My Child Will Not Stay in Her Bed at Night Anymore

My 7 year old son had his tonsils and adnoids removed last year.He now sleeps better then he ever did before having them removed.It may just be your daughter's age.Lots of kids go through this phase.You and your husband just need to be consistant with putting her back in her own bed every night,but don't talk to her when putting back in her bed.At bed time explain to her that she's a big girl and big girls sleep in their own beds.I hope everything works out for you.

Hi L.,
Few of my friends children have had the same operation and have had great success with it with regards to better sleeping habits. When my kids were 2 & 3 years old I would allow them to come in bed with me. I then realized that at 5 & 6 they were to old for this. You need to be very constant with your daughter. When she comes in your bed, you or your husband need to get up immediately and put her back in her own bed. Try not to have any conversation while doing this as not to awaken her more. It took my kids about 1 month of this before they broke the habit. Good Luck :)

My neice does the same thing starting around 3. I do not think this has anything to do with the surgery. It's the age. Anyway, they put up a baby gate and made a strict rule: If the gate is up, DO NOT COME IN. She will come in if the gate isn't up, and giggles because they forgot. But she obeys if the gate is up. (She has to, unlike just opening a door.) Might want to try that.

My son went through a similar sleeping problem right before he began PreK this year (right before he turned 4 as well). He would have a difficult time getting to sleep, needing me there until he was asleep, and then waking up many times crying for me. I couldn't figure out what was scaring him so much, but later realized it was his anxiety over starting PreK.
I tried reassuring him and soothing him at first, then (when sleep deprivation kicked in) being tough, using charts and rewards, making sleep "rules", anything I could think of. We even tried the "sleep fairy", who would leave a little treat in his room if he slept through the night. None of it worked for us.
I read a couple of books about the subject: Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Ferber and the No-Cry Sleep Solution by ?. Both had good ideas. In the Ferber book I realized that my son's behavior matched that of a child who was really scared and anxious, not just going through a stage. I actually (don't laugh) did as the Ferber book suggested and made up a bed for myself on the floor of his room and slept there for about a week until he calmed down and we were both able to get caught up on sleep (I'd leave once he was asleep and come back at my bedtime). Then, I moved my "bed" outside of his room and did the same thing until he was used to it (a couple days). Then I started sleeping in my bed unless he woke up afraid; I would stay on the "bed" until he fell asleep. Once he got used to that, I packed up the "bed" and would comfort him if he was afraid. We also made an agreement that he could sleep with us if there was a storm, but otherwise his job was to sleep in his own bed.
I know it sounds a little crazy, but it worked for a child who was really terrified at the time. Once he started PreK and got used to it, all the sleep problems stopped and everything went back to normal.

Hi L.,

When the child gets up at night and wakes your husband up, he needs to take the child back to her bed and tuck her in.

This will have to continue until the habit of her staying in her bed is understood. Good luck. D.

Dear L.,
From my experience you and your husband have been luckier than most, to have the years of privacy you have had. My perspective is very different, I am a homeschooling mom who used to have a very demanding career out side the home, before kids. Your daughter is 3. She is still a toddler and very very young, also the youngest. The surgery may be a part of this, but I think there is another part you should consider. She is reaching out to both of you at a time- that in her mind, may be all her own. You may not like my suggestion, we went through a similar situation. Our Mater is on the main floor, so my daughter(the youngest) would climb down the stairs at night and sleep at the foot. Mind you, we are homeschoolers. We decided to put a small toddler sized bed in the corner of our room. At night we tucked her in and closed the light. We would come to bed much later. She was not allowed to bring toys, to get dressed in our room or do the things she would normally do in her own room. After a few weeks we decided to it was time to spruce her room up a bit, so we,with let her guidence,allow us to move furniture and an we purchase one item, an inexpensive deco pillow. For a few nights she wanted to sleep in her new room, then she came back to ours- her little bed was waiting. Eventually, after a few months she settled back in her room. She is nine years old now, I asked her why she needed to be with us. Her answer was simple, I just wanted to be a baby again, and be close to you and daddy. I asked her did it help. She said it did, but sometimes she feels like she wants to do that, but she gets sleepy and forgets to come down the stairs. I told her anytime she needs to be close to us, just let us know! D.

LOL we have this problem too. Our dd comes into our room in the middle of the night. So we get our alone time out of the way before she comes in. We have put a gate up: she climbs over it. We close our door: she opens it. We bribe, threaten, and demand that she stay in her bed. Yes we could lock our door, but she would either knock til we open or sleep on the floor in the hallway and its cold there.
So you can try a gate or a locked door: hers or yours. I suppose if I really wanted her out..which I do, I would Double gate so she cant climb over and I would Lock my door. What prevents me from doing either is I envision her knocking the gates over and me being woken by a loud crash. Or her standing at our door knocking until we open. I like my sleep way too much which is why I have just let her sleep in our room. AT least she sleeps on the floor and not in our bed: I draw the line there.

Hi L.,
I have a 3 year old daughter. She has always slept in her own room and bed so we are in a little different situation but when we moved her from a crib which she never attempted to get out of to a toddler bed I was terrifed that she would come out of her room at night and wander around the house or get into something to hurt her and I not wake up in time. I placed a child safety door knob on the inside of her door so she cannot get the door open. That way even if she gets out of bed I know she is safe in her room. I guess that wouldn't prevent any tantrum from not being able to get out of the room but maybe once your child figures out getting out of his own room is not an option he won't try anymore.

Good luck!