My Son Is Almost 4 and Won't Poop in the Potty. HELP!

My son was the same way, he did great with peeing, but would not poop, one night he had started to poop on the potty and freaked out, it took me 3 months to get him to sit back on the potty. He also would not stand to pee, that took over a year, not that that is a big deal, but anyway, I would ignore it for the most part, not make a big issue of it, don't let him see it bothers you, eventually he will decide to poop on the potty, give it time. Good luck!!!

Hey J.!

My daughter just turned 4 last month and had the same issue. She started peeing in the potty last year (right before her 3rd birthday) and has been a pro at it. However, she did not start pooping until this year (right before her 4th), so for an entire year we struggled with it. What seemed to work for me was to just let her have some peace! LOL Once I left her alone and did not push any of it on her (but gave her gentle reminders and left her in her underwear or bare butt), she did it all on her own and now she is a total pro!

Good luck!

Dear J.,
I just wanted to encourage you. This too will pass. I know that right now it is VERY frustrating. I was in the same place that you are now, one year ago. My son was nearly four and I thought he would NEVER be fully potty trained. PRAISE the LORD, right before he turned four things just seemed to click for him. Someone else said that you don't see older kids... At any rate, unless your child's doctor feels that there is a medical reason, TRY not to sweat it. Believe me, I know that's easier said than done, but it just frustrates both of you. Also, if his stools are hard, he may be having difficulty going, and may need apple juice or other natural softeners. I know that for my son, this was a big part of the problem. Once he didn't have so much trouble going, getting him to go on the potty became MUCH easier. God Bless!

I am having the same problem with my son. He has been peeing in the potty for almost a year now. He's pooped in the potty just a handful of times. He runs into the other room and tries to hold it in. He's back in pull-ups now because I could not take running him to the potty, cleaning him up, and putting new underwear on him 5 to 10 times a day. I agree with the other poster who said its a control issue. You just have to let it go and give him time. Since I put my son back in pull-ups he's been holding it in less. I think it was causing him a lot of stress. Hopefully he will be completely potty trained by the time he starts Kindergarten, that won't be for over a year. We tried everything - videos, books, stickers, toys, rewards (candy and matchbox cars), trips to Chuck E. Cheeses, making him clean himself up, singing, dancing, clapping, you name it... we have done it. Nothing we did made any difference. Its all up to him. Sorry, I guess this turned into a vent for me. Just wanted to let you know its a pretty common thing. Good Luck.

H.

Hi J.,

My son was the same way. I got a e-book that said that the majority of people poop around the same time everyday. So, it said to watch for the signs that he is ready to poop. Mine usually got really quiet, left the room that we were in, had a red face, etc. when i saw these signs, I would take him to the potty and make him sit there till he was done. Sometimes it was a long time, but after about a week or 2 of doing that, he was fine with going in the potty.
Another thing we did was get a special toy that he only got to play with after he pooped in the potty. He never had a remote control toy, so we took him to the store and he got to pick out his own "potty toy". The RC truck sat on the back of the toilet and when he pooped in the potty he got to play with it for 15 minutes. If he asked to play with it before he pooped, i would remind him he had to poop in the potty first. then he was more excited about it.
good luck

I am going through the same thing with twin boys right now. They will be four in three weeks and refuse to sit on the potty to poop. they will only go in diapers. we have tried a lot of different tactics to no avail and are currently just trying to wait it out without making much of a fuss. Its definitely a control issue in our house as well as a "twin thing" in some ways. kinda like monkey see, monkey do. I wish I had advice for you but at least I can say that your not alone!

My son did great when it came to peeing in the potty. The first time he pooped in the potty he had a meltdown, jumped off the potty into my arms with his pants still down. After I calmed him down we talked about it but it took 5 or 6 months before he would sit on the potty again. Now he does great with it but we are having issues with him wiping his bottom.

Hi J.! I am going through the EXACT same thing with my daughter (she'll be 4 in August). I hope we can get some helpful tips on this subject! Good luck!

My daughter was afraid to let is out on the potty. She wouldn't go in her underwear though, she would want a pull up. What finally got her over her fear was letting her sit on the potty while playing her playstation. When she said her belly hurt her I said let's sit on the potty and play qbert and her mind was occupied and she just did it. After the first time she still wouldn't do it easily. I had to encourage her and let her do it that way for awhile but when she did go then I made a big deal about what a big girl she was and and after a few weeks we were able to transition over to the toilet. Hope this is helpful.

Hey J., I know we have talked before at F.W.H., but I want to tell you that it will happen; only when he is ready. Good luck and don't get discouraged. My advice is if he complains about a belly ache, take him to the potty and let him know that his body is trying to tell him its time to go potty. Another idea is if you see him going to hide or do whatever he does, take him to the potty and let him sit. Ask him if he would like it if you stepped out of the bathroom while he went. He may be embarrassed or afraid. Let him know that everybody does it, name some of his friends or someone he may look up to. And last if he won't poop in the potty after that, let him poop in his unders or whatever and put it in the potty and flush it. Let him flush. You can always show him Elmo's potty time and there is a sound book at walmart about going potty and it has a button for him to push that makes flushing sounds. Good Luck, I hope my advice helps you.

Well, i have some similiar advice for you. I was once told by a doctor when my first was potty training that when it comes to pooping on the potty its hard in some way for all kids. I think boys are more apprehensive than girls, I'm in a similar situation with my 2 1/2 yr old. He pees in the potty but will always "forget" to go to the potty for poop. anyway, its weird but try to look at it this way from your son'd point of view. The doctor had explained it like this, kids look at poop as a part of them and so its hard to let go in the potty. Maybe because pee isn't quite formed so its easier. Not sure, but if you haven't done this, definitely start with putting the poop from his underwear and put it in the toilet. Let him watch or help so that he sees its not such a big deal. This is often the step in between where they get used to seeing the poop go down the toilet. Once its easy to part with that way then you try the next step getting him to sit and go. And remember this could be more a stressful situation for him than you realize so don't punish him for going in his underwear, just huge praise and big deal for going in the potty. Oh and whateveryou do don't go back to diapers/pullups! I know some people that did that b/c the pooping in underwear was getting so messy, but it only made them regress the peeing too! Just keep the same routine you have now, so nothing else changes expect the poop routine! Good luck! Jennifer

Hi J.,

If you go to Amazon.com there are a variety of books for kids that deal with this issue. Here is the short list:

Everyone Poops, by Tara Gomi
Where's the Poop, by Juli Markes
It Hurts When I Poop, by Howard J. Bennett, MD
Too Big for Diapers, by Random House
Potty Power-For Boys and Girls
Once Upon a Potty, by Alona Frankel
The Potty Book-For Boys, by Alyssa Satin

Try to make this a fun, if not funny experience for your son. It sounds like he is a little tense about this situation. (This is where the term "anal retentive" comes from) So, keep it light, read lots of books about it (every day), and make "poop" part of your daily dialoge. Once he learns pooping isnt taboo, he can relax and go!

Good Luck and happy pooping!

D.

J.,
OK. Desperate times call for desperate measures! It's time to learn the Super Duper Pooper Song. Sing to the tune of Glory Glory Hallelujah: "He's a super Duper Pooper! He's a Super Duper Pooper! etc, etc. OK now that you know the song, how to get it into action with an actual "poop in the potty incident"? Catch him when he just goes--rush him onto the potty seat or toilet and kind of...um..."knock" the poop off of his bum and into the potty. Make a BIG fuss like he did it himself and launch into the song. All those present will march around, sing and cheer wildly! It might just work. It did for me. Boy, did I feel stupid! Not to mention my ex-marine husband! Hang in there. He'll get it. Oh--did you read him Once Upon A Potty (for boys). That might help too! Good luck to you (all!).

I don't have any tricks for you other than continuous encouragement, but something a friend once told me when my boys were potty training is this: "He will get it. You don't see 5, 6, and 7 year olds running around pooping in their underwear, do you?"

And she was right! I was patient and kept encouraging him with positive reinforcement (give him NO attention for pooping in his pants, but go BIG with the praise if he does it in the potty!)

Be patient....it will happen.

HI J.!
I had the same problem with my son. I tried bribes,the works. I finally read on pampers.com to make it a game. I told him that we had to "flush the terd home to his family." He really enjoyed sending them home to his "mom." It sounds nuts, but it worked! He even would wave goodbye while flushing them. Good luck! Your son will get it eventually.