At What Age Should a Tween/teen Start to Shave Her Armpits and Legs?

Updated on August 09, 2011
M.Y. asks from Oklahoma City, OK
51 answers

This is just something that has come up that I have wondered about and have been asking any other moms or even women who remember when things changed in their own youth. My daughter is about to turn 12 and as of the beginning of the summer she went from a bra being an option to having to have a bra. She has started caring more about how she looks though not always. She has grown hair under her arms and on her legs but she is blond so it does not show much. At what age should girls start shaving? She will start middle school in a month and I don't want her to get made fun of but I don't want to rush her either. What do you think?

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J.D.

answers from Phoenix on

My parents had a you have to be 16 rule. When I was 11 I wanted to do it because boys on the bus made fun of my legs. My parents said I was too young. I was mortified to the point of sneaking my mom's razor and doing it myself. I never forgot that and tell myself I will let my daughter shave when she wants to and needs to. I'd rather teach her technique and trust her than have her have to sneak it to feel normal.

6 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Jeez if she has pit hair then she is totally ready to shave. Don't make excuses like it is blond it is still pit hair, gross.

6 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

If she has hair, it should come off. People definitely (especially teens) notice blonde hair. Seriously, it will NOT go unnoticed.

4 moms found this helpful

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Leave it up to her. If she wants to now, let her.

5 moms found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

Is she asking to be able to shave? If so, then yesterday!!
My Mom was very weird about allowing me to shave when I was a kid, I can remember being in 5th grade and having hairy armpits and not wanting to raise my hand in class because I was afraid someone would see my hairy armpits. I was soooo self conscious and embarrassed I would rather have the teacher think I was stupid than to have the other kids see my hairy pits. If she is asking to shave she is probably embarrassed but won't say so. Legs too, my Mom had little to no hair on her legs --- I am a hairy monster--- but for some reason my Mom never saw the need for me to shave until I was about 7th or 8th grade. And we are talking about the days when we wore dresses to school everyday. I just wanted to crawl into a hole in the ground and pull the dirt in with me. Now I shave daily.

5 moms found this helpful

B.B.

answers from Dallas on

When they start middle school.. Especially because now she will be changing clothes during gym.. She is the right age.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

It is about hygiene.
If you can see it, others can too.... other kids and her Teachers and strangers.

There are many Tweens/Teens, who may not shave... but it does look gross. Others notice too and comment.
It looks, like they don't take care about their hygiene.

Treat her, as she is. Her age.
And per her body's changes.
You cannot avoid that.

The "American Girl" book series is good... they have one called "The Care & Keeping Of You" for girls this age. It is age appropriate and easy to read and for the Mom to read it with the girl, too.

And, you are the Mom.
You can't just 'wait' for her to ask you.
What if she never does?
She may be to shy to ask you or feel awkward about it and the whole subject.
You are the Mom... therefore, YOU take the lead and broach the subject with her.
That is what a Mom is for.
And so your daughter knows, she can ask you anything. Personal. Too.

4 moms found this helpful

D.M.

answers from Rapid City on

i say now and show her how.

4 moms found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Let her do it now! If she has underarm hair and her legs are hairy, it should really go (yes, even if it blonde). Don't give kids a reason to make fun of her.

3 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

When she becomes self conscious of it, if she does. Some are younger
some older. When she asks to shave, let her.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.P.

answers from Provo on

She knows what works best for her. She is going to be feeling a lot of pressure in middle school. She will probably want to start shaving her armpits and using deodorant ASAP. Talk to her and get some feelings from her. It is a hygiene issue.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

If your daughter is becoming concerned about her looks (even though it's "'not always") and wants to start shaving, I'd let her do it. You're not rushing her if it's something she wants to do. Believe me, you'll have bigger battles to work on than this one... and girls that age are so sensitive about what their peers say about them. Would she tell you if she was troubled about that? If not, let her know that some girls shave at her age, and if she indicates that she'd like to, help her learn to do it well. Stock up on band-aids.

2 moms found this helpful

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

I wish my mom had let me start sooner! It wasn't until I was well into 7th grade that she let me. I was around 12. I have very blond hair but very long. When I had to change into shorts for PE it was so obvious. I got teased a good deal for it. Finally my mom let me and I am very glad she did.
Kids can be so insanely mean about anything that "the masses" aren't. I can guarentee that I will let my daughter a lot sooner than my mom let me if she asks.

2 moms found this helpful
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E.P.

answers from New York on

Absolutely let her if she wants to. My daughter developed very early. She's not quite 12 and has been wearing a real bra for a few years now. She is a C cup, so you get the picture. she has been shaving her legs since she was about 8 because the hair on her legs was dark. She started shaving under her arms as soon as that hair came in. She will be going into her second year of middle school in Sept. I would say definately have your daughter start shaving before she starts school. Girls can be mean and I think it's part of good hygeine anyway. Good luck because there's more coming as you know. My daughter got her period for the first time over a year ago. sigh . . .

2 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I think it should be when she asks to start.
Puberty (like everything else) hits kids at varying ages, so it's hard to set a fixed appropriate time.
Let her take the lead, with your full support of course:)

2 moms found this helpful

C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I think I was 13 for my legs and 11 for my arm pits. I think for under the arms, it should be done as soon as there is hair there. For legs, as soon as she is feeling funny about having hair on her legs is fine. My husbands cousin is 18 and she STILL doesn't shave. I think that's a little odd and I asked her about it once, but she said it just doesn't bother her

2 moms found this helpful
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T.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I let both of my girls shave as soon as it started bothering them.

If it's not noticeable, I don't think anyone will make fun of her, but if it is more noticeable, you might approach it like, "Time for another mother/daughter bonding/teaching moment. Shaving. I just wanted to show you how to shave your legs and underarms for when you want to start shaving", and teach her technique. Tell her when she's ready you will buy her her own razor. This way you aren't pointing anything out to her that is wrong with her body, and she'll probably want to try it right away. If not, don't push, IMO.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.P.

answers from New York on

I am sure girls are doing it younger now, have you asked her if she wants to? I remember my mom not "letting" me shave my legs in middle school. Looking back, its so dumb. If she wants to and is clearly in need (esp her armpits) then show her how to do it right.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Teach her now.
When daughter #1 was in 7th she wanted to start shaving, the other girls had teased her.
When my next one hit middle school I bought her razors and showed her how to use them, but said when you are ready, here they are. She is going into 8th and shaves regularly.
Has she started her periods yet? Both my girls' shaving pretty much coincided with the onset of their periods.

1 mom found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I would wait until she absolutely has to do it...because as we all know - once she starts...she can't stop...urgh!! :)

My daughter was VERY hairy - she started shaving at 12 and using deodorant at 9...and her hair was VERY dark so she didn't have a choice if she wanted to wear shorts...she looked like she had "man legs"...her words...not mine.

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S.S.

answers from Daytona Beach on

i shaved my own, as did my sisters, when we were 9. but we all started puberty in 4-6th grades, so we had the hair to have to do it.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.R.

answers from Tulsa on

The right age to start shaving is when she decides she wants to. If she wants to start shaving now that's fine, but if she never wants to start shaving that's also fine.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

I started in 6th grade. My daughter has been asking since 3rd and I've said no. She's now going into 5th and we just started. She did have a lot of dark long hair. We didn't use a regular disposable razor. I was too worried she'd cut herself or I'd cut her. So, we got an electric razor. It works great!

1 mom found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

I started at 11 because that is when I had to go to gym and they made us dress out in tiny shorts! I didn't want to have hairy legs. I think whenever she says she is ready, then it is time :)

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I say that a girl starts shaving when she feels like she needs to. There is no age number on it. I think that no one will make fun of her, just the opposite - they will start pressuring their moms about shaving themselves, or they will be shaved themselves already.

I have boys, so you may think I have no business answering this question but when this biological clock turns on the kids just answering the call - you cannot stop it, you just have to ride it. We used to nag and push out kid to exercise, not anymore- he is picking the dumbbells and does push ups in his room - go figure!

Your daughter will eventually start shaving - who cares when? My Mom's line was "But you will have to shave for the rest of your life!" So what? I still shave, and wax, and pluck, and laser my spots and veins, and still care how I look and how much I weight, and still color my hair, and soon will be doing Botox - I am a woman! I do what I want to make myself more beautiful and comfortable in my skin. Mom thinks that I am beautiful just the way I am - and that is why she is Mom and that is why I love her. But the rest of the world is not so kind.
Good luck to you and your baby.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

There is no set age. She should start shaving IF and when the hair bothers HER.
If it doesn't bother her, it's not a problem. If she decides that she never wants to shave, it's not a problem.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Birmingham on

I can tell you as a blonde that I didn't start shaving until I was in high school, but the hair was so fine and so blonde that it couldn't be seen at all. Luckily it is still that way!! I think that it she really depend on her though - let her decide when she is ready - just remind her that it is for the rest of her life! Good luck. God bless you and your family!

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N.C.

answers from Cleveland on

My doc recommended that my 13 year old start when she asked to start which was about two years ago. It was hard for me to say yes, but once I did I realized it was just another step in her learning to take care of her young women body versus her young girl body. And it was a good practice run for us talking about changing body issues before her period started.

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L.S.

answers from Wichita on

Ha ha! My daughter is going into 8th grade, and STILL doesn't have any desire to shave!! Her bff just started this summer, and is doing great. I've often wondered what's taking her so long to want to do it. (I started in 5th grade!!) Good thing is, she doesn't wear tank tops or sleeveless shirts, so what hair she does have under there, doesn't show. Her leg hair can only be seen when the light hits them JUUUUST right. I've talked about it to her before, but she's not budging. She's pretty stubborn, so I'm thinking once she gets to school and peer pressure hits, she'll come around. :) If for some reason THAT doesn't work, I may be on here begging for answers from everyone on how to get the task done!! lol ls

M.C.

answers from Pocatello on

I started shaving my armpits when I was about 11 or 12, when I started having armpit hair. I started shaving my legs a little after that. I think that if she is going to wear short sleeves, and has armpit hair, she should start shaving. Girls in middle school are treacherous to other girls in some cases, so I think it would be a good idea to give them one less thing to tease.

Make sure to teach her how to shave correctly. The first time I tried shaving my mom just bought me a razor and some cream and let me "go for it"... I ended up with terribly painful razor burn, cuts, and bumps... ugh! THEN she showed me how to do it "right" and I have never had trouble since, but I sure wish she would have helped me before!

-M.

M.L.

answers from Houston on

I was about that age also. Just show her how to be careful... and to be even more careful w new blades! One of my first shaving experiences took a huge chunk out of the back of my ankle... it hurts just thinking bout it.

K.L.

answers from Cleveland on

I would have her shave before school starts. Middle school was when we all started shaving. I had a friend who's mom wouldn't let her shave until she was 13, and all the kids at school made fun of her for having hairy legs. I felt so bad for her.

A.L.

answers from Dothan on

I started @ 11, starting Jr. High & had hair that NEEDED to go away, hence I have allowed my girls (4) & now my grangirl (the one that we are raising) to shave now @ 11 & going into middle school (she does have hair on her legs & needs a bra, no other body hair yet but the leg hair does show).

I think it matters how the individual girl feels about her appearance, my now 16 yr. old grangirl has never shaved, doesn't feel she needs to, her sister, now a mom herself to my 1st greatgrangirl started @ 14 because she said she didn't need it.

I don't think this is a matter of 'growing up too fast' I just think it's a matter of taste to the individual girl.

Ahhhhhhhh geeeeeezzz no matter what the babies just grow up too fast for we mommies & daddies!

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S.P.

answers from Birmingham on

If hair is growing there is no such thing as "rushing in to shaving." Our daughter was like me and my sisters and needed to shave by about 10 years old under the arms and it made her feel more comfortable so we let her shave her legs too. The great thing to do is go to a drugstore or Walmart and buy a small electric razor that costs about $10. There's no risk of cutting yourself like with other razor blades and they do wonderful.

✤.J.

answers from Dover on

My mom made me wait until 6th grade & I had such dark hair I was mortified. My daughter started asking around age 7 or 8, but she didn't have any hair to speak of until she was 9, just about to turn 10. She shaves her pits I'm guessing every couple of weeks & her legs about once a month & that's all they need for right now.

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L.M.

answers from Texarkana on

My daughter has blond hair but it was thick. She really had no problem with it until the girls at school started picking on her. I hated to let her start shaving at age 10, but it got to the point that she would avoid her "friends" if she was wearing shorts. We started using nair, but the smell was awful, so after she turned 11 I took her to pick out her first razor. I know people who started shaving their daughters legs for them when they were nine, but I believe if they're not old enough to do it themselves, they shouldn't be doing it.

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S.R.

answers from Detroit on

oh my, please teach her how to shave. even blonde hairs have a way
of saying "here I am", especially in the sunlight.
My mom made me wait until the kids at school teased me (how humiliating!) and I had to beg her. Your daughter will be grateful to you
and probably love the feeling of smooth, fresh armpits and legs!
good luck to you both!

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I would say that you should teach her as soon as she wants to shave. My mom didn't let me shave when I wanted to, and I was super embarrassed about my "hairy" legs during gym in school. That was a totally avoidable issue!

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

My oldest is almost 12. She started middle school last year. She leans much more towards the still liking being a kid than trying to be a teen. No interest in make up. Needs to be coaxed to take a shower as often as she needs to. She does have deoderant. She has never shown interest in shaving. I am not not going to push it wit her. She is not self-conscious, I see no need to rush her into it when she is happy being a kid. Her hair is very light, so it is not at all noticeable unless you are really looking hard to see it. I will be happy to allow her to shave when she wants to, but I am letting her take the lead.

T.C.

answers from Dallas on

Legs were around 12 for me, I think. My little sister was super hairy, so she started at 10 years. As for the armpits, whenever hair starts growing, shave it...at least that's what we did.

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K.A.

answers from Eugene on

My mom made me wait until the summer before 8th grade to shave even though I begged her to let me shave a little before I started 7th grade because my so-called-friends were making fun of me. Even though I am also blonde, you can still see the hair. I didn't want shave so I could be sexy when I was 11, I just didn't want crazy gross "gorilla" legs (as I called them) and didn't want my girl "friends" to laugh at me. :-) I'm sure she's in the same boat. I personally think that once my daughter has armpit hair (she's only 6 now), she's old enough to shave her legs and pits!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

When ever she feels the need to. Just get her an easy razor, I love my intuition with the built in shave cream. No point in going electronic, they do not shave close and than she will just have stubble rather than hair, which is worse!

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N.H.

answers from Peoria on

Well there's no need to shave under the arms unless she has hair which is usually at puberty. If she has noticible hair on the legs & wants to shave, why not let her if she wants to? If she hasn't thought about it or mentioned it, just say something like "Since you'll be starting middle school this year, I think it's time you started learning how to shave your legs..." then show her what to do. You may want to mention casually that she'll need to start shaving the armpits once she starts getting hair under there to & when that time comes, help her w/that too.

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F.E.

answers from Albuquerque on

My GD is 12 and i let her just use Nair for now..

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L.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Mine started shaving around the age of 12 because she is a ballerina and it looked really bad to have hairy legs and pits (not to mention bikini line) when you are wearing a leotard and sheer pink tights!

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H.M.

answers from San Diego on

get her an electric shaver... she really can't hurt herself with one, and will probably give her more confidence around friends when she's in shorts. I probably wouldn't give my daughter a blade until she's older.

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S.S.

answers from Columbia on

I remember my mom didn't let me start shaving until I was in 7th grade. It was SO embarrassing!! I really think when she starts middle school, 6th grade, is a good age to start shaving. That's when all my friends had started. It really sucked being left out and such. I would let her decide now if she wants to start or not. Even though her hair is blonde and may not be very noticable, it's noticable to her. Just my thoughts!! :):)

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C.D.

answers from Lafayette on

Does it bother her? Has she asked to shave? If so, now is the time. Have a spa nite & make it fun. I'm blond& had long blond hair on my legs. I hated it. My eight-year old is darker than me. I may be having this sooner than 12!

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

If she wants to shave -let her shave! My mom had an "obsession/aversion" to body hair and started shaving my legs for me in 3rd grade. I wasn't even "hairy" as far as some kids go, but it drove her nuts! When my armpit hair started coming in, of course I shaved it immediately ;-) It doesn't hurt anything, and if she wants to shave -then let her.

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S.M.

answers from Tulsa on

My daughter turned 12 in February and this summer she asked to shave her armpits. She plays sports and such and will be in tanks/sleeveless shirts often so she was self-conscious. I let her shave because of that. For her legs she uses a spray on foam hair remover with a plastic spatula-like "razor" rather than a true razor. I showed her how to shave under her arms and bought her a razor of her own. Myself, Ive never shaved my legs out of fear of nicks/cuts (I scar up very badly) - always used Nair and now I use the spray foam. I say let your girl be your guide.

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R.F.

answers from Montgomery on

Both of my girls started shaving their armpits when they were almost 12. Although they used deoderant they still started smelling. This probably had to do with hormones as they both started their cycles around 11 1/2 years. My oldest started shaving her legs around 13. My middle is 12 and I think I will wait until she is 13. This seems a good time, I think maturity level will be another factor I will have to consider with my youngest. Hope this j helped.

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