Intertility Treatments - Mixed Emotions

Try not to stress about it and take advantage of science. Just remember how lucky we are (compared to twenty years ago) that we have this great science to help infertility. And try to ignore all the obnoxious women who essentially "brag" about how easy it was for them to just pop out the babies like that -- with just a snap of their fingers...

Yes, it is a little disappointing at first to realize you will need help to conceive. Getting pregnant is something that seems so easy for some women, and so difficult for others! I started trying to have children at 23 and ran into problems I never dreamed I'd have. But:

I have four beautiful, healthy children. They are all here because of fertility treatments.
#1 - we tried ourselves for a year, went on Clomid for about 6 months and it worked. This was my most "naturally" conceived child.
#2 - we tried ourselves for a year, then went on Clomid for a year, then had AI's for a year before we finally conceived. I thought it might never happen but kept plugging along and never gave up hope.
#3 - we went straight to AI's, but after 6 months of no luck, switched to IUI's, and after another 6 months we got pregnant.
#4 - because of my age and declining fertility, we went straight to IVF's, and I was lucky enough to have it work the first time. It was twins! Unfortunately I lost one of them early on, but my son was born healthy and full term.
Bottom line? I don't spend any time thinking about how they were conceived, I'm just thrilled I have the large family I always wanted! Please go all out and try every path if this is what you truly want. Even if it doesn't work out, you'll always know you did everything you could to make it happen.
To me, there is nothing sadder than talking to a 50-something year old woman and hearing her say, "Oh, I wish now that I had had more children..." Good luck!

We were the opposite of you. We needed to use Clomid the first time and then were pregnant no problem this time around. I didn't feel disappointed I couldn't get pregnant, I was just very anxious to start my family and was willing to do whatever it took! When the doctor prescribed me Clomid, I was so happy to finally have something that might help. I did conceive twins, and I actually feel more disappointed that I didn't conceive them without assistance. I know it sounds silly, and if it were one baby I wouldn't feel that way, but twins do run in my family. Even though the doctor told me Clomid doesn't really affect the chances of conceiving multiples that much, I can't say what brought us the twins - genetics or Clomid. But, in the end it doesn't matter. I have two beautiful boys and a little girl on the way. My dream of being a mom came true, and yes, I had to use fertility drugs to do it, but I doesn't matter how your precious baby comes into the world. He/she won't care!

I had lots of mixed emotions...shouldn't I be happy with just one? What's wrong with my body? Am I going crazy? And then people telling me to just "relax and it will happen." this made it worse! I joined Mamapedia for this very reason...actually.

When my daughter turned about 3, we decided we were ready for #2 only nature had other plans. We decided we would do everything naturally possible to help move things along. (We don't have money for anything else)...After 3 years, I was ready to be happy with just one....but decided to try regular weekly acupuncture treatments. (A new community acupuncture place opened up in our neighborhood.) Well, this gal had the magic touch. After a year of going, I finally conceived. (I am due in August) During this year, my best friend also got pregnant and I was spending alot of time around her. Our daughters will be over 7 years apart but we coudn't be happier.

I have heard that acupuncture is also great to use alongside other treatments. This clinic is a bit of a drive for you but she might be worth it. (www.beachacu.com/....see Nicole, the owner)

My husband and I are in our mid 30's and acupuncture helped out a lot. I think you should look into acupuncture to go along with the treatments as there have been studies that the acupuncture helps with the treatments as much as the hormone treatments do. Good luck and as always when you decide something big, you will always have some sort of hesitation, relax that will help you.

Hey, don't feel bad it really is no big deal in the end. It doesn't matter how you conceived the baby the end result is what is important! Our situation is kind of the reverse of yours. We tried for 2 years straight, age 34-36 for both of us, and finally bit the bullet and went to the clinic. After several months of Clomid, no luck, so we went to "injectables" plus IUI and got pregnant with triplets right away. (My family has several sets of twins so this was almost inevitable!) Unfortunately we lost one of the triplets early in the pregnancy but soldiered on. Our boys were born preemie at 29 weeks and are happy 4 year olds now! Another great thing is that we conceived our daughter (born full-term, now 2) with no intervention at age 38-she was a happy surprise! I will never regret doing those treatments. Yes, I had mixed emotions at first but the clinic was so supportive and it was actually kind of fun and exciting, if you can believe it.

Just stopping by to give you some encouragement....

A friend of mine was having trouble conceiving. They did treatments, got pregnant, and now have 4 children - the last three being conceived without "assistance". Sometimes your body just needs a little help getting started.

Don't feel bad. After all, you get to do ALL the work once you conceive.

God Bless

I was apprehensive before we went forward with IVF. Now we have two beautiful medical miracles. It can be a long, frustrating, sometimes painful process, but the ends can justify the means.
If you have questions along the way, feel free to PM me any time.
Best of luck to you!

I had infertilitly treatment. I was in my 30's. It went smoothly. Don't worry about it too much, do what you have to do and it'll be over in no time. If you can give the hormone shot yourself instead of going to a nurse it will save you a lot of time. I did it on my tummy, the possibilities of getting prego they say, are stronger. My suggestion is try to stay relaxed with everything, you still might get pregnant naturally even after a few injections, which is harmless. That's what happened to me with my second. I wish you the best.

I went through the same thing so I totally understand where you're coming from. I had no problems conceiving #1, but it took nearly 2 years and 7 early miscarriages before I conceived #2. Difficulty conceiving baby #2 is actually called secondary infertility. The sad thing is the doctors don't have a lot of sympathy -- they often say "Well you already have one, many woman have none."

For me I have very strong faith, and I knew I was meant to have two children. So emotionally I kept focusing on that. I didn't like that my body wasn't working right, but I assumed God wanted me to have the experience to learn something from it. I learned patience plus I learned what it means to have great loss. Each time I would experience the loss, grieve for a few days, then refocus on my belief that I knew I was meant to have two kids.

I went through all the infertility tests and they could not find something wrong. I figured if something had been wrong I wouldn't have been able to conceive #1 so easily. I ended up doing acupuncture for 5 months. Only after that, and some balancing herbs, was I finally able to conceive and stay pregnant.

I hope you find something that works.
B.

My husband and I tried unsuccessfully for three years to conceive our first child, and finally chose another daddy to be our child's biological father, since the fertility clinic told my husband that he had problems with copiousness and motility, and his chances were very small.

As a healthy woman in her late thirties, I did not want to put my body and health through the severe medical interventions of IVF with the possibility of multiples, having to selectively eliminate too many embryos, plus the uncertainty of having any success even after many treatments and mega $$$, so we chose a different father. We created an intentional family to conceive and raise our child together, three equal consenting adults choosing polyfidelity. We are now an incredibly happy family with 2 active, involved, loving and caring daddies (albeit living in different states), and a healthy mommy and one very active son. Due to all our advanced ages, 58, 51, and me, 46 (gave birth at 41-1/2 to a healthy boy), we decided to leave it at one healthy child and not take our chances again for another child/twins with medical problems.

Our life is so much easier with just one great little boy, we travel a lot, also internationally, can offer our 1 child more activities, growing up in 2 very different states (going back and forth between MT and CA), have just 1 car, not a gas guzzling minivan, and are not giving in to the opinion of others who think everyone needs 2 children. I realize that every family is different, and wish you happiness in the choice you make for yourself.

Boy can I relate to your sadness and grief. My husband and I tried for three years using every avenue of natural conception imaginable. I had a library of fertility books that would match any doctor's. We ended up having to go through three rounds of IVF with our third round being with an egg donor. Our son is an amazing little miracle to us and we are so thankful for him. The journey helps you to appreciate the destination all the more.

I am sending you the Chinese medicine recipe for Mother's Soup. It makes babies. It doesn't cost a fortune just a visit to Chinatown and the ingredients cooked properly.
I've used it for women wanting to become pregnant for over 35 years. It is good after miscarriage, after abortions, when your period is haywire, and when you need to get pregnant asap.

Updated

I am sending you the Chinese medicine recipe for Mother's Soup. It makes babies. It doesn't cost a fortune just a visit to Chinatown and the ingredients cooked properly.
I've used it for women wanting to become pregnant for over 35 years. It is good after miscarriage, after abortions, when your period is haywire, and when you need to get pregnant asap.

Updated

I am sending you the Chinese medicine recipe for Mother's Soup. It makes babies. It doesn't cost a fortune just a visit to Chinatown and the ingredients cooked properly.
I've used it for women wanting to become pregnant for over 35 years. It is good after miscarriage, after abortions, when your period is haywire, and when you need to get pregnant asap.

You may always have the mixed emotions, so to start, I would not expect myself to just let that go, or get over it, as you might feel you should. You can grieve the loss of not being "able" to just naturally get pregnant the old fashioned way. It is a loss, and trust me, as someone who is starting IVF #2 this week, you should mourn it as such. You may feel that your body failed you, that you read all the time about 'older" women in their late 30s/early 40s just magically getting pregnant. The reality is that a LOT of women use some sort of infertility treatment, they just don't talk about it because there is a stigma and shame attached.

Now the good news - IVF (if that is the route you go, though your doctor will probably try IUIs first) is NOT the horror show some may lead you to believe. Sure, it is tiring and you have to do some part of it daily, whether it's injections, blood work, ultrasound, or all three. It is mentally very tiring as well, trying to keep your spirits up and stay positive and focused on why you are doing it in the first place. But it's not as awful as you might think, it goes by very quickly, and it's exciting in a way, because science really does have such amazing advances that allow us to fulfill our dreams! If you have a good doctor/clinic, chances are the nurses are awesome, and you are all in it together with eyes on the prize. It does go by fast. I would never be doing it again if this wasn't the case.

Just remember that although you may not resolve the conflicted feelings, you will get through this, and when that baby does arrive, you will NOT care how s/he was conceived. You will be a much stronger woman and a better mother for all of this, please believe me. Don't be afraid to talk to trusted friends or a counselor if you think you might benefit. Good luck!! You can do it!!

since you have already had a successful pregnancy I would start fertility treatments as simple as possible and, you never know, you might just succeed quickly. What I mean is try artificial insemination with fertilty drugs, like clomid. that way its relatively inexpensive at first. try that like 2-3 times before you try IVF. AI is like $1000.00 each time while IVF is more like 12K or so. big difference. You're in a good position though because you've already had a successful pregnancy so nothing is telling you that you can't do it again.
and, yes, its really tough emotionally. super tough. take good care of yourself on this journey!