My 4 Yr Old Wakes up in the Middle of the Night...

Updated on March 22, 2007
H.B. asks from Spartanburg, SC
6 answers

every single night. My husband or I must get into bed with him, in order for him to sleep for the rest of the night. It drives us both crazy to be awaken just hours after we have gotten to sleep. I'm not sure if I should try to break him of this behavior or continue the routine.

As a child I did the excate same thing until I was 7 or 8 years old. My father ALWAYS slept with me for the remainder of the night. It is now something I pride myself in... to have a father that loved me enough to always make me feel secure.

Should I suck it up & jump up at night when my child calls... Or should I try another method???

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K.H.

answers from Spartanburg on

Girl, I know exactly what you are going through. My daughter did that too. And I got up and slept with her until the morning many, many nights. Unfortunately this was taking a toll on my marriage. There's nothing like waking up in the morning to see your sweetie cuddled beside you. So I stopped getting up and lying with her. When she would call, I went into her room, sang her a song, ran my fingers through her hair until she calmed down and closed her eyes, but wasn't quite completely asleep. I would tell her I love her, then I would whisper that I need to get back to bed with Daddy. I have spent all day with her, and I needed some Mommy/Daddy time. Sometimes she was okay with that, but other times, it was a struggle. I also struggled with a little guilt, because I thought she needed me, but I soon realized that she wanted me, and I liked to feel needed and wanted. I also realized that she needed a well-rested mommy for the day ahead and parents with a close loving relationship. It is hard to have that when you have a "sweet blessing" lying between you, or you are in separate beds. After about 3 or 4 consecutive nights, she stopped waking me up in the middle of the night.

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M.M.

answers from Norfolk on

My 2 year old can't sleep through the night without coming into my bed midway through to nurse and cuddle. I think it's just one of those things that comes along with parenting. I figure I can finally get a good night's sleep when he's off and married with his own kids. Then he'll appreciate what I did.

If you are tired of getting up and going to him, have him come to you. That's what I did.

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T.C.

answers from Spartanburg on

My son began to wake up when he was around that age. He was terrified to fall alseep again on his own. We began to sleep with him. He is now almost 6 years old and we are still sleeping with him. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I know that one day he will pull away from us and want to be in his room on his own. Until then, I am happy to hold his little hand as he falls asleep again. My Hubby and I are in full agreement with this, and that is just how we feel.
Your little one is going through some anxiety, which is normal. Just love him and be proud that he trusts and depends on you that much. He will always remember that you were there for him when he needed you to be. good luck and have a wonderful spring!!

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C.R.

answers from Charlotte on

H.,

My daughter did this and I struggled with solutions. I didn't want to lock her in her room - in case it was an emergency. What I ended up doing was to lock my bedroom door. The first mornings, I found her alsleep in front of my door with her blanket(and my heart broke). By the fourth or fifth night, she stayed in her bed all night. This was a permanent cure for her.

Good luck with everything.

C.

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S.

answers from Spartanburg on

H., what can I tell you? I am one of those mothers that love to cuddle with the kids!!! The feeling of joy that I have everytime my son stops crying because I am there for him is overwhelming. I just love to give him what he needs and if it's reassurance, well, it's ok. Your son is probably doing good at school because he feels safe at home, he knows no matter what he has a loving family behind. What could be more important??? Keep loving on him, ours is a life of worthwhile sacrifice. I am Catholic too and this message of love and sacrifice for others is what I really value out of our Religion. Love,Love,Love this what makes the world a better place...why shouldn't we begin to spread it in our families??

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E.A.

answers from Raleigh on

Your job is to teach your child independence and make them feel secure. Break the habit as soon as you can. It will take time and be hard, but well worth it. Try putting them back in bed, and telling them you will come back and check on them, and then following up on that. You may also want to consider calling Project Enlightenment, located in Raleigh, and asking their advice. The service is free, they have a call line, and are trained professionals to help with situations like this.

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