My 26 Month Old Won't Stay in Her Room at Night!

We had the same problem so we started putting a baby gate up in the doorway. She prefers the door open anyway. She cried at first, but now she might play for a minute and then go right to sleep. She's finally sleeping through the night. I think now that the temptation is gone and she knows her crying will do her no good, she can finally sleep. Good luck

I can understand your frustration. I've been there many times. when you put her to bed, let her know that it is time for bed and that she needs to stay in bed. When she gets up, be consistent to put her right back to bed without saying anything to her. It may take a couple of days of consistency to see results but don't give up! Maybe you can spend extra time with her before bed so she doesn't feel like she misses you. Otherwise, just let her know that you will just keep putting her back to bed and then do it. Good luck!

She will continue to wake up if you keep getting up and putting her to sleep. You may want to read some books on this. I found that one technique worked for us. We would sit by the crib without touching or talking to our babies, for 10 minutes, then I would move myself back a little bit and sit for 10 min., then move back a little more for 10 min., etc. ....until I am out of the room. I did this for 1 week. I did not get up during the night, whether my babies cried or not. they eventually slept through the night. every book I have read and if you watch the show "Nanny" on tv, they all say this same thing in one way or another. it can be difficult to hear them cry, but it will pay off...the child does not suffer, crying is their way of telling you they want attention.

Go to the library and pick up "the no cry sleep soulution" and keep her in your room with you until you finish reading it. Good luck. It sounds very stressful. =[

NO, she is not having separation anxiety and is scared unless there has been some major changes in your daily living habits. Or changes in living conditions. Has she slept thru night prior? Otherwise she has found another way to seek your attention and get what she wants. You must prevail you are the parent and she is the child. It might take alot of patients but trade off with your spouse/significant other and most of all follow through. Eventualy she will give up.

Is it possible one or both of you could sleep in her room for awhile until this passes for her? Or perhaps she could sleep in your room, if not in your bed, perhaps a bed on the floor? Just a comforter on the floor might be all the "bed" she needs until she feels secure and reassured again. (Insomnia can effect people of all ages.)

There is nothing wrong with giving a child what they truly need. Why do we persist in thinking that a child must sleep in their own room, even when they are displaying a contrary need? In some cultures husbands and wives dont sleep together; what if your husband decided he would perfer to sleep in his own room and bar you from being there during sleeping time? Our children have the same feelings........Something to think about.....

Hi! Lack of sleep is no joke! My daughter, now 26, and sleeping through the night, :), slept with us until she was almost three, which was fine with us, as we had a small place, any way. When we got two bedrooms, we made a big deal about her having her own room and gave her a special flashlight that she picked out and a big enough thermos to provide a few drinks, that she also picked out. This did the trick and after only a few nights with her cuddly stuffed animals, peeking in a few times and calls of, "Hi, honey!" all went well. Good luck! Regards, R.

It sounds like you may need to continue to use a crib - maybe with a netting canopy so she can't get out. You could also change the lock around on her bedroom door so she can't open it from the inside. If she is coming to your room while you're sleeping, she could get herself into danger while you're sleeping, so turning the lock around is an easy and free thing to do.

Nipping the sleep habits NOW is going to be your only salvation. It will only get worse if she has trained you to the point where she expects you be in view til she falls asleep, thinks it's okay to wake you, etc. With a baby monitor, you'll be able to see/hear that she's okay, and she'll have to learn to self-soothe.

Here's a great book:
http://www.amazon.ca/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Toddlers-Presc...

Best,
C.

My 3 year old is doing the same thing. We spent one whole night with him screaming and crying, he wanted to sleep our bed, which my husband and I don't want to start. We just had a new baby and I think it's to do with this transition and seperation anxiety. I have offered him a choice, he can sleep in his bed (he starts in his bed) and if he wakes up in the night, he can stay in his bed or sleep on a sleeping bag in the hall outside our door. He knows that he is not to come in our room til the sun is up...unless it was an emergency of course...and this has worked for us for now. I have to say, everyone can say all they want, to tell a child that they have to stay in there bed, but that doesn't always work, my son just would not stay in his room with out us in there. This solution works for everyone, and it certainly calms him....
K.

Yep separation anxiety is a very real thing that comes and goes.
Some experts have concluded that it is just easier to accept that this is the way kids are, and let them sleep with both of you or one of you until they don't have the issue anymore.
I wonder if you have considered co-sleeping...or some sort of modified co-sleeping. (Husband and you take turns sleeping near her.) This could ease her panic...maybe she would not wake up so often. Then make your sleep plans from there.
But the anxiety may return again (This happens with a lot of sleep training methods...works for a while, but...) I am for simplicity and working with nature (the way babies and kids really are...all over the world) so I chose to co-sleep. My 26 month old wakes up once each night...and falls back to sleep quickly.
Someone needs to warn people before they become parents...of the real nature of babies and little kids. Your life...awake and asleep, is going to change. Maybe some mandatory class in high school or something. :)
I find myself agreeing with Char S. and to some degree Tonya M below. (I like Dr. Phil for the most part too.)

I have three children of my own and all three of them would only go to sleep if I layed with them, then they would wake up at night and sleep with us or we would put them back to bed. By the time my daughter came along, I said NO MORE. My husband will not let my kids "cry-it-out" so I knew I had to find a new approach. Believe it or not, I found it on Dr. Phil. He had a dr. on his show that teaches how to get your child to sleep and stay asleep and make sure your child gets enough sleep everyday. Anyway, it's a process of about 10 days and basically you work your way out of your child's room a little every night until they are going to bed without you in the room. It's called the "Shuffle" and here's a link to the website: http://www.sleeplady.com/am_slumber.htm It worked for our daughter and my 2 year old son! Good luck to you!

Hey D.,

I swear, sometimes I read these posts and responses and become so discouraged about parenting ideas. If you truly feel she is suffering from separation anxiety, do you think the right thing to do is to let her cry it out or lock her in her room or tell her she can't come to you when she's scared and lonely? The idea that your child will never be able to sleep without you is BUNK. Yep, that's right, it's a bunch of caca-doody propagated by parents who want their children to respond to parental needs in the parent's time frame. Look, if it feels wrong to do it, it probably is when it comes to your child. If your daughter wants you present when she falls asleep, I'd be there. Heck, I'd put her in my bed, or stay with her in hers for a while until she's feeling more secure. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and we still play musical beds on the odd night, but for the most part, I lay with them til they fall asleep and they are out for the night. Was it always this way? No. Up until 2 months ago, my 2 year old boy child was waking up 5 times a night, too. I didn't change a thing and he eventually worked it out. Honestly, the things we sometimes suggest people do with their children to "break them of bad habits" would be unthinkable to do to any adult that you loved and cared for. And really, do you like having another body next to yours when you sleep? I do. So do my kids, imagine that. Know why? Because it's completely natural. It's the way we are made. Know why some kids learn to "self-soothe" through crying it out? Because they give up-something inside of them dies a little bit with the knowledge that mom and dad just aren't coming to meet their needs. Would you lock your spouse in his or her room, or gate off an elderly relative to keep him or her away from you? Then why would you do that to your kid? In the name of "sleep training?" Ridiculous. It is we parents who need to be trained to meet the needs of our innocent, open-hearted children instead of our own. This period of your life will pass quickly. I understand your sleep-deprivation-I've lived it. But I bet if you gave your daughter what she's telling you she needs and wants, this would resolve in a matter of weeks or months.

Take care of yourself, and follow your intuition. You will not ruin your daughter if you take her to your bed or spend a few nights in hers You will be showing her that you are capable and willing of being there for her when she needs you, not just when it's easiest.

Al

hi D.. my 24 month-old son does exactly what your little girl does.....every night!! my husband and i are so sleep deprived and frustrated. i have been told to keep his door shut and if he wakes up, he will have to cry it out on his own. i won't lock his door, obviously....so how do i keep him physically in his room and out of ours??

I haven't crossed that bridge yet, but I think this would be an awesome resource.... http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071444912.php Good luck! Hang in there and just be gentle!