Mothers of TWINS!!!! Please Help!

Hi J.,

Give yourself a break- You are not cheating!

There are healthy kids who are breast fed and healthy kids who are formula fed.

What good will you be to your kids if you are insanely (spelling?) tired or just so stressed out you are not really engaged with them?

Don't fret, do what you can when you can. Breast or Formual your kids will be healthy.

I have two children and I started breast feeding with my first and his blood sugar was dropping dangerously low- I opted to abandon the breast feeding for his safety and his health. At that point I didn't care what I wanted, I wanted what was best for him and the situation.

With baby number two I went straight to formula- You know what? He is a thriving 15 month old!

You will be okay, just do what you can- Lots of women combine both feeding methods. Don't feel guilty. It's a lot of work with one baby- You are taking care of TWO!

Hang in there- You know that first year is rough and then it starts to get a little easier.

What a blessing to have twins! My last pregnancy I was pregnant with two and lost one 4 months into the pregnancy- Hang in there- Those gorgeous boys will thrive no matter which way you go or if you combo feed them.

Take care,
MV

You are in the middle of one of the absolute hardest things any mom can do. I have a similar family setup. My oldest son was almost 4 when my now 3 year old twins were born. I consider myself to have breastfed "nearly exclusively." I was never able to fit pumping into my schedule regularly. I don't think there's much, if any, truth to the idea that formula makes them sleep longer, but the bottom line with twins is that you have to do what you need to do to survive TODAY. Every day is going to be a little different and you can't guilt trip yourself over what it took to get through the day. Trying to find a way to make time for yourself will make you a more calm, rested mom, will help you maintain your supply (which is easily affected by stress and lack of sleep) and will maintain what little sanity is possible during the first year of your babies' lives. If you can at all swing it, try and see if you can get someone to come in a couple of nights a week to let you sleep through at least one or two feedings. That made a huge difference to me and I think would for you as well, since you say you're not getting to sleep during the day. Hang in there. I've always said that twins are as much more fun as they are more work. That's not easy to see when they're as little as yours are now, but it is true. If you live in the city, there's a fantastic group of twin moms that do a nursing multiples support group. I loved it when mine were little and am still connected to some of the moms who attended with me. I believe they meet at the store Be Bye Baby in Lincoln Square. Good luck and feel free to email. You will get through, I promise. I ended up nursing till my guys self-weaned at about 30 months...yes, I'm nuts.

It is true that the stomach doesn't direct sleep. think about it, do you ever wake up because you're hungry? I wake up and then being hungry might make it hard to go back to sleep, but it's never the cause. Sleep has more to do with brain development. I highly recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits; Happy Child. You'll still have to kind of tough it out for the next two months but after that you can really start regulating their sleep and it get a *lot* easier although if they wake each other up, you might need to have them nap in different rooms, we had a bassinet in my room for naps, but it was never a problem for us at night.
As far as the formula, if it's working for you and you feel it helps, don't feel guilty. The first two weeks of nursing any child is always the hardest. After that they get better and can manage more on their own. At a month you could be tandem nursing and that makes it a lot easier. I was upset that I couldn't tandem at a week and my lactation lady told me I was crazy, most moms who tandem wait until the babies are about a month :) You might give that a try now that they're older and see if it makes a difference. Hang in there, it really does get better, and twins are a joy.

No mom should feel guilty about supplementing with formula, but the problem with supplementing all night is that you are going to short-change your milk supply. I can't remember all of the medical details but there are hormonal reasons you want to have an overnight feeding or two to keep your supply up. Pumping isn't as good. And if you aren't pumping or feeding for almost 12 hours when they're only a month old, you can't keep up with their appetites during the day either, for much longer. Which is fine if it's a choice you make - how many moms of twins breastfeed at all?

I don't think giving formula at night guarantees they will sleep all night at this age. You must be exhausted! I'm not sure how people do it without losing their sanity. The parents of twins I know seem to have PTSD memories about those early days.

Remember that keeping you together is the best thing you can do for them. You need to let the chores go and nap with them. You have newborn twins and it's ridiculous to think you can do ANYTHING else except care for them and give some cuddling to your older child.

Hi J.,
First, Congratulations!!!! I know people have already told you this, but it does get easier as time goes on!! The first few months with twins are very hard, you are trying to meet their needs and have NO time for yourself, and you are very sleep deprived. It is very difficult to breast feed them both, I hung in there for about 6 weeks before I couldn't do it anymore. DO NOT feel guilty about whatever choice you make, you are their mom and you know what's best for them and for your family! I wish I could have breast fed them longer, I just wasn't producing enough, and I felt very guilty about it! If you can pump, go for it and store your breast milk, that way they still get the benefit of breast milk and they get used to the bottle and anyone can feed them. I also gave the twins formula once or twice a day just to get a break and to make sure they were getting enough to eat. Please try not to put any added pressure on yourself, it is not easy to take care of two babies with not much help during the day. Whatever you do, try to get out and get some alone time, even if it's just to the grocery store, that really helped me get through those first few months. Good luck, hang in there!!

I don't have twins but I do have 2 kids. For the first, I stayed home for 10 months, and let me tell you it was really hard to pump - I didn't have the time. And it was very difficult for me and I had a lot of problems breastfeading the 1st time. And I even had to pump because my son only ate from one breast. Also, I only breast fed for 4 months with my first.

For my second child I returned to work after 3 months but I breast fed for 9. I managed to pump only at work.

I think being a SAHM is really hard! So I admire what ever you could do.

L.

You need to do what is best for your family. There is nothing wrong with giving your baby formula. My first daughter I nursed until she was 6 months. My second daughter I nursed until she was barely 3 months old. She was born over 10lbs and I never seemed to have enough milk for her. I would nurse her and then she still would drink a bottle of formula. I always said it was like nursing twins!! I never felt quilty about switiching to formula because I felt it was what was best for everyone and that is all you can do as a parent. By the way she is now 16 years old and still eats more then anyone I have ever seen!! Must take after her father.
Everyone needs a little time for themselves and a little break now and then. With summer coming maybe you can find a high school girl to come over a couple days a week to help out, just so you can have time to breath. It will get easier, it just takes time.

It would seem to me that nursing them both at the same time (if that's still hard, get a Lactation Consultant to come to your home and help you do that) would be the *least* time consuming way to feed them -- and the most relaxing for you!

The other thing I would recommend is working h*** o* their sleep. I would HIGHLY recommend the "Miracle Blanket" swaddling blanket -- it seriously worked miracles for my second baby, and I bought it for my cousin who just had twin boys, and she said the same thing. Order them on amazon (fewer color choices but cheaper than on the manufacturer's site).

Also, I am sure you have your 7 year old helping with the chores. Just make a list of what needs to be done every week, post it, and ask your son and husband to do at least one or two a night. You can still do what you can during the day, but this way you know which end is up, and so do they!

Just take one day at a time, know that what you're doing is hard but not impossible, and when you can't take it any more, give them each a kiss =)

T.

I haven't been there but my aunt was a stay at home mom of twins. I know that she breast and bottle fed (I think all breast milk). In any case she would have both of the babies nursing at once and sleeping at the same time. I know this won't work every day, but if you can get them on the same schedule it should help your schedule. Another thing, you've got twin breastfed babies, let someone else do the chores for a while. Even if it does only happen during the evening.

Lot's of great advice! When I had my twins, I really wanted to breatfeed, but it just didn't happen. I was going to lose my sanity, it was so difficult. I did pump for 7 months and I feel that it is just as good. They are still getting that all important breastmilk. I did have to supplement with formula every day, but they are the healthiest 4 year olds ever. Not even one ear infection! You have to do what is best for your situation. I do recommend that you pump on a regular schedule, even at night. I had to have the kids on a sleeping schedule, or I would lose my mind ( I also had a 5 year old at home). Usually one twin was more demanding, so he(of course the boy) set the nap schedule and I had the other twin follow that schedule. That way they were always napping at the same time. That was a must! But I do feel it is important to try to fit in that 15 minutes of pumping right after the feeding. Sometimes I would sit on the floor with them laying in front of me awake and I would pump and sing to them or make faces, they thought it was great and you CAN do two things at once. Good luck! It really does get easier!