Kids Waking up in Middle of Night

Updated on January 27, 2008
T.W. asks from Burleson, TX
8 answers

Hi All.

My kids who are 6 and almost 4 wake in the middle of the night to come into our room to sleep with my husband and I. Any suggestions how I can get them to stop??

THANKS!

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

I think the answer is in your profile (if it's still accurate) - you're not getting to spend much time with your kids, so they have a higher than normal need to be near you at nite. I would suggest you just put sleeping bags on the floor to make room for them. Also, if there is still instability/irregularity in you or your husband's work hours, it's likely comforting and reassuring for your kids to be near you at nite, since having you both around during the day isn't consistent.

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T.B.

answers from Houston on

We have the same problem with our 4 year old, that is when she sleeps in her own bed. When she's at preschool, she takes a nap and then she won't go to sleep in her own bed. On the weekends, when she doesn't nap, she goes to sleep in her own bed and then wakes in the middle of the night screaming "Mom". Our 6 year old didn't start sleeping in her own bed until she was 5 and starting kindergarten and our then 3 year old did this for a while too...I created a chart from the DTLK Kids website and I went to the dollar store and after they went to bed one night in their own beds I gave them a surprise the next day and, then for 3 days in a row and slowly extended it and phased it out. My 6 yr. old still goes to bed in her own bed and stays there all night. I hope this helps. I will be reading the other suggestions, b/c I would love to get my 4 year old to sleep in her own bed all night too.

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M.F.

answers from Dallas on

I guess how I'd handle it depends on whether this is a new occurrence (perhaps in response to your work schedule changes) or something that has always happened. If it isn't new, before you put them to bed, tell them that it's time to be in their own beds, and tell them you'll take them back to their own room if they come into yours in the middle of the night. Then I'd do like another post suggested and simply walk them back to their rooms when it happens. You might plan on consuming extra Starbucks during this time :-)

If it's a new thing, it's likely because of the work schedules and they just want/need to be near you to feel comfort and security. I'd put sleeping bags or blankets on the floor and let them know they have a spot there if they need it. We did this with my 4 yr old (who goes through phases of this every few months) and it works great. I'd wait a few weeks before working on getting them out of your room completely.

Also, ask them if there's something that will make them want to stay in their own rooms -- night light, leave the door open, etc. Some friends of ours got their daughter a funky fiber optic lamp and instantly solved their problem with night time visits. There are some cool lava lamps, electronic fish tanks, etc.

Also, if they don't share a room, maybe they could sleep in the same room for a while.

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C.G.

answers from Houston on

This is going to sound totally strange, but try doing some "mom and dad" time while the kids are awake. Just spend 10 minutes on the couch with your husband. Tell the kids that you and daddy are spending some time together and need to be uninterrupted. Sometimes kids get up in the middle of the night because it's the only time they see their parents together, especially if the 2 of you work different shifts. The greatest gift you can give your kids is the sense that mom and dad love each other. It's their sense of security.

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S.R.

answers from San Antonio on

T. this was an awful problem with one of my four children. The following worked really well for us:
We let our son choose a sleepingbag that he thought was really cool. We put it on the floor on my side of the bed. When our son came in the room in the middle of the night, he had to get in his cool new sleepingbag, which was all laid out and waiting for him! Sometimes I would say "hold my hand", and dangle my hand over the bed to him while he was in his sleeping bag, or scratch his back for just a minute. The personal contact seemed to be important at first. We used this to ween him from getting in our bed. Certainly it was a process, but in a short period of time he would come in our room in the middle of the night and go straight to his sleeping bag. We let this go on indefintely. The day came where we kept the sleeping bag in the corner, and he came in only on occasion. Hope this helps.

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K.E.

answers from San Angelo on

I suggest that you take them back to their beds. From time to time my kids do the same thing and I just take them back to their beds. I might also suggest that you leave on a hall light after you go to bed so that when they do wake up in the night there not scared of the dark because they have a light on.

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A.L.

answers from Houston on

Although it is easier to let them just come into the bed...you need to break the habit now, it is a hard habit to break (as you can see) :) We had the same problem at one point but HAD to stop it before it was a habit we could never break. It was easy to just let our girls hop in the bed and all go back to sleep (my girls are the same ages as yours). We had to get up, walk them upstairs and tell them they could not sleep in our bed anymore. It took about a week of lots of ups and downs...we were getting up several times a night to put them back in bed but it was SO worth it. It took about a week. Now, we do not have that problem unless one of them is sick or has a horrible dream. I wish you lots of luck with this....stay strong, stick to your guns and don't give in. You can do it.

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C.S.

answers from Amarillo on

Hi T.--Maybe if you can get the 6 yr old to stop coming to your bed, the 4 yr old will stop too. I know it must be hard working crazy hours at work. I think if you can talk to the older child and get it stopped, the youngest might not want to sleep with you and your hubby even if they do wake up. Maybe they will go back to their bed if they don't see the sibling in your bed. Good Luck!

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