My Son Is Imitating His Friend

Think of this as practice for the rest of his life. As parents we really want it to be someone elses fault when our child misbehaves, but the reality is, it's our child who is choosing to do so and that is how you have to deal with it. I know most children go through phases of imitating friends bad behaviors, all of mine have. You have to teach your son what is acceptable and what is not, and how to make good choices vs poor choices for himself. You are not alone in this, my daughter is four and going through it right now. Hang in there, teach him to be responsible for his behavior no matter what his friends are doing, and you will be fine (not to mention you will save major grief in the teen years if he understands these lessons at a young age).

Daycare brings out the worst in your kid. I did in mine, but you can control things at home. Think of the things he likes (a TV program, various toys, stickers, etc.) and there use them as rewards for good behavior. He needs this kind of recognition, not to be confused with bribes, of course! Kids like charts that show their progress, even 3 year olds. At the end of the line, he gets a new toy or special alone time with mom or dad or whatever you think will motivate him. Especially note when he's nice to baby sister. (I have four children, and the youngest went through most of those bad behaviors when he started pre-school. None of the others did this!)

Good luck and be strong!

Having experienced this within my own family.....the best advice is really no advice at all- do not fall into the parent trap. You have a major issue here- pull your child out of that child's existance while you still have control. You are not responsible for the social connections for children with behavioral problems. It is not worth the torment this has already caused you. It appears that physical damage is feared here. You are the parent!!!!!Remember by laying down with dogs - you will get up with fleas.

This seems to be a way of getting attention; and that is what your little boys' very good example is to follow. NOT!
Have you spoken with his parents? You may find them to be so stressed that they give in to their son and allow for this bad behavior.
I cannot believe the teacher made that comment - that your little boy befriended someone so unapproachable...is she a jerk? Go talk with the principal. Have him or the other boy transferred to another room.
I also found that when my kids hung out with misbehaved "friends" that their parents were pretty messed up!

Your son is going to come in contact with "bad influences" throughout his life. No time like the present to start teaching him how to deal with it. Let him know what YOUR expectations are and that just because another boy does it does not mean it's okay (remember the "jump off a cliff" example all our parents used?). Let him know it is up to him to make good choices. Also, make sure enforce the consequences at home for his behavior in school, as well as his behavior at home. IMO, removing him from the situation is no the best solution. What do you do if it happens in third grade? Would you switch schools?

My son is also three, and we had a similar experience recently at day care. We had some long heart-to-hearts with him about his behavior, and a lot of consequences. He caught on pretty quick that his behavior was his choice and under his control, and started deciding for himself how to behave, rather than following every move in the other boy's footsteps.

A very important thing to remember is that your son has qualities that this other child finds desirable. Try to look it from the point that your child is teaching good behaviors, rather than he is learning bad ones. Talk to him about how he can teach little Johnny to behave apppropriately. Perhaps the child does not come from a home where manners are instilled in the children. Use this as an opportunity for Jacob to teach him manners. I do realize he is only 3, but by using simple language, perhaps it can be accomplished. I would discourage asking him to defriend the kid, as then he will feel as if you have taken something away from him and he will become more defiant. If it were me, I would invite the child for a sleepover to show how manners are used in our home.

Hope this helps, and does not offend.

C.

Ask the teacher to pair your son with other children, not just this one boy. Tell her it is disrupting his behavior at home. Also hug your child and tell him you like best the boy who behaves good, the one he really is.

I'm not sure what to do about the imitating. My daughter does this sometimes too and I haven't figured it out, but there may be a combo of him eating foods at school that contain blue or red dyes or certain preservatives that cause kids to act aggressively. You may be dealing with a combo here. My friend's kid's preschool feeds them gummy worms as a snack, for instance.

I was in the same situation with my son...It wasn't at school but at a sports class and we were good friends with the parents of the other boy. My son is very level headed and very nice and considerate to others and is pretty much a good boy and friend. When we started hanging out with this family and their boy was very aggressive and very competitive. So he started kind of bullying my son a little. So after hanging out with them for a couple of months I started seeing it rub off on my son how he treated his other friends. He even punched one of his other friends when his other friend didn't give my son a toy he wanted. We started lessoning the time that they spent together and now we only see each other at the sports class twice a week.
My son is completely back to normal. So my advice is simply remove your son from that situation before this behavior sticks to him for good. Maybe there is another class or possibly even another school. I would take this seriously because this will haunt him throughout the rest of his school years...he will be labeled the bully, teachers won't like him...I've seen it with kids in my son's school. My son is in first grade now and this was going on at the end of his Pre-k Year and into Kindergarten.

HOpe this helped!