My 2 1/2 Year Old WON'T Let Me Brush Her Teeth

My 3 year old son used to be the same way... he hated it when I brushed his teeth. So I started letting him brush them on his own (for about a week) with out correcting him or helping (I doubt they were very clen for that week) but it got him over the fight of going in the bathroom. After the week, we started playing a game of "you brush, I brush" (we each got one stroke of the tooth brush and I sang a song... for distraction) I did that for about a week, and now we have the routhine down to where I brush his teeth first and then he gets to brush them all by himself (I reload the tooth brush with tothpaste for him... because that's really a big deal to him.) We no longer struggle to brush his teeth, in fact he looks forward to showing me what a big kid he is by doing it himself... and i make it a big deal for him.
Good luck!

Have you taken her to see a dentist? Perhaps she has a cavity and is sensitive to brushing. Maybe take her to the store and let her pick out a cool toothbrush, like the ones that play tunes and a flavored toothpaste. Did you know they now have strawberry flavor? Tell her that brushing makes you super smart, it worked for me my kids brush like crazy and floss!! Don't give up, you are in control!! If nothing else tell her that until she brushes her teeth then no _______ whatever she enjoys like a favorite tv show etc........ Hope this helps!!

What about making a big deal of letting her get a new toothbrush and her own toothpaste?

I had to brush my daughters while she was mesmerized by the tv for a while.

My husband plays a game with her... her belly button is the button to open her mouth.

When brushing my two year olds teeth we make up a funny song and then make a funny noise that requires aour mouths to be opened and then I go in and give them a good brushing before she even knows what happened. Good Luck!

It could possibly hurt. If she is teething that could be the problem. Ask her if it hursts. You might put origel on the gums before you brush. If she says yes, then say ok, we will try tommorrow. This in time will pass. You could try to get her to swish with fluoride.

T. C,
Hello. I feel your pain. My kids seem to go in and out of the brush your teeth and wipe your b##tt issue, our job is never done. However I have found a great toothbrush to help me get my little ones to brush. Matter of fact I got it for my 6 year old and my 8 year old was mad he did not get one. If you go to www.youravon.com/raemaleewalsh then at the top "shop now" then in the search box type toothbrush you will find the following: more info

Healthy Remedies Musical Lights Toothbrush
Fun way to keep the little ones healthy.

$9.99
I have been giving them to my friends. I even gave one to my dentist for his daughter..she loves it too! The best part is it comes with 2 extra heads. So you can change the head every 4 months and it last you all year. I hope this helps. The key is that it lights up AND plays twinkle twinkle little start for the recommended 2 minutes. And they have to brush to get it to work. They love it! Its fun, they can dance, see it in the mirror. Enjoy. And if you like it please tell others. If you don't call Avon and they will give you a refund. All their products are Guaranteed! Blessings,

I am sure the other responses cover this, but MAKE SURE YOU BRUSH HER TEETH! DO NOT GIVE UP. Parents should be brushing their children's teeth until they are eight years old (pediatric dentists say so). When we start "the struggle," I say "OK you do it" and let her brush her own teeth. Then I say, "OK now I have to check."

We call cavity causeing bacteria "buggy germs" and I tell my kids I have to get all of the buggy germs out of their mouths so they don't eat their teeth. I play, "Oh, there's one, let me get it" Oh, no it ran over here...

I also sing while I brush their teeth. At this age kids kind of automatically copy what they see, so as I am brushing, I sing the "princess song" which is kind of like Cinderella singing to the animals (but sounds a lot worse from me) ah,ah, ah...very high and very ah!

If all else fails, and try for fun first, you need to get your husband to sit her on his lap and lean her back onto his knees. You sit in front of him and while he holds her hands, you pry open and brush. That is the way the ped. dentist has to do some exams...we are good friends so I know all of her tricks. Anyway, good luck!

Sounds like it might be an independence struggle--we've had that with our son who's nearly 3...although fortunately not with teeth brushing because we set a routine early and we're lucky that he hasn't fought it. We have made a few changes to make him feel more independent, most notably that he's got 3 different toothbrushes (Piglet, Diego, and James the Red Engine) and he gets to pick which one we use). We also sing the toothbrushing song, which I made up in desperation one day when he was really fighting me (to the tune of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat": Brush, brush, brush your teeth / gently with the gums / merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily / brushing's so much fun!). It's nothing terribly creative, but it works because a) he loves music and b) it provides structure. We sing the song 4 times, brushing first his upper, then his lower, then his upper, and then his lower teeth. He knows that each brushing session lasts as long as the song, and that the whole toothbrushing will last for 4 repeats of the song.

We usually can get him to stand still that long. We also try to encourage the idea of teethbrushing by letting him "brush" his teeth whenever we are. We let him use one of our old toothbrushes and we put adult toothpaste on the brush so he can feel grown up. Then we face him so he can copy what we're doing and he gets to do all the brushing and rinsing himself. I've noticed he's actually getting pretty good technique that way, at least with the front teeth!

Please don't give up trying! If taking a laid back approach didn't work, then it's now up to you to stick with it for the long haul. I believe you are right to be concerned about the health of her teeth. I don't know your parenting style or philosophies, but my first thought is to withhold something that she loves until each time she complies with having her teeth brushed. Maybe there's a game she enjoys or you could have a longer story time? Try setting a timer for 15-20 minutes. Tell her if she brushes her teeth right away, then you'll play with her or read to her until the timer goes off. Of course, what you use for motivation will depend on what your daughter especially likes. And, lastly, if something like this doesn't work, then I would never go more than a couple of days without brushing them despite her kicking and fighting. Also, you may need to withhold sweets including pop and juice if she isn't brushing enough. And one last thought, on days when she hasn't allowed you to brush well, encourage her to drink water as that will help to rinse out her mouth as well. Hang in there. This too shall pass!

Go to the drug store and let her pick out a new toothbrush and toothpaste (Tom's All Natural Strawberry Flavor is usually a hit with the girls b/c it is pink). Let her know that that night before bedtime, you will take a turn first, then she will take a turn, before you even make it to the bathroom that night so she knows what to expect. If she still has a screaming tantrum, it may be painful for her and perhaps a visit to the dentist could clear up some unknowns.

We have Tom's Toothpaste in apricot and strawberry and our girls (ages 5,4,2) love it. And it's fluoride free so you don't have to worry about having them spit it out. You can get it in the healtfood section at HEB, at Wholefoods, and a few other stores.

I actually have to chase my 2 yo out of the bathroom because she is always wanting to brush her teeth. I let her brush first, then I come in behind her.

Have you tried letting her pick out her own toothbrush? What about an electric tooth brush?

I am a dentist and know the importance of you winning this battle. I have 2 children of my own, one of which used to fight me every time I brushed her teeth. If your daughter reacts that severely to brushing (as mine did) then you will need help. Try getting your husband to help you hold her arms and body so she can't squirm and so she won't get hurt. It is very easy to poke them with the brush and hurt their mouth. If you have someone helping to restrain her then you can focus on brushing. Once she realizes you are going to brush her teeth with or without a fight, she will probably give up. Try to make it fun, you can sing about the "busy brush" that is going to make her teeth beautiful. The most important thing is that you are not the one giving up. With modern diets rich in starches and carbohydrates, dental decay can happen easily, especially in baby teeth that have thinner enamel protecting their teeth than adult teeth.
Best wishes

All responses are thoughtful and good. That kids are beginning to be autonomous is a good point. Often electric brushes are efficient and fast. Most are too noisy for little ones. My favorite for children, though pricy, is the Rotadent, available through some dentists... Just checked - they're also available at Amazon. It's almost silent and the bristles are very soft. If used right (and I noticed they have good pictures on their website - use the flat brush.) the bristles splay under the gums. That's important.

Whether electric, or manual, kids often do better without toothpaste when the adult brushes. With my children, I let them brush with a manual brush first (to give them the "I can do it!" positive feeling.) I always gave them a choice if they wanted to use toothpaste or not. Always use a non-fluoride toothpaste for little ones. It's been proven they swallow about 40% of toothpaste and a CDC report from 3/06, was the basis for the ADA recommendation that formula should not be mixed with fluoridated water for children under the age of one.. (Note: most bottled water is fluoridated. In 40 states, one can order or find Sparkletts, which doesn't have fluoride unless you request it. By the way, this same CDC report noted that at least 22% of all children, up to 69% in high socio-economic class areas who fluoridate, have dental fluorisis. Think of teeth as the canary in the coal mine. The same CDC report stated that a 110 lb. adult drinking 2 liters of water a day is getting between120%-605% more than “optimal recommended exposure" because it's in processed foods, pesticides, dental products, etc. Grape juice for instance can have 6ppm+. This is 6X the optimal dose set ofor a 110 pound adult drinking only one liter of water/day and having no other sources of fluoride. It must be noted that many scientists are in disagreement about the 1ppm level “ideal” rate and that fluoride sources for all of us have exponentially increased.)

Off my band box: plaque is removed by mechanical, not chemical action. After my kids brush by themselves with a manual brush, I do "double-check". They lie back on their bed with their mouth open as though they are at the dentist. When things are running more smoothly, always remind them to close down a bit while you brush the outside back teeth to relax their main chewing muscle. This gives them more room for a comfortable brush fit. (Read them a dental children's book if you haven't yet. This helps with the modeling...) A quick run with the electric brush and no toothpaste while singing or lightly commenting about whatever - "Oh! Here's a little piece of (whatever was eaten that day...)" And model always. I always let my children watch me brush and floss. They want to be just like us. My children began flossing when they were two. Not well, mind you, but I let them do what they could. Habit forming is critical.. As they relaxed into the toothbrushing routine with my help, they also let me floss for them.

Just a thought, I hated to push my children and form oral aversions. I wonder if you should not push it for a couple of days - maybe just give her her brush without comment while you brush and floss and see what happens. When my children got older, I gave them their brush and a flosser to use while I read to them. They spent a lot more time at home care than they otherwise would have!

Yours in health,
RDH/dental hygienist

Have you tried reverse psychology? Not only can you MODEL the behavior you want, but kids that age want to go the EXACT opposite of what you want them to do, just to prove they are independent. Try: "I'm going to go brush my teeth so they will be clean and happy teeth, but you can't brush yours."
Of course, when she gets in the bathroom and insists to brush her teeth too, let her have at it. She will soon catch on so you can't use this method every time, but maybe it will get her interested in brushing again.
Whatever you do, DON'T threaten her with going to the dentist. THAT will be a bigger can of worms for you and her dentist office, but most importantly HER. I hear from so many ADULTS they are scared of the dentist and never had a "bad" experience at the dentist office to coincide with this fear :)

GOOD LUCK Traci!

It sounds like her teeth are hurting her. I would get her into a pediatric dentist pronto! They usually will do a free exam for kids under 3. I would "shop around" too if you need to to find one you really like. We went to 4 different ones, all with different routes they wanted us to take when my son's front teeth were coming in crumbling. We ended up extracting them but the first dentist wanted us to put him under general anesthesia and cap them all right away. That didn't feel right so we kept looking.
Anyway, take her in asap. In the meantime you can check out two yahoo groups that have a wealth of information on kids teeth. One is: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/veryyoungkidsteeth/

& the other is:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/alternativekidsteeth/
good luck!
K.

seems that all of mine have gone through such a phase with brushing their teeth...and usually around that age. we try silly games or songs night after night until one sticks. then that becomes the routine for a good while. by chance, we discovered that my youngest daughter prefers to be held upside down while her teeth are brushed. another liked it when i made obnoxious brushing sounds or let her growl like a tiger and scare me. kind of silly advice, but the bottom line is...keep trying. and make sure it's not pain that's causing her outbursts. if it is, visit the dentist right away.

hey T., have you taken her to the dentist yet? she may have some teeth in there that are bothering her and thats the reason why she doesnt want you to touch them. also you can try and make a game out of it. buy her an electric toothbrush that would be fun to use and let her pick it out at the store so she will feel like she had a part in it. also buy a timer. set it for two minutes and tell her that she can brush for two minutes until the timer goes off. it gets there mind off of being a chore and makes it fun. hope this helps. kim.

My little girl has a habbit of chewing the inside of her cheek. Check the inside of her mouth for sores. Maybe brushing hurts right now. She could be putting a toy in her mouth that might have cut the inside. my daughter began to complain about it hurting when she brushed. I asked her why and she showed me the inside of her mouth.
Just a thought.

Have you taken her to a dentist yet? There are some great pedi dentists. She might be having a power struggle issue or it might be something wrong with her mouth. She also might like a change in toothbrush. Maybe a battery operated one.
I have had one kid who I had to turn upside down to get his mouth open.
Another one who I had to sit on him to hold him still. This last one, I got a Cars batery operated tooth brush and now he lets me brush his teeth. The battery ones are not all the same. If you go that route try a couple of different brands. My son has a newly diagnosised sensory disorder. The brand rotate at different rates, making some more comfortable than others for kids.
My daughter is 2 and 1/2. Sometimes I have a small battle with her.
Do not give up.
L.

My son is like this. We would brush the bugs out of his mouth. I would say things like, "Oh, I see a grasshopper, I have to get it." That worked some of the time. Other times, it would take my husband and I to get his teeth brushes. I would lay him on the floor in my lap and basically hold him down. I would talk him through his emotions while I brushed his teeth. It was hard, but teeth brushing is not an option. He grew out of the tantrums between 2.5-3. Now he is very cooperative. I have been there, though!

Hey T. , one thing that I learned is that I bought my son a spongebob toothbrush. I also let him be the big boy and put his toothpaste on his own toothbrush. I told him e has to brush his teeth like mommy and daddy. I bought him a little tep up chair so tht he coud see is self in the mirror. Since hes a boy I put some shaving cream on his face to make him think that he was really being a little man who was independent. Try giving her a little freedom and tell her how gret of a job that she did. Then step in and say spongebob said he didnt get to touch your front teeth ..... It worked for me.. Good luck S.

I sing to my children when I brush their teeth (row, row, row your boat) and they let me brush a little longer. Try to remain positive. It is important to brush every day and establish good dental hygiene. Ask her if why she doesn't like brushing her teeth. Also, let her watch you and your husband and her siblings brush their teeth. Let her pick out a new toothbrush (princess, Dora, Barbie, etc.) or even one of the firefly toothbrushes that flashes for 1 minute and then goes off when you are done brushing. Good Luck!

Maybe try changing toothpaste something that is like bubble gum flavor

I had the same problem with my 2 year old boy. I purchases a battery operated tooth brush with the training bubblegum toothpaste. We make a game out of it. He only lets me scrub a couple of times, but with the spinning brush, it allows me to clean better. Then, when he doesn't want me to anymore, I let him have the brush for a few minutes, and since he thinks it's a toy, he'll walk around chewing on it as it spins. He ends up cleaning more without my extra effort.

Let me know if this works for you.

I'd take her to a pediatric dentist. She may have pain in her gums or teeth so she doesn't want to brush. She's not to young to see the dentist. Her teeth will be professional cleaned and then you can request seleants on her teeth to avoid cavities.

Hi T.,

You should maybe take her to the dentist to get her teeth checked out. If she used to enjoy it and then all of a sudden it's horrible for her maybe something is bothering her. Maybe something is hurting when she brushes. Some great tips that helped me is buying them their toothbrushes with their favorite cartoon character. Well good luck.

Hey there T....My name is S. and i wanted to tell you that ....I know how hard it is to fight with them to do things that are good for them...but your the parent....the guide...the caretaker...make it fun..get toothbrushes that light up make a game out of it, reward her with things, like sugar free candies or a coloring book afterward..you know....well respond back to me and let me know...i know that it is hard though..take care and good luck...

S. Pele

T.,

My name is S. and I have worked 20 years in dentistry as an assistant. I have 2 girls and have had great success with oral care but I know that can change in the blink of an eye.
Perhaps buying a new electric (character that your child likes) toothbrush. Or another option is a Firefly toothbrush. They carry them at Walmart. Squeeze the handle and it lights up. Make a big deal over it and see if it helps the situation. As long as your child is not going to bed with a bottle with anything other than water, and drinking fruit juice all day, don't stress. It is definitely a power issue. Hope it works for you!

I went threw the same thing I was told to make it my son's idea to brush his teeth, So I took him to the store and let him pick out his own tooth brush and his own tooth paste & his own kid mouth wash-that was the seller he wanted that mouth wash bright colored and sparkley. I told him I had to be able to help him brush and then he could have that all important mouth wash !!!! I made him feel so big in that only big kids got to use mouth wash. He thought that was very fun. It worked for me & maybe it could help with your little one.

What works for us is brushing together. DD practices while I brush my own, then I go over hers once more. Morning brushing doesn't seem to be as drawn out as night-time brushing, probably b/c she knows bedtime is coming :-) When she fusses, etc DH or I will just state that it's a House Rule - "We brush our teeth at least twice a day." and that is that. It doesn't always make the whining/fussing stop, but she does better.
I should clarify a couple of things:
1) We have a few house rules that everyone is subject to and are regularly stated - walking feet inside, wash hands after going potty, etc. -- A few are posted on a paper on the fridge with pictures to help her know what they say since she can't read yet. Everyone in the house has to brush at least twice a day, even Mommy and Daddy, because that's a House Rule.
2)She and I have talked about the food that we can see, the food we can't see and how the food turns yucky, then it gives our teeth 'owies' and then they start hurting. DH had several cavities as a child, so we've shown her the fillings in his mouth, talked about how they never come out and that it can hurt to have the yucky part of the tooth taken out, etc.
We visited with our Dental Hygienist about tooth care, etc because dd expressed interest in knowing what went on when I went to the dentist (about a 18 ago now).
Also, since her first dental visit, I've found it helpful and easier to brush her teeth if she lies down on the floor or a bed for us to brush. I position myself behind/beside her head and can easily see all her teeth.

HTH!

K. H, mama to
Catherine Anne, 4yrs (2 dental visits)
Samuel Anthony, 1yr (and 4 teeth)

Two words....tooth tunes. It's a nifty little toothbrush that plays music for two minutes.....but here's the catch: You can only hear the music clearly when the toothbrush is in the mouth. Worked like a charm for my son.

I have a 2 1/2 year old and we make it fun, we sing songs and i make it sound like a car when i brush his teeth and then after i brush his teeth then i give it to him and tell him to brush while mommy brushes and then after a few minutes when your done just turn off the water and the light and walk out and turn their attention to something else.

T.,
You have to make it as positive as you can. There are 2 things I would suggest doing. 1) Talk about it, 2) act on it. Here is what I mean. Explain to your daughter one evening after dinner about germs on her hands and how if we don't wash our hands we could get sick, then explain that we also have germs on our teeth ( which we call"suger bugs" at our house) and that just like our hands we also must brush our teeth. A good way to show her her how dirty your teeth can get- you brush your teeth with out her knowing, then sit down with her for a glass of milk and oreos. Show her what your teeth look like before your eat- how there is nothing on them. Then eat the oreos and have a good time with your girl. After you have enjoyed your oreos show her how dirty your teeth are, then take her into your bathroom and let her watch you brush your teeth and see all the dirt coming off as you spit out the water. After you have finished brushing your teeth, let her see how clean your teeth are. During the next day or 2 just randomly talk about germs and sugar bugs. On the 3rd day or so take your daughter to the store and walk up and down the toothbrush/paste aisle. Now tell your daughter that she is going to get to pick out her own new toothbrush toothpaste and dential flossers.( all kids love to pick out their own things, this makes them want t use it more) if possible try to not freak out if she picks the 5 dollar spin brush, but be prepared to shell out $10 bucks on items to help her keep her teeth in good shape. Toothbrush range in price from$2-$8, toothpaste $2-5, and those dino flossers at WalMart @ $3. By allowing her to pick the items she should feel more prompted to brush, encourage her to brush everytime she asks, don't limit it to only in the morning and at night. Remember you are trying to help build her good habits, maybe you can let her pick out a fun cd, and have brush time music, music played only when you brush, or try a sticker chart and everytime she brushes her teeth she gets to put a sticker on her chart(even if she wants to brush 8 times today) and give her a penny to put in a clear jar for every 5 stickers or dime or quarter what ever your wallet can allow. After say 15 or 20 brushes, depending on how often she is trying to brush a day, about 2 wks of stickers and coins, tell her your going to collct her money and take her to buy another toothbrush so then it gives her a daily choice as to which brush to use and gives you a change to keep changing them out as this is a good habit for all of us, to change out our toothbrushes, but it also replaces candy as a reward and helps build good habits for the future. I hope I didn't ramble to long and I hope this will be helpful to you. Godd luck.
PS - my boys each have about 4-5 toothbrushes.And that toothbrush aisle is just as much fun to go down now as the toy aisle. But, it did take time for it to grow on them!!!

Hi - my 2 year old didn't care for me brushing his teeth either..but recently I've found that if I put on his fav movie and lay him on the floor so that he can see the tv I can sort of straddle him and he'll let me brusg his teeth thouroughly. I always talk to him and tell him what I'm doing and that he is being a big boy for letting me clean his teeth. Sometimes he'll want to take the brush and do it himself and I just let him and stay patient. My dentist told me that it shouldn't take me 15 min to brush his teeth, BUT, I feel that whatever needs to be done to make it a better experience (until he's bigger) is what I'll do. Best of luck to you!!!

Hi. My name is B., I'm now 43 and the mother of two grown boys. If memory serves me this is the age when a little independence is shown and should be allowed. This is also a time when they want to do everything you are doing. Am I on the right track here? If so try this. When it's time for her to brush her teeth you brush yours too. This way she sees what you are doing and will probably brush just as long as you will. This way she is learning the movements, directions and length of time to brush. Eve if the motions still aren't quite right, the longer she brushes, the better the chances for cleaner teeth. I hopw this helps.

B.

Try 'silly strawberry' toothpaste from Tom's natural. It tastes so good and doesn't have the mint in it. Pick out a really cool looking toothbrush and tell her it's a reward if she can brush her teeth like a big girl for a week. My kids love their battery powered ones. I tell them to stick out their tongues...the tickle monster is going to brush their teeth. When they whine about not wanting to do it, I simply tell them that by not brushing, cavities can develop and that means a shot in the mouth before the dentist can get it out...kind of mean...but it's always worked! My kids just hate the taste of minty stuff..me too!

I had a similar experience when babysitting my 3-year-old grandson. He had been very cooperative when it was still a "new" activity and made him feel grown up. When he kept protesting, I asked him why. He said he didn't like the taste of the toothpaste anymore. I offered him some Aquafresh Kids toothpaste which has a "bubblemint" flavor, and he loved it! No problems anymore. You might also want a dentist to check your little one's gums to make sure that she doesn't have a condition that makes brushing painful.

Kids go through those phases with their teeth. I work for a pediatric dentist and here's what we recommend:
After bath time, when your sweet, relaxed and snuggly kiddo is wrapped tightly in a towel, lay her down on your lap and go for it. She may thrash and scream. Calmly and lovingly tell her over and over that it's ok and you will be done in a minute. Reinforce how important it is to brush our teeth and let her know that she's doing great. Do it EVERY night and she will get used to it. It is not negotiable. If her teeth look gross now, she will get decay. She will learn to trust you and she will get through it.
Once she is more willing, make sure that you move her lips and cheeks out of the way and brush along the gumline well. That's where plaque sits.

The teeth brushing is probably not the issue; she's extremely autonomous now! She's in control and exerting power over you. This is not a bad thing; completely normal for toddlers. Try sending her in to brush her teeth... kind words... like: "go ahead and do your teeth... let mommy know when you want me to check them?" and wait and be patient. Also, do you brush yours when she does hers? Modeling is a good idea.