Losing the Weight

Updated on June 02, 2016
A.C. asks from New York, NY
22 answers

I'm 33 and have a beautiful baby boy. It's my first child and I feel blessed every second of my life for him and his father who is a great husband and dad- Very helpful, patient, and supportive. So what's my problem? I am insecure. Prior to the pregnancy I had abs, biceps and tris. I was able to do pushups in all types of fashions from upside down to using weights on my back... I didn't have any stretch marks and the thirty extra pounds. So I am insecure. I know my husband loves me for more than the physical but it's me. Mentally and physically I am not where I was in terms of my weight and I truly believe it's all worth it but I am wondering how long it will take at least for my tummy to get low? I still look about 2-3 months pregnant. It helps if I need to use a public restroom or go out to dinner or need a seat on the subway... ha ha ha - but it's not a feel good tummy... anyone been there? and what did you do? I am starting to work out a bit and have been walking since it's been nice out!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for the responses. All are helpful and I was taking notes as I read them and breast fed my son. Nothing has happened as of yet.. but i do want to update some info that was unclear. My son is 2 months old. I am definitely breast feeding but I am using formula as well. Natural birth! I am seeing some changes on the scale. But I prefer to go by my waist and thighs... Ha Ha. Also, I know what foods I should be eating and I don't eat beef or pork.No McDonald's or Wendy's...no fried foods..if i do it's limited.- very little turkey or chicken... love salmon and shrimp and salads... and pizza is always good. LOVE LOVE LOVE chocolate....but I don't overdo it. I was proud of myself for turning someone down when they offered me cookies the other day. (they weren't thin mints.. ha ha ) But I do know what to eat for myself and more importantly for my child's nutrition. Like I said before I also don't have much stress.. I have a fantastic circle of support between my mom, sister(who just lost her baby after carrying for eight months), and my husband. They are all very helpful and available for help and they all constantly remind me that I will be fine. My husband who can often be brutally honest even told me that I do in fact look like I have lost weight.. but we all know it's how we feel and what we think that matters most! Thanks again- look forward to updating you on what works and how it helps! And the food journal- I have started a million times- gotta stick to it! Oh and weight watchers! Have the books and the point counter for food and exercise- Excellent program- but with weight watchers and the food journal you must stay on point! Just started back to work as well- so I am juggling a little! I knew I could multi task but now I think I deserve an award for how many things I can accomplish simultaneously!

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C.B.

answers from New York on

Hi A.,
I recently learned about a new exercise method call T-Tapp. It's for anyone who wants to loose inches and tighten their muscles. Met a women who lost 2 dress sizes after her baby was born doing these 6 days a week.
Go to www.T-Tapp.com

C.

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P.C.

answers from New York on

Hang in there my dear, you were in great shape prior to pregnancy and you are still young so start out slowly and you will get back to your ol` self again. The tummy may not go back as fast as you'd like it to, but it took 9 months of stretching so it is not going to go back that quickly. I became pregnant in April 2007, I was the size of a pregnat woman with triplets b/c of huge uterine fibroids. I had a c-section also. I was still huge after I had my daughter and looked like I was having twins!! Between the swelling from the surgery and the huge sizes of my fibroids, I just hated the way I looked and I really didn't like wearing maternity clothes a whole year after I had her!! I got depressed a little about myself even though I knew I couldn't do much about it all. But then I started to not watch what I was eating b/c I felt defeated before I started! Here I was with my daughter at 15 months and I was still the weight I was after I had just had her. Well, I started Nutrisystem and in just 5 weeks, I am down 18 lbs. I am fitting in my old clothes and I feel like I have so much more energy. All my friends told me that it would take 1-2 years before everything got back to normal. There is a tremendous amount of healing that goes on in your body...c-section or not!
I think you are in the right place now to get back to your pre-pregnacy body, but remember that your hips are now turned out from carrying your baby and that does not change with any exercising. Your jeans may not fit you exactly the way they did before, but you will still be amazing...Just be patient with yourself. I am not sure how long it has been since you had your baby, but little bit at a time and it will all work out!!
Hang in there!
P.

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A.N.

answers from New York on

A.,
I know exactly how you feel. The other day, the guy working the register at Cosi offered me a free drink "for my little one"...He was pointing to my belly! (I didn't have the baby with me).

It's awful to feel so crappy about yourself. I too am a first time mom to a two month old girl. Do NOT feel bad! I am 5'1", 37 years old. I was a size ZERO before, and gained 70 pounds! I still have 30 pounds to lose and, other than taking her for walks, I cannot put her down yet to have even 10 minutes to exercise. I am extremely careful about every bite I eat now and am breastfeeding (which does not seem to be helping with the weight as much as I thought it would). Still cannot fit into one single piece of clothing that I have in my closet...BEST of luck to you. I completely understand and get it.

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S.T.

answers from Albany on

We all have been through that with few who go right back to being skinny again. I am working out and I know about gaining weight and wanting to get it off. I am seeing the change now after having a miscarriage. I am seeing a lotof weight baecause I do need to get the rest of this weight off before getting pregnant again and they say however you worked out before pregnancy, you can do the same amount (watching your pulse rate though) during pregnancy. It's hard because at the point in the beginning you have morning sickness and you're so tired, and a whole 9 yards! Start off slow and work your way up as in the past and know that you need the rest of your energy for you baby and CONGRATULATIONS on your baby. How sweet and I love being a mother and the job is a HUGE responsibility and God has sure trusted you to care for this precious GIFT!! Anymore questions let us know or me and we'll share our experiences.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi A.,
Congrats on your baby! I disagree with the previous poster, postpartum depression is a serious disorder and you've said nothing that would make me think ppd, just the normal post-baby body insecurity that 99% of moms have. You didn't mention how old your baby is or what you're doing to take any of the weight off, or how much extra weight you are actually carrying. Is the 30 pounds what you have left, or what you gained total in the pregnancy? Are you breastfeeding? Breastfeeding tends to make the weight come off faster, but it also limits your choices in terms of dieting. There is no set amount of time about how soon the weight comes off, it depends on what you gained, whether you're breastfeeding, what your patterns of diet and exercise are now. If you put on a lot of extra weight above what your body needed, it won't just disappear on its own, you will need to diet and exercise to take it off. Your baby and all of the pregnancy structures only weight about 25 pounds, so whatever is over that is fat stores.
Also, you didn't mention what type of birth you had. If you had a cesarean, you will likely always have a "pooch" at your belly.
If you are six weeks or more postpartum, you can start exercising (maybe 8 weeks if surgical birth). The weight won't just come off on its own, you're going to need to make an effort. Good luck and in the meantime, be sure to invest in a few great outfits in the size that you are now. Don't dress in your maternity clothes or dumpy sweats, even if you don't hope to be this size 6 months from now. Make yourself look good in the body that you've got now.
Take care!

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T.E.

answers from Boston on

I was looking for a natural weight loss method to get rid of baby weight and tummy bulge. Mummy magic weight loss tea did help and I met my target just in two months.

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T.W.

answers from New York on

CONGRATULATIONS! I also do not think you have ppd, you would be unhappy and thing EVERYTHING was unmanageable. How old is the baby....I know it's hard to hear, but for MOST people the belly takes some time to "deflate" on it's own. Don't forget, it took 9 months for your body to stretch, it is not going to go back overnight as much as we wish they would. I started doing my yoga/pilates which is a ton of core strengthening stuff. I gained 65 lbs with my last and was still carrying 12 from my first, so I still have a good 20-25 lbs to get pre-first child weight which may never happen. Pretty soon even if you aren't exactly where you want to be, you will at least start to feel comfortable with yourself which will be a mood and energy booster. And give yourself a break! As a new mom you are most likely sleep deprived and eat what you can when you can-things will get better and you will be able to focus a little more on you soon!

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L.D.

answers from Albany on

A., how old is your baby? If he's a newborn, your tummy is normal and once he is about 6 weeks old you can step up the aerobics if you want.

I feel you because I am struggling with it after my third and he's already 21 months old. Living here in NY though, the winters are kinda long and depressing I am finding which is making it hard for me to get the motivation to work out. It's also hard for me to remember to eat and drink when I should which I know is a problem. I do better when I write down what I eat and drink and I just got the Wii Fit which I LOVE!!! It makes sticking to the work out easier on days like today when it's raining. I also do a Pilates DVD and walk 2 miles when the weather is nice. I don't do ALL of this every day but I am trying to do at least 2 of the 3 Monday through Friday.

You'll get there. This is your first and everything is changing. Your body also has to readjust itself now that there isn't a little person pushing your organs into locations they don't belong in. :)

Congrats on your baby and here's wishing success for those 30 lbs for both you and me!! :) (30 is what I need to lose as well.)

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K.P.

answers from New York on

I'm in the same boat. My son will turn 1 at the end of this week and I still have 10 pounds that I need to get off! I too was very in shape (aerobics instructor for years) before getting pregnant and now feel like I have a "soft" look that I don't like.

I have started to find success by doing the following:
- Keeping a food journal. I have found that I eat on the "fly" at work, which results in me snacking all day rather than sitting down to eat. I started writing it all down and have begun to eat in a more balanced manner.
- Going for short and frequent walks- during my lunch hour, right after I get home, taking the stairs rather than calling the main office, etc.
- My cable company (Cablevision) is crappy, but its one redeeming quality is that they offer free fitness classess On-Demand. After the baby goes to bed at night (at least 2-3 times per week) I do an On-Demand fitness class. It's free, it's in my home and I can pause it if needed.

How old is your child? Rememer that is took almost 10 months to gain the weight and it will take about a year to take it off. Good luck-

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T.P.

answers from New York on

Hi A.,

Everyone is different when it comes to post-baby weight. I have friends who lost it doing nothing and others who just keep on gaining...there must to be a happy medium in there somewhere...if only we could find it! LOL
Are you currently doing any type of exercise regimen? I know exactly what you mean about this extra weight not being so much about the way you look from a physical standpoint, but rather the way you feel overall. Are you currently doing any type of fitness regimen?
I am a certified personal fitness trainer and would be happy to do a complimentary assessment, and design a program that according to your specific goals.If you are interested in learning more about my services please do not hesitate to contact me. My email is ____@____.com of Luck to you and congratulations on your new baby!

T.

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J.D.

answers from New York on

You're not insecure! Theres nothing wrong with wanting to look and feel good phsyically - especially if thats what you are used to - so don't apologize or make excuses for wanting that. I hate when people look at me like I'm crazy b/c I want to be in better shape (like pre pregnancy) or lose those 5 - 7 pounds that I just can't seem to keep off -its b/c I know when I look and feel good and 5 pounds might seeem like nothing to one person but it is to me - and flabby vs toned is a BIG difference too...so I just wanted to assure you its ok - I got a bit angry when I read you were insecure b/c you're NOT! LOL!!!! Credit to you for wanting to look and feel good and take care of yourself physically and mentally! Look online for these tummy exercises - I can't really explain them but I read it in fit pregnancy - basically you are sucking in your stomach while laying flat on your back - its suppose to really strenghthen the lower ab muscles that get really stretched during pregnancy and they help to flatten the "mommy" belly...I tried doing them in addition to the healthy diet and other exercise and I can actaully feel the muscles being worked in the area that I want flatter...

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S.C.

answers from New York on

A. --
A.,

You didn't mention how old your baby is but simply from the way you put things you sound like you're in the throes of post-partum depression. Having a baby completely turns your life upside-down; no matter how prepared you think you are, you're not. Dealing with an entirely new routine you haven't mastered yet, no time to enjoy the things you used to and roiling hormones...who wouldn't fall into a funk? You also seem to place your self-worth on your appearance. I applaud you for making the effort to be physically fit before your pregnancy, but please be sure you were doing it to be healthy and not just to look good.

I was in your shoes...avid exerciser before pregnancy, flabby and bloated after the baby and feeling miserable. What I did after the hormones finally settled down was make the baby part of my exercise routine. I took her for a lot of walks. When she could hold her head up I sat her on my belly for resistance as I did crunches (blow kisses at your baby as you come up...he'll love it). As she grew heavier I used her as weight for bicep curls. She loved it, I started feeling better and we got to bond.

Evaluate your diet as well; what you eat has as much an impact on your mood as it does on your body. When we're rushed we tend to eat on the run whatever is easily available -- and it's often not very nutritious. Keep fruit handy at all times so you reach for that instead of a candy bar or chips.

When you catch yourself feeling insecure about your body, be forgiving and remind yourself that you just had a baby. Your body had to grow to accommodate him. It took nine months for your body to get to where it is now and it'll take a while to get back to your pre-pregnancy body as well. And remind yourself that you are much more than simply your appearance. Be good to yourself. You're an exhausted new mom still trying to figure things out.

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S.H.

answers from Albany on

A.,

Everyone is different. The younger a mother is the faster her tummy goes back to normal. I've seen a 17 year old within a couple of days look like she never had a baby. Completely flat belly! I was 26 when I gave birth and within 6 weeks I was slim and trim but I also breastfed on demand which is what will get things back to normal quickly since hormones are released that causes the belly to contract. If you're bottle feeding you will need to do something else. If you're breastfeeding it will likely happen quickly so long as the baby didn't deplete you of some nutrients that you need.

There are ways to slim up without exercise. Using HGH precursors will build your muscle and trim down fat. It will take about a month before you start seeing results. Pregnancy saps us of many nutrients and we lose our HGH as we age anyway.

I've had a lot of issues with my weight in recent years due to an undiagnosed thryoid imbalance. I'm currently using the HGH precursors along with a natural mineral thyroid supplement and for the first time in years my weight is finally stable.

I've done some extreme dieting to lose 30 pounds but it would creep back sometimes a half a pound or a pound a day. This same diet works for virtually everyone but it didn't for me. Like you, I've always been fit and muscular. I can feel my muscle under a layer of fat and it's growing now. It's only been about 3 weeks on this routine and from others who are doing this, the results get better an better with time.

Weight loss is never a quick fix and spot reduction is a myth. You need to bring the entire body back into proper balance. It can take up to six months of regular exercise to get the metabolism and hormones stabilized again. Not exactly motivating, is it? If it were easy we wouldn't have the obesity epidemic we have now. Without proper nutrients we can't function and things change during pregnancy.

If you have questions, don't hesitate to email me.

S.
____@____.com

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B.C.

answers from New York on

Have you ever heard of Stroller Strides? They offer fitness classes for pre and postnatal women. I have been going for almost 2 years and love it. You bring your baby in the stroller and it is a total body workout. The classes are fun and you also get to meet other moms and your little one makes friends too. The website has a list of locations. www.strollerstrides.net
Good luck. We have certainly all been there :)

D.D.

answers from New York on

You'll get there. Just throw on your walking shoes, put your little darling in the stroller, and take a nice walk outside. Don't work out like a nut because you'll need plenty of energy to take care of your son. Do a little more each day.

Remember it took 9 months of body changes to get to the end of your pregnancy so it may take that long to get back to your former self. Just remember to eat well and be good to yourself.

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D.R.

answers from New York on

hi A., you got lots of good advice about losing the weight, and no, its not a mystery. the thing that might be throwing you, because it did for me, is that you really do have a new body now. i dont just mean your weight/shape, but the way your body works, including your metabolism and how you lose/gain weight. you will notice other differences if you havent already, my hair changed, my allergies changed, my strengths and weaknesses when it comes to illness changed, lots of stuff. not all for the worse, im not saying that at all. my nails never looked so good! though now i have to cut them so i dont scratch the babies lol ... my allergies are so much better, etc etc...... so what im saying is that the things that worked for you before simply might not work for you now. it can be confusing and depressing, it is for me, anyway. i never truly struggled with my weight before, i was always thin with little effort, and if i wanted to shape up a little, i knew what to do and it worked. now i am doing those things and it doesnt seem to make a damn bit of difference. not true, at least it stopped the numbers from continuing to climb, so thats something. but i can feel that i need to exercise not only more, but differently. i also feel that sleep, and my lack of it, makes a difference for me, i am just not operating optimally at all, and i feel like my body is hanging on to the fat out of stress. i dont know if im saying it right, but our bodies do that in times of stress, especially around the middle. so you might have to change the things you do to keep in shape, maybe more, or maybe just different. listen to your body and find what works for you, try different things, drink lots of water, and try to get some sleep and reduce your stress. you can get yourself back into shape, even if its not the same shape it was.

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J.S.

answers from New York on

How old is your son? If under 18 months relax! Breastfeeding does wonders to reduce the extra fat in the tummy area, but with it must be exercise and a healthy diet. Remember if you ARE breastfeeding you need to eat right to make the milk. You know about exercising already so don't rush it. Enjoy your darling son and remember childbirth is not automatic it is a gift from God!
Try using a light girdle when you exercise to help control the muscles in your tummy.
J. S

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C.O.

answers from New York on

I had a similar problem after I went back to work after my son (21 months old now). I started weight watchers and I was set on a path. I stuck with mostly core foods from weight watchers, I was TRULY OPEN about changing what I was eating. I dropped most of the processed food, limited my sugar intake, switched to as many organics as I could afford, eventually joined my local CSA (go to www.localharvest.org if you are interested in community supported agriculture) and I lost 25 pounds and I think changed my body permanantly. I am actually about 12-15 pounds lighter than my prepregnancy weight. I don't have the cravings I used to. I am getting more nutrition due to the organics and now that I am 29 weeks along in my second pregnancy I have gained less weight and feel stronger and less winded than I did the first time around.
But I warn you, I changed alot of things. I truly believe that processed foods and convenience foods are low in or completely devoid of nutrition--and when the body doesn't get what it needs in terms of natural protein and vitamins, etc, it will continue to tell you it is hungry for what it needs to run.
I have known alot of people who say "i just can't give up x" and what I say to that is give it up for a week and see how you feel about it. I used to think I couldn't go without half and half in my coffee, and after just TRYING it for a while I really don't care anymore. I feel the same way about french fries and fast food, alot of things. But it all came about because I was willing to try a new way of doing things.
Trust me, I still enjoy eating some 'junk food' at times, but now I eat it once a month or two instead of once or twice a week. and if I eat junk too often, my body tells me how unhappy it is by getting constipated or feeling crummy and sluggish. I am no longer willing to feel crummy and sluggish just so I can eat food that doesn't really taste all that good to begin with.
But weight watchers was a great starting point for me because although I thought I knew how to eat, I really didn't. The WW program, particularly the core foods program was eye opening. I plan on doing it again after this baby is born!
Good Luck--you can do it! It is not a mystery to lose weight.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

It sounds like you just had this baby. Your uterus needs to shrink back to its normal size, breastfeeding will help speed this process (but don't worry even if you're not breast feeding, it will go down!!) You were very fit before your pregnancy, you will be fit again! Just remember if you have a jogging stroller, not to use it until your baby is old enough for it. Best Wishes.

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B.C.

answers from New York on

How long has it been since you had the baby? It does take a while to get the tummy back into shape. But you WILL get there, don't worry. For now, learn to love yourself for who you are, it's the only way you'll have peace. Eat smart, walk whenever you can, and do some tummy exercises when possible and it will come back. I gained over 30 lbs during my pregnancy, gave birth a year ago and now I weigh less than my pre-pregnancy weight. My belly still has some fat around it but it's disappearing. Just be patient, don't eat junk, have lots of salads, drink water, and you will be back in shape in no time. Good luck!!!

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N.B.

answers from Jamestown on

I gained 43 pounds with my fourth pregnancy. She was only 4lbs.2oz when she was born! Talk about insecure.

I drank Arizona Green Tea and realized that I was loosing the weight. I also walked alot too. I lost all the wieght in 2 months.

Give it a shot,
Nanc

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M.G.

answers from New York on

I'm not going to answer your question. Everyone has done a great job of that. I just wanted to congratulate you and welcome you to Mommyhood!! It is what it is. Our bodies change, but I'm glad you're on the right track to your level of fitness. I'm not fond of my physique either. I've had three children by c-section, but I think to myself which would I prefer right now in my life?--the children or a phenomenal (pre-children) body? Remember why your body is what it is right now as you gaze at your cute little creation. Wasn't it worth it?

Good luck and blessings upon you and your new family.

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I.J.

answers from New York on

Hi A. -
I'm with Arbonne International and we have a fantastic weight loss program. I am unable to workout at this time, but have lost 22lbs on the system. Give me a call ###-###-#### and we'll work on a program together. Enjoy your baby!!

Sincerely,
I. Jaeger
ID#17222859

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