My 21 Month Old Is Crawling Out of His Crib and I AM TIRED!!!

Updated on January 10, 2008
E.N. asks from Greenfield, IN
23 answers

Hello Everyone!! First Off Happy New Year to all!! On with my problem!! I have a very STRONG WILLED and strong for that matter 21 month old who has just started crawling out of his crib!! The first night I just let him in my bed and called it a night! Then at nap I did the same! Which may have started a horrible habit! Now I am making him sleep in his crib and I am at a loss of ideas! I have tried using the pack and play hoping maybe he couldn't get out of that....but he can! I have (and am currently doing so!) let him cry and cry and keep getting out and continue to take him back say I love you and put him back in his crib!! But naps and night time are HORRIBLE!! We aren't sleeping! My fiance is the ONLY one that can get him to go to sleep just with a bottle and rocking and NO problems!! However since we do not live together it is me that is doing the majority of the naps and night time battles!! HELP!!! Any ideas are helpful!! OH and the gate at the door doesn't work...he can climb like a monkey over ANY gate and knows how to open all doors!! Like I said I am at a loss of ideas!! I will GLADY be open to any of yours!!! (As long as they don't involve spnaking!!)
THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!!!
E. Newberg

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A.P.

answers from Chicago on

Maybe it is time for him to get a Big Boy bed! My son did the same thing at 18 months, so the second day he jumped out of the crib, I took down the crib and put in a full size bed. No problems, he was so happy he was a big boy in his new bed. We got him thomas sheets and his favorite blankets and he slept through the night ever since. That has been over a year now. Best of luck.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I have a son who is part monkey, too. I switched him to a big boy bed as soon as he climbed out of the crib. I never locked him in his room. I just child proofed the room and put a gate at the top of the stairs so he didn't fall down if he walked around during the night. One Step Ahead sells really tall gates that my guy couldn't climb. I put knob covers on all the doors to other rooms except mine. So, he was safe in his room and the hallway and if he came into my room I would wake up and take him back to his room. I also tried a motion sensitive nightlight that would turn on in my room if he got up in his room (I bought it from One Step Ahead) but after a while he started just getting up, playing for a few minutes and then going back to bed so I stopped using the light. Now he is 3 and will sometimes get up during the night, open his shade or turn on his CD player or something and then go back to bed.

Hope that helps!

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C.P.

answers from Chicago on

Dear E.,

I went through the same thing, only our son was only 16 months old when it started. It's time to transition to a big boy bed. The first month for us was the hardest. We basically sat next to our son's bed every night for a while until he fell asleep... but transitioning the whole bed time routine into his room and bed really helped. Story time in his bed works very well.
It sounds like you have an issue with your son sleeping through the night (I'm very familiar with that one too : ) if he's waking up all night coming into your room. That's a whole other issue. Our son (2.5) still wakes up at night and comes into our bed. We're actually okay with that but insist that all naps and bedtime occur in his bed every time with no exceptions ever. You'll have to be very very consistent.
We bought a very nice gate that opens like a door and locks with a tricky latch (Parents is the brand I think) that our son couldn't get open or climb over. it's not the kind that you move out of the way that can easily be climbed. it's semipermanently installed into the frame of the door. it has also worked well for time outs now that he's older. we've just recently taken it down because our son stays in his room well now.
You'll have a difficult transition period. But hang in there. Seriously though, it's time to give up the crib. Our doctor told us right away to put our son in a bed.

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S.G.

answers from Chicago on

Sound like "big-boy-bed" time. We had good luck with both of our girls transitioning to a simple "mattress sitting on the floor" setup. It's not very far to fall, and you can gradually raise it up as he gets better at it.

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L.W.

answers from Chicago on

Get a crib tent. He will not be able to crawl over it.
http://www.securebaby.com/crib_tents_all.html

Also, do not give into giving him a bottle. He is crying out because he knows you will come in and give him what he wants (attention). He is old enough that he does not need a bottle in the middle of the night.
You may have to let him cry it out a little bit before he realizes that you are not coming in. It may take a few nights but he will be safe and eventually go to sleep.

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L.R.

answers from Chicago on

Though your fiance is currently having more success, I think that your method is more tried and true. The bottle at night is a hard habit to break and if the bottle holds anything but water, the baby's teeth will ultimately suffer.

Adjusting Tyler's nap schedule may help with bedtime, as he may eventually be too tired to continue returning to your room. It's hard to say why Tyler has trouble falling asleep alone, but hang in there. Giving in to him even sometimes will only make it harder for him to ever learn to tough it out. In fact, your fiance can help you by using your same approach.

Try some sleep aids to increase his comfort when he goes to bed. Maybe soft music, maybe the softest teddy bear in the world. Maybe even warm milk before retreating to his bedroom (before brushing his teeth & gums, of course).

Best of luck to you.

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C.H.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I had one of those, lol. I tried it all and I mean every gaget and contraption I could get my hands on. I ended up putting hook and eye latches on all the doors. But only after my neighbor brought me my 3 years back across the drive in her undies at 3am on a winter night. Crazy kid fooled me and stopped crying so I thought she was asleep and when to bed.It was then she left the house to go see if the neighbor would pay attention to her cries. He would baby her when we would visit next door and bring her cookies and popcicles. Talk about feeling like a bad mom. The neighbor just laughed and even installed the hook and eyes for me the next day. I locked the house down tight and hooked her bedroom door and outside screens. She was not only confined to her room at night but inside the house too. I even bought a cow bell and hung on the outside of her door in case she monkeyed out of her room some how. Once she realized she was not getting out of her room and had plenty of toys to play with she gave up and would play till she fell asleep. I figured it was better to lock her down then her get out again and get hit or something worse. She is now 11 yrs old and we joke about it. Funny part about this is I still use a bell on the door handles to know when someone is going in or out. It's a norm in my house after this child. Reminds me to check the doors when the kids go in and out so the house does not fill up with bugs or waist heating or cooling. Worked for me and still working. lol Good luck.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

E.,

Since he's climbing out, that MAY be part of the thrill. Maybe you can switch him to a toddler bed. We did this for our son about 3 months ago (he was about 27 months). He never climbed out, but we just felt it was time.

The first night was great, but then he realized his freedom. So, what we did is put him in bed and tell him that he needs to stay in bed. I'd close the door, but leave it open a tiny crack so I could peek in. I'd watch him and if he got out, I'd go in the room, scoop him up and put him in bed. No eye contact, no talking, nothing. After about 10 times, he realized it really wasn't getting him anywhere and he fell asleep. This went on for about 3 nights and he finally gave up. Now he won't get out of bed until the morning or after nap.

There were times that he thought it was a game and would laugh or say "Hiiiiiii" when we came in the room. We didn't respond to anything he did. Just picked him up and put him in bed. Both my husband and I did this (in shifts since we had a newborn, too) so he knew he wasn't going to get away with it from either of us.

Good luck.

T.

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C.D.

answers from Chicago on

Boy, this is a tough one. My 21 month old climbs very well too, but I have a crib tent on his crib and use it every time he is in there. My older son, climbed out of his crib at 9 months, so I paid the $50 back then and had one to use for my 21 month old now. I say it is hard because I don't know that I would spend the money on the crib tent if you aren't going to have another child in the future to use it with. Most kids switch to a bed when they are somewhere in there 2's. Most kids get too big for the crib around then (is your son tall for his age?). So, spending $50 for an item that won't last you that long is a tough one. If you want him to remain in the crib, then buy it. If not, then I would switch him to a bed for his safety. Once he is in the bed, you have no choice but to keep putting him back in his bed when he gets out. You need to be consistent and do it everytime, or you will start a habit that is hard to break (ex: letting him sleep with you). One thing I did, that some people are against, is put a child safety door knob thing on the inside of my son's door so he can't get out. I didn't want him wondering the house alone, and I have a hearing loss, so I felt we had no choice but to do this. I also felt like he was safer since I knew where he was at all times. If there is a fire, I could go and get him, as I wouldn't want him out by himself then anyway. (I think that is why most people have issues with this method, but I think it is safer to use it than to not). So, I think those are your options- buy a crib tent, or switch to a bed. If you do buy a bed, you can just buy the matress and keep that on the floor since he is so young and could really hurt himself if he falls off. Or, you can buy a big boy bed and put on rails.

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B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi E.- I also had a couple of climbing kids in my past. This may sound horrible, but I turned the doorknob around so I could lock my little climber in from the hallway. We had a master on the 1st floor and I was concerned that even with the gate at the top and bottom of the stairwell and a gate on her door that she would get out. We kept the monitor in so we could hear her at all times and made her room safe.
Good Luck!

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L.S.

answers from Fort Wayne on

If I were you I would look into door knob covers. The ones we bought look like hollow baseballs and fit over most door knobs. We bought ours at Babies R US, but I'm sure they carry something at Wal-Mart. They were so good even my ten year old couldn't get into the laundry room.lol. I would even look into a toddler bed. Just leave the moniter in the room to make sure nothing terrible is going on. Just put him to bed with the same routine every night and leave it at that. With the cover on the doorknob he'll be stuck, and hopefully you'll be able to sleep at least knowing that he's not out and about discovering the house. And I agree with you on the spanking. It's not always the answer some people think it is.

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M.E.

answers from Chicago on

I saw a netting device that was on some cribs of sextuplets just for that reason. Maybe you should look into it. Google prevent toddler/child from crawling out of crib....and see what pops up. Here's a link. Good Luck.
http://www.amazon.com/Cozy-Crib-Tent-Original-Backordered...

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L.D.

answers from Chicago on

Try one of the crib tents so he can't crawl out. They sell them at Babies R Us or you can get one online. Good luck!

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S.L.

answers from Indianapolis on

If he's crawling out he's a lot safer to be in a big boy bed. My sister's little one is a climber, and Oh My Goodness can he go...

And unfortunately as far as the crying is concerned, the general lack of sleepfulness in your house, my thought is you are going to have to wait him out. When my son started up like that, and he did at that age and still does sometimes, it was certainly a challenge. Battle of the wills, and only one of us can win. He used to sleep with me too, for a long time actually, and when he was about 3 and I could finally afford a place with two bedrooms, it took time and a ton of patience to get him to sleep in his own bed. He did finlly get it, there is light at the end of the tunnel, you just might be pretty sleep deprived by the time you get there!

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N.R.

answers from Elkhart on

It may not help him to stay in his room but I would suggest you get him a toddler bed or twin. He could hurt himself climbing out of the crib. I have seen the little tykes fun car, firetruck etc. beds at consignment shops. That is the lest expansive way to buy one. Maybe a fun bed would keep him in bed. I had to move my children to beds when they were even younger and it helped. Good luck!!

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A.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

They have Crib tents that you can buy that may help keep him in his crib. I am not sure how stable they are, so I would definately check it out first. I know they have them at Babies R. Us.

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B.S.

answers from Chicago on

The big girl bed worked for us too.. once she got her own twin size bed and own sheets and big girl blanket nothing held any interest anymore, not climbing out of her bed, not our room & bed nor the thought of roaming the house. It was wonderful!

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K.C.

answers from Chicago on

I personally think you are doing the right thing by walking him back to his room and making him responsible for getting back to sleep himself. I hear you that you are tired, but if you are consistent with your method (and don't let your finance do anything other than walk him back to his crib too) then I think you will see the results that you want. It may some time before your son is convinced that you are serious, but think of it as 2 weeks of being tired versus years of him coming into your room and interrupting your sleep or whatever you may be doing. Also, have you seen those plastic covers for covering door handles that are supposed to prevent the kiddies from being able to open the door?? Here's a link http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId.... Maybe try that on his door?

Good luck and keep up the good work!!
~ K.

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A.J.

answers from Chicago on

we made a larger "crib" to play in and given ourselves a break. room is kid safe, of course and we've turned the door knob around so the push button is on the outside. I put a q-tip on top of the door frame so I can get out should I ever accidentally get locked in. we have big kid bed. and mine could open the door knob covers. does keep child safe in own room.

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K.K.

answers from Chicago on

Have you tried putting him in a sleep sack or putting one of those tent things on his crib?

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S.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

Dear E.,
Do you have the crib matress at the absolute lowest point?
Does your little boy go to sleep in the crib?
When you place him back in the crib the first time, say "It is time to sleep."
The second time and any others following, do not say anything, just place him in the crib.
You might have to do this quite a few times but he must get the idea.
Also, make sure that it is dark so that he knows that nighttime is sleep time.
Be consistent if possible...I know you are tired.
Here I am telling you this and the fact is that my husband and I let all of our 6 children into our bed if they awoke in the middle of the night.
Babies and toddlers of course...but we never talked to them and they were expected to go back to sleep right away.
That was the only way that I got any rest!
So, do what is best for you.

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M.W.

answers from Chicago on

Definitely the crib tent is the way to go. It is well worth the money it costs. Our monkey was able to unzip it from the inside the first time we put it on though, so I ended up having to thread a long ribbon through the zipper pull, and then tying it around the crib leg down low where she couldn't reach it. After the first couple times, I no longer needed to tie it. The tent we used was mesh, so you could see in and baby could see out. Also, it was arched and high enough to stand up in. I felt a little guilty at first, but it was a safety and health issue, and as soon as I saw how well it worked I was a convert. The doorknob covers never worked for us either. She was able to figure them out the very first time we put them on. We too eventually resorted to turning around the doorknobs. Just be sure that you have a toothpick or similar in your child's room in case they decide to lock you both in one day (says the voice of experience :)

Good luck.

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E.B.

answers from Chicago on

We're dealing with the same thing here. Our 25 month old's New Year's Resolution was to get out of the crib at all costs. We put the gate at the door, which works for now, but we've also installed those child-proof doorknob covers on the bathroom and closet doors in case he escapes. What if you used that on the inside of your son's bedroom door?

As for the crib, they say to leave the side down once they consistently climb out so that when they do, they don't hurt themselves by falling. When he climbs out, you pick him up and simply say "back to bed." There is no soothing, no negotiating, no explaining. It takes a loooooong time but it's part of the lessons of growing up, you know? Once they learn to get out, they have to learn that when we go to bed we stay there until morning. If your son continues to get out and you think he's ready to learn to use it, I'd try a big boy bed. We have our son's new bed already in his new bedroom (we're having another baby in May) so it's there when we decide to try it out. I personally think that crib tents make cribs like cages and I'd rather deal with the challenges of getting my son to sleep in a regular bed than spend the money for something like that.

I feel your pain. Isn't it amazing how they're such great problem solvers at such an early age? If we weren't so tired from chasing them around, we might actually appreciate their determination ;) Good luck!

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