Any Advice on Getting My 13 Month Old Daughter to Let Me Brush Her Teeth?

Updated on April 29, 2008
S.B. asks from Vancouver, WA
40 answers

I have a 13 month old daughter who has about 8-9 teeth and whenever I try to even put the toothbrush in her mouth (very gently of course!) she freaks because she doesn't like the texture of the bristles. She is ok with wiping them with a cloth, though, so that's good at least. Does anyone have any ideas? I'm not into forcing her, of course, but I want to brush them at some point since she has a bottle before she goes to bed still.

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M.D.

answers from Seattle on

I saw in a Parenting magazine that one of the parents got her child to let them brush his/her teeth by telling them it was time to "tickle her teeth". I thought that was a cute and inventive idea. Also maybe finding a brush with her favorite character on it or something that interests her. Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Portland on

My son wasn't a big fan either, but I would use his toothbrush and pretend to brush my teeth with it. I would do tops first, he would watch, then we would do his tops. Repeat with the bottoms and then the tongue.

He is almost 14 mos and still is not a huge fan of any of it, especially the tops (I still wipe those with a cloth too!), but he does let me do his bottoms and his tongue.

He finds it funny to watch me...monkey see, monkey do!

Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Bellingham on

Hi S.,
Have you tried the floride swabs? Like the ones they use in the hospital. The should sell them at the Phamacy.

Good Luck
J. J

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D.H.

answers from Portland on

Just keep trying. Five seconds at a time. Then 10 seconds. etc. At this age I find that if you consistently keep trying to get the child to do something or get used to something, it just takes repeated, consistent effort and eventually they turn the corner.

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L.B.

answers from Portland on

My daughter turned one right before Halloween, and we got her her first big-girl (the 12-24 month kind) toothbrush with duckies on it and she loves brushing her teeth because of the toothbrush. She also has one that lights up while she's supposed to be brushing and then the light goes off when she's done, I think it's called Firefly or something like that. I would suggest a fun toothbrush. But still, when I wait until the last minute at night to try and help her brush she is really resistant because of being too tired, so usually I try to get her to brush earlier than that. Just a few suggestions :)

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Lay her on her back on the bed with her head towards you, have her open her mouth or hold it open if she won't do it and brush! If she resists then keep it short, gradually working up to the A,B,C's one or two times. Do this every night after bath and she will get used to it. Also, if she just wants some control, tell her that you are going to get the sugar bugs first, then she can have a turn.

Good luck and keep at it!
M.

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G.B.

answers from Portland on

S.,

Trying to get my daughter to brush her teeth is a bit of a struggle at times. I asked her dentist what to do and he suggested that my husband and I make it a point to have one person tickle her and the other lay her back (like the dentist would) and brush her teeth. He said this gives her a little humour while doing something that needs to be done. He also said to switch off on the tickling/brushing part.

Another suggestion would be to buy the toothbrushes that play music. I love them! They provide the correct amount of time for brushing teeth and they are activated only while brushing.

Anyway, Happy clean teeth to you and your family! Good job on wanting clean healthy teeth and teaching your kids to brush.

G.

Oh, I almost forgot, make sure you give your child a toothbrush of their own to chew on and keep the one your brush their teeth with in a place where it remains in good shape for use.

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S.R.

answers from Anchorage on

With my son, I would brush as long as he would tolerate then we would let him do it himself if he listened well. He always enjoyed trying it himself, so it was a good motivator to let us finish on him first.

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J.M.

answers from Portland on

they make these little rubber finger brushes. you can find them in the baby section of most any store sold with baby toothpaste. Its what my mom used on my brother who has downs syndrome because he wouldnt let her brush. It just fits on the tip of your finger so you have lots of control and its made out of rubbery stuff so you cant accidently scratch the gums or something. I tried brushing my sons teeth at that age and ended up making him bleed ( I think he is sensitive because I was extra careful paranoid first time mom) after that I gave him the brush and brushed with him and had him copy me. That worked really well.

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K.M.

answers from Portland on

Hi S.,

A couple of things that worked for us: (sorry if they are repeats of the ones above mine)

* Using a mirror. My daughter is 20 months now, and has always loved watching herself make faces in the mirror. Teeth brushing is no exception! I held her to brush her teeth until she was big enough to stand on her stool; that way she could see us both in the mirror.

* Watching a favorite character on tv brush their teeth or seeing someone in a book or magazine with a toothbrush always gives my daughter the urge to brush! We talk about it and read about it often.

* I agree with the non-flouride training toothpaste recommended by the others. Also letting her brush your teeth and see you brush yours or Daddy's seems to be big motivation.

My daughter still doesn't like us to brush her tops. We grab the cloth still if she's especially sensitive, but encourage her to brush them longer. Now that she loves the activity, my husband can stand behind her and cup her chin, and she lets him get in there at all angles to get the really good brushing going, then she's off to brush them some more by herself. Hope you find something helpful in here, and good luck to you! Don't despair! It seems to be very normal!! :)

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L.N.

answers from Seattle on

What worked for us was to get her a toothbrush as a toy. She was at the phase of putting everything in her mouth, so it worked to our advantage, and her constant chewing was a great introduction into brushing. Good luck!

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K.W.

answers from Portland on

Lots of good advice. We used a combination of a lot of them.

1) spend several days letting them see you having a fabulous hilarious time brushing your own teeth.

2) then let them help you brush your teeth.

3) after a few days give them their own brush so they can try to brush their own.

4) after a few more days start helping them.

Hot water to soften the bristles works well.

We back off when gums seem tender during teething.

Always be careful not to tickle the roof of the mouth when doing those upper teeth!

One great tip I read but didn't use was to sing for as long as they keep their mouths open for you to brush--stop if they close their mouth--so if they want to keep hearing you sing, they have to keep their mouth open.

Best wishes!

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J.K.

answers from Bellingham on

My fun way to get my kids to accept tooth brushing was to have them in the bathroom when I brushed my teeth (even if you normally brush later, you could just do it with them earlier and brush again later). We'd sing songs and I'd be silly and made sure they could see me brushing. Then I'd pull out their toothbrushed and say "your turn". It became a fun event.

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T.M.

answers from Seattle on

I saw singing tooth brushes in target. They sing when the brissels touch the teeth baybe try one of those

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A.T.

answers from Seattle on

I let my daughter brush her teeth while I am brushing my teeth and than I take a little finger tooth brush and finish brushing her teeth for her. We had the same problem until I started doing this. My friend had the same problem and this is what her dentist told her to do. Good luck! A.

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A.B.

answers from Richland on

I never attempted to brush my babies' teeth at that young age. In fact, I didn't until they were old enough to hold their own toothbrush. If you're going to brush when she's so young, I need to caution you to use only fluoride-free toothpaste. Fluoride, in itself, is a poison (do some Google research), and if your daughter swallows it, she could get poisoned. It was only after fluoride was added to toothpaste that the "poison" caution was added to the toothpaste tubes. Not knowing any good reason that I would want to intentionally put poison in my mouth or that of my family members, I only use non-fluoride toothpaste, available from health food stores, and I don't allow the dentist to use any on my family members. And our checkups have been almost cavity free.

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D.J.

answers from Portland on

I'm with everyone else who said don't use fluoride toothpaste. We brush our son's teeth with no toothpaste at all. Just scrubbing them off twice a day does a lot of good, I think.

Some tricks that we've found to get him to open his mouth are tickling him and then quickly getting the toothbrush in there when he opens wide to laugh, standing behind him, or sitting behind him. He seems to respond much better that way than if we face him.

Finally, I think just being consistent and doing it every day, working it into the routine is the best thing to do. They will eventually accept it if they know you're not going to let up!

Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Bellingham on

Sit her on the bathroom counter when you brush your teeth and give her her toothbrush, you can keep wiping her teeth and she can "brush them or more likely suck on the toothpaste but she will get used to the tooth brush, you can always grab it at the end of the session and get a few strokes in. Usually at this age they like to imitate so she might learn to brush like you.

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H.O.

answers from Portland on

HI S.,

My doctor told me not to worry about using a toothbrush as long as I was getting them wiped down with a cloth that would be good for a while. My daughter is 12 almost 13 months old. Another thing I tried and she sometimes lets me do, but not always is Gerber puts out a Grins and Giggles "tooth paste" it has no fluoride and is safe for babies. With the toothpaste came a finger brush. It is rubber and fits over your index finer and has super, super soft "bristles". She will sometimes let me use that, but still never lets me use a toothbrush. This is just something else to try if you want more of a brush. But the doctor said as long as they are being cleaned whether it is by a toothbrush or cloth they are fine. Hope this helps.

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K.W.

answers from Portland on

Does your daughter see you brush your teeth?

We started brushing DD's teeth before she had any so she's used to it but one thing I have noticed increasingly, is that she wants to do what we do. My husband and I both have electric toothbrushes and one day I looked down and she'd grabbed her brush and was making noise as if hers was electric too.

I definitely ditto the others who say let her brush her own teeth (maybe in the morning and you get your turn at night?). The non-flouride toothpaste is great too. I know in the beginning it was the pull for DD to get her teeth brushed. At first, she was more interested in eating the paste but now she really lets us brush.

Also, if you do have an electric toothbrush, get an extra head just for your daughter and see if she'll let you brush her teeth with that. After DD saw us do it so many times she desperately wanted us to do it to her teeth and so some days, we just swap out the brush head and brush her teeth (sans toothpaste) and she loves it.

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K.M.

answers from Seattle on

I gave my kids a cup of water and a toddler toothbrush (soft bristles). They would brush their teeth with the water, often while I was brushing my teeth in the same bathroom. Then I would go back and brush their teeth with water or toddler toothpaste. Sometimes they get scared if you approach them with the toothbrush, so giving them control over something like this can make them less apprehensive.

I suggest you take her to the dentist, but use caution. Some dentists (even pediatric dentists) rush the appointment and scare the child. Stay with her and let the dentist explain things, reassuring her along the way. Also, take her with you for a regular cleaning so she can see mommy getting her teeth looked at.

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A.W.

answers from Seattle on

Try using the training toothpaste without floride. It worked wonders for us and now our daughter wants to brush her teeth all the time. Good luck

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G.S.

answers from Portland on

We used the cloth "brushes" that go over your finger - the rubber ones are easy to use too. Our kids began to be OK with the brushes at about 2 years. We got them fun little brushes that were super soft and let them carry them around and "practice". Once we seriously went to brushes, they had played with them enough and then we gave stickers, stamps, etc. when they let us brush their teeth. Now, it's pretty much routine (they are 2 1/2) and they like the toothpaste (Colgate Jr.). They get by on a " high 5" for a reward too so we are done with stickers.

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S.M.

answers from Seattle on

I asked our dentist who is also a mom and unfortunately she said she found no great wonderful trick that worked. But. .I let my son brush his own teeth (15 months) and once he has brushed he will let me brush. We had started giving him toothbrushes @ about 8 months so he was use to them. But maybe if you let her "brush" she will be more apt to let you. Good Luck
S.
PS I am with the lady on NO flouride, there is a reason tots have a different toothpaste. . .Dentist and Pediatricians will tell you NO flouride til they can BRUSH AND SPIT. And are you getting the toothbrush for 4-24 months? They are much softer, I accidentally bought the wrong one once and he didn't like it.

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R.S.

answers from Seattle on

I got my son used to it by just giving it to him and letting him play with it and chew on it.

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A.J.

answers from Seattle on

My dentist suggested letting my daughter brush my teeth and then I would brush hers. My daughter loved brushing my teeth. She thought that was hilarious and it's how we got started with the tooth brush.

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A.C.

answers from Portland on

We've been wrestling w/ this issue too. However, what has been working (sort of, anyway) has been allowing our daughter to hold her toothbrush and try to brush them herself first. She mainly just sucks on the bristles, getting the mild taste of the kiddie toothpaste. Then I show her how I brush my teeth. She gets interested in that and tries to "help" me. While she is distracted w/ helping me I try to brush her teeth a bit better. Good luck!

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K.L.

answers from Eugene on

Let her brush yours too. Take turns or do it a the same time. Be careful though, little ones don't know not to cram the toothbrush down your throat. :)

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J.D.

answers from Seattle on

Hi S.,
You'll probably get a ton of good advice here. What helped with my 14 mo old was giving him his toothbrush while I brush my teeth and he likes to imitate me. I rinse his toothbrush often because he likes to suck on the water. After I brush then I brush his. It doesn't always go smoothly but I pretend to use his brush then he'll let me put it in his mouth, the whole time I'm singing a silly toothbrush song.

J.

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J.T.

answers from Portland on

S.,
I'm a dental hygienist & a mother to a 1yr old daughter. We started giving her a medium sized toothbrush right when she started teething at 6mo for her just to "gum" & "chew" on. Now, we've transitioned to a baby size (4-24mo old) size. She loves chewing on it & LOVES to try to "brush" MY teeth. However, (this will make you feel better)even though she will put it in her mouth & chew on it, she won't let ME brush her teeth :) - Thats OK! As long as you are still getting in there with a washcloth & she lets you look in her mouth, you're ok. If you are worried about still giving her a bottle before bed, follow it with a few swallows of plain water (to rinse the formula/milk sugars off her teeth). Please avoid anything with fluoride in it - especially if your giving her fluoride drops. There is a good reason, children's toothpastes DON'T contain it! I am of the "no INGESTED fluoride" approach. Fluoride is STILL an awsome way to prevent cavities, but TOPICALLY, not swallowed. So if your little one can't spit yet - I WOULDN'T USE A FLUORIDE TOOTHPASTE UNTIL SHE CAN.

Botttom line - try letting her use a toothbrush as a toy - let her play with it, chew on it, practice brushing on YOU, my daughter even scrubs grout, counters & the bathtub with it (I always disinfect it through the dishwasher after these episodes!) - but she will get used to the texture & general purpose of the thing - to clean! You can also try running the bristles under hot water to soften them - they won't hold the heat very long - so she won't get burned, but the bristles will be softer. You may have to do this every time as they will stiffen up after being out in the cold for a while.

That's about everything I tell my patients having the same issues...just try to make it fun and interesting for her...kiddos don't like boring :)

Hope that helps! and Good Luck!

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D.C.

answers from Seattle on

have you tryed the finger toothbrushes? they come with training toothpaste. my son loved that one cause i would massage his teethe that were breaking thru and it helped. Try it if you haven't cause it is a good way to transition.

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C.T.

answers from Seattle on

Try just given her the toothbrush and letting her chew on it. Still wipe out her mouth until she gets use to the brush. Another thing that helped me with my two is starting them off with a toothpaste without fluoride. That way they could swallow it. My kids get excite to brush their teeth now. My son is now four and has moved up to fluoride paste now that he knows not to swallow it. Like I said this worked for my kids.

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K.T.

answers from Portland on

Give her the tooth brush and let her "fake it" also you can try brushing together. -Washington

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K.K.

answers from Portland on

Hi S.,

I can relate to you. My 27mo old refuses to allow me to brush his teeth. I just bring him in the bathroom at bedtime and watches my husband and I brush our teeth with the electric toothbrush. I then tell him it is his turn n use his electric toothbrush to brush his teeth n it sometimes works. It helps for him to see us do it first. Good luck.

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S.P.

answers from Spokane on

13 months may be a little young for this, but I let my kids brush my teeth while I brushed theirs. It's a distraction, and they automatically open their mouth when you open yours to let the toothbrush in. Also make sure that their toothbrush has favorite character on it. Good luck.

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K.M.

answers from Seattle on

Hi...we had the same problem and my daughter wouldn't let anything in her mouth, not even washclothes. We tried letting her do it, and tried to force her (suggested by our dentist and pediatrician!). Neither of these worked very well, and we only tried the forcing once or twice as I was really afraid it would make her hate it. Then we tried modeling, where we would both brush our teeth and let her watch. She seemed interested but was still resistant. We often would say "Do you want Daddy or Mommy to help you brush your teeth" thereby giving her a choice. She would usually pick Daddy and he would try. This was of limited success, but it did seem like progress. We also tried letting her watch in a mirror to see what we were doing. She actually let the toothbrush go in her mouth at that point. Then about a month ago (she's 20 months), she seemed to turn a corner and be able to do it better, and accept a little help. So, I think you just need to wait and keep trying, but gently. Perhaps try the modeling and just leave it low stress...I think eventually they will acquire the motor skills and brain power to understand and do it better themselves and then it gets better! Good luck!

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C.M.

answers from Seattle on

I took my daughter to pick out her tooth brush. I let her watch me brush my teeth, then she mimics. Of course I still have to go in a brush them again, but she gets to rinse off the tooth brush when I'm done

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C.S.

answers from Medford on

I haven't read all the other responses, so sorry if this is duplicate advice...

My 2 year old has gone through phases of clamping his mouth shut and not letting me in at all. One day I noticed he was interested in my battery operated toothbrush, so I got him a little Pooh one and that helped for a while. Now I sing the ABC's to him, I had to promise that as soon as the song was over I would stop brushing. I think this helps him know it won't last very long. Also, he likes to hold a toothbrush and brush at the same time, and I hold him leaning back in my arms while I do it, but not lying down so he doesn't choke on the toothpaste. Good luck!

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

If the texture is too much for her, you might get some of those little "sponge on a stick" tooth cleaners. I've seen them several places, so they might be quite common if you ask around.

I'd avoid anything that contains flouride for a child so young, though. It's not intended to be swallowed.

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L.R.

answers from Seattle on

have you tried the toddler toothpaste? that really helped us. although she still screams and kicks... sometimes i try singing to her. let her see mommy and daddy brush their teeth.

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