Is It Wrong to Want a Baby Shower for Your Second Pregnancy?

I understand wanting to celebrate the birth of a child, but I too am a believer of only 1 baby shower. There are other ways to celebrate the birth with a dinner or family party once the child is born. People shouldn't feel obligated to give gifts for each child, but should do it because they want to. I have 2 children and only had 1 shower. It is all a matter of preference.

Well, I was going to add my two cents, but I must say that the other wonderful Mommies on this site have already done a great job. ;)

Just to be clear though, I too believe that each baby deserves to have their day. And especially since she is having twins- she could use all of the love and support she can get.

Take care~

I think a shower is a wonderful way to welcome a new arrival! Just because you already had a baby and shower, doesn't mean you can't have another one. My arguement with my mother was that she felt I should have my 2nd babies shower AFTER the baby was born. I needed the items before the arrival since this child was a boy and my first was a girl.

Your Aunt is a stick in the mud! Why not celebrate each and every blessing that enters this world?! I say go for it and let her (your Aunt) choose what kind of Aunt she "really" is by showing up... or not.
Happy Celebrating!

I don't think it's wrong at all. I could maybe see if her baby is only 9mo old or something, but even then I still think it's ok- you get things at baby showers that aren't reusable, plus if they are close enough together she could be using things still for the first baby and need another item for the second. I definately think it's a necessity due to the fact that she's having twins this time. I hope this helps!

I'm kind of in the middle on this because I never believed in second baby showers, but then got pregnant with twins on my second and friends decided to throw a shower for me. But what I requested was that people give me second-hand stuff. I had one of everything so people donated a second bouncy chair, crib, high chair, swing, etc. It was great. I also got tonnes of second-hand clothing as even though I'd had a boy and the twins are boys they were born at different times of the year and I wouldn't have had enough for two babies. Some very generous people also gave me gift cards for Babies R Us, which was helpful as I had to buy extra everything. So, if your sister wants a second shower, but your aunt feels put out, why not have your aunt find some second-hand stuff to donate or go to a thrift shop and buy something and give your sister a shower. She may be overwhelmed by the thought of having two babies and the money it is going to cost to get the extra stuff!

No, I absolutely dont think it is wrong. We come across this all the time with my big family and all my friends being of the furtile age. We do something a little different. We call it a Baby Celebration. After all, we believe that it is about celebrating the little one (not getting showered with gifts). Each child is special and different and they each deserve to be celebrated. Just dont go out and register for all those large ticket items the third, forth, fifth time around. If anyone wants to get the baby something special thats fine too. :)

I had a shower for both my kids. I did get some flack from family and some aunts and cousins didnt come. I did it because I had a girl first and then a boy and I didnt have anything for a boy so it was a small shower since I already had the big baby stuff. I would say go for it...especially since shes having twins, she will need all she can get! good luck

I did not have a second one, but my boys where close together and I had everything I needed so I asked my friends not to. I know many others, who's children where farther apart, where adding twins, or a child of the opposite sex, who had one because they did need more stuff to prepare. I do not see why it would not be ok to have one, I mean a new baby is a great reason to celebrate!

I'm currently pregnant with my second and absolutely expect to have a shower (or "sprinkle" - lighter version of a shower). I think every one is entitled to their opinion about whether or not it's necessary, but the idea of a baby shower is not to "get presents", it's to celebrate the upcoming baby's birth with a celebration with family and friends.

There can always be a no gift rule or have everyone only bring an item of clothing - especially if new babe is a different gender than #2. I've also seen where guests contribute to a "pot" so that the upcoming parents can get a large gift that they really need like a double-stroller.

I just think it's such a great way to commemorate the beginning of a new life and the pictures and memories are so important for the kids too as they grow up!

Ultimately, I think it's the choice of the parents, not the family and everyone should respect their decision. If your aunt doesn't agree, she doesn't have to come and enjoy the fun!

Most of my friends, including myself, have been having 2nd and even 3rd baby showers. I agree that each pregnancy and baby is an awesome event that needs to be celebrated! For me, the first time was a fairly big event, and even had a "work" one and a "family/friends" one. The second time around was a smaller event with a group of close friends. I say go for it!

Your aunt is right that usually a shower is held just for the first child since you can continue to use those items. However, I see nothing wrong with having a shower that replaces items that get used up: diapers, onesies, practical items not cutesy items.

It's all a matter of preference. My best friend threw me a shower for my first child (which was not at my request, it was a surprise) and after she was born my husband and I threw BBQ so our friends and family could come and see the baby. It was wonderful. For our second and third children (also girls), we asked everyone to not throw us a shower, but to come to a party after the girls were born. Again, it was great to see everyone have such a great time with the babies. That kind of a party was far better than a shower, because I could show off my new babies. But again, its a matter of preference. If your sister wants a shower, throw her one. :)

NO! I just had my second baby last month. I didn't waqnt a shower, but one of my friends really wanted to put together a celebration for us. So instead, we had a blessing way / brunch celebration. It was wonderful. My friends shared photos and stories of their families with wishes for the new baby in a gorgeous scrapbook, brought beads to string together for a laboring necklace, and wrote affirmations for me to remember during labor. I asked that there be no presents, but of course everyone loves to buy presents for new babies and so there were still presents. We had a lovely meal together, and I felt very supported going forward into labor. I think it is a terrific idea to celebrate each child's arrival in some way, whether it be during pregnancy or after arrival.

Of course it isn't wrong!! Even though she already had a baby shower she probably got rid of stuff, and there is probably tons of stuff she still doesn't know about. With twins, having extra of everything is a big help, and having her sister (wink) throw her the shower would be an even bigger help!

It's not wrong. My church put on two baby showers for me - one for my first daughter, one for my second.

No I don't feel it is wrong wanting to have another baby shower. I feel each pregnancy is a pure joy and miracle and should be treated as the same of any previous pregnancies.

T.

Every child is a blessing and should be celebrated!
We had a shower for my SIL for her 3rd boy. The gifts were not large but they still needed things such as clothes (the 2nd spit up and ruined alot of the old ones) and diapers and it is always nice for each kid to have thier own things. If people do not want to give a gift then that is their choice. Tell your aunt that you understand her position about gifts but you would still appreciate her coming to support her neice on a new adventure with having twins.
Good luck and enjoy the new babies!

I also have twins with an older child, and I had a baby shower both times. Even though I had a lot of baby stuff, it was really a hardship to buy everything I needed for twins. It's like shopping for a baby all over again, especially difficult since the furniture and carsearts are so expensive (and most people aren't counting on buying all that stuff the second time around). I used everything I got at the babyshower and I wouldn't know what I would have done without it! I definately don't see a problem having a baby shower in this case, but I have also known people who have had two and three baby showers for just one baby! I think it's no big deal, and the people who are against it don't have to come if they don't want to! ONe thing to think about,though, is that she will probably want lots of help from friends and family later on with the two babies, so you don't want them to feel like they are being asked to do too much, or put them in a place where they don't want to help in the future. I would consider that if lots of friends and family are feeling negative about it, but not so much if it's just one person. Just a thought, hope that helps!

In the old days they use to olny give one baby shower period. Come on this is 2009. I thinks it's great to give every baby a shower. I have 2 children and I was giving a baby shower for each one. There is nothing wrong with giving a baby shower for every pregnancy. I would say give your sister the baby shower and if your Aunt doesn't feel right about it...Sorry but don't come...Not trying to sound rude...

Back East, we do second showers, however they call them "Diaper Showers" so that people bring the things needed most, like tons of diapers. Of course, other stuff is brought to the expecting mother as well, but mostly diapers of all sizes. This is a celebration, without calling it a "Baby Shower"
That being said, I've also seen people throw "Twin showers" when the parents are expecing their first set of twins, regardless of when those twins come into the family. It's different kind of celebration, with two of everything being highlighted.
Good Luck

In the 'olden days' you used to have just one baby shower for your first born. (My own mom-in-law is a huge stickler on this one.) But that idea has changed! Moms today want to celebrate each child. And as everyone has mentioned so far... each baby is a different circumstance and worth celebrating :) So, I say, change with the times people! No one wants to stick with out dated ideas, unless you're a big fan of things like corsets, not wearing white after labor day, etc...! Enjoy the shower and have fun :)

absolutely she should have another one. Even if it was just one child. Baby showers allow the mom to celebrate she is having a baby. I didn't get one with my second child and always felt jipped. Plus.. all the cute baby things we hand down to our children when they have kids all belong to my son. Not that he'd care if I gave some to his sister, but I would know that those special baby things weren't hers.

I say go for it! Have another shower w/ close family and friends. I had a shower for my first and second and both are girls. I didn't do it for gifts, I just wanted to celebrate the 2nd child as much as the first. I think close family and friends will undwestand and want to celebrate. Especially since she does need more stuff for twins! You can word it in the invitation such that you focus on the celebration of the babies.

My neighbors threw a babyshower for me when I was expecting my third daughter. My other two at the time were 4 and 2 years old. I pretty much had everything I needed with the exception of a few things that I bought. I told them they did not need to do this but THEY were the was that insisted. The shower actually centered around me. Most of the gifts were for me. They all went in together and bought we two weeks of premade dinners. I can't tell you how much I really needed that. Anyway, you have to remember showers are not only for the mom and baby but for others to show you their love and sometimes this is the only way they can offer help to a new mom. I've never carried twins but I've been preganat for way too many months, your sister deserves the party of a lifetime!

Is it wrong to welcome a new baby, in this case, two new babies, into the world? OF COURSE NOT!! We need more traditions and celebrations in families! The aunt seems rigid. "Not right?" I just don't understand this thinking. I was blessed with friends who gave me showers with each of my pregnancies, even #4 daughter, who everyone warned would be left out of everything. Not so! We celebrated all babies, additions, changes, and transitions in our family!

A second baby shower is fine. I did not have one with my 2nd(my son) because I really didn't need much and I figured why spend money on a shower when I/they could spend that cake,etc. money on baby stuff instead. In reality most of the pople you know will bring a gift to the hospital or your house for the baby. So, what's the difference if the gift is recieved there or at a shower? I guess it depends on if the mom wants a shower. At a second baby shower the mom should expect that the gifts will be much less as most of the big items are already bought. Also, people coming to a second shower should not be obligated to sepnd ridiculous amounts of money, an outfit or two is nice to recieve and inexpensive.

I think every child should be REJOICED over! In our family (we have a big family) we have had showers for every baby born whether it was the 1st or 5th child! Your aunt should relax. Children are a gift from God!
M.

There is nothing wrong with having another baby shower. She's on her second preg and having a baby shower for this preg is fair. A baby is shower is for THAT baby or preg. It shouldn't not be limited to just one a lifetime. It's to give the mother support during this important time in her life and to help with the needs for the child/children. Shoot...bless that woman with a baby shower! :D

no cus it's celebrating the new birth of the little one. I have had a baby shower with each kid, I have had them after the baby is born cus I figure it's a babyshower.. So the baby should be there, and that way everyone can see the little one too. Also I never found out what i was having soo.. Had to have new stuff, and I didnt keep every article of clothing from my first boy to my girl to my baby boy now.. cus each kid is differnt. For instance my first baby was 5lbs 11oz and his baby brother was born 8lbs 1oz big difference in clothes!!! Baby showers are a celebration of a new life. and just cus she has had one kid that baby shower doesn't cross over to the other child, it would be like using one baby book for all your kids and saying well you weren't important enough to have your own book...

I think you should throw her another baby shower. If your aunt does not want to go then she does not have to go. I agree that all babies should be celebrated!!

No. I also had twins during my second pregnancy - now almost 7 y.o. - I didn't ask/expect one but my friends threw one for me. Twins are a whole different ballgame. Depending on the age of the older child don't forget them. Many friends gave gifts to the big sis for becoming one. It is also nice to give future gifts of time - either w/older child or babies, meals, visiting so new mom can take a shower all these are gifts. So, I'm all for a party.

I have only ever attended showers at work and we do throw a shower for every pregnant woman, no matter if it's her first or fourth child.
I personally think it's okay. People who feel that it's tacky always have the option of RSVPing with :"Sorry but we won't be able to attend."

If you have two or three kids then I think a shower is great for each one. If you have more than three or plan to then I like the idea of meet the baby type of showers. Regardless how many kids one has I do believe that each one should be celebrated equally.

I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with having a second baby shower. When I was growing up, we celebrated each and every baby with a shower. After I got married and had my first (with a shower), I got pregnant with twins (like your sister!) and no one did a shower. I had trouble understanding, especially since everybody actually got twin stuff for my kids-so what would've been the difference to do it all at once and celebrate my kids? It really wasn't about the stuff to me-I agree that it's awesome to celebrate each birth!! Funny thing-when I had my daughter (who was after my twins), they gave me a shower!! :) By then I had a lot of the basics but it was nice to get little dresses, etc. I think there should be a shower for every baby!!! :) Why would we only celebrate the first??? :) Babies are awesome!!! Hugs and congratulations to your sister and bless her and those twins (and the first child!)!!! (If she has any twin questions, feel free to contact me!!!) :)

I had a beby shower for my first child and had three miscarriages after that. After my third miscarriage I gave away all my baby stuff, then of course, a few months later I was again pregnant. I did not ask for a shower but my mother staunchly opposed anyone suggesting a shower for me - I had one and it was not proper etiquette to have one for a second child. It would have been great to have another since I had given everything away.

Personally, I agree with celebrating every baby as you celebrated the first and different circumstances call for different things.
With the expectation of twins, a shower is a good idea, even if it is not the first baby.

I have seen other options to help out a moms who are not having their first child that are really helpful.
My sister had a baby sprinkle. It was not an all out shower and since she had all the big stuff she needed already from her first child, her friends bought clothes (which was helpful since the new baby was a girl and her first was a boy), diapers , small toys , etc. They were able to get together and celebrate the new baby in the same way but it was still a celebration and helped my sister out immensly.

Something we did for a friend on her fourth child (especially helpful since her third was still in diapers) was a diaper drive. She obviously had everything she needed forthe new baby, including clothes, so we celebrated this new baby with food and fellowship and instead of everyone buying different things, everyone came with a package of diapers. Since diapers are an expesive consumable commodity and you can really never have too many diapers this was a great help.

It is never wrong to celebrate a new baby and the 4th, 6th , 10th child is worthy of just as much celebration and joy as the first- there are creative ways to celebrate without going overboard or seeming greedy (obviously a new crib is not needed for every new baby) so there is nothing wrong with a 'no gifts' shower, a cap on the expense of the gift shower or one steered towards a particular item, like diapers. I have even seen couples who have or are able to get everything they need for he new baby have a shower where they asked the gifts be donated to orphans/ children in need or battered womens shelters.

Honestly, I've never known someone NOT to have one, even for a fourth baby. My husband's work planned a surprise one for my second child (though they made the day too late, and I had him the day before, so Richard was caught at the party!).

Even if 2nd and 3rd showers were not the norm (and in my experience, they are), twins create a completely different set of valid reasons for one.

I wouldn't sweat it. If you get pregnant again, you will likely have a group of friends throw you at least a small baby shower.

I agree with your sister, celebrate every baby!

My youngest was born this summer and we had a shower after she was born. There weren't a lot of gifts (not needed), but it was still nice to celebrate her new life. I think as long as the shower is a little more fun/socialization focused and less about gifts, then it's totally fine!

Here's another vote for celebrating again. I have no idea what miss manners would say, and I for one didn't have a second shower, although so many of my friends offered to throw one or asked when I was doing one. So, go ahead and enjoy!

Every child is a blessing and should be celebrated. :-)

I see nothing wrong with it. I have 3 kids, and my church women's group threw me a shower (unrequested) for each baby. The women enjoy it and so do the mothers. It is a tradition in our church and every mother-to-be gets a shower for every baby. It is not just an excuse to "get gifts" but a reason to celbrate each individual gift (the baby) from God and since each baby is a different person, they each get thier own party. It is not a "mommy shower" it is a baby shower, to shower the baby, not the mother. I say throw her a shower and if people don't think it's appropiate, they don't have to attend.

Every baby should be celebrated for sure! You don't want any children that come after the first baby to think they weren't equally important as that first child. I have three kids and I had a shower for each one. The shower for the third was very low key and just close friends/family. I would think especially with twins she would need a shower...two of everything?! Best wishes and good luck to your sister and to you becoming an auntie again! :)

I am pregnant with my second child and am having a shower. I havea 4 1/2 year old son and am now having a girl. It's a bit uncomfortable for me to have the shower, but, there are some things that I really do need. I kept a lot of stuff, but other stuff is worn out, or not safe anymore (like my bottles were pre BPA-free). I think that celebrating the birth of a baby is always a good reason for a party and there's nothing wrong with that - if there are things your sister needs, she can register for them...I have to wonder, is your aunt not going to buy a gift because it's your sister's 2nd pregnancy? I doubt it :-)

I think that your sister is right to want to clebrate every baby. The invitations can say "no gift necessary," if she feels that is appropriate, but why not have a party? And people who don't think that it is appropriate don't have to come.

I'd have to agree with your aunt, repeated baby showers aren't 'required' nor should they be 'expected'. The first shower is for the 'women' to get together and share stories, gifts, and advice with the mom-to-be. Giving gifts that helped them. Parents who think that their decision to add to their family and have others help accommodate that decision are a tad bit selfish. The pending arrival of twins puts a new spin on things, but Mom and Dad know what is needed and should have been buying and accumulating supplies as soon as they knew. Friends and family will, no doubt, give the babies gifts once they get here, but there is no excuse for Mom and Dad not knowing and getting the things they need. You never know what gifts you will receive, and I always treated gifts like frosting and sprinkles on the cupcake. I made sure I had all that was needed, anything I received was an extra, not a necessity. I never gave away any of my baby clothes from the first and second child until I was done having my third. Hand-me-downs between babies and kids is a way of life, kids outgrow before they wear out the vast majority of their clothes and toys. Take good care of things.

But a shower for every baby is just selfish on the Mom's part, sorry. Many people give gifts once the baby arrives and/or at baptism. If you know of something your sister needs and can't afford, you can give her that item, that gift without the shower. When the twins arrive, you can come babysit or take the older sibling out for a trip while Mom gets some one on two time with the twins, or you sit with the twins while she takes the older child out for their one on one time. The gifts of time once those babies arrive will be far more important than anything you can put in a gift bag or tie a ribbon around.

it's fine to have a baby shower for subsequent babies. If you aunt doesn't want to be bothered then leave her off the invite list.

It seems to me that celebration can be done without gifts. Perhaps this is easier to communicate if you call it a 'baby celebration' instead of a shower. Since your sister may need extra things for twins, maybe you can have her register, but make sure that people ask for the info. That way, someone like your aunt, can be invited, and attend without giving a present, while someone who wants to attend and give a present can find something appropriate.

I was given 2 showers for my first and 1 for my second. I figure every baby is a reason to celebrate. I joke that I'd like to have 10 kids. Even though I figure I'll probably not get that far (I may call it quits before I get there!), I would like to have a shower for each baby--even if all I get at future showers is cards and a bite of cake. Or maybe I'd ask those who are coming to pool their resources to get one of those jogging strollers--a double one, ideally...

I'm not sure what school of thought your aunt is from, but don't worry about her. Tell her she doesn't have to buy anything if she wants to come, just come and ooh and aah over the presents. And maybe have the shower after the babies are born, so everyone can enjoy them!

I think it would be a great gesture on your part to go ahead and throw her another. Many women have a babyshower per pregnancy, especially if they are spread out a little and/or a multiple pregnancy. If it makes you feel a little better, you can have it right after the babies are born that way its more of a "meet the new babies" party. I had 2 showers that were after I had my child, and it was so much fun to show off the new addition. Another suggestion is to ask around to see if anybody has the major things that arent being used that she can borrow/have. I know there are certain things that will have to be prchased.
Congrats to you onyour twin nieces/nephews, and to you sister!!

I have three sisters and between us we shared a close group of about 10 other girlfriends. Whenever any of us had babies (we've all had at least three)we wanted to give gifts and celebrate the new addition to the family. Knowing that we were each going to do this, we made an event out of it by (usually) getting together on a weekday afternoon at a restaurant we all enjoyed that we knew would be quiet. We ordered a couple pies to split and each bought her own beverage. Then we just visited, passed around babies, and watched our dear friend open gifts and know that she was loved and supported by us all. Sometimes this was before the baby and sometimes it was after - whatever worked best with everyone's schedules. But there was no thought of selfishness by the mom or any reluctance to give!

I use past tense because this was a few years ago in Wisconsin. I moved here and miss attending those "showers" so much!! I had my third daughter after I moved here, and I didn't need any thing, but I really wished I could have had that time with my girlfriends again to celebrate.

Don't miss your opportunity to give a wonderful experience to your sister, and if calling it a "shower" is the problem, then don't! Just invite everyone to a get-together and if they "happen" to bring her a gift, well that's okay! ;)

I don't see a problem with wanting a shower for each baby. After all, things get stained and worn out, and babies come in different genders, so it makes sense to prepare for each one individually. And twins are a special circumstance. They require a lot more stuff and a lot more work, and the mother of twins is going to need all the encouragement she can get.

I absolutely felt the same way your sister did, I was having a girl the second time and felt that less people were excited or celebrating her arrival. I consider a shower more than gifts ( I didnt' even want gifts at the shower) it's about celebrating the arrival of a baby. I had so many cards/gifts for my first baby and felt bad that i had nothing for my second- I wanted her to have something in her scrapbook of people excited about her arrival. With your sister having twins it's even more necessary for her to have help..you can always do something like a "bottoms only" shower theme--have people bring diapers, diaper creme, wipes maybe they will feel it's more of something she needs and can use instead of clothes.

I used to think it was in appropriate to have a second, but have since changed my mind. My sister's group of friends figure that if there is a group of women that are going to give gifts anyway, why not get together to do that and celebrate? I completely agree and now go along with that reasoning!! Who doesn't love an excuse to get together with your girlfriends?? And celebrating a new baby at the same time is even better! I say go for it, especially since it's twins and if she's asked for it. There's no reason not to spoil an expectant mom!!!

Good heavenly days--- your aunt needs a tonic. ( that's an oldfashioned remedy for being in a rotten mood) Your sister has NOT already had twins. Twins are unique- and every single baby that comes into this world deserves a few nice, new-- bright and shiney things PLUS deserves to be rejoiced in before they arrive--- GREAT JUMPING Jehosaphat.

I'm old, too ( well-- 64 at any rate) --- but have a party-- rejoice- play silly games and give your sister a smile -- . Tell auntie I said so ( she wont' care--- but you and I do)

Blessings,
J.- aka- Old Mom

I agree with your sister. You should celebrate every child and that is the reason for having a baby shower. If your Aunt raises a stink then politly let her know that she doesn't have to join you in the celebration of your new family members. We had a shower for our second child and for something different my sister-in-law invited the hubbies, it was a blast watching them play all the games and they had a great time. Have fun! :)

I don't see anything wrong with having a second baby shower. My sister in law was given two showers for her second child by family and friends. A co-worker just had her third, this time a girl and we gave her one. I think the purpose is to celebrate the new life coming into the world and help the parents get the things they need. I would absolutely throw her a baby shower and those that feel its wrong or don't want to participate don't have to come. =)