My daughters are 21 months apart, and the youngest will be 2 weeks old this coming tuesday. My husband is deployed, so I am on my own in regards to childcare and household tasks for the time being. My toddler is handling the new baby really well, and seems to like her role as big sister, but I would love some ideas for some of the rough patches I am hitting.
My biggest issue is breastfeeding on the move. I pumped milk for my oldest for a year because of her latching issues, so breastfeeding is actually a whole new skill for me. We are doing well when I can sit still and nurse, but my baby wants to have these extended feeding sessions (she can go back and forth between sides for several hours of productive nursing) and that makes it hard for me to meet my toddler's needs. I don't want to cut the baby off as she is growing fast and I know she needs the nutrition, so I need to get mobile while feeding. I am hoping someone can recommend a carrier or sling that works well with breastfeeding. I am also pretty large chested (an M cup at the moment) so I don't know if that will effect what carrier or sling will work well for me. Any ideas?
My other big issue is getting the energy out of my toddler :) Pre-baby, we would go to the park or on a walk every morning and go swimming after nap time every day. Both she and I love being active, so it worked well for us. However, it is pretty cold and rainy (most days are mid 40s and rainy here) to have a newborn out side for a couple hours at a stretch and while my doctor cleared me to hit the pool at 2 weeks post-partum I do not think the newborn will beable to maintain her body temp well enough for the pool for a couple months. We live in an apartment, so we don't have much space for really active play indoors. My toddler is getting cabin fever in a bad way!! Any ideas??
Any words of wisdom or suggestions are appreciated!!
Thanks Ladies!
I think a ring sling may help you. I advise caution though since you state you are large chested and there were a few problems with infants getting smothered in slings when asleep. Do you have a local chapter of La Leche League? The leaders and moms there would have invaluable advice for you! Good luck!
I agree with Grandma T's find ways to exercise your older girl in the house, theres a video game where the toddler/preschooler has to pedal to make it work, we have a froggy video game for play station where they have to stomp or jump on the different shapes, and I always kept a small climbing, sliding, tunnel center in the house, takes up room but its worth it, or if space is an issue there are collapsible, tunnels and playhouses. Try to find a mom with another two yr old and switch off babysitting so sometimes she has a playmate and sometimes you have time with just your infant. Enjoy your little ones!
Put on exercise vids on the tv and work her out that way :) I could nurse and walk just holding the baby. 2 hour sessions sounds really extreme tho, I think she is using you as a pacifier, I think you should rectify that. Can't help ya with the slings, they werent invented yet when I have my babies.
I'd definitely shorten her feeding sessions tho, she is only 2 weeks old and they usually only nurse a few minutes for total nutrition, they have teeny weeny tummies :)
My boys are 20 months apart. Some survival tactics for all of us, and answers to your questions:
I never used a sling to breastfeed with (I never figured out how that would work) but I developed some pretty good arm muscles and just learned to clutch the baby really well and breastfeeding while moving around--I can even mop a floor breastfeeding. :) (They didn't think it would qualify for the church talent show, though.)
Any chance you get--even if the weather is overcast and a bit yucky, toss rain boots on your toddler and get out with the sling. If you have a double stroller, or a regular stroller and the sling, that has a decent cover on it to block a light drizzle, get out for the fresh air (just keep your head covered, too). Once you're cleared to start exercising again, find some fun workouts you can do with minimal equipment in your living room. We have very little indoor space, but my older boy LOVED to exercise with mommy and used to even watch the workouts when I wasn't doing them and try to follow them himself.
If your toddler has a special doll, encourage her to take care of her baby while you are taking care of your baby (feed, change, burp, snuggle, etc.) then snuggle your toddler when you're finished caring for the baby.
It was a little (or maybe a lot) bumpy at first with them so close together, but it got better and now my 4-year-old and 2 1/2-year-old are happily waiting for their new baby brother (5 more weeks???). See if you can find any other moms with children their ages in your area to meet up with--even a change of living room can be a big help!
First of all, go you! I can't imagine being nearly that put together with two that close together and a deployed husband. Pat yourself on the back!
Secondly, do you have a mall near you? I know it's depressing to run around a mall, but there's so much to see and elevators to ride etc etc that might help your little one get some energy out and still stay warm.
Finally, I don't know what your pool is like, but hopefully your little one is still sleeping quite a bit. You might be able to leave her in her carseat all wrapped up and snuggly while you and your daughter take a dip. Of course, you would have to warn your toddler beforehand that the swim session might get cut short. I bet if you wrap her up good the baby will be fine for a walk, though. Especially if she's in a carrier all snuggled up with you.
Good luck!
My older 2 girls are 20 months apart. I had my second in May, so we were able to just get out in the backyard and play for a few hours in the mornings.
When I was nursing my baby, I would read to my toddler. She liked to snuggle while I was nursing, and at least this way we were doing something together. Or, I'd set her up with crayons near me, or blocks.
My best advice to you would be to carve out an hour a day and take a walk. Put the baby in a sling or stroller and just go. Let your toddler splash in puddles or snow or whatever. Let her stop and pick up that fascinating rock or stick. Make it about fun and leisure and don't stress about getting dirty or wet or not getting home 'on time'. Kids really pick up on it if you're trying to rush their fun.
As for your baby's marathon feeding sessions, my first was the same way. That was just how she liked to be comforted. At 2 weeks old I'd let her. She likely won't be nursing like this for too long. If you DO want to shorten her sessions though, don't remove her from the breast until she's finished - that means she's not swallowing anymore. You can tell a eating suck from a pacifying suck because the eating sucks will be longer draws followed by a swallow every 2 or 3 sucks. A pacifying suck is more like a baby sucking on a pacifier - shorter and quicker sucks.
If you want to introduce a pacifier, I'd wait till baby is 4-6 weeks old to avoid nipple confusion. Though, if breastfeeding is going well babies know where their food comes from :)
I was pretty mueh in your situation last year. There is light at the end.
I didn't breastfeed with baby in carrier (maybe once I did w/ moby) the moby was a great carrier to keep hands free for toddler.
Find activities or books your toddler can do on the couch next to you while nursing. Tag junio worked for awhile. She still prefers you to read, but it gave some independance.
Take advantage of some of the free daycare at CDC on base. You need some downtime since you don't get any when daddy comes home at night. Even a few hours w/o one or both kds means you can read or get some errands done quicker. plus your toddler needs time with other kids. We did lotsof activities w/ other families so you had an extra set of eyes or hands when needed.
Active play in an apt is nearly impossible so we got out of the house daily. Mall play area. YMCA, even grocery shopping or library can be fun excursions if done with patience.
Can't help on the sling and feeding on the run. With my fourth (the only
one I breastfed) I just sat and made sure the others who were all very
young had something to keep them busy. As the baby gets older, the
nursing sessions will be much sorter. As far as getting out, if there is a
mall, just go there and walk around. Are there any little indoor gyms around
by you that are not too expensive. When the weather is miserable you
have to get creative. When the sun shines, even if it is cold get out.
Congratulations.
my dd was the same way and her pedi said that the first 20 min of feeding was when she got all of the good stuff. so figure about 40 total for both breasts have you tried a dink? my dd is very oral and loved her dink which was a boob saver she was not hungery just wanted comfort. give that a try. two weeks is still early to fall into a feeding cycle. but give it time you will find your barrings. as for getting the energy out of your lo try a child excersice video also do you have a local "Y" that you can join many have classes that are geared toward lo to get them moving and they are weekly. gl it will get eaiser.
You should get a moby wrap. It's great for breastfeeding on the go because you can tie it up multiple ways. Also, it is good for being out and about because the baby gets your body heat and you can throw a large jacket over the both of you and zip it up. There is a bit of a learning curve, I had to practice wrapping it a bit but once I got the hang of it I LOVED it. The only thing, it can get hot in the summer months so wear a light tank under it.
I only have one child - so I'll answer with only one suggestion for indoor activity. We bought kiddo a trampoline with a "handlebar", so he can hold on with both hands while he jumps and runs in place. It wasn't cheap, but it has been worth every penny. Wo bought ours online from onestepahead.com.
http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId...
Oh - one other idea - a play tent and tunnel that pop up and then folded up when finished. Ours collapses down into a circle about 20" by 1" and slides under the bed or the couch.
don't use a pacifier, they're not good for many reasons. good for you for nursing as long as she needs (but you could experiment with taking her off after you think she's had a good fill, and she how she is with a change of scenery or something else). i'd try a few different slings, find a store or la leche league leader that has a few options to try. wraps are good, or a sling might work better for you, or an ergo with an infant insert. or like the other person said just get good at holding baby and nursing while walking etc. (that's what i did). and good for you that you want to get outside! unless it's way below freezing or pouring really hard, being outside is the best thing for all of you, especially if baby is snuggled up close to you. as for the pool it depends on how cold it is, maybe baby would be ok for a short swim if it's not too cold. there also may be indoor playgrounds you could go to when the weather is really bad, but i think nature is really the best playground of all!
I have seen videos on youtube for breastfeeding with a moby wrap--i've never tried it, but will as my second is on it's way and first baby is only 5 months!! this kind of wrap would be good as it's adjustable. i'm sure like anything would take some practice, but i'm sure you could get it down!
my baby also wanted to "eat" every 30-45 min for long periods, but realized she just need to suck....we were both very happy after implementing a pacifier. she doesn't have any trouble breastfeeding. i wouldn't worry about "nipple confusion".... as time as gone by she now mostly uses it to go to sleep with or if she's sick.
