I am a stay at home to my 4 year old boy and my 1 year old daughter. My husband and I try to go on a date night once a week for a couple of hours. My 4 year old never had a problem staying with my parents or my husbands brothers family (which are our usual babysitters). One night, my 4 year old started to cry and say that he is going to miss us and he didnt want to stay and play. I didnt know what to do because he never acted this way and usually loves playing with his cousins....so we took him on our date (thinking maybe he was tired or "he wont do this again because he will see how boring mommy daddy dates are"). Ever since then, my son cannot be without me or daddy. Is this just a phase? Does seperation anxiety just come again at 4 years old? Im a little worried on how he will be when he starts preschool in August. We dont want to let him cry until he stops at a babysitter, I was just wondering if my 4 year old is the only one going thru this ;)
It is very normal. I have kiddos that have been in my care since 3 months old suddenly start having a problem at drop off, they calm down within a couple of minutes.
Leave Him!! He will get over it.
M
Yes, it's typical. It's a phase. It's no fun. But don't make it worse by taking him on every date. They get over it and they don't usually cry for a long time. It's best for the sitter or grandparent to distract them, do something special with them - "Let's play ______ and _____, and have a snack, and then it will be time for Mommy and Daddy to come home." They had a little song at my son's preschool - "My mommy comes back, my mommy comes back, she always comes back to get me. My mommy... (2 more times) She never would forget me." You can substitute "Daddy" or change the name in every other verse. Grandma can sing "Your mommy, your daddy."
Kids get afraid when they develop enough of a sense of the world to realize that things die, people have car crashes, etc. and they aren't old enough to dismiss the fear of monsters.
It will stop, but it will probably not stop in just one week or two!
Some kids have trouble with the transitions - going from the car into Grandma's house, Mom and Dad leaving, transitioning to the preschool classroom, etc. Preparation time helps, with the promise of what fun will happen now and what fun will happen when we pick you up.
Well it's not totally abnormal. My soon to be 5 y/o year old can have similar moods. Lately she's started asking if she can sleep with us because she misses me while she's all alone in her bed. I believe there is some truth to that, but I also believe it's her trying to manipulate the situation! So, to me, it seems like that is what is going on with you guys.
Your 4 y/o is old enough to know that he might miss you but you will eventually come back. He doesn't want you to go b/c he likes being the center of your universe. Totally normal....but I think you're going to just have to tell him, here's the deal. We're leaving you with Auntie and Uncle, we're going out, see you tomorrow. Love you, hug/kiss...out the door. Now, you should probably prep him before hand especially since he got to go with you last time. Tell him that morning or even the day before, hey tomorrow you're doing XYZ. I know that last time Dad and I took you with us but tonight that isn't happening, even if you cry.
I really doubt he'll cry that long after you leave. I'm sure he will become engaged in some activity and will forget about it soon after you're gone, especially if he normally loves playing with these people. Just warn the caretakers before hand and maybe even slip them some of his favorite snack so they can bribe him with it after you leave.
Totally normal. I still get separation anxiety when my husband goes to work.
It passes.
Aw pshaw, its a phase.
My son was JUST LIKE THAT.
And he is 5 now.
My son was like that from 3 years old.
He is not like that now.
Its a phase.
Don't worry.
They survive.
But it is good he can express his feelings. Boys need to express themselves to, like "girls."
But it is a harmless phase.
Separation Anxiety, occurs at ALL ages, and it is manifested differently PER age. It is not something that ONLY babies, have.
Totally normal. At about 4 kids learn that bad things can happen when they are away from you and you are away from them, and their imaginations are exploding in a whole new way, bringing on fears of monsters and shadows, and bad guys. Many kids go through this.
Reassure him with extra hugs and knowing that you'll be back. It is a phase and he'll be ok again. Here's a good article with some ideas of how to handle it :)
http://www.ivillage.com/separation-anxiety-15-ways-ease-y...
Yep, my 4 year old started doing this. In fact, everything was fine, and then, right after her 4th bday, hubby and i went away for our anniversary weekend. My daughter ran screaming and crying down the driveway: she didn't want me to go. She has never behaved this way before. She then behaved similarly when my mom would just babysit her for a few hours.
It's a normal phase every kid goes through at one time or another.
Most of the time they'll fuss for 10-15 after you leave then be fine.
Once the audience is gone the performance is over.
He'll cry at drop off to school for awhile and then play with his friends.
When you have to leave, hug/kiss him and leave quickly.
