My 3 Year Old Bolts Every Opportunity She Gets

Hi B.
I'm a preschool teacher and my biggest fear is having one of my 2 year olds take off on me when we're transitioning from one area to another. there is a CD I belive by a group called Greg & Steve with a song on it called Freeze. It's a fun song to dance to but it has different parts where They say Freeze. Well, I put on a goofy face and freeze in a wierd position and after a few times of dancing to it they join in doing it too (laughingly). I've told my parents about it and more than one has said that when they shout Freeze at their child they stop immediatly and pose. It is a very real safety issue and this works. I hope you can find it as it might be a few years old.

Has she been tested for Autism as well? Have you spoken to your child's pediatrician about this? How could she have gotten out that far? I would definitely buy some better locks for your doors, one that she cannot reach. My son does open the door and goes outside whenever I walk outside, but he NEVER "escapes" in the middle of the night or at all for that matter. Sounds like she needs to be occupied with things to do rather than the out doors. Do you have a back yard for her to play in? Take her to the park where she can run free and let all that pent-up energy out!

Out of curiousity, is your daughter in constant motion? Our daughter was an escape artist even when she was six. She also ran out into the street in front of cars. The problem was she was hyperactive. Her attention span was shorter than a two year old. She couldn't follow simple directioins because before you finished her mind was gone. Like wise she couldn't multitask, like paying attention to where she was playing, while she's playing. Her pediatrician put her on a low dose of Adderall. The difference is amazing. She's almost 8 now. And she hasn't ran out or slipped out the door in over a year.

Thankfully the problem I keep having is my daughter locking the deadbolt when I go outside for a minute. We have put these little doorknob guards on the doors we don't want her to go in or out of. They aren't difficult at all for an adult to use, but keep her from going outside on her own. The only other thing I can think of is maybe take a toy or something and put it in the street and show her what happens to it when it gets hit by a car. Sit down with her so you are eye to eye and explain that you don't want that to happen to her and that when she runs into the road like that, the cars can't see her. Explain that it would make mommy cry a lot if she were to get hurt like that.

I've found when I get down on my daughter's level and explain to her WHY I don't want her to do things (especially major things), she seems to get the point. Mine had started cornering our dog and "giving it love" in such a way that she had the dog cornered and scared out of it's mind. I spanked her and put her in her bed for about 10 minutes and then went in and sat down and explained why it wasn't nice to scare the doggie like that and how much trouble she would be in if she did that again. Since then, they both have seemed to get along much better.

I truly hope you are able to find something that works with your particular child. =)

You really need to take her to her doctor and if the doctor will not listen to you then you need to go to another doctor.
She needs help with this right away. Before she gets hurt.

From one mother to another.

B.,
The harness is a good idea until she learns the dangers of traffic. To teach her, explain to her what can happen if she runs into the street. Repeat it as often as possible. I've done that with my daughter since she was 2. When we are in the parking lot she has to hold my hand and she's not aloud to go near the road without an adult. I explain that cars and trucks cannot see her and she could get hit and get really hurt. Occasionally, she wants to walk across the parking lot alone but I insist she holds my hand and will grab hers or her arm is she's holding something.

To keep your daughter from opening doors, get the safety knobs. Plastic knob covers that go over your door knob. Adults can open the doors, kids can't. Target, Walmart and other stores sell them and they are cheap.

Good luck!
J.

I'm so sorry you are living my worst nightmare. I have a 3 1/2 year old and I fear for him too but we don't have the problem like you do. My suggestion would be to take away all her toys but 5 or 10 and tell her that every time she goes in the street, you are going to take away another toy. If she ends up with none, then start putting her in her room for time out (with 2 baby gates up - one for top, one for bottom). She'll learn after having nothing to do for a while. It may seem like more punishment for you, but every time she asks for a toy, ask her why you took her toys away. If she doesn't remember, tell her. If you are looking for more "creative" ways to discipline try reading "How to Make the Terrible Two's Terrific". I know it says its for two year olds, but some kids are just stuck in that stage for longer than others. It's not a long book and it's easy to read and pretty funny too. Best of luck to you!! Jen

Wow, that sounds serious! First, I would highly recommend child proofing all the doors........if you think that may be inconvenient for roommates, company, ect....well, you have to put your child first! Have you considered any education videos about Street safety for toddlers??

I have 3 year old triplets and I can relate..They do things that scare you..and still don't listen...I was a preschool teacher for 4 years...Unfortunately that really isn't geared for discipline..It's more about socialization,cooperation and being able to follow routines..While I don't feel it is a negative thing to put her in perhaps your expectations are a little high...I wish I could hand me 3 over and get them to be perfect..I can't even get them to clean up...time outs do nothing..but In my class every kid listened...I guess as a mother your child/children do thing to you that they would never try with someone else...It must be difficult your 6 year old probably takes up alot of your time...and now this...is she just seeking attention? Does she do these things when she has your attention..or just when you are not giving her 100% of your attention...my kids do terrible thing in seconds if I don't give them my undivided attention...and it sucks...I know I didn't help..but know you are not alone...good luck