My 10Yr Old Won't Sleep Alone!

he use to sleep on the floor with you both was he scared of u2 fighting?

does he have his own room or with his sister>

sleep walking can be serious, talk to pediatrician.

Maybe go see therapist for him to work out his nightmares

Maybe he is just really needing to be with you since the separation. This is a tough O.. Can you manage to get him back into his bed after he falls asleep? If so, I'd keep carrying him back. Maybe tell him that if he promises to stay in his own bed, you'll promise to "check on him" several times through the night and that you're only a room away of he needs you, just call you. Sorry I can't offer more help--this is really a dilemma.

It would seem that your son is suffering from some type of anxiety. Where you and your husband having big difficulties during the time that your son started to sleep on the floor beside the bed? Your child did this to get a sense of security/stability. Your child sensed that all was not right and felt better if he could wake up seeing the two of you together, which made him feel secure. Now that you are no longer together with your husband, you son sleeps in your bed or on the floor to make sure that you do not abandon/disappear at night as well. Your son is feeling very insecure (and could blame himself) about you and your husband's separation...and unsure of the love that both of you feel for him. It may be a good idea to have your soon see a psychologist/social worker that specializes in the effects of divorce/separation of parents, that person can help your child (and give you suggestions to try and do at home) work through all of the feelings he is so hard trying to hide. I think you want what is best for your child, I did too when I went through something similar. {hugs} Things will get better, just keep moving and improving. Do not ever stop..especially loving. Hope this helps..

Hi! When my oldest was younger, we couldn't get him out of our bed. Finally, I broke down and allowed our dog to sleep up on the bed with him. I was NOT crazy about having the dog up on the bed, but I placed a blanket down for her to cover up the bedding, and my son just loved it. He felt secure and I think the dog did too! It worked like a charm! If you don't have a dog, maybe getting one would be a great way to get him into his own bed and also give him a companion to take care of. Hope this helps!

Was just chuckling and remembering my wasband and his sleep walking. He was famous for it.

Should have been a warning, he used to turn left instead of right and his brother would wake up to find him trying to pee on his bed.

We actually looked for places to live that didn't have a left or right option for the bathroom. lol

He would take all the clocks in the house and hide them. Or he unscrewed all the switches in the lamps and put them in the fridge once. He'd get dressed then go sleep in the car for work.

First time I saw him, wasn't sleepwalking, but...we were to sing at the Meyerhoff with the Balto Symphony. He was downstairs asleep standing up. snoring. Orchestra members are walking around playing. snoring.

A tuba player came up behind him and blasted, I mean BLASTED. He didn't flinch.

A friend walked up later said, "Dave, time to go." and he woke up.

Here's yer sign....

P.

I slept with my mother after my parents divorced until I was a little more than 11yo. It didn't harm me. In fact, it created a wonderful bond between me and my mother. So, truthfully, he is not really too old to be there, it's just beyond your comfort level. I think that if there are psychological or behavioural issues beyond that, a good psychologist might be in order. Divorce is so hard for children to deal with, I'm not sure parents realize the trauma it causes, even under the best of circumstances.
If I were in your position I would find a good therapist for my son and learn to deal with the co-sleeping for now until he can sleep on his own. I do have my own boundaries regarding this, and probably wouldn't allow a teenager to sleep in my bed regularly, so I do think there IS an age limit for allowing this. But he's still a child dealing with his issues in a child-like manner, and he needs your help to find his way through. Please don't punish him for looking for the love and comfort, and feeling of safety, he obviously finds sleeping with you at night. I so clearly remember how afraid and lonely I felt, I would have cried myself to sleep every night if my mother had forced me out before I was ready.

my daughter was the same way. She would wake up every 2 hours or so and crawl into bed with us. I broke down and got her a TV in her room. I do have some rules, no cartoon network, no Nickelodeon or Disney. She has to have the food Network or something like that. She can leave it on all night. She hasn't visited my bed since.

Good Luck!

i came up with the brilliant idea one night of bedroom time. my son would not go to sleep but i think his major problem was that his bedroom faces the back of the house towards the woods. so i told him that he did not have to go to sleep but he had to play quietly in his room alone. he was only 5 at the time and scared of the dark window. that seemed a reasonable comprimise to him since he didnt have to close his eyes and his main light was on. at first he was playing for an hour or more but within a week he was falling asleep on the floor while playing within a half hour. i know the floor isnt the best place for a good nights sleep but after that i started limiting the bedroom time to 45 mins then a half hour. so after he was comfortable and feeling safe knowing he was sleeping peacefully, i would tell him after playtime to crawl in bed. (after i turned his bed so he couldnt see out the window of course) he became used to sleeping in his room and within a month or so i had him sleeping by 9 every night and waking rested and ready to start his school year.

Don't pressure him. If I understand you correctly, daddy disappeared...now he is concerned about losing you, too.

Such separations are like (sometimes worse than ) a divorce.

KayMarie

Hi S.. If sleeping with you has been going on for years it is going to take a little time to move your son into his own room. Change takes time. Now that being said, how to have him want to sleep in his own room.... Talk to your son and ask him what would make his room more inviting and comfortable ( not safe or less scary. We dont want to say that it is scary to sleep in your room alone because that will just reinforce his feelings of fear. "If mommy thinks sleeping alone is scary then it must be.")Talk to him. Why does he want to sleep with you? Maybe he needs a night light, a "cooler" bed, superhero sheets, music..... Next have him sleep in his room and you sit with him. Make before bedtime special, books, songs, a movie... If things still persist he may need to talk to a therapist. He may have anxieties that need to be addressed.

If you have any other questions on this or any other topic feel free to stop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com.

Joyful Parenting,

B. Davis
Child and Family Coach

If he doesn't have allergies, get him a kitten and let the kitten sleep in his room with him.

Don't pressure him. If I understand you correctly, daddy disappeared...now he is concerned about losing you, too.

Such separations are like (sometimes worse than ) a divorce.

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Totally agree!

I am a widow with 3 children and two co-sleep with me and it has helped them adjust to tragically loosing Bill.

My older dd also slept with us for a year. 4 people and a cat, all in two twin pushed together for a king.

She at her own paced settled back into her room. My sons are doing great and we still sleep together.

you son will move into his own space when he no longer feels the abandonment or fear of additional loss.

Other cultures co sleep all the time.