting type that thinks that kids should sleep with their mommies.
Could you put his bed next to yours or in the same room...a compromise of sorts?
I had the same issue with my son at that age and I a single mom working full time too. What I ended up doing was I bought him a big boy bed (twin) and took him out of the toddler bed. I then played up the bed as a really great thing. He was so excited about it and becoming a big boy that he after his good night back rub he began sleeping in his bed all night. It took about a week to get through the night but it finally happened for him to sleep in his own bed through the night. Good Luck!
Hi V.
What works great for us in put an alarm clock in his room and teach him the number seven and tell him when the clock says 7:00 he can get out of his bed but not before or he has to play quietly in his bed :)
HTH
M.
My daughter just turned 4 and often comes in the middle of the night to my room. My hubby and I have decided from day 1 that our children are not allowed to sleep in our beds (cuddling after about 6am is ok with us because our kids don't really let us sleep after that anyway) When she comes in I just tell her that she can go sleep on the couch. Sometimes I have to help her find a blanket, but for the most part she just goes on into the living room and sleeps on the couch for the rest of the night. I don't know if this is an acceptable solution for you, but it works for us. Good luck.
Hi V.,
My son did that around that age, and we like some of the other respondants agreed that he would NOT sleep in our bed. When he'd come in the room, we'd quietly get up, and not saying anything, take him back to his room. It didn't take him long to figure out that if he DIDN'T wake us up, he'd be able to stay in our room and started camping out on the floor on my husband's side of the bed on one of the pillows hubby throws there in his sleep (which has resulted in the child being stepped on and more than one parent illiciting a startled scream at one point or another). What finally stopped it for the most part was us first threatening to lock our bedroom door and telling him he could sleep in the hall if he had to, but wasn't coming in anymore, and second, we suggested leaving his bed side lamp on all night. The light seemed to be the key for the most part although now...he refuses to turn it off and it's been more than a year...
Has anything changed with him that would start the behavior? Ours started with the change from toddler bed to big boy bed. I think it was the total freedom there that he'd get up and come down.
I hope somebody's suggestion helps as every kid is different for sure. Good luck!
Maybe, since you don't get to spend too much time with him, he is trying to get more cuddling from you. If, when he comes to your bed, you take him to his room and cuddle him there (so that he experiences the cuddling in his room, not yours) then put him back in his bed, he will be okay.
Is there a reason that he can't sleep in your bed in the morning? Is it disrupting you? If so, change it, but if not, I wouldn't stress about it. I would highly recommend reading this book:
http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Toddlers-Pres...
Hi V.,
I have a 3 year old son and I work full time too. I don't get to spend much time with him, but at night or early in the morning, he just wants to snuggle with me. Sometimes its a struggle for me to get him to bed at night and then when he snuggles with me it works. So, try a little snuggle time with your son and maybe put a night lite in his room. That might help both of you out because before to long, he won't want to snuggle that much with you anymore. There are times that I don't feel up to snuggling, but then I stop and think that this is something that I can look back on and cherish the special quiet time that I had with my son.
I hope that this helps!
I.
P.S. My son also sleeps with Elmo and a few other toys as well so that if he wakes up in the morning he can play with them without having to wake me or my husband up.
i had the same problem with my third child. i was so tired by then and that i quit. i refused to let him in my bed. he turned to his sister (tomboy too). He ended up getting in her bed in early morning hours instead! she didn't like it. they are old now (she 13 1/2 and he 12) and are very close. she takes care of him (as she does her older brother (he is 15 1/2)).The younger two love being together and with each others friends. Kids just wear you out and if they can help each other out, they will learn together and will remember what they learn.
ask her daughter if you can please set up an extra bed in her room for a little while and try it.
I has the same problem with my now 5 1/2 year old and then my now 3 year old. I talked to there doctor and he recommended Melatonin. It works and it is a suppliment for the bodies natural production of it like other vitamins. It is inexpensive and can be bought where most vitamins are sold. Give 1/2 pill to start and go up to 2 pills if needed. You may want to run that by your own doctor also!
I do not believe in drugging a child and getting them to take pills was not easy but if we need them, it sure helps. We finally sleep. Adults can take them too.
I personally would not ask one child to take care of another. It's not there job but if they are willing I guess it;s okay. My boys would never sleep if they shared a room much less a bed.
Here is to a better nights sleep.
Nik
I LOVE what another mother said about setting up a "safety zone" in the parents room, an area on the floor that's got blankets and pillows that isn't right by the bed(so no stepping on them, not good for either of you on those trips to the bathroom in the dark)
The kids feel safe n secure going to sleep near parents, but parents are able to remain asleep and maintain their own space in their own bed.
I've done something like that with my son a few times (because I want to sleep in MY bed, not his and I CANNOT sleep with him in my bed - he moves way tooo much even as an infant) so for those nightmareish nights, a blanket is pulled in and set on the floor by my side of the bed.
Oh yeah, and my son sleeps with his room light on all night (well, we turn it off when we got to bed but occasionally we'll find it on in the morning) I dont know when he'll out grow that. He's almost 6 and going into 1st grade this "fall"
Your toddler is doing very well in being able to fall asleep anywhere. Honor that. Take a few moments to really rejoice in that. Many toddlers/babies need to be by mom when they are falling asleep.
When he comes into your bed in the early morning hours, he is truly in need of your presence. Is it possible that you could honor that? Since he is truly in need of that, is it possible you could dig down deep inside you to find that you can, afterall, meet this need of his? Usually, we panic, worrying that our child is maladjusted or will be doing this forever. Let me assure, you, it won't last forever! When he feels secure enough (and this is something inside him), and that might be months or a few years, he will no longer come to your bed. It will probably be a gradual process until one day, you realize that he hasn't come to your bed in weeks. Even then, for some reason when he needs it, he might revert to it again, but eventually, he will stop. One day you will remember those times and wish you could have it again!
When you are in the midst of it, it feels like you just can't get your own space. Whenever I felt that, I would pretend I was still pregnant. I had no choice then, and now, in this moment, pretend the same. For even though he is no longer sharing your physical body, he is still sharing your energetic body and needs to be near you every so often to re-energize. Since you don't get to spend too much time with him, isn't this an easy way to give him some of that time that you don't have otherwise to give? Sometimes, just looking at it from another perspective can help. Blessings to you.
Turn the lock on his bedroom door around....works like a charm!
