Looking for Others with Early Maturing 8 Year Olds

Stop preaching and start talking to her about the changes in her body.

My daughter is 9 and has been wearing a bra since she was 8 / 3rd grade. She started shaving under her arms in May and started shaving her legs within the past few weeks. I've purchased mini pads for her in preparation of when she starts her period.

I purchased the American Girl "All About Me" book last year and she and I have read it together. It explains about all of the changes, etc that she will be going through. I've made sure to keep the lines of communication open and she asks questions when something occurs to her about all of this.

I'm proud of the fact that although my daughter is going through these changes, she's still a little girl and does little girl things. We keep her dressed appropriately for her age, her toys are age / level appropriate as are her movies, music and books.

Make sure you have a good relationship with your daughte and make sure she knows you're always there and ready to listen. Good luck......

This entry brought tears to my eyes because you always feel like you're the only one going through a situation and that's never true. I have 7 yr old fraternal twin girls and one is maturing and the other is not so that's extra hard. She has had hair since she was 6. Its real important to have a network or support people like family or friends or church members that are close to your daughter that can help you with her. Sometimes these people can say exactly what you've been saying and they'll hear it from her and not you and that's ok as long as she gets it... Don't worry, be attentive and fun-loving and enjoy each day because we can't get these days back.

Hi S.,
I just wanted to mention that occasionally, early maturation is a symptom of something else going on in the body. My daughter started getting underarm and 'other' hair at 7...by her 8th birthday, she had breast buds. I was concerned and took her to the pediatrician, who ran several blood tests and couldn't find anything wrong. I kept going back and insisting that something wasn't right...eventually he sent us to a pediatric endocrinologist who discovered that my daughter has a Thryoid condition. We got her on medicine (which she will unfortunately have to take for the rest of her life), and her puberty symptoms slowed way down. She is 10 now and looks pretty much like a normal 10-year-old, and she has not started her period yet. I am very thankful that I persisted in my efforts to rule out any underlying conditions. Most likely your daughter is normal, but I think it makes sense to check it out just in case. Good luck!

My 11 y/o daughter started menstruating when she was 9 and has now pretty much developed physically as I expected she would in her early teens. For some reason I was expecting her to develop maturity as well, but I was wrong. She's still a child in most ways. Learn from my mistakes - expect a child in a developed body and not an increased level of maturity based on physical development. Good luck, the next few years will be challenging!

I too started my cycle very early. I was an early 9. It took my mom by surprize and it went down hill very quickly. My older sister had just started her cycle and all my mom could do was ask haven't you been paying attention. Well let me tell you. Kids know a lot about many things but when the body begins to transform whatever you know does not seem to be relavent to you. Get the kit from some of the feminine product people, go to the book store anywhere that you can get some plain easy to understand wording and sit down with her and go over everything. She is still a little girl that will have to deal with big girl issues at schools that are not equipped to handle them. Her friends will not know, nor will they understand. Give her ample information. She may not be willing to listen or show interest but you must get through this together and she will hear more than you give her credit for. If she has been seeing the same pedi. doctor for her life, make an appointment. You would be surprised at how good a communicator they can be on helping you travel this path. Good Luck, and enjoy these wonder years.

The best thing to do is to make your daughter comfortable with her body changes and explain to her that she is an adult but always a lady first. Go for a ride and point out the Hoochie from the lady. Take her to different neighborhoods and show her that using her brains can get her into nice areas and using her rear can put her in a housing project. Explain to her about teenage pregnancy and introduce her to some teenage mothers so that they can tell her how their lives have changed. Talk to her like the adult she is becoming and monitor who she hangs with. Teenage girls require a lot of attention. If you make it more of a girl time outing, she will not feel like you are smothering her.

Hi S.,

I am sure this is really difficult for you -- it would be for me too. My 7 year old only ACTS like she's nineteen! But one thought that occurred to me is that if your daughter thinks this is cool (and of course she does), why not let her think it is cool. Psychologically she is still 8, but if she is excited about her body changing, that has to be better than her feeling ashamed and scared and worried! Like all of us, female and male, she'll feel all kinds of ways about her body in her life, probably, but the messages she gets now will probably make a big difference for a long time, so if you can say "yes, this is your body growing up" and let her enjoy that, I'm sure that's okay. She doesn't have the same associations you do with physical growing up and boys -- whatever she thinks dating is, it is an 8 year old version of it. Trust her youth and innocence to protect her for now from the scary side of "growing up" and maybe think of her enjoying having breasts and pubic hair as the same as an 8 year old who walks into a grown up party in a pretty dress enjoys hearing everyone say "oh my gosh -- she's become a young lady!"

Good luck -- this seems to be something more and more of us are having to deal with -- one good thing about your daughter is that this is happening to her now and not in the 1970s when she and you would have had few if any other early-bloomers to relate to.

blessings,
M.

Hi S., I believe that we do our best to raise our kids to have a good mind frame and to know right from wrong. I just say talk to her, just explain that even though she is going through this earlier than other little girls she is still an 8 year old little girl. and has her whole life to be a big girl so dont rush it , enjoy being a little kid because it trully goes by so fast.
Its actually funny Im 25 and the other day my dad brought me some of my old papers and keepsakes from when I was in elementry all through the 7 grade. and it really feels like it was yesterday when I did all that stuff and it makes you miss it when you where young and had no worries in the world.
Just explain to her , and if you feel that you have done a wonderful job raising her and teaching her, then you have nothing to worry about. Tell her that if she goes around the other little girls , rubbing it in that she is maturing faster, it will just hurt her in the long run. and im not saying she is.
Good luck and God Bless. Just pray to God.. There is nothing that God cant help you through.
K.

There are some doctors and scientist that believe the girls are maturing early is because of all the growth hormones in feed given to the cows and other farm animals. All of this has come about since then. Buy Organic for your babies and children. Growth hormones I believe are also in some vegatables. A child should be a child longer.
Oh, I forgot have a doctors visit and ask for blood test to check for any problems (thyroid etc.) These can be corrected.
Good luck

Hi S.,
You sound like an amazingly sweet mom who loves her daughter very much.

I would suggest from this point on to make sure that your daughter is eating real whole foods all the time. The artificial, chemicalized junk foods can be a cause of early development because of the hormones in the meats and milk.

I am a health counselor who works with women and families. My email is ____@____.com. I would love to do a free health consultation with you.
Hang in there. All will be well!
K.

My youngest sister matured faster than the rest of us. I believe she started her cycle at 9 or 10.

I agree with Nancyrae, definitely stop telling her to remain a child. That will only make her want to grow up faster. Instead let her know that you know how she feels. You know that she wants to be grown up but that there are lots of things special about being 8 and 9 and 10 etc.

I also agree to talk to her pediatrician just in case.

i was a eairly bloomer. got my period when i was nine, dont remember life with out boobs, and hair seemed to always have been "there". you can also teach her how to handle the new emotions. if you wish to teach abstinance do it now. just like you would teach her no smoking and what the effects of smoking, having sex, lieing, you know all the moraly incorrect things. that there are concequences for all actions. but at the same time teach her what type of man she should be looking for. open that door. she probably just has crushes. make sure if she plays at a neighbors house the parent is home. congrats on recognizing there is something to DO when your child is maturing eairly. :)

Talk to your daughter's pediatrician. Precocious puberty could be a sign of a medical problem.

Don't let you fears may her think that something is wrong with her maturing. IF you do, she will begin to develop low self esteem and think there is something to be ashamed of as her body develops. Accept where she is at developmentally. It seems like you need to get more prepared for her growing up--she seems excited about the changes which are good--it's natural and normal. Teach her things are her level--that's all she is intersted in is the facts about her changes--remember she is not 16 yet!